


i would do anything to see you smile

by fyeahnatasharomanoff (MykaBeringWells)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Cuties, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Light Angst, Teacher Steve Rogers, Teacher-Student Relationship, but honestly not much, these two are just too darn cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-28 11:40:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 124,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14448531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MykaBeringWells/pseuds/fyeahnatasharomanoff
Summary: Natasha has been a straight A student since elementary school. All the teachers at her school know her, and know what to expect of her - only good things. So when she learns she will have a brand new teacher for AP Lit that year, she sets out on the first day to introduce herself ... and what follows is not a life either of them ever thought they'd find themselves living, but they wouldn't change it for the world.





	1. The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the beginning, there was an idea...
> 
> (JK this is NOT that serious haha, but this IS the beginning idea!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I got it out before infinity war! Woohoo! Leaving in literally two minutes to go see it so please enjoy the first chapter of this joyous cute fluffy installment of teacher steve and student nat :)

Natasha has been a straight A student since elementary school. Her classmates might call her a know-it-all or a kiss-up or teacher’s pet, but she has never felt the need to apologize for working hard to get good grades. After all, if she wanted any chance at going to college, she knew she would need a scholarship, which meant she would need good grades. So she’s a serious student. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t like to have fun - she’s a senior in high school, of course she does. She’s had a boyfriend and is aware of her body and can drink with the best of them. Still, she is careful about school.

All the teachers at her school know her, and know what to expect of her - only good things. So when she learns she will have a brand new teacher for AP Lit that year, she sets out on the first day to introduce herself, knowing the importance of a good first impression. She didn’t have time before class, so after their first class, she goes to him to introduce herself and ask questions about the material from that day. Right off the bat, Steve knows she is going to be the kind of student he was - always asking questions, really trying to understand and absorb the information. So he sets up some office hours and tells her to stop by if she has more questions.

Later that day after the final bell rings and the first day of senior year is officially over, Natasha finds herself wandering almost mindlessly to Mr. Rogers’ office. Her mind is already racing with how much she has to get done before the semester (and even the week) is over. When she finally arrives she sees the door is shut and knocks just to make sure he’s in there.

“Come in! It’s open,” she hears her teacher call out.

She opens the door and as she walks in he lifts his head up from where he’s writing notes in the margin of a worn-out book. “Ah, Ms. Romanoff, I should’ve known.”

She’s not quite in the right mindset for awkward joking right now, so she just lets out a hum accompanied by a tight smile. “Yeah, I don’t know if you’ve heard from the other teachers, but I am a pretty - involved - student.” He nods slightly, signaling for her to continue. “So I will probably be in here every day with questions or wanting feedback or help, just so you’re prepared.”

“Well thank you, I appreciate that,” he responds sincerely. “Now what can I do for you today?”

“Okay so -“ and with that she launches into multiple questions she already has about the first bit of reading assigned and he answers every one, trying to calm her down at the same time.

Once she is finally finished with her questions, he continues, “So Ms. Romanoff, tell me about yourself. I like to get to know my students, especially if they’re going to be in here everyday,” he finishes in a light teasing tone.

“Well, you already know I’m a senior… I’m of course dedicated to school but I also dance - ballet - and do Tae Kwon Do and MMA training.”

Steve’s eyebrows raised a bit at the last part. “Now that’s not something you hear every day. Very cool, Ms. Romanoff. So, I’m sure you’re going to get sick of hearing this, but what are you planning to do about college?”

“Well, my dream is to go to NYU. That way I can learn from some of the best and still continue with dance and be in the heart of everything. But that’s the dream. Probably something more realistic is a state school, considering I’m going to pay for it myself.”

“Ah. Is that why you’re so focused on school? Are you hoping to get a scholarship?”

“Well, yes in a way. That would be ideal, and I’m trying for Valedictorian because I think that title will help a lot… but also I just really enjoy learning and I’m so lucky to even be able to get an education and I feel like…I’m not going to be able to be in school forever, so I should take advantage of my ability and privilege while I can, you know?”

As she says this, Steve is sure he’s never met a 17 year old more mature and both self and socially aware than her. He nods, a bit lost in thought, before speaking. “I’m impressed. That’s great that you understand the magnitude of receiving an education, and that you’re paying for college all on your own… maybe we old folks have something to learn from the youth after all.”

She smiles a little bit at that and he momentarily bursts with joy, so glad his lame joke could get her to smile and let go of some of that stress for a little bit.

She finds herself smiling and wanting to roll her eyes - but she doesn’t because, come on, this guy is still new and she has an image to maintain. God does she want to, though. She thinks this is probably just the beginning. He clearly is the dad joke type… but honestly she’s glad. He got her to smile, letting go and taking a breath of fresh air after being bogged down with school already today. And then she does something that surprises herself - she jokes back.

“Well, Mr. Rogers, if you need lessons or any extra help, I am the school’s most sought after tutor. I’d be glad to put your name on the waitlist.”

He laughed, actually laughed out loud - one single “Ha!” but still, a laugh - then shook his head lightly. “I have no doubt, Ms. Romanoff.” He holds eye contact with her and lets the smallest of smiles grace his features. “No doubt.”

That much confidence from someone she just met, especially her teacher, means a lot. So at his words, Natasha smiles more sincerely now and her eyes shine and his lips lift up too.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he finds he wants to make her do that again. She looks so happy and beautiful and relaxed and so not like the intensely focused, stressed student that entered his office only a short while ago.

“Okay, well. Looks like it’s time for me to go. But like I said before, you can expect me probably every day.”

“Sounds good. I will be prepared. See you in class tomorrow?” he asks as she stands.

She throws her backpack over her right shoulder and slides her arms through the straps on both sides, then flips her hair free as she says “yep, see you tomorrow. Thanks for the help!” Then she turns and hurries out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is as it seems - a teacher/student AU. This is my happy cute story I've been working on for a lot of months. It's all written, so I'll be posting a chapter a day if this one gets a good response and people seem like they want more :) I know its a little unconventional but no actual stuff happens when she's underage, so it's actually all okay.. and I just think it's real cute so. Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you thought :)


	2. Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's more to each than meets the eye -   
> Let's start with Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all those who read and commented on the last chapter! Here is chapter 2 :)

Over the next few weeks, Natasha visited Mr. Rogers almost every day, as promised. She always came with questions, completed her homework with him there to answer questions as they arose or assure her she was correct, and then they would always get to talking about her future and life in general before she left to be home in time for dinner. Natasha found herself enjoying her time with Mr. Rogers. She found that he was a wealth of knowledge, and thoroughly enjoyed getting to pick his brain about both school-related topics and not.

On a Wednesday afternoon, about a month into the school year, she was in his office after school like always, and he was (lightheartedly) complaining about how his office was so messy and the papers he needed to grade were piling up. Natasha had mentioned that she was saving up for college earlier so Steve just stopped himself in the middle of his rant to ask, “hey, would you want to be my TA?”

Natasha was incredibly thankful to him for taking the time to work with her and care enough to ask about her life, so she accepted.

“Great! Okay, so since you’re already in here pretty much everyday, let’s just make it every day after school for a half hour?”

She nodded in agreement.

“And then in the meanwhile or after or you choose.. you can ask me whatever questions you have. And I’ll pay you, of course,” he explained.

“Sounds like a plan!” She smiled at him brightly.

He returned her smile with one of his own. “Great. Let’s start tomorrow. And if you need a day off ever, just let me know.” He looked to her for acknowledgement, which she gave with a quick nod.

“Thank you so much, Natasha.”

“No problem, Mr. Rogers. I should be thanking you for always being so helpful and available.”

“I’m happy to. You’re a really bright student, Natasha,” he responded quickly with a genuine smile that she mirrored after a moment.

After holding eye contact for a second, she looked down at her phone as it buzzed and nearly curses but remembers where she is and stops herself. She looked back at him apologetically and said, “I’m sorry, I have to go. My dad is wondering where I am.. But I’ll be in tomorrow right after school! Thanks again!” And with that, she was out of the door (with what would’ve been a gust of wind had this been a cartoon). He watched her rush out and chuckled to himself before responding, “see you tomorrow,” to no one in particular, as she was already down the hall and out of earshot.

* * *

A few weeks later, Steve was in his office one Monday when he heard a knock on his door. He knew immediately who it probably was, and opened it to usher Natasha in. As she got settled he asked, “did you have a good weekend?”

She smiled kindly at him. “Yeah, I did. Got a head start on some things I have due this week, so that’s always good.”

He nodded in understanding.

“What about you? You do anything fun Saturday night?” she continued.

His face lit up and he nodded vigorously, clearly excited to share his adventure. “Yeah, actually! I mean, all the guys from my barbershop quartet are dead,” he joked, “but my best friend since I was a kid got engaged a couple months ago so he came this weekend and I took him sky-diving!”

Her jaw dropped. “You — Mr. Rogers — Skydiving?” She shook her head, “I can’t see it. I don’t believe you.”

He laughed, “I swear I did!” He took her disbelief as a challenge and whipped out his phone to show her the video. “See! Watch,” he commanded as he took her hands to have them securely hold his phone. Then he hit play and her ears were filled with the sound of his gleeful laughing and screaming that surely came from the adrenaline rush of basically flying. Her eyes widened and her mouth formed a perfect O. She paused the video to look at him, eyes shining.

He had been watching the video with her, which meant his body was almost pressed up against her. When she looked up at him she found that his face was a lot closer than she had expected, but she didn’t back down and exclaimed, “you’re crazy!” in a mixture of awe and astonishment. He just gave her a boyish grin, eyes sparkling, before looking back down to the phone and pressing play again. She stared at him for a moment longer, realizing for the first time how young her teacher was, then smiled to herself and moved her attention back to the video.

When it finished she laughed lightly again and handed the phone back to him. He took it and moved to put his phone back on his desk.

“So you said your friend was here? Where from?” she asked.

“Oh, Brooklyn. That’s where we both grew up, actually.”

“I didn’t know that!”

He chuckled.

“So, how did you end up here in DC?”

“Well, I used to want to be an artist, believe it or not, but I always loved history, so my plan was to work at the Smithsonian part time and work on my art. But, as I’m sure you’ll learn, life is … not so easy as that.”

She smiled sympathetically and he met her eyes, then shrugged. “But it worked out, I think. I mean I don’t know about you but I really enjoy teaching.”

She responded with a glimmer in her eye, “Well that makes one of us.” He laughed and she winked.

“So is he visiting for long?” He looked confused for a moment. “Your friend — you said he’s engaged?”

“Oh! Yeah… he’s here til Sunday. He said he wants a DC bachelor party, in addition to his normal one we have planned. I think he’s just milking having friends all over,” he laughed to himself, “but I’m happy to have him here so I’m planning a little something for this weekend - maybe Friday or Saturday night - since, you know —“

“Your barbershop quartet is dead, right, yeah, now your Saturday nights are free,” Natasha played along, nodding as she spoke.

Steve hummed out a laugh.

“Well, I wish you luck with that. Now,” she stood, “what do you have for me today?”

“Right. Right… depending how much you have to do, I was hoping you could get started on grading?” He motioned to the stack of papers on the floor by the door.

She nodded and that was that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one! It was written already, but still, after seeing IW just 2 hours ago, I had to proofread and post this, so that's saying something that I had the mental capacity at all. {If you've seen it - come talk to me.}
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! As always, let me know what you thought.


	3. Flubbing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when you put two fairly awkward, polite, cautious people in a room together with an assumption in one's head about the other?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to all the adorably awkward, sweet souls out there
> 
> also just in case there are any kiddos reading this - slight language warning for this one

That Friday, Natasha was in Mr. Rogers’ office as usual, asking questions and just talking when her phone buzzed. She ignored it - she was having a good conversation and she didn’t want to be distracted or rude to her teacher. She continued talking to him, nodding and being as present as she could when her phone kept buzzing with what she assumed were more text messages. Eventually, it became so continuous - whoever it was was so persistent, they were now calling her - that Steve stopped speaking, motioning with his head down to her pocket where her phone was, “You gonna get that?”

She sighed, pulling her phone out of her pocket, looking apologetically at him, “I’m sorry, just give me one second.” She whispered the end as she picked up the phone and put up one finger before stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind her.

She didn’t go much further, he guessed, because he could hear her side of the conversation. He was trying not to listen in, but she was yelling a bit, so he couldn’t really help it. (Plus she sounded pretty angry and hey, he was concerned!)

* * *

 

As soon as she was out of the room she looked at her caller ID and spoke. “What, Clint? What is so urgent??”

“Jeez, Nat, don’t sound so angry - I just wanted to know what time you need a ride to work tonight. I’m trying to make plans.”

“UGH, couldn’t you just text that?!”

“Well I did but you weren’t responding!”

She sighed in exasperation. “I have to be there by 9, so 8:30? Will Laura be okay doing something earlier?” she questioned knowingly.

Clint, used to her teasing, just sounded resigned when he responded “Yes I’m sure she’ll be fine with it. See you then.”

“Bye Barton.” Then she hung up and walked back into Mr. Rogers’ office.

* * *

 

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. When she looked up to him, she saw him looking back at her with an amused expression, eyebrow arched in a silent question.

“Sorry,” she gave him a sheepish grin, “that was just Clint pestering me as usual,” she explained as she put her phone away.

“Ah, yes. Mr. Barton.. If you don’t mind my asking, how long have you two been together?”

She snapped her eyes back up to meet his gaze and a light blush appeared on her cheeks. “Oh, no. We’re, he’s, we’re not —“ she was motioning with her fingers trying to explain without words that they weren’t together, because for some reason verbal communication was failing her right then. “He’s with Laura,” she finally blurted out.

“Oh!” Now Steve was at a loss for words and at least had the decency to blush. “Oh, sorry. I — sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed.. I just. Sorry.” He looked up from under his eyelashes a bit ashamedly.  
“Fuck,” he whispered under his breath, shaking his head at himself. Of course, she heard him, and laughed shakily, running a hand through her hair trying to gain back some composure. “It’s okay - common mistake, I get it.” She continued, trying to change the subject, “um, what do you have for me to do today?”

“Oh, yeah, um, nothing really. You can go home early if you want…” he finished, quickly shifting his eyes up to hers in a mixture of gratefulness and guilt, and then away again.

She waved him off. “Nonsense. I’ll just hang like normal, then? And do homework? Is that okay?”

“Yeah, yeah that’s fine. Just, let me know if you have questions or want to go. I’ll walk you out.”

“Okay cool, thanks.”

For the next half hour they worked in silence - the only sounds his typing, her flipping pages, and their breathing. When Natasha was done with her reading she closed the book dramatically and sighed. “Okay, all done. Freedom!”

Steve stopped his work and looked at her, hands still hovering over his keyboard.

“Well, I think I’m gonna head out!”

“Of course, of course. Get an early start on the weekend — well,” he checked his watch, “as early as you can when its 4pm already.”

She chuckled lightly as she packed up her backpack, standing when she was ready, waiting for him as he pulled on his jacket.

“Ready?” he asked.

She nodded. He grabbed his lanyard and put it around his neck before placing a hand at the small of her back to signal he was ready and then to politely escort her out. They walked out into the hallway and she waited as he turned back, shut and locked his door. Then his hand resumed its place and they walked to the double doors at the entrance to the building. When they arrived, he opened the door for her and she walked through, while he put his hand up on the frame of the door on the left to lean slightly and make sure she got off okay. She turned to face him, opening her mouth to say something but Steve beat her to it.

“Natasha I’m sorry, again, for earlier,” he jerked his head back, as if to motion to his office where the (slightly hilarious) ordeal had taken place just a short while before, before looking away.

She wanted him to stop feeling bad and was sincere when she said, “really,” then hesitantly placed her hand over his where it was still resting on the door, “Mr. Rogers — ” she said his name firmly to get him to look at her, and he did “— it’s okay.” She gave him a little smile of reassurance that actually made him feel like it was okay.

He returned her smile and let out a breath of relief. “Okay. Well, I’ll see you Monday. Have a good weekend!”

She smiled back brightly and removed her hand, where she had forgotten it rested on top of his, as she said “you too!” Then she turned quickly, hair flying over her shoulder, and away she went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey fam - thanks for reading! If you couldn't tell, this chapter was pretty much to establish for Steve that Nat and Clint are not a couple, and really the adorable nonsense just flowed out of me because these two are so ridiculously cute. Let me know your feels in the comments :)


	4. Staring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promise this isn't going to turn into Moulin Rouge!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's try something a little different

The night of the bachelor party had finally arrived and so Friday night found Steve at a hot local strip club. He really wasn't one for these places but Bucky had been a great friend to Steve — more than a friend, a brother, really — so he went, without complaint. Taking this into consideration, though, Steve surprised himself when he found his eyes locking onto one of the dancers on the stage and following her every movement. He couldn't see her face because her back is to them but the way she moved her lithe body down the pole was enrapturing and her red hair was beautiful like a shimmering glowing star in a gray dark sky.

They were being taken to the VIP area when he saw her and he realized he stopped walking in his enchantment when Tony bumped into him from behind. Of course, Tony, being Tony, noticed Steve stopped in his tracks and followed his gaze to the dancer. He abruptly whistled before asking, "wow Steve, someone got your eye?"

That was all it took to snap Steve out of his trance, eyes widening, appalled at his own behavior, then moving to sit down at their table. Eventually, though, the conversation ventured into something not particularly of interest to Steve and so he found his eyes wandering the room, traveling inevitably back to her.

His friends settled in and, after ordering drinks, were asked by their host if there are any girls in particular that they'd like to join them for the evening. Tony picked one excitedly, Sam too, and Bucky looked to Steve while stating his choice. He found him staring and followed Steve's gaze, then said to the host "I think we'll take that one, too."

For a second time, Steve hastily snapped out of it and looked around with wide eyes BUT did not object. Bucky only laughed at his expression and slapped him on the back, "yeah buddy, we noticed."

Steve turned a shade of pink and made it a point not to look up again, instead just focusing on his friends. He really couldn't help it though when a whole 4 minutes later the song ends. She left the stage whispering with his group's host before nodding and looking in their direction. Then, because he was slightly staring again, he recognized her face in the low light and his eyes went wide and he swallowed hard and she looked terrified for a second before schooling her expression. He looked away quickly, skin flushing a deep red, then swallowed down his drink and stood up, mind made up that he needed to leave. His friends asked where he's going and he apologized hurriedly and just said he had to go. In their confusion, his friends didn't even think about trying to stop him and he's out of there in the blink of an eye.

Natasha was fully aware, though. She watched him run out of there, noticing his biceps and the V-line that became slightly visible as he lifted his arms to swing on his leather jacket. As she stared in a slight state of shock, her eyes continued swiping over what he was wearing — jeans and a very tight white t-shirt and that jacket. She looked after him and it felt like her heart was dropping to the bottom of her stomach. _Fuck,_ she thought _, no one was ever supposed to find out. Especially not one of her teachers! … but, wait a second .. he ran….._

* * *

The weekend passed with much shame and not knowing what to do from both parties and soon enough it was Monday again. She didn't show up at his office like normal and he was kind of expecting it, but still he was concerned and a bit sad because he'd thought threw the whole thing and come to a fairly mature conclusion, but evidently he wasn't going to get the chance to make things right or at all normal again.

When it was time for his actual class, though, the next day, he knew she wouldn't skip so he prepared a plan. He was right, but she looked distracted and sat at the very back of the room and didn't look at him at all. So, before he began the lesson he spoke loud enough for the whole class to hear. "Ms. Romanoff, may I speak with you after class?"

She looked up then and looked around at her classmates, who were all staring at her, before finding her teacher's eyes. Searching them, she found no way out, so she nodded so minutely that if he hadn't been looking he would've missed it.

As promised, when class was over she gathered her things and waited until everyone was out of the room before heading over to his desk to talk to him. "You wanted to speak with me," she timidly asked.

"Yeah," Steve cleared his throat. "I just wanted um," his voice became quieter, "to apologize for the other night and tell you you have nothing to worry about…"

For some reason this irritated Natasha, bringing to light her inner insecurities, and she huffed, snapping as she asked "why did you leave so quickly then? Be honest - was I really that disgusting that you couldn't even look at me?"

His eyes widened and a light blush creeped up his neck in realization and as he tries to respond, "no, oh. No, Natasha. God. You're," he rubbed the back of his neck and looked up to the ceiling before landing his eyes on the floor, "you're beautiful. I just, wasn't thinking straight. Sorry." He added a shrug and a sheepish grin, then, looking at her again now, "and I'm always honest."

Now it was her turn to blush a bit. "Thank you. I mean, I never meant for anyone to find out but.. you won't tell anyone, right? I mean, that's how I'm making my money and it's actually a really good gig! even though it's like I'm putting my body for sale…. Like, I have control over the situation so really it's okay and it pays well and" —

"Miss Romanoff. Natasha — your secret is safe with me," he reassured her, with a wink to try to lighten the mood. "And for the record, I think you're incredibly smart. You're beautiful and you're using that to make money… totally working the system I think."

At this, she met his eyes in a moment of surprise. She definitely wasn't expecting _that_ response. He continued, "I'm sorry for bolting out of there," and she laughed, causing him to give her another sheepish grin, "but I panicked and I thought — well, I still think — it's inappropriate for me to be there."

She hummed and nodded in agreement and mutual understanding, before her eyes shifted and shone now with mischief. "So, Mr. Rogers, what were you doing there in the first place? Never figured you for a strip club kinda guy."

He breathed out a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his neck where another rush of red was appearing. "Ah, well, yes. It was my friend's bachelor party, the one I told you about on Friday.. and you're right you know normally I'm not that kind of guy but he's like my brother! and I felt I had to go just to show my appreciation and because I owed him and I just felt like I had to show up so … .. there you have it.."

She seemed amused by his rambling, listening with a small smile on her face and an eyebrow raised. "Whatever you say, Rogers." She could've gone on but decided to have mercy and before he can react in embarrassment, she switches the topic to more solid ground.

"So. About the topic today …" She looked down to open her notebook and he stared in awe for a moment until she looked back up and caught his eye. He shook his head, laughing softly, and he's so grateful for the douse of normality that pours over him that he almost audibly sighs in relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo that was that! :) Thanks so much for reading and please do let me know what you thought. I know this was a bit of a change from previous chapters so feedback is appreciated!
> 
> Also, this will be my last post for a while as I'm leaving tomorrow for a 2-week vacation. I will try to post again when I'm back but then I start a new job 2 days later so it might be once a week starting then. Plus I'm kinda in a tough spot right now where my mood and energy just aren't matching the fluffiness and stuff that I need to feel in order to keep writing so.. it's just kind of a waiting game at this point :/ Just hard battling your own brain sometimes ! I'm really going go try though!


	5. Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bonding + sweet sweet Steve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i have returned from vacation and have this new chapter ready for you! read and enjoy

P _reviously - "your secret is safe with me"_

After that, things actually went pretty much back to normal. Natasha continued visiting Steve in his office — after all, it was technically her job. Anyway, he still helped her with her work, and actually now that he had this new knowledge of her situation, it worked out even better for Natasha. See, Steve, being the kind-hearted person he is, offered her when they were in his office one afternoon an extension on any future assignment and whatever other help she needs, if she needed it. He even gave her his phone number so she could reach him at any hour, because now he knew her schedule was a little out of the ordinary.

Over the next couple months, they became what some might call - friends. They had conversations about topics other than school - they talked about things going on in the world and occasionally her life, but Natasha realized one day that she didn't know much about her teacher. So naturally, out of the blue one day when they were both quietly working in his office, she looked up at him with a serious face on and blurted out, "do you like dancing?"

Steve paused, still looking at the paper he was grading, before slowly turning his head towards Natasha with a small surprised grin. "And this is relevant to your studies.. how?"

At this, Natasha cracked a smile, rolled her eyes, and let out an airy huff of amusement. "It's not. I just, feel like you know so much about me but I feel like I don't know anything about you…"

Steve put down the paper he was holding and turned to give Natasha his full attention, wanting to let her know he wasn't brushing her off. "Well, okay then. How bout 20 Questions?"

"20 questions?"

"Yeah, you know… you get to ask me 20 questions to get to know me better. So you better make 'em good!"

Natasha was a bit surprised at how easily he volunteered the opportunity, but she wasn't about to not take advantage of it. "Well, um … okay! Number 1 - how old are you?"

Steve laughed loudly "Ha!"

"What?!"

"THAT'S the big question that's been on your mind?"

"It's just a good starting point!"

Steve chuckled softly but finally answered the question. "27. Happy? And, you know, I thought you weren't supposed to ask people about their age," he teased.

Natasha smiled lightly and shook her head. "No, silly. That's women. And last I checked," she purposefully dragged her eyes down his body, "you are _definitely_ not a woman," and snapped her eyes back to his as she finished.

She won this round and Steve looked to the floor, coughing through his blush as he tried to regain control of the situation. Natasha couldn't help it and laughed at him in all his sputtering non-glory. "You're so easy."

Steve cleared his throat one last time and finally was able to respond, "Well, if that's all you were wondering I'll just be getting back to work now —"

"No! Wait. Sorry. I'm sorry. Can we do more? Please?" Her eyes pleaded with him and (unnecessarily because he would've kept going anyway but …) he caved.

"Yes yes of course. 19 more to go," he stated, motioning with his hand for her to continue.

So that's how the rest of the afternoon went on — Natasha asking questions that had been on her mind or that just occurred to her in that moment and teasing remarks being thrown back and forth between the pair. All in all it really did help accomplish what she wanted — she felt like she knew him better, and the icing on the cake was they grew that much closer, too.

* * *

Close enough, in fact, that she did end up calling him a few times late at night, early in the morning, and on weekends with questions. He always answered, always helped, and never complained. That built trust — evidenced in what happened one night, late, when Natasha had just gotten off work.

She left work and started driving home and went about 4 miles when her car decided it hated her and sputtered and started smoking and slowed to a stop. She got out to check the hood and cursed to herself and kicked a tire in frustration — she was definitely not going anywhere for a while. She immediately got out her phone and called Clint, hoping he could come pick her up, and she would just deal with this tomorrow. However, Clint did not answer, even after 3 tries, so she gave up, paused, and thought of really the only other person she felt she could call at this time of night who would help her.

He picked up on the first try, answering the phone in a low, gravelly voice, "Hello?"

Natasha's eyes widened slightly at that so she cleared her throat then made sure her voice sounded as innocent as possible as she asked for help.

"Mr. Rogers? It's me, Natasha… I'm so sorry to wake you but I didn't really know who else to call. My parents are out of town and Clint won't answer and I don't really have anyone else but my car broke down and I don't have my insurance card with me and I really need a ride home because it is _freezing_ out here. Do you think you could come get me?"

Fully awake at this point, Steve asked where she was, so she shared her location to his phone and he got it while still on the phone with her. "K, sit tight. I'll be there in 10."

Teeth starting to chatter, Natasha muttered a quick "thank you" before getting back into her car and waiting. She started getting cold again and then cursed, realizing in her hurry to get to work because she was running late, she forgot her change of sweats and now her teacher was going to have to see her in all her stripper glory. At least she remembered the coat…

Then sure enough, 10 minutes later Steve pulled up, which is when she realized he rides a _motorcycle_. She gulped as she took in that fact and also because he's in a white shirt again and a thick coat that looks like he just threw on and his hair is disheveled _and_ he is wearing GLASSES.

But he's there to save her and he's so very concerned about her and she honestly is so cold and grateful so she puts that out of her mind, which turns out to be a very good thing when his concern manifests in Steve holding her very close after he took in her attire and realized how cold she must be. And because she knew that — knew that it was not in a dirty way, just out of concern — she sunk into him and let herself be warmed up.

She gave directions to her house when he asked, "where to?," not even really thinking once that maybe she shouldn't be telling this man where she lives because come on it's Steve and he's SO sweet. Natasha fisted her hands in his shirt and could feel his body heat radiating from beneath her hands, and when she held him tightly as he sped through the streets, she was met with a rock hard abdomen that sent her mind racing. However, she was able to calm it and did realize he could've had someone over so when they arrived she apologized, "thanks again and, um, I'm really sorry if I took you away from someone."

Steve just told her not to worry and gave her upper arm a little squeeze before saying, "get some sleep," with a soft, caring smile.

* * *

Steve knew she would be tired the next day, so he bought her coffee and a muffin and left it on her desk in his classroom. When she walked in, still the first student in the door, she indeed looked exhausted and he was almost tempted to ask whether she stayed up finishing homework when she could've just used the extension, but didn't. It felt a bit too personal to be initiating a show of concern like that and even though they were what he would consider friends, he didn't want to call her out or make her feel bad or worried about anything more.

When Natasha saw the coffee and food she looked at him and quirked an eyebrow up in a silent question but he just shrugged innocently, hoping his acting skills were as good as he thought. "I left to go make copies and came back and it was just there.. I almost took a bite but then thought better of it," he added on at the end.

She just narrowed her eyes and smiled knowingly, in an "I know you're lying" way, before rolling her eyes and taking a swig of the coffee and bite of the muffin and softly moaning in surprise "mmmmm" at how good it tasted. He looked up from his desk and watched in amusement even while a light blush appeared on his cheeks and neck. She smiled brightly before taking another huge bite, causing him to chuckle at the sight, shaking his head before going back to whatever he was doing.

Other students started to file in and Natasha got out her school stuff, ready to begin, while Steve got up and started writing on the board about today's lesson. One of the girls next to Natasha, Sharon she thinks her name is, leaned over and whispered about what a great view it was - eyes motioning to Steve's ass - and Natasha almost choked on her muffin in half-shock half-laughter. He predictably turned around and asked if she was okay…well in a manner of sorts. He _actually_ said, "don't die on us yet Ms Romanoff, the day is only just beginning," making the class laugh while he locked his gaze with Natasha's with a grin and a sparkle in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you thought! again, sorry for being away for so long but hope this was somewhat worth it. I am starting a new job tomorrow so updates will probably be just on weekends now, unless I find time during the week to write. hopefully I do because I have so so many ideas! But those might have to wait. Anyway, thanks for following along!


	6. Growing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!!!!!!!! I am SO sorry I feel like I've been gone forever. Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed and subscribed and given me love. You keep me going <3 Here is another chapter that hopefully makes up for the time away. Enjoy!

At some point, Natasha started to notice more things about Steve, just in a friendly way - or so she told herself. She sometimes lost herself just in observing him, like the way his eyebrow creases when he's grading a student's paper, like he really cared about what his pupil was saying. And how when he swallows his Adam's apple bobbles aggressively. And when she got close, like when he would reach around her to open the door, she could smell him and what she inhaled was a mixture of pine wood and plain soap, a masculine scent she found altogether dizzying as it seemed to surround her.

And she was not alone in this — never alone. See, Steve noticed things about her without even realizing he was doing it... like how she twirls her hair and plays with her pencil between her lips and bites on it when she is reading or working out a thought. And how her hair smells like gardenia and lilac and shines when the light hits it as it bounces with her every movement. He thought of how her movements are so fluid, and suddenly he found himself flashing back to the way her body - yes, _hers_ \- moved and enraptured him that fateful night.

And that's where his brain caught up to his mind and went into attack mode - how dare he think that way, to reduce her to that. No. What the hell was wrong with him! Stop noticing these things. God why was he even noticing them in the first place, even if half consciously. No no no. Do not even go there. The end. Period.

But that only lasted for so long and really he was helpless to stop it because she filled up his senses and seemed to be everywhere at all times. Steve was still Steve, though, and while maybe he couldn't stop the thoughts, he most definitely could control and prohibit his actions. It was a good thing, too, because as the holidays grew nearer they started meeting outside of class and on weekends for one-on-one help.

Natasha's work schedule got busier because people started feeling lonelier the closer it got to December, but she was not about to let her grades fall. Mr. Rogers offered help, so she would take it. And once again, Steve was reminded of Natasha's occupation and felt a bit of sadness and pity, but also knew what he said was true — it was smart of her to choose this and of course he wants her to keep her body private and treasured, but who is he to say that this isn't what makes her feel that way.

Anyway, they met up one weekend at the library and it was great actually — Natasha got to ask him questions as she came across them and Steve could get some extra reading time in. At some point in the afternoon, when they had been there for a few hours already, Natasha came across something in her book that she was confused by, so naturally she asked Steve for clarification. He, too, was confused just based on what she explained to him verbally. so he asked, "can I see exactly what you're talking about?"

He leaned forward to see what Natasha was looking at just as she slid the book forward to show him, and when she looked up at him waiting for him to read and respond, she realized how close they were. It didn't register in her mind that she moved forward along with the book and before she even had the chance to move back, Steve looked down at her and they were both registered immobile for a moment.

There was a pause, barely even the sound of breathing as they studied each other's eyes, before Steve forced his gaze back to the book; then Natasha could breathe a little better and regained enough control of her body to sit back into her chair.

Finally, he answered her question. It helped but she only hummed her acknowledgement and kept her eyes low because she could feel his still on her. To Natasha, it felt like it lasted forever, but it was only just a moment until it felt like Steve stopped searching her face for whatever he was looking for. So, she went back to reading but ended up calling it quits because she just couldn't get her mind to focus anymore and left feeling off, like something weird had just happened…

* * *

But with a little bit of time and space away from him, she was able to shake it off and put her teacher and that strange moment out of her mind. After that, things went back to pretty much normal with their daily meetings and class and weekend meet-ups. They both had increasingly more things to do and think about, so that helped distract them from thoughts of each other. They were definitely friends, which is why it was totally normal and good and fine when they saw each other out at a restaurant one night.

Natasha was with her family, out to dinner, when the door opened and she looked up to see none other than Mr. Rogers walk in with a woman on his arm. Their eyes met across the room and his smile faltered for a minute before it returned with gusto, this time directed only at Natasha. She couldn't help but smile back, and as Steve and his date were seated, she looked down to her lap with a shy smile on her face. An hour went by and by this point Natasha had noticed where Steve was sitting and he had kept track of her, too, throughout the evening.

Suddenly, in all the hustle and bustle of a restaurant-style birthday celebration, a slew of waiters came out of the kitchen with a slice of cake topped with a candle and ended at Natasha's table. Steve of course couldn't help but follow the commotion, as did everyone else in the restaurant, and when the waiter placed the cake in front of a suddenly very shy and blushing Natasha, his interest peaked and smile only grew more.

Natasha left with her family not long after that, keeping her head down and purposefully avoiding eye contact with Steve as she walked out. He let her go without trying too hard to get her attention, knowing because their friendship was solid that she probably knew what he was thinking anyway… so he turned his attention to the woman sitting across from him as he did realize his mind had been elsewhere that evening and he hadn't been the most present date.

Later that night, as Natasha got into bed, she picked up her phone to set her alarm and, sure enough, opened it to see a text from Steve.

_Happy Birthday :) (PARTY POPPER EMOJI, BIRTHDAY CAKE EMOJI)_   _\- Steve_

She didn't respond but smiled at his dorkiness and fell asleep, dreaming of their antics that night. The next morning when Natasha showed up to class, she found a little blueberry muffin on her desk with a candle in the center and a scratcher ticket with a note that read _"Make a wish."_ She looked around and no one was anywhere to be found, but she just _knew_ that it was Steve. When he walked into class a few minutes before it started and the corners of his mouth turned up when he found her eyes among all his students, her theory was confirmed.

* * *

The holidays came and went, with more one-on-one time and even a few little celebrations and get-togethers between the two of them over break. See, Steve realized after a series of repeated events that Natasha did not have many people in her life. Her parents were often gone and Clint, who was her closest friend besides Steve, was spending increasingly more time with his girlfriend. So since he didn't have much of a social life himself, he made it his mission to be there for Natasha.

Of course, that meant they got more comfortable with each other and as they really got to know each other, Natasha got to know just how easy it was to tease her teacher and well, she was just the kind of person that got a kick out of that. So naturally, over that period of time, there were an increased number of flirty comments made — mostly by Natasha because, well, he just insisted on wearing those ridiculous white shirts so often and jeans that rode low enough that if he lifted his arms she could see the V of his hip bones and it's just so fun. Still, though, they were friends first.

One day, she wasn't even trying! She said something that she meant totally innocently but she forgot chapstick that day so her lips were chapped so she kept licking them to ease the uncomfortable feeling. That meant her lips were red and shiny, and Steve's mind was apparently already there because they were just talking about some school event she was setting up and all she said was "I tried blowing, but it didn't do anything!" She was talking about balloons but Steve immediately choked on air and started coughing while a deep blush started on his cheeks and neck.

Natasha was confused at his reaction so her eyes widened but then also darkened a little at the realization of where his mind went. Plus she was tracking his deepening blush and as it spread under his shirt she wondered whether he was a full body blusher. He definitely seemed like one. So Natasha, being Natasha, made it her secret mission to do little things just to try to find out. And hey, if some unintended consequence were to happen — like him pushing her up against a wall and kissing her senseless because she had him so worked up — she wouldn't really complain… but that's a thought for another time.

Another day when Natasha's mind ran down this path was, again, when something rather insignificant happened. They were in his office and he was working on something that he was stuck on, and she, as TA, helped him and came up with a really creative solution. Steve was honestly impressed by her skills and high-fived her in a rush of joy and pride. In that moment, staring into his eyes, Natasha was struck by a strong desire to grab onto his hand, lace their fingers together, and pull him down for a kiss - and WHOA okay, THAT'S a thought that just happened. Slightly terrified by her own mind, Natasha forcefully snapped herself out of it and made an extreme effort to keep things normal. Yes they playfully flirted before and honestly he was a _specimen_ and she wasn't lying when she said she wouldn't object to him kissing her, but she wasn't expecting to actively get such a strong urge to do something about it herself.

From that point on, there was a dedicated effort on Natasha's part to keep those thoughts at bay and just be friends. They started their own little book club, he helped with her scholarship application essays, they sometimes ate lunch together, they went to a few movies and even one day of a music festival when Steve's cousin bailed. He picked her up from work a few more times and took her to Denny's at 2am just because he knew she would be hungry. They sent each other links to interesting articles and TED talks and shared the local faculty and student gossip over ice cream on Friday afternoons. He became the person she went to when she encountered problems or rejections, and whom she rejoiced with when she got good news. For Steve, Natasha became his guide to the city and who he turned to for advice, random facts, and deep conversations. They pretty much became the mature, intellectual, adult version of two kids who are just peas in a pod.

It was a good thing they had going, so of course, as all good things go, it had to end sometime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo that's that! Heading up the story arc now so hang in there! Hopefully I'm feeding you enough cute moments to ease the slow burn :) Let me know what you thought!
> 
> Also - random side notes that I feel like I HAVE to share with you all ...  
> 1\. I have read a LOT of Nat-loves-Steve's-beard fics p much since the trailer was released and I just read this from Buzzfeed and I literally feel like she could've written it lol https://www.facebook.com/BuzzFeed/posts/10157719088690329
> 
> 2\. a few nights ago my mom was taking this BuzzFeed quiz on which IW character you are and she was trying to get Cap and when she got to the question about who you want to make out with she goes “do you think he wants to make out with black widow?”  
> and it was almost comical how i stopped, looked up from my phone, and was just calmly like “yeah, probably.” but inside i was like OMFG HOLD THE PHONE THIS IS MY TIME TO SHINE THANK YOU BUZZFEED
> 
> 3\. I randomly re-watched the trailer for Civil War today and EVEN IN IT they show Nat and Steve together !!!!!! there's no getting away from it! It's a thing!!!!!!!
> 
> 4\. I feel like this doesn't even need to be said bc everyone knows it but - Chris and Scarlett's friendship is sickeningly cute. Like I know a lot of people want them to be together and sure that would be great but honestly I just think they are the best pair of best friends I've ever seen. I actually have some mini-fics running around in my head just about their friendship so we'll see if that ever turns into anything.
> 
> Ok that's all I'm done! If you read this far you're awesome lol I think I just have held this stuff in for so long and you guys are the only people I can let it out with so thanks. New chapter should be up next week - if people want it. Hope life is treating you all well!


	7. Celebrating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the universe must maintain balance.. karma, yin/yang, whatever you want to call it... something really really good must most always be followed by something, well, pretty bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so much for your kudos and reviews and just.. reading. it really helps me keep going especially when lately life has been kinda rough so, thank you. let's get right into it.

Natasha was aware of something different inside her when she thought about Steve. She was aware enough to consciously squash it down and ignore it. Sometimes the thoughts came unbidden, imagining Steve there with her doing whatever she was doing — even if it was something as simple as watching TV or folding laundry.

Maybe she was lonely but maybe they had just gotten so close that she was used to being around him and actually _liked_ being around him and found herself lacking something when she wasn't with him. It made sense, when she thought about it logically, but that didn't mean that longing went away.

So her subconscious prompted her to stay later at school, hanging out in his office because that's where she laughed and felt comfortable and was able to just forget about everything else for a little while. She could count on one hand the number of people she was able to say she trusted, who really _knew_ her, and Steve was one of them.

It was somewhat surprising as she looked back — really, who expects their teacher to become one of their closest friends? No matter how unexpected it might have been, Natasha was so so grateful to have him.

That was one of the big reasons she pushed those thoughts down as soon as she noticed them — they were a show of how selfish she was, thinking about having more than the wonderful situation she was already in, and she valued her friendship with Steve too much to even entertain ideas about something else.

So the conscious decision was made and after that, Natasha carried on as usual, or, at least, she thought she was. Her actions were influenced by that deep-seated un-named thing but in the end it didn't matter because everything just improved her friendship with Steve. She spent more time with him at school, of course, but even when she was home or elsewhere, she found reasons to text him, looking for funny videos or interesting articles just to have something to converse with him about.

Steve was… not oblivious, of course, but… he — in his mind he reconciled what was happening with the rationalization of it all being in the name of friendship. So maybe at some point their closeness gave him pause, but because he didn't really want to stop anything, he, too, pushed it away fairly quickly.

He did, though, make a concerted effort to otherwise occupy his romantic life by entering back into the dating game. Obviously Natasha knew this, from her birthday dinner a couple weeks ago, but they hadn't explicitly talked about it because of, you know … the thing.

Steve was still drawn in more and more to Natasha's life, and voluntarily so.

He was happier than he could remember for a long time when he was with her, and though he had effectively convinced himself it was all just friendship, he unknowingly found himself of the same mindset as Natasha. He kept his weekends and evenings free, with her subconsciously in mind, and didn't notice how his eyes always lit up when he received any sort of communication from her. He admired her greatly and felt blessed with her friendship.

His foray into relationships again, contrary to what one might think, did not do much to diminish the amount of time the two spent together and the depth of the connection they shared — it was too strong.

* * *

Fast forward to the middle of April, when Natasha had heard back from schools and scholarship funds and had just about made her decision — Georgetown or NYU, depending on her parents, so life was calming down and she was cruising through her last couple months of high school.

It happened — well, not _it_ but _something_ — the Friday after it's announced she will be valedictorian. The whole school had received the notice, including Steve, so when she came into his office the next afternoon, he stood up in excitement to congratulate her.

"Congrats, Nat! I heard about valedictorian! Here, this is for you." He gathered her in a hug then pulled away and eagerly offered her a tiny box wrapped with a bow. She looked up at him questioningly.

"Take it, take it," he said with a laugh as he pushed the gift more towards her.

Natasha took the gift and looked back up at him and Steve just seemed so proud and he got her this little gift and he was so excited … so she opened it right in front of him. She slowly pulled it out and gasped when she realized what it was.

"Steve —" she looked up at him stunned and with adoration and gratitude in her features — "you shouldn't have."

In her hands was a charm bracelet with just one charm on it so far — a graduation cap with her initials engraved in the center.

Steve took it, placed it around her left wrist, and fastened the clamp to keep it in place, then smiled down at her and responded simply, "you deserve it."

Natasha was irrepressibly touched and overcome with feelings of warmth and like someone really truly cared about her for who she wanted to be seen as, so in a serene moment of care and gratitude, she reached up and pecked Steve on the cheek.

She didn't even really care that she just did that — in fact, it didn't phase her at all. She was caught up in the warmth and pride flowing out of him and as she came back down to have her feet flat again, she wrapped her right arm around Steve's torso and buried her head in his chest, hugging him tightly in thanks and affection.

In response, Steve's right arm went to wrap around Natasha's midsection as he hugged her back and planted a kiss atop her head.

And then it's like a ray of sunshine spread through the room, filling the whole environment with that tingly warmth and, at long last, a sense of peace. The thoughts of what this might mean did not even cross their minds — it was just a moment of happiness, frozen in time.

Eventually, Natasha pulled back and rested her hand on Steve's bicep; he loosened his grip, letting his arm slide to her waist as she backed away slightly. Natasha looked up at him, eyes shimmering and a genuine smile gracing her features.

"Thank you," she said with sincerity. She couldn't have done this without his patience and help and support.

He smiled down at her fondly, thumb idly brushing her hip where it rested. "You are very welcome."

As he spoke, he stared straight into her eyes. She could see something and feel something as she looked into his, like he was peering directly into her soul. Her heart started beating faster as she unknowingly leaned forward, as if she was in a daze.

Steve lost himself in Natasha's eyes and felt his heart start to pick up speed and a slightly uncomfortable tingle spread its way through his chest as he leaned forward slowly as well.

However, he realized then what he was doing and stopped, abruptly pulling his hand off of her and stepping away, as though she was fire and he had just been burned.

At the sudden loss of contact, Natasha's brain became aware again and she shook her head to clear the haze that had apparently fallen over her.

When she realized what almost just happened, her mouth opened slightly in stunned silence. Her cheeks flushed and she had the decency to look embarrassed before attempting to apologize, albeit slowly.

"I'm sorry, um," she really didn't know what to say and she was beginning to get choked up with a flood of embarrassment, self-disgust and other emotions leftover that she didn't want to address.

"Oh my god. I'm _so_ sorry Steve. _Fuck_ \- I should go." She quickly gathered her things and made for the door.

Steve, who had become frozen again in shock, reliving that moment, after initially pulling away, regained his motor functions and placed his hand on the doorknob to open it for her before running his other hand through his hair with a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, Natasha," and he really did sound sorrowful.

But Natasha couldn't meet his eyes and so with another shaky sigh he opened the door and, on her way out, she took off the bracelet that he'd fixed on her wrist earlier.

"Here uh, you probably should go get your money back." She held the bracelet out to him but she could feel her eyes begin to brim with unshed tears so her gaze never left the floor.

Steve shook his head, mouth opening to object before recognizing that he wouldn't get through to her unless he said it looking her in the eyes… so he used his left hand to lift her chin until their eyes met, then spoke.

"No, Natasha. I am still proud of you. I still want you to have this. I'm.. sorry for that little thing but I can _promise_ it won't happen again and - we can go back to normal!" He sounded almost hopeful by the time he was done speaking.

"I don't know, St - Mr. Rogers…"

"Come on! I can't leave my favorite student to her own devices right at the end of it all… what if she needs my help?"

"That's sweet but .. I think I'll be fine so um, here you go and, I'll see you in class."

Before he could even move Natasha had dropped the bracelet into his hand and gone out the door. Steve knew he'd tried his hardest but she clearly needed time and space, so he didn't chase after her. He knew better than to do that. That didn't mean he wouldn't stress about where they stood or be miserable without her.

Steve plopped into his chair with a sigh, aggressively running his hand through his hair and tensely muttering, "fucking hell."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry :( plz yell at me if you want.


	8. Resuming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is not a perfect world but that doesn't mean everything has to be horrible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ty for continuing to read and review! good things coming soon - i promise. anyway, let's continue.

The whole weekend went bye with radio silence from Natasha, and Steve didn't want to push her so there was silence from his end, as well.

She did come to class on Monday but she sat in the back of the room and didn't look up from her desk once. When class was over, she rushed out with her classmates, purposefully getting lost in the crowd.

It continued like this every day for the whole week. She didn't treat him coldly or with any negative undertone, but rather with distance and indifference. She only spoke when she felt she needed to, and with the utmost professionalism. He was simply her teacher and that's how she interacted with him.

Somehow, that was even worse than if she were expressively mad at him. At least then they'd be on speaking terms.

Steve had, on Wednesday, tried to at least make her smile by putting a funny sticker on the paper he handed back. He swore he saw a little flicker and her head tilt up for once but their eyes just missed each other and then she packed up and left.

On Thursday, Natasha looked as if she was about to go up to his desk after class and ask him something, probably because she really did need help with the material, but when she finally decided to, she turned and saw Steve occupied with Lorraine, who was clearly flirting with him.

Natasha instantly erased all emotion from her features, went back to her seat, quickly grabbed her backpack, and left. Steve noticed the sudden movement and peered around just in time to see a flash of red hair hastily walking out the door.

He sighed and turned back to the student who _was_ speaking to him. "I think it's about time for your next class, Lorraine. I wouldn't want you to be late and I have to get to a meeting anyway, so how about you come to my office hours if you have more questions after school?"

Honestly Steve was just trying to get rid of her — he felt bad but he didn't have the patience for her energy right now. But Lorraine was overjoyed at the prospect of getting more time with him and thankfully agreed and left with a smile on her face. Steve knew Natasha wouldn't be coming anyway, so he might as well devote some time to his other students, for once.

He wasn't wrong. Natasha once again didn't show up and Lorraine seemed over the moon, so he was happy he could at least make someone else happy that day. However he did not get much work done, so he stayed even later that night and, not for the first time that week, wished Natasha was there.

He stretched back in his chair after sitting and grading for a while and rolled his neck and that was when he spotted it — her bracelet, right where he'd left it on top of a book in his bookcase. He retrieved it and made it his mission to get through to her tomorrow.

He wouldn't go another weekend or possibly week with this weird status of their relationship — it might be right and proper on paper, but it didn't _feel_ right.

When Natasha walked into Steve's classroom the next morning, she found another little surprise on her desk that reminded her of her birthday those many months ago. This time, though, it was in a box and as more students filed in, she opened it, gasping softly when she saw what was inside — the bracelet she'd returned to Steve now almost a week ago.

She took it out of the box and as she did so found a note that read - 'You've got a friend in me.' A tear came to the corner of eye and a breathy laugh left her before she could stop it because he _remembered_.

Her mind flashed back to a few weeks ago when they had been talking about favorite movies, then favorite Disney movies, and it turned out that for both of them, it was Toy Story. At that realization, they jumped into song and laughed their hearts out when the silliness of the whole thing caught up to them.

They had sung that cheesy song and at that pure, happy memory, Natasha lifted her eyes to find Steve and … she wasn't really sure.. say something? Smile at him? Either way, she found him sitting in his chair with his head down, focusing on something on his desk though she _knew_ she'd felt eyes on her just moments before.

Indeed she was correct. Steve had been watching Natasha's reaction the whole time and less than a minute prior had turned away because he'd been relatively satisfied that he'd gotten through to her and he didn't want other students to notice his staring.

If he had continued watching her just a little while longer they could've reached some unspoken understanding right then and there but alas, it was a missed opportunity.

It didn't matter much though, because both Natasha's mind and her heart were decided - how could she turn away from her friend?

Class went by like normal and Natasha left again without speaking to him or, as far as Steve knew, even looking at him. Steve, who had regained hope after his earlier observations, was now at the point of giving up.

He thought to himself that it was selfish of him anyway to want her back in his life.. if he really cared about her he would do and be what she wanted, what would make her happy and comfortable.

So he would take the weekend to get over himself, heal, and prepare to be the type of person he would need to be for her come Monday - teacher and nothing more.

The end of the day arrived and Steve had already lost all his energy though it was only 2 pm. He opened his office door, head in space, and looked up only to find Natasha sitting cross-legged on his desk. All he could do was stare in surprise.

* * *

"Hi," she said softly, with her lips just turned up in the hint of a smile. Her chin was tilted downward so to look at him she had to peer up through her eyelashes, which she unconsciously batted as she waited for him to say something.

It took Steve a moment for the slight shock to wear off, then he responded, seemingly amazed at her presence, "Hi …"

She smirked even as she ducked her head shyly. She played with her hands where they rested in her lap as she continued practicing patience.

She heard a throat being cleared, like someone was snapping themselves out of a dazed moment, and looked back up to find Steve now fully alert. His smile was wide and his eyes shone with excitement, until a flash of caution seemed to run through him and he became unsure, off balanced.

"Is this, are you, are we -"

"Okay? Yeah," she nodded as she continued to speak gently, as if not to scare him off, "We are friends, are we not?"

Feeling more certain of himself and the situation now, Steve's expression transitioned back to one of what could only be described as elation.

"See! I knew it! We _are_ friends, Natasha. Isn't this normal? We can so be normal!" His words came out quickly from the adrenaline and excitement newly rushing through his veins.

She rolled her eyes and chuckled at his puppy dog eyes and eager smile, and she thought maybe everything will be okay.

That's why she came here, right? He's her friend and she respects him and she realized she was being stupid because of one little thing. It was just a moment that, you know, it happens - between friends.

Over the last week, Natasha shook it off… totally natural.. it was, she decided, really nothing to worry about or think on too much or to ruin her daily productivity and happiness over. It was just a thing that happened that means absolutely nothing and she had no reason to be concerned. She found no reason they couldn't go back to normal. Okay - so _tell him!_ her brain shouted at her.

"You know, Mr. Rogers, I just might have to agree with you for once," she said with no real effort to fight against his words at all.

Steve's smile only grew in size and he looked as if he were about to respond in his joy, nearly bouncing off the balls of his feet, but he maintained control of himself at the warning look he received from her.

"Wait - I'm not done. I practiced this!"

He raised his eyebrows in amusement, made the motion of zipping his lips, then held out his hand to tell her to continue.

Natasha gave him a playful look before continuing, "I have really missed our conversations and jokes and learning from you this past week… and I'm really sorry for being a cold-hearted bitch to you because you didn't deserve that. What happened obviously we both know was _not_ a good idea - in fact," she laughed now, "it was pretty ridiculous if you think about it. … Anyway, you were right — about both things — I really did need your help, and we definitely can just go back to normal. And I want to, if you do."

He waited, making sure she was done.

"That's it, I'm done," she informed him with what sounded like a mixture between a laugh and a sigh of relief.

_Now_ he launched himself at her — embracing her in a tight hug, making her laugh before hugging him back. They stayed that way for a short time before Steve pulled back in his excitement but held onto her upper arms as he finally used his words. "I do want to, Nat. I completely understand; all is forgiven… I'm just happy and ready to go!"

She laughed softly thinking again of their crazy silly reactions and in equal giddiness at the feeling of revival and belonging that everyone longs to feel.

"Okay, then it's settled then. Friends," she declared, looking up at him with a grin.

Steve grinned right back at her. "Friends," he confirmed.

"Well, on that note - I do have some stuff to do before work today so I gotta head home but maybe I'll see you this weekend? If you have time, I really do need some help with the material from this week.."

Steve didn't hesitate, "absolutely! Same place, same time tomorrow as always?"

"Yeah, that would be great," she responded earnestly and softly, wanting to let him know with her tone that she really was grateful and relieved and happy to be back as friends again.

"Okay! Then I will see you tomorrow morning, my friend." His enthusiasm oozed through his voice and manifested itself in his very pleased smile and bright eyes.

Natasha hopped off his desk, grabbed her backpack, and patted Steve's arm on her way out. With a little grin, "see you tomorrow, Mr. Rogers."

"Ma'am." He tipped an imaginary hat at her and Natasha rolled her eyes, smiling at her dorky teacher and, when she was out of the room, her mind betrayed her as she thought _"god damn, how does every single thing that comes out of that man's mouth manage to sound so sexy?"_

And that's how she knew it would never be normal, but lord help her she would try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mwaAHAHAHAHA I told you! SLOOOOW BURN
> 
> also I graduated college yesterday yay! :) that's why this is up so late.. just got back a few hours ago. anyway, hope you enjoyed maybe? let me know your thoughts/feelings/dreams/aspirations!


	9. Smiling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is basically some ridiculous fluff and i love it; also, (I think) Clint is a good bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so SO much for continuing to read and to my reviewers - your words keep me inspired, keep me going. thank you, from the bottom of my heart. here's to you.. you know who you are. Also, I had this all ready to post and then this first scene wouldn't leave me alone and then I spent an intermittent 6 hours writing it so apologies for this installment being rather late. I hope you enjoy!

 

Natasha and Steve had made silent vows to themselves to act towards the other only as friends would. Luckily they had that kind of deep friendship that how they were friends was versatile — they went back to teasing jokes quite easily and a short time later, they were able to rekindle their intellectual and honest conversations.

Only, now they had to conform to these unwritten, unspoken rules in their interactions. It was easy, falling back into the routine of school and seeing each other every day and just being in each other's presence, but they both had to make an effort to keep everything on the up and up. It wasn't quite like walking on eggshells — there was still more freedom felt than that — but they had to try, and at least Natasha recognized that in herself.

And try she did, try they both did, but see the "normal" they were talking about seems to have never really existed. Because they used to talked about now-deemed "AVOID" topics and joked rather innocently but still on objectively inappropriate subject matter. So those continued to some extent because that was what they did before… but now, at least for Natasha because she was so hyperaware of herself around Steve, there was an acknowledgment that that wasn't totally normal. Thus their continuance of it made her aware of an undercurrent of something she couldn't ignore, try as she might.

Steve, for his part, tried valiantly to be normal - for her sake as well as his. But she just made it so damn difficult. And he didn't even think she knew! Of course, he would never ever do anything, but he was only a man after all. He couldn't help but follow her lips as she spoke and stare at her as she leaned forward to write notes during his class. And the way she smiled when she understood something or received praise or he told a particularly lame but funny joke got to him in ways he didn't want to admit. Ways that meant in every interaction he was careful, but couldn't stop the feeling of a rush of water spreading across his chest every time they met eyes. And he knew nothing was so innocent and normal after all when he could feel her eyes on him as he put on his jacket and rode out of the parking lot on his motorcycle.

They ran into each other at the movie theatre one night and both were so internally so grateful they were back on good terms. They were walking down the hallway each with another person when Steve looked up from the woman he was on a date with and found none other than Natasha Romanoff walking towards him, though unaware as she was engrossed in conversation with who Steve recognized as Clint Barton.

He called out to her, caught up in the excitement of seeing his friend out in public, momentarily forgetting about the woman on his arm. It was Clint who looked up first, nudging Natasha when he saw who had called her name. She looked up and followed in the direction Clint had nodded.

She met Steve's bright eyes from across the way and her lips immediately turned into a pure, happy grin. Her gaze flicked over to the woman on Steve's arm, taking her in before turning back to Steve. He noticed that she looked less visibly excited, more deep in thought now, and apparently so did Clint because he turned to whisper something in her ear that made her face turn a light shade of red all over. She met Steve's eyes again, this time with their normal friendliness and sparkle back in place. Now Natasha was walking towards Steve with more purpose, arm looped through Clint's, dragging him along, too.

As Steve watched her walk towards him, his excitement and smile grew. He took her in as she came to stand in front of him — she tucked her hair behind her ear before peering up at him with a shining smile. "Hi, Mr. Rogers!"

Steve knew then that she was playing it a little more professional, and he would absolutely follow her lead, but she had slipped out of Clint's embrace and leaned towards Steve so he did let go of his date's hand to say hello.

"Hey Natasha," he wrapped her in a one-armed hug that was tight enough but looked strictly professional to the outsider. The embrace was brief and he pulled away to turn to her counterpart. "Clint," he nodded and shook the teenager's hand.

"Hey, Mr. Rogers," Clint said in his usual friendly, laid-back tone. "And...?" He looked pointedly towards the woman on Steve's right.

"Oh! Clint, Natasha, this is Kristen. Kristen, these are some of my students!" He moved his hand between the parties in an introductory manner.

"He forgot the adjective of _best_ students... some AP Lit teacher," Natasha teased as she reached out to shake the woman's hand. "I'm Natasha," she said pleasantly.

"Kristen, hi," the woman spoke politely and shook Natasha's hand, though not without a flash of something dangerous in her eyes. Natasha took a slow step back and felt a light touch on her back as Clint took her place, all smiles and charm as he reached out a hand, "Hi, I'm Clint Barton, it's a pleasure to make the acquaintance of such a beautiful woman," he said with a playful but harmless wink.

As Clint was speaking to Kristen, Steve made sure to catch Natasha's eye and when he did, a wave of relief came over Natasha and she let go of everything, smiling at him as she broke through her confusion and whatever other feelings were clouding her mind. Steve took that as a sign and spoke after Clint had made them all chuckle and stepped back. "Best, huh?" Steve goaded Natasha over her earlier comment, "where on earth did you get that idea?"

Natasha looked up in mock-surprise. Steve mirrored her expression for a second before laughing and waving his hand, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He turned to Kristen, "they really are the best," he swiveled back and smiled sweetly at the pair (mostly Natasha) for a moment before turning his attention back to his date.

"Well, should we head in?" Kristen questioned, internally wanting to get out of there as soon as possible, to get alone with Steve finally. But alas, things did not seem to be going her way, as Steve nodded almost in dismissal and directed another question to Natasha and Clint.

"What movie are you guys seeing?"

Natasha responded with the movie title and it turned out they were seeing the same. So naturally, Steve followed up eagerly with, "do you want to sit together?"

Before Natasha or Kristen could say anything, Clint jumped in, "heck yeah! I wanna see the great Mr. Rodger's reaction to the rated R bits," he nudged Natasha, who just rolled her eyes before casually replying, "yeah, fine with me."

"Great!" Steve checked his watch. "Previews should be starting so let's head in, if you're all ready?"

The group nodded and into the theatre they went. When they sat, Kristen went first, making sure to be next to no one but Steve, which means Steve followed her, then Natasha, then Clint. They sat through half the movie before Steve felt his stomach growl and Natasha and Clint ran out of popcorn. Steve whispered that he was going to get some food and Natasha quickly sprang into motion, whispering "wait, I'll come with you," grabbing the empty popcorn tub from Clint and following Steve out.

The two walked swiftly out of the theatre and when they were back in the hallway, started laughing really at nothing as they headed towards the snack bar. They moved in comfortable silence and when they got in the slow-moving line, Natasha took the opportunity to ask him some questions that have been burning on her mind since she saw him. She whirled around to face him and got right into it.

"So. Kristen," she prompted with a mischievous smirk.

Steve laughed softly and rubbed a hand on the back of his neck as a light blush stained his cheeks. "Yeah, I mean, this is just our first date…"

"Hmm.. been having a lot of those lately?" Natasha was thinking of the woman she saw him with at her birthday dinner and, honestly, he was just so fun to tease.

Steve answered honestly, "yeah." Natasha arched an eyebrow and her eyes widened slightly. Steve seemed to realize how what he said could be construed and spluttered, "I mean! Oh god, no I don't mean.. I'm not that kind of guy. We've just done dinner and movies, little things like this! Oh my god.." he trailed off in embarrassment, hiding his face in his hands.

Natasha took pity on him and let up, pulling his hands down so he could see her being sincere now. "I'm just giving you a hard time. Seriously, I'm happy for you, Steve. She seems .. nice…" At the last word, she let go of his hands and her voice strained a little and Steve gave her a pointed look.

"She made a good first impression!" Her voice still sounded like she was trying to convince herself.

"Nat, she's _not_ that great. You're sweet for trying to be nice, but, come on." He laughed a little.

Nat gave him a sheepish look before chuckling, as well, then grin turning open and brighter. "Well phew! I'm glad you see that. I mean, Steve, she was acting like she wanted to devour you or some weird shit. She's too much. I don't want her looking at you like you're hers or a piece of meat…"

Steve chuckled at her outrage and revealing facial expressions. As Natasha was talking the line began to move, and she was still facing him though standing in front of him in line, so Steve placed his right hand lightly on her waist to guide her forward. As they approached the order stand he reassured her, "don't worry, Nat, I'm not as oblivious as I may seem. And thank you for your concern," he said sincerely but covered up with a playful wink.

He turned Natasha to face the teenager behind the counter and they placed their orders, Steve grabbing Natasha's popcorn bucket and placing it up for the kid to grab. As he was filling their orders, Natasha huffed and turned back to face Steve. "I'm just glad we're missing the steamy parts. I do _not_ need to be in the room with her and you as that's happening on screen."

She looked positively disturbed by the idea and Steve let out an uncontrollable deep, full, laugh that lasted a long while. As the employee returned with their snacks, Steve's laugh finally started dying out and he breathed out some last chuckles as he leaned down to drop a kiss to the top of Natasha's head, still smiling all the while. She could feel his breath as he laughed and at the chaste feeling of his lips on the crown of her head, she oddly wasn't phased much… it didn't even register.

Natasha was caught up in an overwhelming feeling of happiness and she just couldn't stop smiling, Steve's laughter was contagious and this random little event made her feel for once as young as she actually was. She took the re-filled popcorn bucket from the worker still smiling so much she probably looked _stupid_ , but it was all just so easy, it was like breathing. The most natural feeling in the world was being in moments like that with him… so natural that it didn't sink in at all.

The two headed back to the theatre and when Kristen fake-politely hissed/whispered to ask Steve what took them so long, they just glanced at each other and almost burst out laughing again were it not for their _exemplary_ self-control (and the glorious existence and role of teeth to hold lips into silence).

* * *

About a week after they'd made up, Steve was in his office eating lunch when his door opened and in popped Natasha's head.

"Hey - can I come in?"

Steve arched an eyebrow in interest. "Sure, yeah," he motioned for Natasha to enter.

"Thanks." She slipped in and quickly shut the door behind her, leaning against it with a sigh of relief. She closed her eyes for a brief moment to regain her composure and when she opened them again, found Steve peering at her in a silent question.

"Ahhh … yeah," she pushed off from the door and headed for the chair on the other side of his desk, "so... - you know Bruce Banner, right?" Steve nodded, still confused.

"Well. He came to the club last night, I guess he finally turned 18…" Steve's eyes grew at the realization of what that meant but Natasha hastily clarified one thing " — I wasn't working," Steve looked relieved.

"I know - thank _god_. .. but one of my coworkers overheard him say my name so I guess she listened closer and he was telling his friends he wanted to ask me to prom! Prom, Steve! I don't even really know the guy other than the classes we've had together over the years. I mean, I feel bad, but I am just so not interested… so anyway he's after me and I'm trying to avoid him and the cafeteria would have been a very poor place to attempt that so — here I am." She flashed Steve a sheepish grin as she finished.

Steve laughed at her breathlessness. "Well, this seems like quite a predicament you're in," Natasha nodded emphatically, causing Steve to chuckle again, "so I _guess_ I can let you stay," he teased with a glimmer in his eyes.

Natasha just smiled and shook her head, then pulled out her lunch. They ate together on the floor and conversed comfortably until the conversation eventually veered back to Bruce. Steve brought him up without malicious intent, but Natasha groaned anyway.

Steve laughed lightly. "You know, I was a high school boy once." Natasha feigned shock; Steve gave her a look.

"I had the absolute most laughable love life - or really, lack thereof. I was skinny and sickly and frail and I knew no girl would ever look at me so I didn't even try. I actually lost a lot of self-confidence from that and even though my mom always reminded me that I had a good heart, that didn't seem to matter. So it kind of just snowballed and I became this really shy, small kid and I would just splutter when any girl talked to me and looking back it's pathetically funny," he laughed at his own self-deprecating humor. "But my point is - maybe you should give the kid a chance! Who knows, maybe he's actually really shy and you could turn his whole self-image around!"

Steve tried to play the 'be a hero' card, nudging her and everything, but Natasha was not having it. She tossed him a look like 'really?'

"But… then again… he _did_ go to a strip club as soon as he turned 18 _and_ he was talking about you to his friends..and the guys at this school really are dicks…"

At that, Natasha stopped eating and sat at attention, so utterly shocked that she just heard that come out of her teacher's mouth. Slowly her features transformed into a smile, wide and disbelieving. Steve noticed her sudden stillness and glanced up and when he did that Natasha couldn't hold in the laughter that had bubbled up inside her any longer. She busted out laughing and it was so contagious that Steve started up, too.

They shared a long, hard laugh, not even just about Steve calling the boys "dicks" but kind of just about everything. It turned into a moment and maybe they both just had the giggles, because every time it died out, one of them would, without meaning to, break out into laughter again. It went on like this for a good few minutes and when it finally did die out, they caught their breath and with smiles still gracing their features, had a kind of out-of-body experience that can only follow those fits of laughter.

They shared a moment of just gazing at each other in pure joy and relaxation, and when Natasha's brain turned back on it registered that Steve was also looking deep into her as she was to him. So she ducked her head and blushed and was about to say something when she was quite literally saved by the bell. It effectively broke the spell and Natasha spoke as she stood up.

"Guess I better go… that's the signal for class." Steve stood up, too, and nodded his understanding.

Natasha turned to face him after she had her backpack on and sent an appreciative smile his way. "Thanks again for letting me hide here."

"Anytime." Steve sounded so genuine that Natasha knew he meant it.

One side of his mouth was pulled up in a warm grin that she couldn't help but return before she headed out the door. Steve gazed after her, the smile never leaving his face.

And for two people who were so smart, they really should've known - things would never be the same.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i met captain america @ disney california adventure finally and I'm pretty sure he was flirting with me it was the most odd intersection of worlds and I felt so weird inside but also warm IDK WHAT HAPPENED it was all around just too weird of an occurrence and I thought you should know. 
> 
> anyway, we're getting cloooooose ;)


	10. Confusing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha is confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so so late! Had a crazy weekend and when I sat down to write last night, a new idea came to me that I had to get out before I could write this. This isn't what I originally had planned, but it kind of developed into it's own thing. So, hope you enjoy. Not much longer now!

Over the following week, Natasha was, she would say, happy. Her time was beginning to free up, and the end of school seemed to be approaching faster each day, though really it was still a month away. She'd managed to avoid Bruce Banner, with the help of Steve, whom she now ate lunch with almost every day, which was an added plus.

She'd started writing her Valedictorian speech, working on it mostly after school when she was 'working' as Steve's TA. That meant it was written in his company, and therefore was a result of his feedback and ideas as much as her own original thoughts.

Natasha also, after being driven around on Steve's motorcycle a few times, really began to love the freedom she felt while riding, and decided she wanted to learn to drive one.

Steve was hesitant for all of 30 seconds when she asked him to teach her, and then agreed with enthusiasm. He was all too happy to teach her something he loved so much. So that was happening and everything at school and yeah okay, all in all, she was spending a lot of time with Steve. But that was just because of the way life was going!

Through all that time, however, Natasha started to notice certain things… like she could feel things coming from him that felt like maybe they should mean something or feel weird somehow but she just … noticed them.

For example, one time she met up with him for Saturday tutoring at his place and when he opened the door, after saying "hey" the very next thing he said was "what does your shirt say?" She was just wearing a black t-shirt that across the chest said the name of her favorite band and since she'd just grabbed whatever was on the top of the pile in her drawer that morning, she had to look down in order to be able to respond to his question. "Oh, The 1975.. it's a band," she explained.

Steve just hummed and nodded in acknowledgement and continued to trail his eyes over her shirt as if he were still trying to figure it out. She just shook her head and pushed on, walking through the door and past him to set her bag down on the table. This caused Steve to chuckle and tease, "by all means, do come in." Natasha stood at the table and tossed a smirk over her shoulder at him. The rest of the day went on normally but later, when Natasha was at home and let her mind wander, it ran back to that moment, and she was struck with major confusion.

Confusion because at first, she didn't really think anything of it… she was even going to tease him about being old and not knowing the band, but didn't. Then, later when her mind went roaming, she realized that if he asked about her shirt, then… didn't that mean he was looking at her chest to begin with? And didn't _that_ obviously mean something important? But then again, maybe it meant nothing and it was all innocent and he wasn't staring at her chest but just honestly looking at the print of her shirt. Still… maybe … UGH, and _this_ was why she was confused now, and didn't sleep well that night.

Another occurrence was when, on Monday, she went into his office after school like normal, walking in without knocking and, while putting away her phone, calling out "Hey St —" stopping short when she looked back up and found him there with an older looking woman — "Mr. Rogers," she corrected, not sure of what the relationship was here and how she should be acting. The pair also paused until Steve jumped into action, motioning for Natasha to come in.

"Natasha, this is my mom. Mom, this is Natasha Romanoff, one of my best students," Steve said with a hint of pride in his voice.

Natasha stepped towards Steve's mother and politely held out her hand. "Hi, Mrs. Rogers, it's so nice to meet you!" She smiled sweetly and Mrs. Rogers returned the handshake and introduction.

"So tell me, how is my son at teaching, _really_?" Mrs. Rogers asked with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

"Oh, well, he…" Natasha looked over at Steve who was now sporting a light blush, "… nobody's perfect, you know?" Natasha finished with a mock sympathetic expression, then a wink, and Mrs. Rogers laughed, sending a warmth into the room that infected Natasha with a smile, too.

Mrs. Rogers turned to Steve, "oh, son, I _like_ her," she said with an enthused grin, clasping her hands together in sudden vigor. Steve returned the smile easily and couldn't help but agree with his mom as he looked at Natasha who had adjusted to the situation so quickly and so well.

"Well I'm sure you two will get along swimmingly," Steve started, "but Natasha you don't have to stay… mom and I are just going to hang out here for a while so I don't have anything for you to do."

"Actually, if it's okay with both of you, I'd love to stay a while. I might have some questions on the homework … and I'm _dying_ to hear stories of young Mr. Rogers," Natasha finished with a wink at her new best friend, Mrs. Rogers.

"Nonsense, dear, we're happy to have you stay."

"Absolutely," Steve echoed with a smile.

So Natasha stayed and did get some work done but mostly engaged in lovely conversation with Mrs. Rogers for the next hour and a half until it was time for the mother/son duo's dinner reservation. In that time, though she was focused on Sarah (she learned Steve's mom's name right after she sat down to stay) and Sarah focused on her as the two were absorbed in discussion, Natasha could feel Steve's eyes focused on her own face for long periods at a time.

And then, to top it all off, the next day Steve made sure to thank Natasha for being so wonderful with his mom and said something bewildering, this time.

He saw her in the morning before class started and they were in the middle of a conversation when suddenly he interrupted a moment of silence, blurting out, "hey, thank you so much for being so great with my mom yesterday" sincerely and with a gentle touch on Natasha's arm.

Natasha brushed him off with a wave of her hand. "Oh, yeah, it was nothing. She's great," she smiled in reminiscence. "I'm just glad I seemed to make a good impression… I was weirdly nervous. I don't really do well with parents," she finished with a shrug.

"What? Seriously?" Steve asked, honestly surprised.

Natasha gave a sheepish grin.

"I don't believe that, Nat. Not for a second. I'm sure that parents - I mean, everyone, for that matter - I'm sure everyone loves you! How can they not, when you have such.. charm…"

Natasha felt her cheeks heating up and dismissed his words, trying to swerve the conversation away from her. "Yeah, well, you're nice, and thank you," she flicked her eyes up to his at that, "but I don't think so."

She could see Steve ready to argue again so she quickly spoke again, "anyway, I'm fine with it. Are you going to that graduation planning meeting at lunch?"

Steve took note of how she was trying to switch the subject, and went along with it as it was what she seemed to want, nodding. "Save me a seat?"

Natasha rolled her eyes before responding, "of course Mr. always-hungry."

"You know what, Romanoff.." Steve mock-threatened with a teasing sparkle in his eyes. Before Natasha could respond, other students began filing into the classroom and the two shared a look that the conversation would be continued another time.

Steve walked back to his desk and Natasha sat down at hers, leaving her time to think while setting out her notebook.

And again, her thoughts turned to what Steve had said.. she apparently had a "charm," but did him saying that mean he liked it, was it purely an observation, but how could it be when it's something that personal? _Uggghhh_ , Natasha let out a groan and buried her face in her hands. Maria, one of Natasha's only trusted friends, noticed and asked if she was okay, which was when Natasha realized she really, really needed to talk to someone about all this, just to get a second opinion and resolve some of the confusion.

However, she never got the opportunity and so it festered. Overnight she dreamt of what it might mean if all of those interactions did have an underlying significance, and she woke up the next morning tense from wondering about it.

For all that, though, it was her interactions with Steve that day that actually calmed her down — the normalcy in each conversation grounded her, without her even realizing it. So she continued her routine as usual, those observations and musings buried deep and forgotten about… but still there, at play in her subconscious and affecting her thoughts and feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo funny story - this is entirely based off stuff that happened to me, and I am still utterly confused to this day... so what do you think? Is this stuff evidence of something underlying? 
> 
> Also I was not planning for Steve's mom to show up but I love Sarah Rogers and I think she's so sneaky and where Steve gets his playfulness and inherent goodness from 100% so anyway, here she is. And sorry for the lack of dialogue if that's your thing! I wrote this just yesterday, while sleepy, and it just wasn't coming to me.. but hopefully future chapters will make up for it.
> 
> As always, please leave your thoughts - I appreciate honesty! 
> 
> And last but definitely not least, I may have a sorta surprise for you guys this week :) For my American friends - Happy 4th!


	11. Kissing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is exactly what you think it is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

Those things Natasha noticed did remain in her subconscious, and for longer than she’d expected. They became so far buried within her that she didn’t even realize they were there, but they were, and they started to influence her actions and conscious decisions. The normalcy did bring her back down, but that just meant that she continued on as before, spending time with Steve, but now with the addition of inner impulses to be more flirtatious and testy with him that came from those previous observations. 

She didn’t even really see that she was doing it… she just spent the same (ok, maybe more) time with him and, to her conscious mind, randomly decided to broach certain subjects and dress, you know, for the warmer weather.

 

So it should've been no surprise when one day she showed up to his office, face set in determination like it did normally when she set out to solve some problems. That day had been particularly warm as summer was approaching in just a few weeks and Natasha had worn a tank top and high waisted shorts with high top converse to school that day, much like many other girls. However Steve only felt the effect when he looked at her, and that should've been a warning sign. 

Her hair was down in soft waves that gave her the look of effortless beauty and grace, in Steve’s opinion. He'd been unable to keep his eyes off her all day and though their interactions had been normal and non sexual, he felt the temperature rising as the hours ticked by. God who had he turned into, lusting after his own student, he was disgusted with himself. He shook it off and told himself he would be normal. Normal normal normal. 

He was in his office giving himself this talking to and it was working, but then Natasha pushed the door open with gusto and made a beeline for his chair. He gulped and his eyes widened before watching her move past him and laying on the floor where his personal fan could hit her. 

She was so comically sprawled out that Steve couldn't stop a laugh from bubbling out. She cracked open one eye to playfully glare at him. “Shut it you.”

And he laughed again, causing her to open both eyes so he could receive the full effect of her glare. He raised his hands in surrender. “Sorry, sorry! But what do you expect when you just waltz in here and plop yourself on my floor!?”

Her gaze did not let up. 

"Okay okay I apologize most sincerely Madame Romanova," he finished with a Russian accent that had Natasha swallowing thickly and bowed with an arm outstretched in a flourish from his chair and a laugh escaped her before she could stop it at his complete and utter dorkiness.

Steve loved to hear that laugh and a large bright boyish smile appeared on his face. Natasha simply smiled back at him and rolled her eyes before moving her head back to stare at the ceiling again. 

He peered down at her in amusement. “Are you going to stay there forever or are we going to get some work done today?” 

Natasha just groaned in response. Steve chuckled, “senioritis finally getting to you?”

She hummed in place of a "yes" as the fan blew cool air over her. He let her stay there a few more minutes until he heard her breathing start to even out and he knew she was falling asleep.

Like always, Steve was looking out for Natasha’s best interests, so he held out a hand before she drifted off too far and said,  “okay, come on, time to get up.” She held her hand out but stayed limp and loose so when Steve lifted her up using a lot of his strength, there was too much momentum and she stumbled towards him as she lost her balance. Steve grabbed her waist to steady her, “whoa, whoa there.” 

Natasha woke up fully and then inhaled and his scent was abruptly all around her, dizzying in its effect. When she looked up from the floor his chest was so close and her eyes continued their track upward. She didn’t realize it but they lingered on his lips for a moment before they moved up to meet his and she was planning to say something but then his hands on her waist were moving her and suddenly she was being pushed into the nearest wall and Steve’s lips were on hers. 

The kiss was hard and desperate and Natasha wrapped her arms around Steve’s neck and pulled him as close as humanly possible. It didn’t last long before Natasha groaned into his mouth and Steve seemed to realize what was happening and pulled away as fast as he’d moved in. 

Natasha whimpered at the loss and grabbed his hand before he could go too far away. She sensed why he’d moved away and pulled him back in with a gentle hand on his cheek and with her other hand placed his hand back on her waist. He flicked his eyes up to hers, looking for something, and she saw the caution and worry and questions that are there but also mixed in — want. 

He was about to say something, she could tell, so she spoke before he had the chance, softly whispering, “shhh,” and running her thumb lightly along his lower lip, which he followed with his eyes, before drawing it back to press firmly on his cheek to draw his attention. 

“Steve,” his eyes switched back and forth between hers, waiting and wondering, “it’s okay.” 

She smiled now, soft and absolutely genuine, eyes shining, then leaned in so her next words were spoken against his lips, “this is what I want.” 

She stood on her tip toes and chastely brushed their lips together in just the slightest hint of a kiss and pulled back but stayed close enough that she could feel his eyelashes flutter against her forehead as she came back down, and the breath he took in before speaking, voice a bit gravelly, “me too,” smiling against her forehead before placing a kiss on it. 

Natasha moved her hand to the back of his neck and brought him down to her level to rejoin their lips. This time, the kiss was gentle, slow but steady, but there was no denying the electricity that shot warmth through both their bodies. His arms wrapped loosely around her waist, keeping her against him but letting her know she could break away if she wanted to. It was comfortable, not rushed at all, as if they’d been doing this forever. They moved perfectly without trying or thinking, it was like they were magnets, and just… _right_. They both sighed into the kiss; it felt like coming home.

When the two did finally break apart, they rested their foreheads together to catch their breath but not stray too far apart. Natasha smiled, pleasantly surprised at the turn of events, and Steve was too, but uncertainty still showed on his face. 

So, Natasha held his face between both her hands and brought herself up to kiss away his frown lines and rub away the crease that had formed between his eyebrows. 

Steve let her, enjoying the moment, and he was smiling gently when she came back down, but he looked like he still had thoughts swirling around in his brain, so she moved further away, took his hand, and led him to sit down on the floor area she’d made in his office weeks ago — blankets and pillows and twinkle lights to give the room a more comforting feel both for herself when she was there and for him. 

Once they were both sitting, she let go of his hand after rubbing a few soothing circles on it, and stared at him with a soft but intent gaze, waiting for him to talk. 

When he remained silent, she cleared her throat and spoke up. “I guess I’ll be the one to start then…” she said, teasing gently. 

That tactic had its desired effect and Steve looked up to meet her eyes, smiling softly but a bit sadly. 

Natasha noticed this and jumped in, “Steve listen to me — before you go off overthinking things,” she gave him a knowing look, “I want you to hear this. I want this, okay? I want _you._ And I _chose_ you, _I_ chose to give in. And.. to be honest.. I think I’ve been thinking about this for… a while.. so, anyway, the point is — don’t be blaming yourself or feeling sorry for anything because _I_ am consciously, willingly, _longingly_ deciding to .. at least try this with you. I mean, if that’s what you want, too..” 

She seemed to become less sure of herself at the end there, as the thought briefly crossed her mind that maybe she didn’t mean as much to him as he did to her.. maybe he was just attracted to her on a physical level and there was nothing deeper going on here and again her mind jumped to that ongoing internal debate from the past week. 

Luckily Steve took action before that line of thinking could go too far. He brushed her hair behind her ear and then cupped her face, thumb brushing back and forth on her cheekbone and finally speaking. “I do, Natasha. God, of course I want to be with you. I was just .. well, I still am.. concerned about you and what — if we do this, Natasha, you’d be risking so much,” he sounded so very concerned, voice almost breaking, “I mean, you’re going to be starting college and you’re, _fuck_ , you’re only 18, Nat. Your reputation and your studies and your whole entire future that’s ahead of you.. you have all that and I worry…” his head, now shaking back and forth as the weight of this all hit him even more, had dropped to look at the floor, hand falling with it to her knee.

Natasha was completely floored, taken aback at the care oozing from this man, the selflessness of his worry and she scooted forward on the floor, taking his face in her hands and murmuring, “Steve,” running her hands through his hair to hold on tight as she conveyed everything she felt into the press of her lips against his, effectively silencing him for the time being. When they came apart she remained close by, noses touching and eyelashes fluttering against the other’s, so he could feel her when she spoke next. 

“Thank you, for all your attentiveness.. but Steve, you don’t need to worry about those things. Or, at the very least, don’t let them stop you from doing something that could make you happy. _You make me happy_ , Steve, and right now, and I think the foreseeable future, if that’s what you were worried about .. that’s all that matters. Okay?”

She could feel Steve’s eyes begin to lift up and pulled away from him a bit before he spoke again. 

“You make me happy too, Nat,” he ran the back of his knuckles up her cheek gently, “so, so happy.” 

Steve couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face and of course then it was mirrored on Natasha’s, as well. Her eyes lit up and enthusiasm and joy could be heard in her voice, “okay! Then we’ll just figure everything else out along the way.” 

She sounded almost like she was living in a dream, blissfully ignorant but willingly so, in this case. She meant what she said.. none of those concerns compared to both of their happiness.

“Okay,” Steve flashed a boyish smile and that was apparently all he needed to pull her into his lap and in for a deep kiss. Natasha giggled into the kiss at sudden motion which set Steve off and soon they were both laughing so hard they couldn’t breath. The release of all the pent up stress and emotion came out and when they had their wits about them again, they shared another sweet kiss and a gaze filled with the promise of so much more. 

“So… what now?” Natasha asked and Steve chuckled at the sweet, comical way that came out. 

“Well. I propose 1) ice cream, and 2) while eating said ice cream, we should probably.. lay some ground rules,” Steve suggested maturely.

Natasha smiled widely and nodded enthusiastically, causing Steve to smile at her for probably the 100th time that day. He stood up and held out his hand for a second time that day. As she took it to help herself off the ground, he was reminded of that moment and smiled at her again, this time a whole different kind, in awe of what had unfolded since the last time he’d done that.

Like she knew what he was thinking, Natasha gazed back at him before pulling herself closer to him and, still holding hands, buried her face in his shoulder, pressing one kiss there and smiling back up at him. 

“Can we take your motorcycle?” she was ready to bat her eyelashes if she needed to, but it seemed she could save that for another time. 

Steve readily agreed, lightly shaking his head at her but giving in, “of course.” 

He dropped a kiss to the top of her head and double-checked the hallway — all clear — and off they went, riding into the sunset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is!!! Finally! MY GOSH I was smiling so much as I wrote this. I hope I did it justice and that starting now, everything will make up for making you guys waiting so frickin long. Thank you thank you thank you to those that have been following along. This one's for you! (Also, PLEASE let me know what you thought!) I love you all!!!!!
> 
> also omg I found out yesterday that my sister also loves Steve and Nat together and I almost cried of joy. Yay for them, yay for us. <3 <3 <3


	12. Talking

On their way to get ice cream, Steve had a genius idea. Since he was driving, he took her a little further out of town just to make sure they wouldn’t get noticed. He thought he was being awfully clever but, of course, Natasha noticed. So after they got there and she hopped down from the bike, before he got off she pushed herself to him and kissed him with passion.

Steve almost fell backward in surprise but soon kissed Natasha back. When she pulled away after just a few moments, he cluelessly asked, “what was that for?”

Natasha just gave a small smirk and started gathering her stuff from his little trunk, turning back to him to respond. “You’re not as sneaky as you think.”

“Whaa — ??!!” Steve replied in mock bewilderment.

Natasha cut him off with an amused grin and shake of her head. “It’s fine, Steve. It’s sweet, really. I appreciate it … or did you not get that through that kiss?”

Steve blushed a little as he got down from the bike and they started walking towards the ice cream parlor. “No I - I got it,” he softly chuckled now and then smiled charmingly at her. “I’m glad you see that I care, at least.”

Natasha sent a genuine smile his way at that, giving the moment meaning for both of them. She often worried that the things she said and did might not be taken as serious when she joked as often as she did, so she made sure to find little ways like that to give weight to conversations and occurrences. It was important to her that Steve know she recognized and was grateful for his looking out for her best interests. She didn’t want to mess this up.

They continued the short walk to the store in silence and Steve, the gentleman that he is, held the door open for her when they arrived. 

Natasha feigned a damsel in distress, placing her hand delicately over her heart, “my savior.”

Steve rolled his eyes even as he failed to suppress a smile and his cheeks became tinged the lightest shade of pink. He placed his hand on the small of her back, let the door shut behind them, and they walked towards the counter. 

Once they stepped up, an older woman moved in front of them with a warm smile. “And what can I get for the lovely couple on this sunny afternoon?”

Steve moved his hand to Natasha’s hip and squeezed slightly in affection and a message before he responded with an equally dazzling smile. “Good afternoon, could we get a double scoop of chocolate chip and… for you, pumpkin?” 

Natasha could tell he was teasing but when she looked up sideways at him, his face was the picture of innocence. She held back her glare for the sake of this kind woman in front of her and placed her order politely. “I’ll just have a kid’s size of coconut, please,” Natasha said with a sweet smile. 

“Coming right up!” The woman set to work scooping their ice cream. As soon as her back was turned, Natasha maneuvered her body to face both Steve and the counter.

“Pumpkin?” Natasha shot a disapproving look his way.

“No?” Steve asked with feigned innocent ignorance.

Natasha rolled her eyes and almost let her smile show, but held it in to get the full effect as she responded definitively, “no.”

Steve sighed dramatically, “fine…” 

Natasha shook her head, internally amused by Steve’s antics, and looked away as the woman brought their orders up to the counter. 

She grabbed them both and turned to pass Steve’s to him. When they made eye contact he gave her a boyish grin and winked, reaffirming for her once and for all that he was just joking about the pet name.

This time Natasha did smile in return — she just couldn’t help it anymore.

The woman behind the counter spoke again, “that’ll be $7.50.” She flashed another friendly grin at the pair. “So, how long have you two been together?”

Natasha spluttered, “oh, we, um, not too long, really.” She could feel her cheeks warming and to make matters even worse, Steve had used her momentary distraction to whip out his wallet and hand the woman a $10 bill. 

Natasha protested when he reached around her and she saw what was happening. “Steve..” she griped, but he cut her off, squeezing her shoulder and kissing her temple.

“Now now, what kind of man would I be if I didn’t pay for my .. sweet-cheeks?” 

Natasha whipped her head around to look at him and when she saw the devilish glint in his eyes she decided just not to say anything because she _knew_ he was just being mischievous at this point and she didn’t want to give in.

Steve looked up to the woman again and smiled. “Keep the change,” he said, and winked. 

She smiled knowingly back at him. “Well thank you. You two have a lovely day now!”

Natasha responded brightly, “thank you, you too!” before Steve placed his arm around her waist and they walked to the back patio.

Once they were sat across from each other, they dug into their ice cream. Steve took a huge spoonful and Natasha only a little lick of her cone, so she started talking while he was still eating.

“So,” she started. Steve gulped down his mouthful and looked up at Natasha in slight surprise. She laughed, feeling unrestrained at long last, before continuing. 

“Here’s what I was thinking,” Steve gazed at her, letting her know she was in control of the conversation. In between licks of her frozen treat she spoke. 

“So, obviously, no public displays of affection at school.”

Steve nodded in agreement, “they do make people very uncomfortable.”

“Exactly, plus, you know, our… unique.. situation.” Steve nodded again to keep her from having to say anymore to remind them of the unfortunately reality of their circumstances.

“Yeah, so..” she took another big lick of her ice cream and Steve let out this little sound from the back of his throat.

“That means none of that, Steve! And no touching or looking or kissing anywhere on me,” she instructed sternly. 

“What?! Not even in my office with the door locked and curtains covering the windows?” Steve practically whined.

Natasha’s mind betrayed her and showed her exactly how that might play out and changed her response to a sigh and then, “I guess, we’ll just.. have to play that one by ear and.. see how that might work.” 

Natasha for some reason thought it was a good idea to look at Steve after she said that and regretted it instantly, as she was met with his look of some shock but mostly he was totally smug. 

Before he could say anything Natasha moved on — “don’t,” Steve put his hands up in surrender but the smile didn’t leave his face. She rolled her eyes before continuing, “I think we can still hang out outside though, I mean.. we do that anyway.. we’ll just have to be careful of course, in the more public places. And I know the typical student hang-outs so we can avoid those…” 

While Natasha thought of more rules to lay down or things to discuss, Steve finally chimed in. “You know, it doesn’t actually sound like it’s going to be as hard as we both originally thought..”

Natasha answered, still half in thought, “yeah, I mean.. oh! Will I still be your TA? and, oh my gosh — can you still teach me to drive a motorcycle? Oh, crap! Are you still going to chaperone that retreat in a few weeks?”

Steve chuckled, placing his hands on top of her flailing ones to hold her steady and calm her down. 

“Nat, Nat.. hey,” he turned her palms over and began rubbing soothing circles, “yes to all of the above. Nothing’s going to change, alright? I mean.. a lot is going to change,” he smiled at the thought of it, “but you’re still going to be my TA and absolutely I’ll still teach you to drive, and as for the retreat — now I think I have even more reason to chaperone, don’t you?” He finished with a sly grin and a wink. 

That did the trick and Natasha visibly deflated, letting out a sigh and humming as Steve continued to run his fingers across hers before intertwining them. 

“Okay,” she finally spoke.

Steve gazed at her with great affection, “okay. One last thing though..” 

Natasha saw that Steve was now suddenly shy, squeezing his hand in quiet encouragement and reassurance. 

“… What are we?” Steve looked up, uncertainty in his eyes.

Natasha looked thoughtful for a moment before answering. 

“Well, that depends… who do you want me to be?” 

She fell silent after that, regarding him with an exclusively curious, nonjudgmental look, as though if he were to say just a friend or friend with benefits she truly would be fine with it.

Steve, though, seized the opportunity that had presented itself and ducked his head sheepishly, overcome for the moment by a confusing mixture of over-eagerness and embarrassment from that excitement. Then he peered up at Natasha from under his lashes and when their eyes met, all of that melted away and he responded honestly, “my girl.”

Natasha’s breath hitched at the sincerity in his voice and an unstoppable fond smile spread across her features. She untangled one of her hands from his and, leaning across the table, brought it up to touch his cheek.

“Steve,” she spoke softly, her smile strengthening by the second, “it would be my absolute pleasure.”

Natasha searched his eyes for a second while stroking his cheek, still in that state of joyous disbelief. When he smiled back at her, eyes pouring out happiness, she leaned in and pressed her lips gently to his. They both sucked in a breath at the still-new feeling and it lasted, as always, not long enough, before she pulled away, still smiling.

“So, my old man, should we get out of here?”

Steve laughed, feeling freer than ever, and pinched her lightly before standing. He let go of her hand to collect their trash and throw it away, then picked it up again when he returned to her side. 

“You know, Nat, you might just want to watch what you say. It could get you in real trouble,” he said looking straight into her eyes with a dangerous glint that made her freeze for a moment as it sent images reeling through her mind. 

She suppressed a shiver and broke out of her spell when she felt rather than heard Steve laughing, shoulders shaking, obviously pleased with himself.

“You little _shit._ ” 

Of course this made Steve laugh even more audibly, and Natasha dropped his hand with force before walking away from him, heading towards the motorcycle. She paused once to nod at the woman behind the counter again and heard Steve jogging to catch up with her.

“Nat, wait! Nat, babe, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please wait.”

Natasha stopped in her tracks and turned to face him, causing Steve, who was right behind her, to almost crash into her. Amusement was still clear on his face but he also looked apologetic. 

He smoothed his palms down her arms and then wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her in closer. “I’m sorry,” he pouted slightly and kissed her nose, making her scrunch it up in reaction. 

She sighed dramatically, “fine, I guess you’re forgiven.” Steve smiled — he really did resemble a puppy at times — and pulled her in for a quick but passionate kiss. She smirked and turned back around, pulling him by the hand to the door. 

“Come on, _babe_ , I’ve got places to be!” 

Steve nearly balked at the nickname, not realizing he’d just said it himself, but followed willingly, holding a hand up in thanks to the woman that had helped them earlier. She smiled and waved in return. Upon hearing the door shut behind them and seeing Steve grab Natasha from behind and spin her in the air, a wildly happy look on both their faces, the woman said to herself, “ah, young love.”

Little did she know how spot on she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)  
> happy mid-week surprise chapter!! I'm so sorry I didn't get one out last weekend - I just couldn't get myself to write during the week and then I got super sick over the weekend. I only wrote this on a weird urge last night but I hope you enjoyed! I know it's kind of filler but I just am having trouble writing.. I'm still not feeling 100% and it's like I have so many ideas that I can't get myself to just sit down and write one. So if you have anything you'd like to see, let me know! I have a general idea of where I want this to go but I can def try to fit it in (: Hopefully my mojo comes back soon  
> Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has commented and stayed with this. Much love <3


	13. Driving & Eating & Watching & Snuggling

On the way back, after only a little bit of pleading and batting of eyelashes, Steve let Natasha drive… he did promise to continue to teach her, after all, or at least that’s what he told himself. 

Her gleeful smile when he caved and said yes turned into apprehension as they got onto the highway. Steve could feel it in the tensing of her stomach muscles where he’d been brushing his fingers lightly under her shirt. He’d been instructing her logistically, speaking firm commands about when to lean and speed up and slow down and how to do it all. 

Now, though, he spoke softly to calm her down, “balance, Nat… just like when you’re dancing.”

The tone he used soothed her, and the allegory helped immensely. Natasha took a deep, steadying breath and regained her control, smiling to herself under the helmet as she thought of how well Steve knew her. 

From then on out, she got them home safely, no more nerves, just listening and obeying and driving. Once she got in her zone, the drive actually became quite relaxing and when she pulled up in front of her house, Natasha felt like she was in a zen sort of daze. 

The adrenaline had worn off and she found herself caught up in a moment as she felt Steve’s un-helmeted head lean into the space between her shoulder blades and his lips brush lightly against her spine. 

Natasha took her helmet off as she turned around to look at him. What met her were eyes glazed over and a dopey grin on the face of the man she adored. She smiled back without realizing it and leaned in for a chaste kiss. 

When she pulled away she glanced to her left and sighed. Her parents’ car was not in the driveway. Yet again, she would be alone for the weekend. 

Steve seemed to noticed her silence and tilted his head, silently asking what was wrong. Natasha read his body language like a pro and answered.

“My parents just.. aren’t home all that often, and normally it’s okay, I savor the solitude, but.. sometimes it just sucks to be alone so much.” She finished with a shrug, as if trying to make it seem less sad than it was, but Steve wasn’t fooled. 

“Well,” he brought her hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss in the center, “you aren’t alone anymore.” His eyes crinkled at the corners as they met hers. “I’m always here for you.”

Natasha gave him a half-smile and then a thought suddenly popped into her head that made it grow into a full one. She looked back at her house, then back at him. 

“Do you want to come in for a bit?”

She looked so hopeful and if Steve was being honest with himself, he really didn’t need much convincing.

“I would love to,” he smiled brightly.

“Great!” Natasha turned back around to place the helmet on the handle bars and felt Steve hug her from behind and bury his face in her neck. He breathed in before pressing a lingering kiss to the spot where her neck met her shoulder. 

“You’re never alone, Nat,” he murmured against her skin so quietly Natasha was surprised she heard him, but she did, and she gave a meaningful squeeze to his hand in response.

Steve leaned back and hopped off the bike, and Natasha moved to do the same, accepting the hand Steve offered and not letting go of it until she had to unlock the front door. 

The pair entered the house and as soon as the door was locked and Natasha had called out to make sure nobody was home, she pressed her body against Steve’s, wrapped her arms around his abdomen, and kissed him deeply. 

Steve was surprised but kissed back right away, following her when she pulled back to breathe out, “Hi.”

Steve was still out of breath when he responded, “hi.”

Natasha nearly giggled at the state of him. “So do you want a tour of the place?”

“Lead the way, ma’am,” Steve said with an outstretched arm. 

And so Natasha took him all around the house, pointing out family keepsakes and the kitchen which Steve gazed at almost as lovingly as he did at her. They stopped at her bedroom so Natasha could change into something more comfortable. 

When she began to take her shirt off and hadn’t made any indication that she wanted Steve to avert his eyes, he turned around of his own accord. Natasha laughed at that.

That was definitely not how she pictured this going — of course Steve just _had_ to be a perfect gentleman, too. Well, she supposed she shouldn’t complain after all the gross types of men she’s seen in her young life already. 

Steve wasn’t _that_ much of a gentleman, as it turned out. She finished and told him, “okay you can turn around now, Steve.” When he turned around to face her, there was definitely a blush on his cheeks and neck and Natasha just _knew_ he’d been picturing her getting undressed. 

“You know, next time you can just see for yourself, Rogers,” she teased with a wink.

Steve blushed even harder at that. _Cute_ , she thought with a smile as she pulled him out the door so they could continue their tour. 

Natasha finished in the living room and unceremoniously plopped down onto the couch, making Steve chuckle. When she saw that he was about to speak, probably to say something like that it was time for him to get going, she jumped in first. 

“So you wanna watch a movie or something? Dinner? I am kinda hungry..” she trailed off.

Steve looked excited now as he answered, “mind if I poke around in your fridge? I’m dying to cook something in that kitchen. I could make us dinner?”

Natasha nodded, standing up to walk with him. As soon as they got there, Steve set to work. Natasha just hopped up onto the counter and watched him, loving that she got to see this new side of him.

“You know, I didn’t even know you _could_ cook, let alone that you liked it so much.”

Steve responded without even looking up. “Yeah, my mom loved to bake and cook new things for me all the time when I was younger and I guess that spirit just kind of rubbed off on me,” Steve smiled at the thought of his happy childhood.

Natasha looked at how happy and comfortable he was and felt privileged that he was sharing this thing he so clearly loved with her.

“Well, maybe you can teach me someday… I have no skills in the kitchen whatsoever,” she said with that self-deprecating humor that Steve loved so much.

He gasped in mock-surprise and moved closer to her. “You mean Natasha Romanoff is not perfect at everything???!”

Natasha playfully swatted at his arm. “Shut up and cook, mister.”

Steve chuckled and gave a little salute then did as he was told, “sir, yes sir.”

He ended up cooking them honey balsamic-glazed chicken, brown rice, a summer squash medley, and roasted brussel sprouts. 

Natasha had wandered off after he’d told her it would be about 45 minutes still, and he hadn’t seen her since. He called out once dinner was ready and she appeared in the doorway, looking freshly showered and, honestly, like a snack in her oversized t-shirt and short sleep shorts.

He whined when he saw her, “you showered without me?”

Natasha was caught so unaware that she was rendered speechless. Then, she noticed Steve’s features turn awfully smug and sighed, “you’re the worst,” as she walked towards him. 

He was quite pleased that he’d managed to get her back for earlier and knew she wasn’t _really_ mad, which is why he didn’t move away when she came up next to him to peer at the food.

He did tense a little at the feel of her body pressed against his but it only prompted him to turn her and press her back against the edge of the counter. Trapping Natasha between his legs, Steve kissed her with passion and Natasha whimpered at the force of it. Steve quickly moved his lips to press a line of wet kisses on her jaw line, then neck, lips ultimately trailing down to suck and and nip at her collarbone. 

Natasha had tilted her head to give him more access, eyes closing, lost in the pleasure of it, until he made his way back up to her pulse point and sucked, hard. She cried out in a delicious, heady mix of pleasure and pain that she’d never experienced before, and her own noises brought her back to awareness. 

“Steve,” her own voice came out so low she almost didn’t recognize it. He still didn’t let up and as he worked on the spot more, she groaned before speaking again, more firmly this time but still breathy. 

“Steve,” she tapped his shoulders, and he stopped for a moment, looking up at her from under his lashes, and she almost decided not to say what she’d planned to, but she really was hungry. 

“If you keep this up we’re not going to be eating hot food,” she managed to get out between deep breathes.

Steve sighed heavily, dropping his head to her shoulder and groaning.

Natasha laughed, voice still rough, before speaking again. “I know, I know, but I don’t want all your hard work to go to waste.”

“Fnn,” she heard his muffled voice say.

She pulled him back up to kiss him one last time before pushing herself out of his embrace and grabbing a few of the dishes to bring to the coffee table. 

“Are you gonna stand there all night or are you gonna be a good boy and help me bring the rest of these to the couch?” Natasha tossed a look over her should at Steve, who was not moving, gazing after her.

That seemed to bust him out of his stupor and he jumped into action, gathering the rest of the dishes and following her to the family room.

They sat down and Natasha turned on Netflix, settling back into the couch after Steve handed her a plateful of food.

They sat in comfortable silence, watching the documentary Natasha had chosen and eating the delicious meal Steve had cooked. 

Once they were both finished Steve took their dishes to the kitchen and placed them in the sink. When he sat back down, Natasha immediately snuggled into his side and Steve placed his arm around her waist, pulling her even closer. 

“Thank you for dinner,” she said sincerely.

“It was my pleasure,” he answered with a soft smile, kissing her forehead and falling silent again.

She smiled at the gesture and continued watching the movie. Full, content, and relaxed, Natasha drifted to sleep and awoke when the movie had finished. Her head was now in Steve’s lap, his hands idly playing with her hair as he watched her.

“Sleep well?” he asked when he saw her eyes flutter open.

Natasha nodded.

“Come on, then,” Steve turned the TV off, “I think it’s time we get you to bed.” 

Before she knew it Natasha was being whisked into the air and carried bridal-style to her bedroom. Steve had wrapped Natasha’s arms around his neck — because, safety first — so when he set her in her bed, she unintentionally pulled him down with her. He didn’t even think about their position, but gently put her arms back down by her side. 

He made to crawl off the bed but a hand reached out and grabbed his arm before he could move too far away.

“Stay?” Natasha asked softly, showing a vulnerability he hadn’t seen before.

Steve was almost convinced just by the tone of her voice, but knew what was for the best, so he gently turned her down.

Not wanting to completely break her spirit, Steve reminded her of their usual Saturday morning coffee/homework dates, saying “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

He stood up, then leaned down and kissed her forehead. Natasha hummed into it, shimmying further under her blanket. Steve smiled to himself and walked towards the door, pausing for a moment to gaze at his sleeping beauty one last time. 

“Goodnight, Nat,” he whispered, then shut off the light and walked out the door, making sure to shut it softly so as not to wake her. 

Steve stopped in the kitchen to wash their dishes quietly and leave a note for her, then he let himself out and tried to ignore the way he felt like there was a string attached between them and that he was stretching it to the point of pain. 

He would see her tomorrow, he repeated to himself the whole way home. When he got there, he concocted a brilliant plan, and went to sleep with a smile on his face thinking about it, about Natasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow! 2 chapters in a week? who AM I?
> 
> lol my brain has been whirling like crazy with ideas it's been hard to even write down the gist of it, let alone an entire scene/chapter but this one really stuck so I hope you enjoyed! it's interconnected with some upcoming ones so all in all it's like 3-4 chapters that are all in the span of a week but anyway.. look forward to that if you liked this!  
> and thank you to everyone who's been keeping up and sharing the love with this story :) it's what keeps me going


	14. Coffee-ing & Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more fluff + a wee scare

The next day Natasha woke up, to her dismay, alone. She walked downstairs to find the kitchen spotless and a piece of paper on the counter. Picking it up, she scanned it and smiled to herself without realizing it. 

 

_Had a great time last night :)_

_Text me when you wake up and we can meet @ our usual spot._

_\- Steve_

 

She pulled out her phone and did as she was instructed, texting Steve that she was awake and could be ready in half an hour if he was. 

He responded almost immediately, enthusiastic as ever, with lots of lovey emojis after saying he couldn’t wait to see her. 

Natasha got ready quickly and started walking the 6 blocks it took to get to their usual coffee shop to be there by the agreed-upon time. When she got there, Steve was already there and stood up to greet her, almost kissing her before realizing where they were and settling for an awkward hug instead. 

He insisted on paying for her drink and went to the counter to order for the both of them. While he was up there, Natasha took the time to scan the cafe, not noticing anyone from school and deciding it was safe for the moment to act a little more like a couple, but still no PDA. 

When Steve came back she smiled sweetly and took her mug from his hands, waiting for him to sit down before she told him, “thank you.” Then she leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, “and the coast is clear.”

Steve arched an amused eyebrow at her but nodded in understanding all the same. 

They chatted and Natasha got some homework done while Steve graded some things and sketched, like nothing had changed at all. Only, Natasha got less done because she kept stealing glances at Steve and Steve, this time, was sketching Natasha. 

Steve got bored after a while, Natasha could tell, because when he gets bored he gets mischievous, and she received multiple Facebook poke notifications from none other than the man himself, Steve Rogers. 

They came in so frequently that she had to stop what she was doing and give him a stern look from across the table to get him to stop. He looked so damn amused but in that charming, boyish way that she could only roll her eyes and give him a stern warning look before going back to her work. 

_What a dork_ , Natasha thought to herself with a smile as she went back to her computer.

He stopped bothering her after a little chuckle to himself and the rest of the morning went by with enough productivity that by 12:30, Natasha thought she could call it a day and still feel accomplished. 

She bumped his foot with hers to get him to look up and when he didn’t, obviously too focused on his sketch, she leaned over to look at what he was drawing. 

What she saw was not at all what she’d been expecting. She sucked in a gasp as she came face to face with … herself. Granted, in graphite, but that was definitely her. 

“Do you like it?” Steve’s cautious, anticipative voice interrupted her moment of awe. 

Her eyes flicked up to meet his as she answered his question sincerely. 

“Well, yeah, I just.. look so different. I look, older, and beautiful…” she trailed off.

“Because you are,” Steve remarked simply.

Natasha stared at him and was about to do the only thing she could think of when she remembered where they were. Instead, she laced their fingers together under the table and whispered earnestly to Steve, “I so wish I could kiss you right now.”

Steve smiled sympathetically in response and squeezed her hand. That prompted Natasha to declare once and for all, “I’m done, by the way. Ready to go if you are.” 

If she seemed too eager to get out of there, it’s because she was — a feeling Steve shared and why he readily agreed. 

“Let’s go.”

Once they were outside, Steve walked to the empty sidewalk but stopped before heading to the parking lot. Peering down at Natasha he asked, “you walked here?”

She nodded. 

“Are your parents back yet?”

“Nope,” Natasha shook her head.

“Well then, if you don’t have any other plans today, which is fine if you do, and you can feel free to say no …” Natasha felt the beginnings of a smile on her face as she listened to his nervous rambling “… do you want to come over?” 

When she didn’t give her answer right away, too caught up in watching this adorable man, Steve took that as weariness and continued.

“We can just watch a movie, or go out and do something, too, whatever you want. I just want to spend time with you, Nat,” he took hold of her hand and caressed it as he finished. 

Natasha smiled at his genuine charm. “I’d love to,” Steve smiled widely. I’d love nothing more than to spend my entire day with you, babe, I hope you know that.”

She left a chaste kiss on his lips and came back down before Steve even had the chance to stop her as she’d momentarily forgotten they were in public. He checked their surroundings quickly. They’d gotten lucky this time — he would have to be more aware from now on. 

Still, he interlaced his fingers with Natasha’s and pulled her behind him as he walked towards his back. This time he drove, because he was the only one who knew where they were going. 

That gave Natasha the cherished opportunity of riding behind Steve and all the wonderful things that came with it, and she indeed took advantage. She pulled herself so close that her chest was pressed up against his back. Under the guise of holding on tight, she let her hands wander up and down his abdomen, pressing rough lines with her fingertips down his abs. When they got close to their destination, she looped her fingers through the belt loops on his dark jeans and let her thumbs rest, brushing absentmindedly, at the waistline. 

Once they arrived and Steve shut off the motor, he had to take a steadying breath before he could even remove his helmet. He didn’t want to show just how affected he’d been by her touch. Little did he know, that’s exactly what Natasha’s aim was. 

So neither said nor did anything, but Steve took her hand and led her to his apartment. 

When he opened the door, he let her pass by and enter into the space before uttering a little, “ta da!”

She smiled and immediately lost herself in taking in the bit of style the place had to it. From here she could see a kitchen, clearly stocked with lots of various cooking supplies. And she was standing in the living room. There were pictures scattered here and there, a sketchbook and pencils on the side table, a bookcase full of records and actual DVDs, and over the couch was draped the softest-looking blanket Natasha had ever laid eyes on. _Oh yes_ , she thought to herself, _she could definitely spend a lot of her time here_.

Once Steve saw Natasha was done with her scan, he spoke.

“Come on, I’ll show you around.”

And he did. Not just the rooms, but little pieces of himself that he’d placed throughout the apartment. He pointed out Bucky in a couple of the pictures hanging in one of the hallways, Sam in one, too, and his dad who had died serving in the military.

When they got to his bedroom, Natasha didn’t even make a flirtatious joke, she was too caught up in feeling so privileged and honored to be there, with Steve, who was opening up so willingly to her.

It was the kind of moment that didn’t go unnoticed by Steve, and he was reminded again how mature Natasha was. 

He brought her back to the kitchen. “You hungry?” he asked.

Natasha shrugged, knowing in part it was sincere but also just because he wanted to eat. “I mean I could eat if you are.”

“Oh great!” Steve responded enthusiastically, immediately turning to the cupboards so his back was facing her. He continued talking while rummaging, “I’m starving. Hm, looks like I don’t really have much for a substantial lunch…” he looked over his shoulder at her, “mind if we go to the grocery store real quick?”

Natasha shook her head. “Let’s go!”

Steve flashed her a charming grin. 

“Thanks babe, you’re the best.” 

As he passed by, took her chin between his thumb and index finger and leaned down to give her what she thought would be a quick peck but ended up leaving her breathless. 

Steve pulled away with a heavy exhale but mirth still dancing in his eyes before backing up fully, “let me just get my keys.”

Natasha nodded dumbly after him, not registering that he was grabbing a different set of keys from the bowl. That’s why when they got downstairs and to the underground parking garage, she was so surprised at the vehicle they ended up in front of.

“You have a _car_ , too?!” She turned her head sideways to face Steve and gave him an incredulous look. 

He laughed. “Yeah! What do you think, I just ride around on my bike when it’s snowing and -10 out?” He chuckled again. “Nah, trips like these are what I keep this around for. And the snow, of course, but mostly I just use public transport where I can.”

Natasha nodded in understanding, a smirk growing on her face when a thought came to mind. She turned to face her boyfriend fully now. 

“You know Steve,” she began in that tone of voice that had Steve a little bit scared and apprehensive and a little thrilled at the anticipation “… I _know_ how to drive a car, and I’ve had my license for two years already with no accidents or tickets. If you, say, were feeling like you wanted to do something nice for your incredibly wonderful girlfriend, I think letting her drive this baby might be a fantastic idea.” She finished with a suggestive tone and never took her eyes off his.

After a little staring match, Steve finally sighed and shuffled over to her, depositing the keys in her hand and gripping her wrist to keep her in place. His face came closer to hers and she could feel his breath as he murmured, “I am pretty smart, you’re right. I’ve had some great ideas in the past few minutes.” And then his lips were pressing insistently against hers and she damn near melted when she felt his arm wrap around her waist and pull her closer and his tongue lick at the seam, pushing gently inside when she allowed him entrance. 

Before they could get too caught up in it, Steve’s stomach growled loudly and Natasha laughed into the kiss before pulling away, pressing one last peck to his lips before unlocking the car and hopping in the driver seat. 

“Come on, lover boy,” she called out the still-open door, “let’s go find you something to eat.”

Steve shook his head, muttering to himself as he walked to the passenger side that he could think of something to eat right here and now. To Natasha, his words were unintelligible, and Steve thanked his lucky stars for that as he shook himself out of the haze of desire that had fallen over him and looked at his beautiful girl, so sweet, being so attentive to him.

Natasha seemed to feel his gaze as she started the car and she turned to look at him, “what?”

Steve smiled adoringly, “nothing. I’m just happy you’re here.”

Still, she looked at him suspiciously. “Mhm, I know. What would you do without your personal uber driver to shuttle you around..” she sighed, mock-exasperated, but pulled out onto the street nonetheless.

It was a short drive to Steve’s usual market, as he gave her directions. It looked very health-food-y, all sorts of signs reading local and organic and non GMO, and she figured none of her classmates would ever shop here. That is, if they even did their own grocery shopping, which she figured they didn’t. 

So when she left Steve to grab something from a different aisle, the last thing she expected as she approached the aisle he was in was to hear Steve’s deep (but polite-fake) laugh followed by the voice of none other than Sharon Carter.

Sharon Carter who, Natasha remembered, had a particular fondness for Steve, as she’d so unabashedly shared with Natasha once upon a time. Still, as the little tendrils of jealousy and possessiveness started to take hold of her, Natasha knew she the role she had to play.

So she walked into the aisle, head high, pretending not to notice Sharon standing close to Steve and _oh my god, she was touching his arm now._ Instead Natasha made herself look busy, inspecting the shelf for some unknown food item. She waited, and knew it was coming, but still cringed when she heard it. 

“Oh my god, Natasha?!” Natasha turned her head in pretend confusion at who was calling her name, catching Steve’s eye as she looked over to the source of the noise. He gave a nearly unnoticeable nod and then Sharon was squealing again.

“Natasha, oh my god! This has got to be the craziest coincidence ever, running into Mr Rogers here and now you!”

Natasha had politely made her way over to the girl at this point, giving Steve a curt little nod, “Mr. Rogers.” 

Then she was suddenly wrapped in a typical teenage girl hug, giving her the chance to more wholly communicate with Steve. 

“How _are_ you? My gosh, I feel like we haven’t talked in _forever_ ,” Sharon finally pulled back, giving Natasha a chance to answer.

“I’ve been good, busy, as I’m sure you can relate, but good,” Natasha smiled and had to resist flicking her eyes up to Steve, as he was the main reason for all that goodness in her life recently.

“So what are you doing here?” Natasha asked, hopefully not too obvious, but Sharon seemed none the wiser.

“Oh, just picking up a few things for a pa —“ Sharon paused, slowly turning back to look up to Steve, like she was finally remember he was her teacher, then back to Natasha — “for a little get together I’m having tonight,” she corrected. 

Natasha smirked and then looked up at Steve. “Don’t worry Sharon, I’m sure Mr. Rogers here has been to plenty of _parties_ ,” she made sure to put emphasis on the word just to make Sharon sweat a little, “the same as I’m sure all the teachers know that’s just a typical part of high school life.”

Steve scoffed in protest. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Natasha. I was a perfect student, perfect child. Pft, parties. Birthday parties, maybe.” 

Steve rolled his eyes in playful disbelief at her insinuation. Both girls laughed before Sharon continued, “well, you’re welcome to swing by, Natasha! People will probably start rolling in around 10.”

“Thanks, but I actually already have plans tonight,” Natasha responded without thinking.

“Ooooh! Does someone have a hot date?” Sharon jumped at the opportunity to get any sort of romantic juice.

Natasha looked thoughtful for a moment. 

“Hmm, well, he didn’t actually call it one so I really don’t know.” 

Natasha could feel Steve’s eyes on her and dared to redirect her gaze to him for a moment to see if, yep, sure enough, he was fighting a losing battle to keep his cheeks from flushing pink. She chanced a wink in his direction and then looked back to Sharon.

Luckily Sharon was too caught up in the possibility for drama to notice their little exchange. 

“Well,” she looked back at Steve and then motioned for Natasha to come closer. She did, and Sharon whispered her next words, for good reason, too… “between you and me, I think you’ll know when you know, you know what I mean?” 

Natasha backed up and coughed a little at the meaning behind Sharon’s words, now not able to keep her own blush down.

“Yeah, yeah,” Natasha nodded profusely, “I think I know what you mean.”

Sharon giggled a little and then checked her phone. 

“Oh damn! I didn’t realize what time it was. I gotta get going, but it was great to see both of you.” 

She gave Natasha a wink and Steve a little flirtatious smile and then she was gone.

Steve and Natasha both visibly deflated now that the danger had passed. Steve arched an eyebrow at her as she approached him, silently asking about the blush, to which she just shook her head, “you don’t wanna know.”

Steve’s eyes twinkled with determination but he didn’t press. She was sure he would ask again, though… and maybe she would just have to show him, instead.

For now, she handed the item to Steve and he leaned down, pressing his cheek against hers to speak into her ear and press the keys into her hand. 

“Why don’t you go wait in the car and I’ll check out.”

His voice was low and it made Natasha shiver. Of course he noticed, as his hand was on the small of her back as he spoke, and so he chuckled darkly into her ear before swiftly licking and tugging at her earlobe with his teeth. 

A little squeak of surprise escaped her and she pulled away quickly, not wanting to draw attention to herself. She just nodded and told Steve “I’ll be in the car,” before walking away, leaving Steve grinning smugly behind her.

He joined her in the car not even 10 minutes later, quickly putting the groceries in and sitting down dramatically. 

“You good?” Natasha asked, amused.

Steve blew out a breath and nodded. 

“Yeah,” he laughed, “I just can’t believe that actually happened.”

Natasha couldn’t stop her own laugh from bubbling out. She had been thinking the same thing just moments before. She peered directly at Steve with her eyes wide. 

“I know,” and they both busted out in a fit of giggles.

When it subsided, Natasha’s stomach growled and she turned the car on to get them home and fed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOhOO Sharon almost caught them! lol but don't worry she suspects nothing.
> 
> anyway, so this is basically part 1 of 2 chapters.. I started writing this and it ended up at almost 7k words! so I decided to split it haha or else you'd just be scrolling forever.. gonna write a bit more for the second and it should be up tomorrow!
> 
> as always, comments are greatly appreciated! I love to hear what you guys think :)


	15. Dork-being & Sleeping & Waking & Texting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the weekend adventure saga continues

Steve fixed up a light quinoa salad for lunch and they watched some Netflix while they ate. It was a companionable silence, both simply enjoying being in the presence of the other. Able to be themselves and express their feelings without fear of being caught — it was a rare and valued Saturday afternoon.

Eventually Steve got up to wash their dishes and Natasha turned around on the couch to watch him. He looked so young right then, and when she thought about it, he’d looked like that pretty much all day. Suddenly a question popped into her head.

“Does it bother you?”

“What?”

“Being so perfect?” She was only half-teasing.

Steve placed the last dish in the dishwasher and dried his hands before walking over to her. She followed his approach with big eyes and had to tilt her head up when he finally stood in front of her. He grabbed her hands from where they’d been holding the back of the couch and rubbed soothing circles over her knuckles.

“Nat, honey… I’m nowhere near perfect. In fact, I’m stunned every day that you agreed to be with me. You’re so out of my league.” She appeared surprised and like she was going to question him so he continued, “seriously, have you taken a good look at yourself? Inside and out, Nat, you’re incredible.” Steve realized how serious this little monologue was getting so he decided to lighten the mood, “plus, if you’ve seen me play MarioKart, you’d know for sure I’m not perfect.” 

He flashed a charming grin but his eyes were full of warmth and a depth she didn’t quite know what to do with. So she took the proffered out.

“Hm, well I guess we’ll just have to play a few rounds so I can decide for myself,” she said with a mischievous glimmer in her eyes.

Steve groaned but set up the game anyway.

“I’m warning you,” he said, looking sideways at Natasha as the Wii theme music started playing, “you’re going to see.. I’m an embarrassment to the entire human specimen.”

“I don’t know, babe, you’re quite the specimen,” Natasha nudged his shoulder and dragged her eyes over his body for effect.

Steve chuckled and shook his head. “You’ll see…” he trailed off as she chose Coconut Mall to begin with, starting out simple as per usual.

Two hours passed by quickly with Steve failing miserably and Natasha taking first in nearly every race. There was no end in sight, Natasha now determined to help Steve improve his skills. She was shouting instructions to him as they played, but to no avail. After he came last in yet another race, he set down the controller with a sigh. “See, I told you — not good.” 

He looked a bit like a sad puppy. Natasha put down her controller and turned to face him fully, bringing one leg up onto the couch.

“Aww, it’s okay baby,” she scooted closer. “Do you need me to reaffirm your manliness?” She was still speaking as if he was a hurt child. “I’m sure you’re good at doing plenty of other things with your hands!”

It was said innocently enough but the glint in Natasha’s eyes and the accompanying wink let him know she knew exactly what she was saying,

“Naaaat,” he whined.

She was so close now that she was basically on his lap. 

“Whaaaaat,” she mocked.

He placed a tentative hand on her waist. 

“Why do you hate me,” he pouted.

“Oh, I think you know very well that I don’t hate you.”

“But, but.. we can’t. Not yet at least…” he trailed off as Natasha ran her fingers through his blonde locks.

“And why not?”

It was a simple question, but asked honestly, and Steve realized they hadn’t talked about that yet.

“Because I want to take you on at least three dates first.” He pressed a quick kiss to the inside of her arm. “I want to do this the proper way, Nat.”

Steve’s eyes bore into hers and Natasha was struck, not for the first time, by yes, his true gentleman nature, but mostly where that came from — his genuine care for her.

It was sadly something foreign to Natasha, but she liked the thought of it, being properly courted, not to mention the anticipation that would surely lead to something explosive and amazing. She smiled at the thought.

“Okay.”

“Okay? Just like that?” Steve blew out a breath.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Well you haven’t actually presented me with an offer yet…”

Steve cleared his throat. “Natalia Alianovna Romanova, would you do me the honor of going on a date with me?”

Natasha smiled happily. “Yes,” she answered simply before joining their lips in a sweet, chaste kiss.

When she peered up, Steve looked over the moon about it, and eager.

“But not today,” she clarified, “I’m enjoying this lazy day too damn much.”

Steve chuckled and brushed a few strands of hair from her forehead. 

“Whatever you say, my darling.”

A few more hours passed by with Steve and Natasha watching two movies that she’d picked from his selection of DVDs. Luckily, she was a bit of an old soul just like him, probably why they got along so well in the first place.

As she’d been rifling through the shelf she’d noticed for a millennial male he had an awful lot of Disney movies. 

Steve had just shrugged sheepishly when she’d asked him about it. 

“I just like them,” he’d stated. 

When she saw Fox and the Hound among them, she gasped and turned to face him, hopeful look on her face. 

“Can we watch this one??”

Steve looked at what she was holding and a sincerely happy smile spread across his face. “Nat, that’s my _favorite,_ ” he looked at her with a bit of awe in his expression.

“Well aren’t you just a bit of a delicate flower,” she’d teased, but gazed softly back all the same.

So after that, they’d moved onto The Little Mermaid, and suddenly Ariel was having her voice taken away and it was 6:30 pm. Steve paused the movie when he felt the beginnings of a rumble in his stomach. Nat looked up at him from where she’d been resting her head against his bicep.

“Does pizza for dinner sound okay? I’m getting hungry again and am far too comfortable to get up and make something.

“Sounds good. Pepperoni for me, please.”

“You got it princess.” Natasha smiled and Steve kissed her forehead then turned the move back on, ordering their pizza from his phone so he wouldn’t have to go find his laptop. He wasn’t lying when he said he was comfortable, and he’d waited too damn long to be in this position to move away from it now.

Half an hour later the doorbell rang and Natasha removed her head so Steve could get up. She paused the movie and went to grab some paper towels from the kitchen. She heard the door being opened and at the same time noticed he left his wallet on the counter. She grabbed it and was about to walk down the hall when she heard Steve’s voice, louder than she’d expected.

“Hey Loki!”

_Shit._ Natasha froze.

“How long have you been working for Amici’s?”

She could tell Steve was having this conversation to let her know not to give any indication she was there. He would just have to trust in her.

“Well, good for you. Oh, you know what, I left my wallet, gimme just a second.”

And then she heard someone walking briskly to where she stood. He looked at her meaningfully and she handed over the wallet without any words, eyes still wide in a bit of fear at being found out. He nodded at her, then walked back to where her classmate was waiting.

“Here you go. Keep the change. Thanks for the pizza and good luck with the job! Drive safe.”

Loki said something back and then the door was being shut and familiar footsteps were making their return to her.

Steve set the pizza boxes down on the counter with a plop. 

“That was close,” he gave a sharp look at her.

Natasha scoffed, “I’ll say… But hey, nice move with saying his name out loud. That was a very narrow miss, but a miss, thank god.”

“You’re right,” Steve said and visibly relaxed, shaking it off. “Let’s just enjoy the rest of the night, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Natasha agreed.

She grabbed a few slices and dropped them onto her paper towel. Steve gave her an amused look.

“What? I didn’t know where the plates were!” she defended.

“You’re pretty darn cute, you know that?” was all Steve said, small smile still playing on his lips.

“Mhm,” she responded with a mouthful of pizza.

Steve only chuckled and grabbed a bottle of white wine from the fridge. 

“Want some?” he asked, holding it out to her.

She raised an eyebrow. “You do remember how old I am, right?”

Steve rolled his eyes and brushed off her concern with a wave of his hand.

“I don’t care about that. You’re in private, you’re 18, you’re with me, you’re fine, Nat.”

This made her raise her eyebrow even more.

“Well I didn’t know Mr. Rogers could be so lax with enforcing the rules. You know for a high school teacher this makes you seem awfully rebellious,” she teased.

One side of Steve’s mouth lifted up in a half-grin. “It’s just a stupid law. And, hey, maybe there’s more to me than meets the eye,” he winked as he moved around her to pour their glasses. 

Natasha laughed softly as she walked with him back to the couch.

“You wish, honey. I know you very well, too well, probably.”

They got settled and Steve gazed over at Natasha and smiled. 

“Yeah, and I love it.”

Then he hit play to resume the movie and ate and drank to their hearts content. When the movie was over, Natasha convinced Steve to watch High School Musical, but the sing and dance along version. 

They both had a pleasant buzz going, and Natasha could definitely handle her liquor, but something about being with Steve made her even more carefree. Hence how she ended up in her current situation — wine splashed all over her shirt and mouth wide, the beginnings of a laughing fit coming on. 

She’d gotten too caught up in Breaking Free and had been chair dancing like nobody’s business, pretending to sing as Gabriella and Steve as Troy, when she moved her arm a little to quickly and forcefully and ended up with wine sloshing out of the glass where she held it in her hand. She’d been bringing it up to her lips as a makeshift microphone and so when gravity pulled the liquid back down, it ended up all over the front of her shirt.

Steve froze immediately, and before she did, broke into hideous laughter that had him holding onto his left peck, head thrown back in glee. 

Natasha tried swatting at him to get him to stop but soon she was pulled in right along with him.

Somehow, they stopped for a moment long enough for Steve to look at her with real concern and ask, “are you okay?”

“Oh, _now_ you care,” Natasha deadpanned. 

“I do,” Steve agreed. “Can I get you anything? A towel?”

Natasha shook her head. “Do you have a shirt I could wear? I’d rather just change out of this completely.”

“Yeah! Be right back.” Steve dashed off to his room and came back only moments later, tossing a soft looking t-shirt at her.

“Here,” Natasha took it and inhaled the scent of _him_ while he spoke, “I usually wear it to bed, which means it’s big on me, which means it’ll definitely be big on you, but it’s comfy.”

“Thanks babe,” Natasha sent him a grateful smile.

And then, right there in the prominence of his living room, sitting on the couch with him less than an arm’s length away, she peeled her wet shirt off and tossed it on the ground. Steve was most definitely checking her out, but she didn’t seem to mind, until her arms reached around her back.

“Close your eyes,” she instructed. He did, and heard a shuffle of clothing, then “okay you can open.”

She was sitting there with his t-shirt on, but nothing else seemed different. He looked around, confused, and spotted her bra discarded, flung onto the floor with her shirt. He turned his focus back to her.

Natasha shrugged, “I didn’t think you would mind.”

Steve grinned, “I don’t,” and leaned in to kiss her.

Oddly enough, it wasn’t heated, but sweet and rather domestic. And that’s rather how the rest of their night turned out, too.

They put on another documentary and just like the night before, Natasha fell asleep with her head on Steve’s shoulder. 

Only, unlike the previous night, Steve drifted off to sleep, too…probably due to the wine, but no matter. He wasn’t awake to send her home and he was the most comfortable he’d been in ages, and so they both fell asleep on the couch.

* * *

They must’ve shifted positions sometime during the night because when Natasha awoke the next morning, she was lying flat on the couch, pretty much on top of Steve. He had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, skin against skin. _Curious,_ Natasha thought — not panicked like she’d have expected. She looked down to find her—his—shirt had ridden all the way up to just beneath her breasts. _Good, I know how he likes surprises,_ she mused _._

Steve shifted slightly beneath her and that’s when she felt something solid against the pit of her stomach. Her mind fully awake now, she gasped when she realized what it was, and then smiled what she was sure was a little devilish grin. 

Where he was pressing, though, was right near her bladder and suddenly the only thing Natasha could think about was having to pee. She tried to wiggle out of Steve’s grasp but he held her even tighter. The only solution she could think of was giving him a nice kiss to relax his muscles. Thankfully, it worked, and she was free!

When Natasha returned, she observed that it seemed her little escape had woken Steve up, because now he was blinking his eyes at her and giving her a sleepy smile. What Steve saw was a Natasha that was the picture of sleep, relaxation, and effortless beauty. His shirt was falling off one of her shoulders and her hair was mussed from sleep, skin glowing from having slept so well. And then she yawned and stretched like a cat and Steve cursed his anatomy for so easily betraying his feelings. 

If that was what waking up with her would be like, _god_ , he wanted to do it every day for the rest of his life. He was just about to call her back to bed when his phone buzzed loudly on the coffee table. 

Steve groaned, sending it to voicemail. It stopped for a blissful few seconds and then started again.

“Maybe you should get that,” Natasha suggested from where she was perched on his armchair. Her voice came out low and smokey, a mix he’d never heard from her before, and Steve found he was enraptured. 

The phone stopped. He gazed intently at her. She stood up, as though maybe she was going to come lay with him again, and the phone started again. Natasha chuckled, the moment was definitely broken. As she passed by the table she grabbed the phone and slid to answer, “hello?”

“Uh, hi?” The man on the other end sounded confused. “Is this — I’m calling for Steve Rogers?”

She put her hand over the microphone area and mouthed to Steve, “for you.”

He rolled his eyes but made no move to take the call. “No duh, it’s my phone.” 

She stuck her tongue out at him and continued her phone call. “This is Steve’s phone. Can I pass along a message? He’s right here but he’s just being LAZY”

Steve glared at her and Natasha smiled in utter delight.

“Steve? Stevie boy? Can you hear me?”

Indeed he could, as the man on the phone had presumably begun shouting into it, and then Steve jumped into action, motioning for Natasha to give him the phone.

“He’ll take your call now,” she rolled her eyes and handed the phone to Steve but didn’t move.

“Tony? What is it man, I’m kinda —“

“Busy? That’s what it sure sounded like. Damn Stevie finally got a _woman_. And staying the night! Honey, listen to this …” the man on the phone began shouting to someone in the distance, probably Pepper, and Steve interrupted, eager to get to the point.

“Tony — what’s up?”

“Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, hey listen Steve-o, just wanted to make sure you didn’t forget about the game today. But damn, if I’d known you were too busy going at it with your lady friend I would’ve found a backup.”

“I’m not — we’re not — Tony. I’m coming. I’m excited, dude.”

“Okay, buddy. I’ll see you a little later, then. And tell that beautiful sounding woman I say hello!”

“Goodbye Tony,” Steve hung up the phone with an amused shake of his head. 

Natasha peered at Steve expectantly when he hung up.

“Just a friend, Tony. I forgot we had plans to go the ball game today, I’m sorry Nat.”

Steve gave her those puppy dog eyes and she patted his cheek in consolation.

“It’s okay babe. It’s good for us to have friends, actually. I read that it’s not good for couples to spend every second together, anyway.”

“You’re the best, Nat,” he swung his legs off the couch and leaned forward to kiss her. “I’ll miss you, though.”

“Well, I’d be worried if you didn’t,” Natasha winked playfully at him, causing Steve to chuckle.

Then he stood and placed his hands around her waist and lifted her into the air before she could even blink. Natasha wrapped her legs around his waist and laughed freely as he spun her into the kitchen and set her down on the counter.

“Now what do you say about having some breakfast?”

“I think I can get behind that idea,” Natasha answered, still smiling wide. 

 

After Steve made a yummy breakfast of berry french toast and scrambled eggs, he let Natasha use his shower while he cleaned up. She came out still in a towel, but Steve quelled his desire when she asked timidly, “um, can I borrow some more clothes? I realized mine are kind of … unavailable.”

Steve set down the pan he was washing and walked over to her, setting his hands on her waist easily and dropping a kiss to her hairline. “Of course, follow me”

She ended up borrowing another t-shirt, one that Steve said was a little small on him, and some boxers and sweats that had a drawstring so they wouldn’t fall off of her.

Natasha went into the bathroom to change quickly and came back out with the conviction to finish the dishes while he got ready. She seemed so insistent that Steve agreed, and told her to help herself to any of his entertainment options when she was finished. 

He came out of the bedroom to find her poking around his record collection. 

“Next time you’re here we should go through those, find some that you like, help you get your own started.”

Natasha turned, slightly startled but regained her composure quickly. 

“You know, I think I would really like that.”

“Good,” Steve grinned. “Ready to go? I want to make sure I have enough time to drop you at home before I head to the game.”

Natasha nodded in understanding, albeit slowly, and Steve’s earlier guilt returned. But what she said was true. They both knew it. So he grabbed her bag of discarded clothes and his own personal items and ushered her out the door. She didn’t seem to want to drive today so Steve opened the passenger side door to his car for her and tossed the items in the back, then got in and off they went.

It was a relatively quick drive to her house, and they both noticed the still empty driveway when they arrived. 

Steve noticed Natasha’s hesitancy to get out of the car and so turned off the car and offered, “come on, I’ll walk you up.”

That got a little smile out of Natasha and she did as requested. She unlocked her front door and turned back to Steve, not wanting to say goodbye even though she knew logically she would see him the following day at school. This weekend was just too good and she wasn’t ready for it to be over yet.

Steve seemed to sense her inner thoughts because he cupped her cheeks with both his hands and then kissed her, long and chaste and passionate all at the same time, conveying his emotion and serving as a promise, too. 

When he finally pulled away he brushed away an errant strand of hair that had fallen in her face and brushed his thumb over her cheek softly. 

“I’m only a phone call or a text away, okay?”

Natasha gave him a small smile and nodded. 

“Have fun,” she said a little breathless - though she didn’t know if from the kiss or the emotion running through her.

Steve smiled at her again, touched and a little sad. He needed just a little bit more, and he guessed so did she. So he kissed her forehead quickly and then drew her into one of his biggest bear hugs yet. She hugged him back just as tight and it helped.

She laughed when they came apart. 

“Go on, or you’re going to be late,” she said lightly, giving him a shove. 

“Okay okay,” he started walking backwards, “bye, Nat.”

Natasha gave him a reassuring, warm smile, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Steve.”

 

As it turned out, she didn’t even have to wait that long. About an hour later, as she was doing laundry and wallowing a bit, she received a text from Steve. It was a selfie of him with the field in the background. Natasha’s eyes scanned the picture and were caught by the happiness radiating from his eyes. It was infectious and she found her own lips lifting into a smile.

Then her gaze was drawn to his upper arms. The shirt he was wearing was just a little too tight and at the angle he was holding the phone, his muscles were on display for her to salivate over. Natasha had to remind herself to let out the breath she’d been holding. But then she realized something — if his defined upper body was visible to her, it was visible to all the girls (and guys) that were at the game, and _in_ _person_.

She quickly typed out her response.

 

_You better be careful showing off those arms to all the poor unassuming girls, Rogers. ;)_

 

Natasha smiled to herself and put the phone back in her pocket, continuing on with her chores. She wasn’t expecting a response, but about 15 minutes later her phone buzzed again. 

 

_I know, right? They’ve already made you swoon… and that was without me even trying._

 

Natasha smiled despite herself but then let her sass take over in her response. She turned on the front-facing camera, snapped a picture of her flipping him off, and hit send without any words attached.

Steve responded after just a few minutes this time.

 

_Miss you too, Nat <3_

 

She pictured him laughing at her text and couldn’t help the fond grin that spread across her features. But she chose to leave it at that and let him pay attention to his game.

 

_Go enjoy your game. I’ll talk to you later :)_

 

She didn’t hear from him again, but it didn’t bother her, and Natasha was struck by how normal and.. strong.. this relationship had already become. She ruminated more and figured it was because they were already so close and comfortable and trusting just in their friendship. The thought of those good times and the promise of those to come brought a soft smile to her face.

She went about the rest of the day and as she was eating popcorn for dinner later that evening, her phone rang. It was Steve.

They had a normal conversation and Natasha was happy to hear that Steve had a good time. They laughed over a few stories he shared and she shared what she did that day and it was all just very domestic, as though they’d been in a relationship for a year, not a few days. They hung up to get ready for the following day and both went to sleep that night thinking of the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO. that was long - sorry. I was debating splitting it in half but I'm impatient and just wanted to get it all out there. Hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know your thoughts :)
> 
> Also, I have a question that will kind of dictate how I write the next chapters, so let me know your thoughts. How important is it to you as a reader to have the timeline explicitly stated. Like, do you need/like when writers say "the next day," "a few days had passed," etc? Or do you prefer excluding that and just focusing on the events of the story? If that didn't make sense, let me know lol I'm still trying to figure this out in my own head.
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!! Hope you all have pleasant days/evenings/lives <3


	16. Schooling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve & Natasha navigate their new relationship at school for the first time + a surprise visitor but I'd say more of an unwelcome trespasser

Natasha sat watching Steve closely, who was standing, pacing back and forth. He was talking animatedly about _something_ … she just didn’t know what, because her full attention was directed elsewhere. She was watching the way his muscles moved as he motioned with his arms, how he licked his lips which were chapped from speaking. But mostly her focus fell onto the way Steve’s eyes were bright with such zeal as he spoke. And so she noticed immediately when his eyes suddenly locked right onto hers. 

The emotion in them changed then to something softer and lighter, a twinkle appearing. Natasha didn’t dare look away, even as she failed to notice the small smile growing on her face — she couldn’t even if she tried. She was entranced and it only broke when Steve tore his gaze away to focus back on his lecture.

Natasha sighed then, slumping back into her seat and half-heartedly copying down notes. The bell rang but before she could leave to get to her next class, Steve called out, “Natasha, can I see you at my desk for a moment?”

The students that hadn’t run out yet all looked at her and she glared back, making them scatter quickly. She gave a little triumphant smile at that and walked up to Steve, who was now sitting and stacking up papers.

Steve looked up as she came to a stop at the side of the desk. “Hey,” he automatically smiled.

“Hey,” Natasha returned.

Steve moved his head around her to do a quick scan of the room and doorway. Feeling safe, he reached up and took her pinky finger in his, swaying them softly. Natasha would never let it show, but her heart jumped at the innocent gesture.

“Lunch?”

Natasha returned his gentle smile easily. “Okay.”

“Great! Okay,” he let go of her and squeezed her hand, “I’ll see you in my office.”

“Kay. I gotta get to my next class, but I’ll see you later.” 

Steve watched her go and despite the casual tone of voice she’d used, the purposeful sway of her hips told him everything he needed to know.

* * *

Steve looked up when his door opened just in time to see Natasha slide in and shut it behind her. 

“Hey!” he greeted with a wide smile.

“Hey,” she responded back with a surprisingly shy voice.

He studied her with a charmed grin as she moved towards his desk. When she sat down, his gaze didn’t let up and she quickly looked up, narrowing her eyes at him.

“What?”

He only smiled more and shook his head. 

“Nothing,” he got up and came around to her side, but passed her and she turned to watch him lock the door. She’d deny it if anyone ever asked, but a little thrill went through her at that. Then he came back to face her. “You’re just really cute,” he said and pressed his lips to hers. 

Natasha gasped in surprise but he was back in his seat by the time she blinked.  

“Wha — Steve…” Natasha warned, and then remembered what he said and spoke again before he had the chance. “Hey, I’m not cute.”

Steve smiled widely. “Yes you are.”

“No I’m not!” Natasha pouted.

He laughed now and motioned for her to come over by scooting his chair back and patting his lap. Natasha was still pouting but went anyway, straddling his lap and sighing in contentment at the closeness of their bodies. 

Steve wrapped his arms around her waist and immediately moved to snag her bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling before running his tongue along it. Natasha’s breath caught in her throat, but Steve pulled away before she could really react.

He was looking at her with a shit-eating grin as he said, “that’s for pouting. You can expect that the next time I see it, too.”

Natasha rolled her eyes but played along, “you know, that’s not giving me much of a reason not to.”

Steve’s eyes widened at the admission he took that for. “Oh well,” but he didn’t sound sad at all as he moved back in to kiss her. He stopped just centimeters short of her lips, teasing, and she knew it. 

Natasha closed the remaining distance and kissed Steve deeply. He responded immediately and pulled her closer. Natasha felt a line of heat run straight down her abdomen as she wrapped her arms around his neck and lost herself in the kiss. 

When they pulled apart for air, Steve thought now was a good time to gain the upper hand. “So what happened to no kissing in my office?” The breathlessness in his voice took away from the effect a bit, but he was still teasing and Natasha felt compelled to respond.

She shrugged. “I had a better idea — kissing in your office.”

Steve was still for a moment, confused. “But, that was my id—“

He was cut off by Natasha’s lips back on his. She smiled into it, wicked, for sure, but still so sweet, Steve thought, even as she spoke, muffled into his lips, “my idea.” She kissed him deeper before he could respond and Steve gave up, surrendering himself to the feeling.

They broke apart when Natasha’s stomach rumbled against Steve’s abdomen, laughter turning into soft gazing as they took in each other’s red and swollen lips and slightly disheveled hair. Steve spoke up first.

“Why don’t we eat and then you can tell me what was bothering you when you came in.”

Natasha looked up at him in surprise. 

“Yeah, that’s right. Don’t think you’re good at hiding those kinds of things from me.” He stood up, making her hop down. Natasha went to grab her lunch and bring it to the floor and sighed heavily. 

“Fine, but can we just enjoy lunch first?” she asked as she passed Steve to sit down on the floor. 

He smiled brightly and kissed her cheek before sitting across from her. 

Some twenty minutes later, Natasha was snuggled into Steve’s front, the side of her head resting on his chest, just under his chin. She was explaining the nastiness of high school girls and Steve was rubbing soothing lines up and down her arm, his other hand resting just above her knee. 

It was quite calming and Natasha found the stress leaving her body as she listened to the steady beat of Steve’s heart and inhaled the scent that was so uniquely him. She felt cocooned and safe and not for the first time, found herself with an immense appreciation for the man holding her. 

Natasha fell quiet as she mulled over everything, sinking deeper into his embrace as she got deeper into thought. Steve held her tighter and kissed the top of her head, afterwards muttering reassurances into her hair. He savored this moment and didn’t want to break it, but a thought popped into his mind and he just had to speak it aloud.

“Hey Nat,” he began softly. She hummed in acknowledgement. “Can I take you out tonight?” He wanted to take her on a date, make her feel valued, help her see how mature and wonderful she is. 

Natasha lifted her head and turned to look at him. Her eyes flitted around his face before locking onto his own baby blues. “You want to go on a date.. tonight?”

He nodded and gave her a small, genuine smile. 

Natasha blew out a breath. “I would love to, Steve,” she squeezed his hand, “but I have to work.” She almost pouted again but thought better of it, settling for an apologetic look and kiss on his throat. “But thank you, for wanting to do that, to lift my spirits. I know what you’re trying to do.” She conveyed her feelings through a sweet, soft smile directed at him.

“Oh, well that’s okay. I know you’ve gotta save up.” Steve mustered up his best signature boyish grin. “And hey! Who says we still can’t. I could pick you up and we could go to Denny’s, for all I care.”

“It’s a school night and I have a test tomorrow.” Steve looked a little deflated. “Maybe next time, babe. Plus, it’s the thought that counts.” Natasha patted his cheek before pecking his lips and standing up just as the bell rang. “Aaand that’s my cue.” 

Natasha turned to grab her backpack and leave before Steve stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Wait. Let me..” he couldn’t quite figure out the words so he just jumped right in, fixing her hair and wiping a smudge of color off the skin near her lips. He brushed his thumb over her bottom lip slowly, hesitating for a moment before pulling away and letting Natasha fix his own appearance. Once she was done, signaled by a little pat on his chest, he spoke again.

“Let me walk you.” She gave him a dubious look.

“Come on, Nat. If we go now, everyone is still packing up from lunch and chances are we won’t run into anyone.”

She sighed, finding herself unable to argue with those pleading eyes he was giving her. “Fine.. but no touching and keep a reasonable distance, okay?”

Steve unlocked the door and let go of her hand, instead placing it on her lower back to push her out the door and then dropping it to his side, as per her request.

They made it almost all the way to her classroom, joking and walking very close to one another — all sense of personal space had apparently been lost for the pair — without seeing anyone. But when they turned the corner at the end of the hallway, there was a woman just walking out of one of the rooms. 

She looked directly at them and Natasha felt her heart stop for a minute. The woman approached them with a smile and Steve could feel Natasha inching away. 

“Hey Steve!” the woman called out. She arrived in front of them and grabbed onto one of Steve’s arms where he had crossed them across his chest.

“Hey Kristen,” Steve gave a friendly smile. “Natasha, do you know Ms. Rothstein? She teaches Statistics.”

Natasha shook her head. “I don’t believe I had you — I was in AP… But, hi, I’m Natasha.” She stuck out a hand politely and the woman — _Kristen_ — took it before turning her attention back to Steve. Natasha basically became invisible and as more students started filing into the hallway, she made eye contact with Steve and then took that as her chance to leave. She walked into her classroom with one thought in mind — her boyfriend was absolutely oblivious. 

* * *

Natasha’s time with Steve was interrupted or cancelled by the presence of Ms. Rothstein four more times that week. Steve was apologetic and made up for it by being extra sweet when they did see each other, but he was still blind to the woman’s clear efforts at flirting. By Friday, Natasha had had it. He was _her_ boyfriend, for pete’s sake!

So she rushed out of the class she had before lunch to make it to Steve’s office before that woman beat her to it again. Luck seemed to be in her favor as she saw through Steve’s open door that he was, blessedly, alone. 

She rushed in and looked around quickly before shutting and locking the door. Her backpack fell with a thump on the ground on her way to his chair. She settled on top of him and immediately scooted forward to bury her hands in his hair then kissed him like her life depended on it.

Steve was confused for a few seconds before that was drowned out by another feeling. He responded enthusiastically, eventually losing contact with Natasha as she pulled her lips away to both let him breathe and attack his neck and jaw with wet, open mouthed kisses and little bites here and there. He moaned when she reached his weak spot and she immediately jumped back up to keep him quiet by covering his lips with her own.

She was just about to sneak her hands up his shirt when the door knob jiggled. They both froze for a second, waiting for something else, but after a few seconds nothing came so they moved back in to pick up where they left off.

A few more seconds of being reconnected at the lips and the intruder, finding that the door was locked, proceeded to knock. Natasha pulled back with a heavy sigh and peered up to find Steve’s eyes wide.

Before she knew what was happening, Natasha was watching Steve try to smooth out his appearance while frantically instructing her to hide under his desk. She was ushered under there and the next thing she knew, the door was being opened and from the sound of it, surprise surprise, it was Kristen. 

Natasha had to hold back a groan when she heard the woman’s wanna-be sultry voice. “Hello, Steven.”

“Oh, hey Kristen,” Natasha could practically see Steve rubbing a hand across the back of his neck, “what’s up?”

“May I come in?” But before Steve could answer she was already pushing past him and came to sit on the edge of the desk so Natasha could see her legs crossing as she presumably leaned back. Soon enough Steve returned to his seat and moved it a bit backwards, trying to draw any possible attention away from where Natasha was hidden. 

“So why was your door locked, anyway? I’m sure you know about the administration’s open-door policy…” Kristen asked.

“Oh, right. Of course. I - I was just trying to take a quick nap.” Natasha could see how his bashful look turned to a purposeful pleading one, complete with the charming smile and all, as he continued. “Do you think you could keep this just between us? It would mean a lot to me.”

Natasha rolled her eyes and had to hold back a snort at his effort, and even more when Kristen responded in kind. 

“Oh of course, handsome. After all, I want to have a strong foundation for a relationship —“ Natasha choked on her own breath at that and Steve had to cover with a cough of his own — “with someone I’m going to be chaperoning this retreat with!”

Steve gave her a confused look.

“You didn’t hear? Yes, silly! We’re basically co-leading the whole thing! Isn’t that great?!”

Now she was off the desk and leaning over to give Steve a hug. He patted her back awkwardly in return and then she stood up straight.

“Well, I originally came here to talk to you about that but I suppose I’ll let you get some rest and we can meet some other time to plan.” She leaned down to press a lingering kiss to his cheek. “See you around, Steve,” she said with a flirtatious lilt to her voice and little wave, and then she was gone. 

Steve jumped up to lock the door again and then Natasha crawled out, standing and looking annoyed.

“Nat — “ Steve started, but she cut him off. 

“So you did know. That she was flirting with you,” she clarified.

“Uhh, yeah,” and now she could actually see Steve rubbing the back of his neck nervously. 

“How long did it take you to figure it out?”

“I only just kind of realized it yesterday, but right now just confirmed it,” Steve answered honestly.

“Well it’s about time! God, Steve, I’ve had to watch her be all over you _all week_.” Natasha sighed, continuing, “Does this at least mean you’re going to stop leading her on now?”

“Yes, of course, Nat. I didn’t realize. I’m sorry. You know I — I’m devoted to you, right?” She nodded and Steve wrapped her in a hug. When he spoke again she could feel his chin moving. “She’s just… I’ll figure out a way to let her down, okay?”

Natasha nodded against the material of his shirt and returned the hug. “I’m just glad you realized it. Now I can have back my private time with my man,” she looked up at him and winked. 

Steve chuckled before leaning down and kissing her forehead, drawing her back in again. “I’m yours. All yours, Tash.”

That made Natasha feel so much, for some reason, and she couldn’t contain the affectionate smile that spread across her lips at the enigma that was Steve Rogers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the adventure continues! please let me know your thoughts and any ideas you may have. I'm writing two chapters at the moment because my brain just keeps jumping around, but if I can, I'd love to fit your ideas in!  
> also - Kristen the Statistics teacher shall return! DUN DUN DUNNN. ;)
> 
> thanks for reading!!! all your support and knowing that you're enjoying this means the world to me <3


	17. Dating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's first date time!

Natasha rushed to finish applying her mascara as her phone buzzed on her dresser. 

 

_Outside :)_

 

She smiled, a little nervous, and took one last look at herself before grabbing her things and heading down the stairs and out her front door. She had no clue where Steve was taking her - he only said to dinner - so she decided to go not too dressy, but not too casual either. She was wearing a long dress with her hair up, a braid around the crown of her head and meeting in a low bun at the base of her skull. Some wisps of hair had come free and they blew in the gentle breeze. Steve was leaning against his car but stood up straight when he saw her. He didn’t speak or move, just stood, staring. Natasha fidgeted under his gaze, tucking the fly-aways behind her ear nervously. Finally he seemed to snap out of it and came to stand in front of her.

She blew out a breath. “Hi,” she half-whispered with a small smile.

He smiled back, bright as ever, eyes twinkling with adoration. “Ma’am,” he returned. “You look … beautiful doesn’t even begin to cover it.” Steve took her hand in his and placed a kiss atop it. Natasha could feel her cheeks heating up at the innocent gesture. 

“Sweet talker,” she teased to cover up her odd emotions. “And you don’t look too bad yourself.” She placed her hands on his chest and leaned in to press her lips to Steve’s and he easily participated for a few seconds before pulling back.

“Shall we?” Steve asked, offering his arm which Natasha took, and he escorted her to his car. 

He opened the door for her, then ran around to get in the drivers seat, and as he pulled away from the curb, the questions began. 

“So what time are our reservations for?” She tried to determine whether or not it was the kind of place that required reservations, but Steve knew her too well.

“I’m not telling you where we’re going, Nat, so you should probably just settle in. It’s going to be about 25 minutes until we get there.”

Natasha’s eyebrow quirked up at that. “So we’re heading out of the city, then.” It was more a statement than a question but Steve replied anyway.

“Yeah, I’ll give you that much. I thought it’s better, you know, for security’s sake, plus it’s —“ Natasha sat up, at attention, but Steve caught himself before saying anymore. “You know what, never mind. You’ll just have to wait and see.” He shot her a mischievous but, all the same, charming grin, and she rolled her eyes but surrendered anyway.

It was a Saturday evening, which meant the local spots would all be full with teenagers, and neither of them wanted to risk being seen, so Natasha was grateful Steve was being so thoughtful and Steve, well, he was just grateful he was alive, in this moment.

The rest of the ride passed in good conversation and comfortable silence, too. When they finally arrived, Steve opened Natasha’s door and immediately put his hand over her eyes, wanting to keep it a surprise for as long as possible. He guided her to the front of the building and took his hand away. She looked at the exterior and then back at him, a questioning and somewhat amused gaze. 

“This is where you’re taking me on our first date?”

Steve wasn’t deterred. His eyes bore into hers and then he shrugged, a smirk playing at his lips as he simply said, “look down.”

Intrigued, she did, and found stairs behind a railing leading down, beneath the pavement. When she quickly looked back up at Steve, his eyes were filled with anticipation and she was sure hers twinkled with the same. 

“Is this —” she started to ask and Steve read her mind. He nodded swiftly, “come on, let’s go down.” Now that he saw how curious she was, he was even more excited to take her inside. 

They got to the door - red painted wood - and Steve opened it for her, of course. Natasha was just turning back from thanking him when her eyes fell upon the restaurant. Her jaw fell open a bit and her eyes went wide. It was like she’d just stepped into a different era. 

Still stunned, she was taking it all in when Steve placed a gentle hand on her back and whispered into her ear from behind, “come on, there’s so much more to see.”

She looked up at him in awe and nodded dumbly. Steve gave her a small smile and slide his hand to her arm, then down it, and laced their fingers together, giving a little squeeze before walking them further into the restaurant. 

It seemed to be a mix of styles — classic and eccentric, but most definitely old. And Natasha _loved_ it. Steve seemed to know exactly what she would like… she really shouldn’t be surprised anymore. But when she looked over at him, it wasn’t like this was all just for her, though she’s sure that was his initial thinking. His eyes were just as gleeful as hers. There was no mistaking the sense of comfort and content radiating from him and Natasha moved closer to him as they walked to their table, wanting to absorb some of that for herself.

She was back to normal by the time they sat down, though her eyes couldn’t seem to focus on one thing, roving back and forth over the interior facade. Steve was sure he was grinning like a madman. He’d dropped her hand to push her chair in and when he came around to his side to sit, she picked it right back up and folded her palm under his on the table. 

Natasha’s gaze finally landed on him and she was smiling too, but it turned into a little laugh as she questioned, “what?” at the look on his face.

Steve’s eyes had gone soft, he could feel it, and he was too warm inside to hide anything from her. “I just keep thinking… this is like a dream come true.”

Natasha didn’t say anything in response but she didn’t have to, her soft smile and twinkling eyes told him she shared the feeling. 

The waiter came and went and they placed their orders. The conversation flowed easily, which left Steve and Natasha both internally relieved — having worried slightly that being on an official date would make things different, but it didn’t, and they’re glad.

The food came and it was _amazing_. Not only did the place have that vintage charm they both love, but the meals that they ultimately ended up sharing were incredible. They couldn’t help but feel they stumbled upon some wonderful secret, one that they were definitely keeping between them. 

Steve ordered an Irish Coffee with dessert and Natasha went for a glass of port wine, feeling gutsy tonight. The waiter didn’t even blink an eye and after he left, Natasha smiled victoriously at Steve, who just shook his head in a silent laugh. _God, he was crazy about this girl_. 

“Are you enjoying yourself?” It was asked in a slightly teasing tone, but he really did want to know, just wanted to make sure, wanted to hear her say it. 

Like always, Natasha seemed to know his sincerity behind asking the question and responded in earnest, “I am. I really am.” She punctuated her statement with a quick brush of her lips atop his knuckles. 

“You know, this is the first real date I’ve ever been on…” 

She said it casually enough, light, as though just continuing the conversation, but Steve stilled at her words. Sensing his sudden tenseness, Natasha looked up, searching his face and quirking an eyebrow. 

Steve blew out a breath. “You mean to tell me… that no one has ever taken you out? On a proper date?”

Natasha shrugged. “I mean I’ve met up with people at parties and for the occasional group movie date…”

Steve shook his head, still in his daze of disbelief, talking out loud almost like he was speaking his inner thoughts without realizing it. “No one’s ever.. treated you like the way you should be treated.. put the effort into planning something worthy of your value..  that would show you how much you matter, how much respect you deserve..”

Natasha let him have his moment, internally fluttering with the emotion that had spread through her at his words. No, she’d never had any of that. Only guys who’d wanted her for her body or to boost their own reputation or because she was simply there. She was used to it, but Steve… Steve was making her believe, _showing_ her that she was entitled to more than that. She needed to break him out of his thoughts.

Gently, she pressed her fingers into his palm, trying to draw his attention. The pressure worked and he looked up at her, eyes betraying him and he knew it. He was sure she saw the anger and deep deep affection and the desire to make this right all swirling together. But Natasha just returned to rubbing soothing circles and tracing patterns on his hand absentmindedly. 

“Steve,” her voice was so soft when she spoke, emotion almost seeping through it. “I haven’t had that. But it doesn’t matter,” she continued, treading gently to make sure he was listening, “because now you’re here to do all of that. I trust you to.. to treat me right, the way you say I’m supposed to be treated. And I’m _glad_ it’s you and no one else showing me the ropes.” Her voice turned lighter at the end and she smiled, hoping it conveyed everything she was trying to say. 

It seemed to get through to Steve, to be exactly what he needed to hear, because then he was smiling back at her with that brilliant grin. It made sense to him, and she wasn’t lying when she said it, he knew that, so he gave in. “You’re right, Nat. I’m glad I get to be the first.” _And hopefully the only_ , his mind traitorously supplied. They weren’t there yet, _shut up,_ he argued with himself _._ But he knew it was true. 

“You’re going to feel like a queen, I’ll show you.” He spoke with such confidence and definitiveness that she just accepted it.

“Okay,” she smiled, truly looking forward to it. 

“Thank you,” Steve responded and leaned across the table to kiss her… he couldn’t help it, the moment was too right. 

It lasted long enough that the waiter had to clear his throat when he returned with their desserts and drinks, and they jumped apart, both flushing pink and sheepishly stammering out apologies. The waiter just smiled warmly and walked away, marveling at young love and remembering the days when he and his wife were like that, back before his hair had turned white and his worsening vision required him to wear these boxy wire-framed glasses.

After that, Steve and Natasha kept stealing glances at each other, the blush remaining on both their cheeks as they got lost in their own thoughts. Natasha caught Steve, though — just once, but it was enough to make her smile devilishly and place her hand on his knee under the table, swiping gently, just high enough to make sure he knew this wasn’t just some innocent gesture. 

Steve’s grip tightened on his glass for a moment when he felt her touch and his eyes shot over to hers. He sent her a warning look when he saw the mirth dancing across her features. But she only grinned cheekily and brushed her thumb even higher. He placed a hand over hers to still her movements. 

“Natasha,” he meant to caution her, to get her to stop, but his voice came out lower than normal and he swallowed, annoyed at his body, before trying again. “Tasha, come on. The night’s not over yet and even if it was, you know…”

She understood was he was saying and withdrew her hand, though not before squeezing, making him jump a little. She laughed and stood, leaning down to whisper in his ear as she headed for the restroom, “You’re right, the night’s not over yet. But I do believe that first date means first base.” If her warm breath on his ear didn’t send his mind reeling, the clear meaning behind her words and the little nip she gave to his earlobe before leaving certainly did. Really she didn’t make any sense, first dates definitely didn’t necessarily mean first base, but whatever, it was them, and he certainly wouldn’t be the one to tell her that. 

While she was in the bathroom, Steve paid the bill, thankful for perfect timing, for once. Steve stood when she came back and held out his arm. “Ready?”

Natasha took it. “Such a gentleman,” but her tone wasn’t teasing, just loving every minute of this.

Steve grinned, “anything for my princess.” He kissed her temple and they left the wondrous restaurant behind. 

He drove her home and stood on her front porch and kissed her tenderly, like a proper first date but without most of those usual jitters. He pulled away and knew he should go, but he didn’t want the night to end yet, and it seemed neither did she, as her arms remained wrapped around his neck. 

“I don’t want the night to be over yet,” she whispered. 

Steve sighed, brushing his thumb across her hip. “Neither do I.” Then he thought of something and looked around, noting the lack of vehicles in the driveway again. “Your parents aren’t home…” Natasha shook her head though he wasn’t really asking. “Do you want.. I know this isn’t proper first date etiquette but.. do you want to come over? You don’t have to spend the night or anything, just.. we can spend a couple more hours together.”

His suggestion was tempting and Natasha bit her lip as she considered his proposal. That of course drew his eyes’ attention and when Natasha was ready to decide, she saw where he was staring, and was moving before she had the chance to stop herself. 

She pressed her lips to his in a searing, passionate kiss, and Steve responded immediately and with equal enthusiasm, still on edge from dinner earlier. 

“Why don't … you just … come in… come inside…” she breathed into his lips between kisses. 

Steve only grunted in response and pushed her against the door. His hand roamed down to her ass and she pushed up against him, gasping. But then she felt that he was fumbling around in her pockets and she realized he was just trying to find her house key. She laughed softly, breathless, and guided his hand to where they were. He grinned up at her and she couldn’t help the way her gaze shifted when she took in his mussed hair, swollen lips, flushed skin. He pulled her close again with an arm around her waist and placed the key in the lock, turning it, opening it, and swinging around, pulling her inside. 

He made a show of locking the door and when he pushed her back up against it, Natasha began giggling uncontrollably, giddy with excitement and nerves on end from his touch and the thoughts of what was to come. 

Instead of moving back in to kiss her, Steve let her laugh, laughter bubbling out of himself, too, and gave them both a moment to catch their breath. Natasha regained control of herself and pushed herself off the door. 

“Come on, my room is upstairs.”

“I remember,” Steve said somewhat mysteriously. Then he pulled her hand and twisted her back to face him, hands moving quickly after that to grab her waist and lift her into the air. Natasha near squealed but locked her ankles behind him automatically, hands grasping together behind his neck. 

Somehow, he got them up the stairs and into her room while simultaneously mouthing kisses down her neck and across her jaw. 

She was damn near breathless again when he unceremoniously dropped her onto the bed and crawled over her. 

Her body shuddered with excitement when he hovered over her, leaning down so their lips were almost touching before saying, “first base only.” 

Then he pressed his lips to hers, slowly moving with her. He gradually built up the pressure until he was licking at the seam of her lips, asking for entrance. She granted it willingly, a bit dazed at how slow and careful Steve was being. She’d never been kissed like this before, like someone wanted to take their time with her. When his tongue connected with hers she decided to _stop thinking_ and just feel. They poured themselves into the moment, the physical connection like a pathway for their emotions to travel down, to connect on that deeper level. 

Tongues twisted together, battling for dominance every now and then when one of their stubborn streaks flared up. Natasha felt like she might choke at the sheer _abundance_ of feelings — inside and out — and pulled away with a gasp. Steve was not phased, simply moving without conscious thought to her neck. He made his way down, pressing heavy kisses along the way and stopping to pay special attention to her pulse point. He watched it flutter for a moment with the shallow breaths she was taking and then he moved in, sucking, then brushing his lips against in it a chaste kiss, then sucking again and licking and eventually taking it between his teeth, biting ever so gently. This drew a loud exhale, bordering on a moan, out of Natasha and he stilled for a moment, as did she, seemingly shocked that she made that noise. But then he was moving again, to the dip where her neck met her collarbone and she whimpered, “Steve.”

He stopped, immediately, and moved back over her, examining her face with worried eyes for any clues to her inner thoughts. She barely gave him a few seconds before she was placing a hand on his cheek and guiding him down so she could kiss him. This one was her speaking to him without uttering a single word. ‘ _Amazing_. Thank you. But it’s time to let up now.’ 

Natasha was smart enough, in tune with her body enough to know that if they kept going, she wouldn’t want to stop at all, and she owed to Steve, and to herself, to take this slow. 

She felt a hand accidentally brush against her arm and she realized that this entire time, Steve hadn’t touched her, not more than to steady himself or move her hair out of the way. He really was serious about doing this according to what he thought was the proper way. And she had to admit, her heart melted a little bit more at that. At the knowledge that he wanted to wait, to show her that he wanted her for _her_ , not (just) her body. She wasn’t stupid, she knew that’s what he was trying to accomplish with this, but she found that she appreciated it, the sentiment, him. 

Steve lifted his head and gazed down at her, desire swirling amidst other emotions but adoration shining above all. He had this little dopey grin seemingly permanently fixed to his face and Natasha’s lips lifted into a smile as well. 

“Walk me out?” Steve’s words came out as nothing more than a breath. 

Natasha nodded and he backed down to the edge of the bed, sliding off and standing, then holding a hand out to pull her up as well. 

They walked silently down the stairs, hand in hand, until they reached the front door. Steve turned to face Natasha and smiled again, trying to charm his way through the hesitation he could feel radiating from her. He made a quick decision and wrapped his arms around her in a warm, comforting hug, pressing a kiss to her forehead, then the bridge of her nose, then her eyelids that had fluttered shut at his embrace. A sigh left her body and she tilted her face up for a chaste kiss. He obliged and then, when they came apart and she buried her face in his chest, he spoke into the hair on the top of her head. “Goodnight, Nat.”

She pulled back, peering up at him with big eyes, hopeful and fearsome at the same time. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” It was their normal coffee/tutoring non-date and she wanted to make sure it was still happening though they saw each other tonight… that it was still a regular thing at all, now that they were dating.

“Of course,” Steve smiled, reassuring her. He ran a hand through her hair, scratching gently at the base of her skull, seeming a little lost in thought. “I had a great time tonight,” he said, now looking directly into her eyes, into her _soul_ , it felt like. 

Natasha couldn’t help the small, sincere smile that took up residence on her face. “Me too. Thank you for a wonderful night, Steve Rogers.”

Steve chuckled softly. “Thank _you_ for being with me, Natalia Romanova,” returned with the hint of a smirk.

Natasha’s eyes grew wide with surprise. “What? How did you —“

“I saw, on the music box on your dresser. Sorry, if—” he interrupted himself, “I was curious and glanced around earlier and just.. saw it.”

Natasha smiled softly and reached up to touch his face gently. “It’s alright, Steve. More than alright. I want you to know my birth name, my Russian name, I want you to know me.” 

He couldn’t help but lean down to kiss her again after that. _Man, she’s special_ , Steve thought to himself. 

Natasha giggled and Steve realized he must’ve said that out loud. Oops. But he found he didn’t care because then she was giving him another little peck and opening the door. 

“Alright you sap, get outta here. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Steve laughed and did as he was told, giving a little wave from inside his car before he drove away.

Natasha smiled to herself as she shut the door. _I can’t believe I’m dating such a dork_ , she lightly shook her head at herself. Then her thoughts turned — _a hot dork, though, and so sweet. so caring, and passionate, I can feel it when we kiss_ — and just like that, she knew she wouldn’t be going to sleep right away. 

When her head did finally hit the pillow — and hit it did, harshly — she fell asleep almost instantly, body now sagging from exertion and mind at peace as she thought of Steve. She dreamt of when they were just friends, before they got together, and with the recognition of how they got here, _that_ they got here, she was smiling throughout her whole sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh aren't they just the sweetest?  
> Hope you enjoyed! Any guesses who the waiter was? ;) Let me know your thoughts pretty please!!
> 
> Coming up in the next few chapters (in no particular order, because I am literally flushing out five ideas right now and I think they each deserve their own -- and yes, my brain is a mess) ... the retreat, the return of Sarah Rogers, an appearance from Clint Barton, a bit of heavy emotion, the second official date, Kristen from Statistics, and a 3-day weekend.


	18. Sharing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here we have more fluff, of course, the non-speaking-role return of everyone's fav, Kristen, a very recognizable kiss ;) and then some kinda emotional stuff and eventually happy ending

Natasha walked into the coffee shop the next morning to find Steve already sat and waiting at a table in the back corner. His back was to her and she took this opportunity to stare at him for a moment. His shirt was pulled deliciously against his back and she could clearly see the outline of his muscles and the shape of his torso - broad shoulders and small waist … _damn_ she was lucky, she thought to herself. 

She stepped forward then and as she came around to take her seat, she pinched his waist, causing Steve to jump, and kissed his cheek quickly — barely a blur of red hair before she was sat directly in front of Steve. 

He just chuckled and smiled, far too cheery for it being 8:30am on a Sunday, in Natasha’s opinion. “Morning Nat. Thanks for the wake-up call,” he joked.

“My pleasure,” she responded cheekily.

“Have much to do today?”

Natasha sighed. “Yeah I actually have a ton of history stuff to finish up for my project. I don’t know why on earth I chose Russia…”

“Why did you?” Steve prodded, knowing from last night that she was Russian at least in name, but wanting to know the full story.

Natasha of course caught onto this and looked up at him with narrowed eyes, but replied nonetheless. “Not many people know this, but I’m actually from Russia.”

Steve’s eyes widened just slightly and Natasha continued. “Yeah, I know. I mean, I was only there til I was 11, so I do feel more American than Russian but.. it’s part of me.”

Before Steve could stop himself, he was speaking. “Why did you leave?” He regretted it the moment the question left his mouth because immediately, Natasha’s eyes became sadder. However, she decided that she trusted him enough to open up about this and let a bit of her emotions show. 

“My parents, um,” she fidgeted in her seat and looked down to where her hands were clasped together on the table. 

“Hey, you don’t have to.. sorry I asked. You don’t have to tell me, it’s okay,” Steve tried with a soft smile as he placed his hand over hers.

Natasha looked at their hands, then up at him, and let out a breath. “No, no. I want to. Like I said, I want you to know me.” Steve nodded for her to continue. “When I was 11 my parents died. Our house somehow caught on fire and I got myself out and I just.. I thought that they were adults, you know, they would get themselves out, too, but I waited and waited and they never came and I knew. I just knew.. and then Ivan, my adoptive father, came and took me away - I guess someone called him - and that was it.” She took her hand out from under Steve’s to wipe a few tears away that had fallen. “We moved to the US a couple weeks later and I’ve been here ever since.” 

“Nat…” Steve began softly, not really knowing what to say. 

Natasha shrugged, walls going back up without her even really meaning to. “It is what it is. It was seven years ago, I’ve changed a lot since the days of Natalia Romanova. Don’t even really know who she is anymore… we’re basically two different people. I can hardly imagine being so full of the blissful ignorance and optimism she had.” She leaned back casually and took a sip of her drink, as if she hadn’t just admitted some very personal things - sad things, Steve thought.

“Don’t say that, Nat. You may not be Natalia anymore, may not be a youthful kid anymore, but that doesn’t mean you’re not still a wonderful person. I didn’t choose to date Natalia, I chose Natasha. Because Natasha herself is amazing, generous, and hopeful in her own way. You care about people, Nat, and you want to change things for the better, that must mean that you have some hope in there somewhere. I see it when you make me laugh and you laugh in turn. When you get that sneaky, playful look in your eyes… You have a bright spirit, Natasha. Don’t ever doubt that. I think if you looked, you’d find that little Natalia is still in there.”

Natasha had to remind herself to breathe. Steve’s little monologue worked and now she found herself feeling more whole than she had since thinking about her past the previous night. She smiled sweetly and squeezed his hand, “you always know the right things to say, don’t you?”

Steve blushed and looked sheepish. “I mean —“

“Steve.” Suddenly Natasha looked alarmed. She’d glanced up as the door to the cafe had opened and saw none other than Kristen from Statistics walk in. She was looking around, probably trying to find a place to sit, but Natasha panicked. They could _not_ be recognized here, _especially_ not by her. And of course, her great idea was

“Kiss me.”

Steve looked at her with wide eyes. “What?”

“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable,” Natasha explained like it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Yes, they do,” Steve responded. “So why here? Na—“

Before she had finished, she’d leaned across the table and pulled his face into hers, effectively locking their lips in a very showy.. smooch..was the only word to really describe it. 

Natasha only pulled away once she saw Kristen take a seat on the other side, facing away from them. 

She couldn’t help but laugh at Steve’s confused but still flushed expression. “Your lady friend Kristen is here,” she explained.

Steve’s eyebrows shot up and he went to look around, but Natasha didn’t let him. 

“Stop, stop! Do you _want_ her to notice us?”

Steve shook his head. 

“Then don’t move so much. It draws attention to yourself.” She paused to scan the room — from her seat she could examine everything without a lot of motion. “What do you say we sneak out of here?”

Steve trusted her, and agreed with a nod. “We can go back to my place and finish up our work,” he suggested.

“Sounds good. Come on,” she took his hand and as they walked through the cafe to the door, had one last plan in place to avoid unwanted attention.

“Put your arm around me, laugh at something I said.” Steve gave her a questioning look. “Do it.”

He did as instructed and faked a laugh as they walked right by where Kristen might have seen them. Steve internally thanked God he had such a clever girlfriend. 

Once they got outside he didn’t let go, but moved his arm down to her waist and held her close. “I’m lucky you’re so smart,” he commented with a charming grin and kiss to her temple. 

“Mhm, maybe next time you’ll listen to me without question,” she arched an eyebrow in his direction. Steve just chuckled and agreed, handing her a helmet as he hopped on his motorcycle. 

They spent the rest of the day together at Steve’s apartment. Somehow they managed to get their work done by the early evening, so afterwards they just decided to watch a movie and cuddle. It was comfortably silent and allowed Steve some time to think. He’d had this question in his mind since she talked about Russia that morning and was trying to decide whether or not he should ask when Natasha decided for him. 

“What is it, Steve?” 

He had the decency to look surprised, so Natasha explained, “I can practically hear the thoughts running around your head.”

“Oh. Well, it’s nothing really, I was just wondering… um.. do you… I know you said Natalia is in the past but,” Natasha caught on to where this was going but let Steve finish, “do you want me to call you Natalia? I mean, that’s your name. But Natasha is, too! And I … I just want to do right by you, I guess. Whatever you want. I just wanted to make sure.”

Steve was quite adorable when he was trying to be so ridiculously nice and Natasha just had to ruffle his hair a little bit before pecking him on the lips. 

“You can call me whatever you want, Steve. I am Natasha, and that’s what I’m used to, but I have to admit… hearing my real name come off your tongue — Natalia — I like it.”

Steve grinned, then. “Okay. Princess Natashalia it is,” he said cheekily and leaned in for a kiss. Natasha put both her hands on his chest to stop him before he could reach his destination. “No! Oh my god, no. Not that.”

Steve smiled, knowing he would get that reaction from her. “Mm fine. If you say so…” he gave in and completed his journey when she removed her hands from his chest, meeting her in a sweet brush of his lips against hers. “… Natalia,” he murmured against her lips. Natasha felt a shiver run down her spine at the sound of her Russian name in his now low voice and knew then that she had definitely made the right decision in sharing this part of herself with him. 

Not just for the physical aspects, but because she really did trust him and just based on how much he cared about this, she had a feeling he would help her deal with this in a productive way. Although … “not at school, though,” she pulled back from the kiss to set this very important rule, “and definitely no telling anyone else… especially Kristen from Statistics, since I know the two of you are so close,” she teased at the end, winking to let him know for sure that she was teasing.

“Hilarious,” Steve rolled his eyes. “But seriously, Nat, you don’t have anything to worry about. I’m going to talk to her the first time I see her this week, and you’re secret is safe with me.” 

Natasha leaned up to kiss Steve again and a thought came to her mind, one that she wasn’t sure she should voice, but decided to say and hope for the best. After she pulled back she looked down and quietly said, “you could call me Солнышко … it’s what my father called me.”

“It’s beautiful,” Steve spoke softly. “What does it mean?” he asked as a he tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear.

The corners of Natasha’s mouth turned up in a smile at the memory, “little sun.”

“Perfect. For my sunshine.” He kissed the crown of her head and tucked her in close to his side. Despite Steve’s best efforts to get her to feel better, there was a lingering sense of sadness about Natasha. “Tell me about them — your parents,” he suggested as he stroked her hair. He hoped that by helping her bring up happy memories, he could lift the sense of loss that surrounded all thoughts of her past. 

Natasha smiled, still a bittersweet one, and began telling Steve stories from when she was a child. The movie long since paused, he gave her his full attention and watched as her features became lighter, as if a weight was being slowly lifted off her shoulders as she reached back into the past.

He felt something important was happening there. She was opening up to him. It was a sign of going into this wholeheartedly. Feeling grateful, Steve made a silent promise to himself to give as much of his past to her, when the opportunity arose. 

As the day wore on, Steve learned that Natalia dreamt of being a ballerina. Her parents sacrificed a lot to pay for the best lessons and equipment. Little Natalia understood that, even at such a young age, and paid them back as best she could by staying out of trouble and getting good grades in school.

Steve had smiled at that, eyes crinkling with warmth, and commented, “sounds a lot like someone I know now.” Natasha returned his grin with one of her own and seemed to fall back into her thoughts as she pensively replied, “guess some things did stay the same.”

She shook herself out of her inner musings and continued, sharing with Steve her favorite Russian foods, and showed off how she could list off all the great Russian authors and their most famous literary works. Knowing Steve liked art, too, she pulled out her phone and played a little game of whether he could guess the artwork — all her favorite pieces done by Russian artists, of course. 

In all this story-telling, Steve most of all saw very clearly that Natasha missed her parents and her childhood, out of sadness, yes, but also largely because it was just so happy. He could never imagine being orphaned at such a young age, when parental guidance is really so critical and desired, and he was in awe of her even more for becoming the incredible young woman sitting in front of him. And he told her as much when he dropped her off at her front porch later that evening.

“You’re amazing, Nat. I hope you know that. After all that you went through.. and you didn’t fall off the wagon. No, you stayed the course and came out the other side a remarkable woman, an extraordinary human being.”

And if she didn’t kiss him for that, she would be calling _herself_ crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Солнышко (pronounced solynshko) means Little Sun in Russian - the internet told me so.
> 
> So that's that! I really do hope you enjoyed it. I know it was kinda like two very different feelings in the first and second halves, so hopefully I didn't confuse your souls too much.   
> As you can see, I very loosely borrowed Nat's background from the comics and lots of other fics that I'm sure you've all read too, but the most important thing is that she was there for long enough to really have something to compare her current life to, and that she remembers her parents. That's something that was important for me - to give her that, at least. So she could have some happy memories to look back on instead of none at all. 
> 
> and - escalator kiss, anyone? ;) I "had" to watch the clip on YouTube for "research" for this chapter and ugh, let me say, what a drag ;)
> 
> anyway please please let me know your thoughts!! I'm writing a bit of angst right now but also just wrote the best damn sentence in the world and I'm so excited for you all to read what's next!


	19. Dealing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically laughing + dealing with a kind of recurring problem

Two whole days went by once the new school week started before Kristen approached Steve again — it had to be some sort of new record. She sauntered into his classroom before his next class was scheduled to begin and leaned against his desk, trying to look as sexy but casual as possible - but of course Steve just found it humorous, though he didn’t let it show.

She started out with polite small talk before jumping into the reason she was there. In a suddenly much lower voice, she asked, “so should we schedule our first meeting for, say, tonight at 7?”

Steve had to hold back his guffaw, coughing and pretending to be nervous to cover it up. Then he realized this was his opportunity to let her down — and he seized it.

“Listen, Kristen,” he started, folding his hands in his lap, “you’re a great person, and I truly apologize if I led you on in any way… but I’m not—” he paused — “I’m already in a relationship.”

Kristen was visibly stunned, backing up a little, and uttering a simple, “oh.”

“Yeah.” Steve ran a hand through his hair, not nervous but not totally comfortable in the situation either. “And I’m really serious about it, so there’s nothing ever going to happen here. I’m sorry, I just.. I thought I should let you know.” He sent her a sincerely apologetic half-smile. 

Kristen nodded absently, taking it all in, mind still reeling a bit, and now trying to figure out who he could be dating. But she didn’t want to alienate him completely, so she went for an understanding smile and response. “No, that’s alright,” she waved him off, “don’t apologize. Just the way of the world that all the good ones are taken.” Steve flushed (on purpose) and looked down. “I hope we can still work together,” she half-stated, half-asked. 

“Of course,” Steve nodded emphatically. 

“Great. Then let’s plan for meeting at free periods.” Steve nodded once in agreement. “I hope she makes you happy, Steve.” Kristen kissed his cheek and then left. 

As she opened his door and stepped out, she saw Natasha heading towards the classroom and held the door open for her. Natasha thanked her politely, with a smile and everything. However, the way Kristen was standing, she still had a clear view of Steve’s desk, and noticed how his eyes lit up and a wide smile grew on his face when Natasha walked in the door, and how from then on his focus was solely on her. 

Kristen pulled her eyes away and left, wondering as she walked down the hallway if Natasha was the one Steve was in a relationship with. Right after the thought came to her mind, she shook her head, telling herself that it was ridiculous. She knew Steve was an actual good man, as evidenced by how gently he’d just let her down, and he would never do something crazy and stereotypical and certainly lusty as date his student. But still, she couldn’t help but remember how he seemed more alive the moment he laid eyes on Natasha.

* * *

Natasha was sitting on Steve’s lap. She had skipped class — well, she would never do that, but they were given the period to catch up on reading the textbook, and she’d already finished the assigned chapter, so her teacher graciously let her take that period to do whatever she wanted. And so she headed to where she was naturally pulled — Steve’s office.

Now, she’d just pulled back from their simple hello peck-turned-sudden and long make out session, needing air, and settled with her arms around his neck when a thought popped into her head.

“So what did you say to her?” She’d noticed that Kristen was around a lot less, because she was actually able to spend time with Steve during the day now. 

Steve didn’t need her to say Kristen’s name to know who Natasha was talking about. “Oh,” he looked a little sheepish now, “I just told her I was already in a relationship.”

“And she just accepted it?” Natasha didn’t believe the woman would back down so easily.

“Well,” Steve rubbed a hand on her waist where it rested, a nervous habit, “I may have said something other things, too… She — I — she knows that I’m serious enough about the relationship that I’m in that she doesn’t stand a chance.”

Natasha titled her head and smiled softly at her sweet sweet Steven, having some idea of what he must’ve told Kristen, and that it was absolutely true — only honesty from him. 

But before she could muster up something equally as sweet to respond with, Steve was speaking again, clearly thinking back to that moment, still. 

He started smiling now, that wide, youthful, amused grin that he got when he thought something was truly funny. “Oh but Nat, you should’ve seen her,” he started chuckling now and Natasha’s features turned to be more amused, questioning. Steve continued, “I kinda feel bad for laughing and telling you this but it was just — she was trying so hard. She was sitting on the corner of my desk all like trying to be sexy,” at this point he got up and placed Natasha on the seat so he could model Kristen’s pose, “leaning back and crossing her legs and she looked so damn uncomfortable. I felt bad for her at first, but then I thought of you and made a comparison and then all I could see was how _ridiculous_ she looked.”

He just sat there, looking as ridiculous as he’d described, and without even meaning to, Natasha let out a sudden, full-belly laugh. She really couldn’t be blamed! Steve was sitting there, legs crossed and leaning back but forward enough to still look at her, in a way that should’ve been sexy if he were a woman but he was not, and his legs hung awkwardly and shoulders stuck out at a weird angle and he just had the stupidest boyish grin on his face. 

It only grew as Natasha let her amusement out, until his face was lit up with the same laughter, mirroring her in volume as well. They held each other’s gazes though it all, and when it faded they smiled at each other breathlessly. Then, in a flash, Steve was up and lifted Natasha out of his seat, then sat, and pulled her back down to straddle him. She happily complied, raising her arms to rest on his shoulders and giving in easily when he pressed his lips to hers. 

Natasha sighed into the kiss and deepened it after only a few seconds. It turned into a full make-out session, but not hot and frantic. No, it was slow, languid, peaceful, heavy. They were enjoying themselves immensely when there was a knock at the door. They both froze, pulling back like they’d touched fire, and looked at each other with panicked eyes. A voice, presumably belonging to whomever had knocked, called out, “Nat? Are you in there?” 

It was Clint. What was he doing here? Steve communicated with his eyes. Natasha just shook her head, telling him to stay quiet. She’d completely forgotten that she’d let it slip in conversation that she would be coming here in her now free time, but she knew Clint and knew he wouldn’t wait around forever for a response. Sure enough, at the silence, Clint mumbled to himself about Natasha always running around being so busy before his footsteps sounded further and further away. 

As soon as they faded completely, Steve and Natasha both let out a long breath and Steve buried his face in Natasha’s neck as he busted out laughing. Natasha started giggling softly at the feel of Steve’s stubble and breath against her skin, and then more as she had a thought.

“At least it wasn’t your neighbor this time,” she joked, humor lacing her voice. She could feel Steve’s eyes crinkle as he laughed even harder at the memory and laughter bubbled out of her, too. 

_Natasha was sitting on the couch in Steve’s apartment, watching TV, while Steve was laying down across it, his head in her lap. She was absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair while he scrolled through apartment listings on his laptop, propped up on his knees where they were bent up._

_They’d been looking at housing options near both her options for college — for almost three hours now. Natasha got bored and stopped paying attention, but Steve kept looking at pointing things out to her when they were interesting. At first she was responsive, giving him her opinion, but she’d become less so over the last few - glancing and giving noncommittal hums - and now, Steve was speaking to her but she was completely tuned out, non-responsive._

_So Steve, being Steve, set the laptop down and in one coordinated movement, stood and picked her up. He swung her around and over his shoulder as he walked to the kitchen, flipping her over and around and all over the place as he went. She squealed and shrieked as she flailed, trying to get him to let her down, but he just grinned cheekily and spun them around and around until she was shouting his name in a high-pitched voice. He’d just set her on the kitchen counter when there was a knock at his front door. He looked inquisitively at Natasha but she seemed just as confused. However they received their answer when just a few seconds later, a voice sounded from outside — his elderly neighbor Doris — “I’m glad you two are having fun fooling around with each other, but could you keep it down a little bit? I’d hate for the others to be jealous of your love-making efforts,” she said with a teasing, adoring lilt in her voice like a meddling grandmother might._

_Steve flushed a deep red and Natasha just laughed, pecking him on the lips before hopping down and skirting around Steve to head for the door. Steve did not move, but heard Natasha open the door and turned to see her standing in a little line of light from the hallway, apologizing to Doris with a sweet smile and — he was sure he saw it  — a quick wink before she shut the door and headed back towards the couch._

It was this memory that made Steve laugh even harder, leaning back and grabbing his left peck. Natasha chuckled at his reaction to her little joke and smiled in pride and amusement and a little bit of awe, too. As his hysterics died down, the bell rang, and so Steve smiled at Natasha before leaning in to give her a long, lingering kiss. As he pulled away he uttered into her lips, “I have a meeting.” Disappointment shone through his voice but she could that his lips were still pulled into a small smile, and she knew hers were, too. It was just too happy of a moment to frown. 

Natasha knew what he meant by telling her that and, still smiling, slid off his lap to gather up her things. She looked at him, then. He looked thoroughly kissed and she couldn’t help but giggle before she gave him a peck and smoothed down his hair a little. Then she was out the door and Steve was left with nothing but his seemingly permanent smile and the awareness to make himself more presentable. 

When Natasha left Steve’s office, she was breathless and her mind was still in that safe, warm, happy place, dazed from the rush of endorphins to her brain from all the laughing (and touching). So she couldn’t keep the small smile off her face and didn’t really notice when she passed the infamous Kristen from Statistics, even though Natasha said a quick “hi” to her as she turned the corner, red hair flying from momentum of the sharp turn.

Kristen stopped walking for a moment, seeing clearly where Natasha had come from, and confusion and a bit of suspicion flooded her again. She walked even more resolutely toward’s Steve’s office now, knocking and entering when his voice called for her to come in.

Her smile and stance were non-predatory enough, but her first statement when she saw him was, “Natasha seems like a great girl.” 

She was testing him, and he knew it. She didn’t know that he knew it, but rather thought she was being sneaky and would get him to admit something — because the thought hadn’t really left her mind since that conversation in his classroom. 

Steve chose his response carefully. “Yeah,” he nodded, “she’s really bright. Definitely a promising future. I’ve never met a more dedicated student, especially one so genuinely interested in learning, than Natasha.” 

Kristen studied him for a moment and he kept his features professional — unreadable. Eventually she seemed to come to a decision and smiled at him. “Well, she wasn’t chosen Valedictorian for no reason,” she stated.

Steve chuckled politely. “You’re right about that.”

And then their meeting proceeded like normal. Kristen seemed to let go of the idea that Steve could be dating Natasha, convinced by his words and behavior. They were safe for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it's been forever!! I wrote a chapter but then it was suuuuper angsty and I just didn't think the time was right for it yet, so then I had to think real hard and get out of my funk and now this is finally done! let me know what you thought and thank you for reading!!!


	20. Second-Dating // Hurting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> second date-night is upon us

Their next date was on a Friday — all Natasha’s plan, this time, upon her insistence that she get to decide what they do for the next one. So she got ready, drove to Steve’s place, and pulled out her phone to send a quick text. 

Steve laughed when his phone buzzed with her message. 

 

_Mission alert. Extraction imminent. Meet at the curb. :)_

 

He didn’t even bother to respond, just grabbed his leather jacket, still smiling, and headed down to meet her. 

He leaned down and looked through the rolled-down window when he arrived at her car. She titled her head down as well, to send him a playful grin as she tapped her fingers against the steering wheel and arched an eyebrow at him. 

“Hey, you know where the Smithsonian is? I’m here to pick up a fossil.”

Steve rolled his eyes but the hint of a smile was on his face nonetheless. “That’s hilarious,” he deadpanned. Then he stood up straight and opened the door, sitting down and shutting it as he spoke again. “So a mission, huh?” Steve copied Natasha and sent an inquisitive and teasing eyebrow her way. 

Natasha just looked straight ahead and replied with a simple “mhm” before casting him a sideways glance complete with a small smirk. “Buckle up, buttercup. The adventure is just beginning.” 

Steve did as he was told and off they went. Natasha’s secretive little smirk never left her features in the entire fifteen minute car ride, and when they arrived at their final destination, Steve saw why. He unbuckled and looked up and out the window. 

“Laser tag?” He turned back to see Natasha grinning with just a hint of something devilishly sneaky dancing in her eyes.

“Yes, now come on. I’ve been waiting all week to beat your butt.”

“Good luck with that,” Steve quipped confidently as he stepped out of the car.

* * *

An hour and three “missions” later they walked out of the arena for the last time. Steve was sweating like he’d just run five miles while Natasha barely had a strand of hair out of place. Steve stared at her in amazement as they came to a stop just outside the door. Then they both peered up at the score board and a smug smile grew on Natasha’s face. 

Steve turned to her, a combination of befuddled and impressed. “I swear, are you sure you weren’t some sort of super spy assassin in a previous life?”

He didn’t even seem like he was joking but Natasha threw her head back in a full laugh. “I would tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.” She winked and he laughed softly. It was the mix of adrenaline and gloating and feeling like kids running wild that had Natasha break out in a wide smile, and then, seconds later, a fit of laughter herself. Before they knew it, they were giggling their way up to the cafe counter. 

They ordered their pizza and drinks and got a table in the back corner of the room. Steve guzzled down his water and Natasha just grinned, enjoying this moment for all it was worth. When Steve finished he looked her up and down and then came right out with it. “So seriously, how do you just singlehandedly win three games in a row without looking like you ever left the couch?” 

It was true. The only hint of her exertion was the slight flush on her cheeks. And that really just made her look as beautiful as ever. 

Natasha smirked. “I’ve had a lot of target practice, let’s say.”

Steve’s eyes widened. “What does that mean? Was I right about you being a spy?!”

She laughed and shook her head. “No idiot. I’ve just played laser tag a lot. It used to be mine and Clint’s favorite thing to do when we were younger. He was my first friend and got me out of my shell by forcing me to either run away screaming or get into the game and fight back. It actually ended up being a lot of fun and it was just something that stuck, I guess.” She shrugged. 

Steve nodded and leaned back in his chair. “Well yeah, it definitely stuck. You’re totally amazing at it.”

“Mm well don’t worry, I’m sure there are other things you’re good at,” Natasha teasingly patronized. 

“You’re right. There are.” Steve winked and suddenly Natasha was flushing for a whole different reason. 

She was just about to say something when their pizza was delivered and Steve dove right in — all conversation dropped for now. 

As Steve sat back in his chair, hands over his now full stomach, Natasha paid — she insisted, and came back to sit for a bit before heading out. 

“So… good second date?” she asked Steve.

He nodded emphatically. “Yes. This was so much fun.. I haven’t done something like this in a long time.” Then he got soft. “Thank you,” he uttered sincerely as he grabbed her hand and rubbed soothing circles across her palm just like he knew she loved.

“Well you’re welcome. I’m glad.” There was a pause before she continued, “aaand since this was date number two, that means —“

Steve caught on to what she was talking about and nodded, smiling a little before leaning across the table to kiss her. “Yes,” he finally said as he sat back in his seat. “Ready to go? We can have dessert back at my place,” he said in a ridiculous and unnecessary code, but one that made Natasha smile in amusement nonetheless. 

“I was born ready, lover boy.” She stood and he followed suit. Just as she was about to lean up for a kiss, her phone buzzed in her back pocket. 

Irritated, she sighed but looked at it anyway. When she saw the message, she groaned and pushed her face into Steve’s upper arm. 

He squeezed her hand, which he’d been holding without her even realizing. “What is it?”

Natasha groaned again, muffled by his sleeve, but pulled her face away enough so he could hear what she said. “Work needs me to come in.”

Immediately Steve’s body sagged. “Oh.”

She sighed. “Yeah. And I have to… I’m sorry, Steve.” She even pouted a little bit, really feeling badly and he kissed it away, his desire to make her feel better overpowering his own disappointment at the unwelcome interruption. 

“Hey, it’s okay. You can come over tomorrow or something… we’ll work it out,” he tried with a reassuring smile. 

“Yeah I guess you’re right…” Natasha replied. “Well. Come on, I’ll take you home then.”

They rode in near total silence - just a few comments here and there, Natasha at one point promising to come over that night after she finished her shift. But when she pulled up outside his apartment building, Steve turned to face her to say something. He took his key off his keyring and pressed it into her hands. 

“Here. You can use it to get in tonight if you do end up coming. And then I want you to keep it. That way, if you’re ever too tired to go all the way home, I know I’m a bit closer than your house and … you’re always welcome here. If you ever just need somewhere to escape to, when you’re feeling lonely or want to get away from it all, you can come here. You don’t have to, and I’m not trying to force anything on you or make this some big thing, I just want you to know … you’re my home, so my physical home, is yours.” 

He stammered out the end and then got out of the car, leaving Natasha frozen at what had just occurred. She was trying to convince herself that it really was nothing… just for the sake of convenience, when her phone buzzed again, reminding her of the real world and the very real possibility of her now being late. 

She shook her head, turning those thoughts away, and drove off quickly to get to work. There was no way she could’ve anticipated how the rest of the night would go.

* * *

When she got to work, the place was packed. It seemed someone had decided to throw an impromptu gathering of some sort and Natasha suddenly understood why she was needed. There were guys everywhere, drunk as ever, hanging all over the waitresses when they brought their drinks and throwing dollar bill after dollar bill up onto the stage.

She rushed back to the dressing room and caught one of the other girls in passing. “What’s going on?” she asked, rather breathlessly.

The girl replied, clearly so over this whole night, “someone booked a private party last minute. Would’ve been turned down but they paid for the whole place to be shut down. Heard they’re involved with someone special that Madame B needs to keep happy.”

Natasha huffed in annoyance. “Great.” Then, more sincerely, “Well, thank you.”

“Mhm,” the girl responded. “Good luck out there, girl. You’re gonna need it.”

As it turned out she was spot on and Natasha really should’ve heeded her warning more carefully. 

See, the party guests were intended to be treated like royalty, apparently. Private sessions with whomever they wanted, for as long as they wanted. They were paying for it, after all. Natasha was barely on stage for five minutes when she was called off, evidently requested by one of the big wigs. The rest of her night was spent in one of the private stalls in the side of the venue, with him, and then as time went on, all his friends. 

She tried to enforce the rules at first but Madame B pulled her aside when she escaped to use the restroom briefly. “You’ll disregard the less stringent rules, for tonight, yes?” She’d whispered into Natasha’s ear, making her have to suppress a shiver. “Understood, Madame,” Natasha obediently replied.

“Very good.” She patted Natasha on the cheek and then was gone in the blink of an eye.

So for the next few hours, Natasha was forced to grit her teeth, plaster on a smile, and bat her eyes as drunk, sweaty, gross men got to touch her wherever they pleased. She thanked whatever gods above that they were focused on her breasts and didn’t think about other parts of her body, because she wasn’t sure she could’ve swallowed down that particular part of the job. 

When the men finally started falling asleep on the couches, she slipped away and noticed the rest of the girls getting ready to go home. The party was over and everyone was seemingly being allowed to leave, so she rushed out of there before someone had the chance to tell her to stay. 

She threw on Steve’s sweatshirt that she’d stolen a few days ago when she was over after school, and jumped in her car, shivering now but not from the cold. Then Natasha sped away from there as fast as her aged car would let her. 

She didn’t even notice that she’d started crying until a few wet drops plopped onto her bare leg, and that shocked her back into reality. On autopilot at this point, she only realized when she turned onto a familiar street where she was taking herself.

She found that she didn’t want to turn back, in fact he was the very person she wanted to be with, so Natasha took Steve up on his earlier offer and around 2am, having just stopped her tears from continuing to fall, she unlocked the door and entered as quietly as she could into his apartment. She softly shut the door, locked it, and made her way to his room. Steve was lying on his side, facing away from the door, snoring softly. 

She crawled into bed and cuddled up behind him, throwing an arm over his waist and pressing her face between his shoulder blades. She tried to inhale deeply but it came out a sniffle. The scent that she did catch just made the last thing holding her together snap, and Natasha started crying again — quietly, her breathing strained and choppy. 

Steve awoke when he felt wetness and pressure on his upper back, and noticed the arm around his waist holding on tightly and sound of someone crying softly. Immediately, everything added up and he turned to face whom he knew was Natasha. His motion startled her and she stopped crying for a split second, furiously wiping at her eyes as she felt his own examining her. Even with the darkness, she was nervous that he could tell what had just been happening, and sure enough, after a moment he spoke up, voice rough with sleep.

“Hey… what’s wrong?”

And back came the tears, unbidden, like a flood from her eyes. Natasha buried her head in his chest, unable to control anything anymore and far too tired to try to fake a smile. “I’m not good, Steve.” 

It was the single recurring thought in her mind since she’d gotten in the car earlier. What had happened could be blamed only on herself, she was convinced. It was her who took that job, knowing that might someday be part of it, her who stood and did nothing and enabled those disgusting beings to feel even more powerful and privileged in their masculinity. As far as she was concerned, she alone was the reason other girls went through worse — because guys thought it was their right, because of what _she_ let them do. Hence, she was by no means a good person. 

Her voice was muffled a bit by his shirt, but Steve heard her. “What? What are you talking about? Of course you are,” Steve argued.

Natasha shook her head, the motion of it bunching up his shirt a bit. She hated herself even more for letting herself seek comfort in Steve — she was supposed to be his and she just destroyed that six times over, basically _cheated_ on him over and over again. “I let them,” she choked back a sob, “I let them _touch_ _me_ , Steve.”

He swore his heart broke a little right then. “Oh, Nat,” his own voice was strained with emotion. Steve pulled her ever closer, holding her tight against him. 

“They offered so much extra and I just .. I found out Ivan isn’t going to pay for anything and I  thought I could use the extra money,” she rambled, trying to explain herself though she knew there was no excuse for her actions. “My parents would be so ashamed of me. I don’t understand,” she struggled out of his embrace and flipped over, facing away from him, as she continued, suddenly unable to be physically near him, “how you can be with someone as .. as disgusting.. as me.” Then she sat up and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, still not facing him, and spoke again, stronger this time, a bit of misplaced anger taking place of that vulnerability from just moments before. 

“I don’t think we should be together.” Her voice was hardened, nearly emotionless. She refused to look at him, but he could see the tenseness in her posture as she said that.

“What?” Steve was as confused as he was panicked. “Nat…”

She reached down to put her shoes back on and was about to grab her things, to leave, when Steve exclaimed, “you can’t just leave, Natasha! Don’t just decide this is over because you think you did something wrong. I’m as deep in this as you are, and I do not think that.” He wasn’t shouting, exactly, but his voice had increased in volume and sternness. 

Natasha scoffed. “You’re too _good_ , Steve! Don’t you see that? I’m going to … I don’t want to ruin you!” She’d stood halfway through that and was now pacing, arms crossed in very closed-off body language, face unreadable.

Steve had had about enough. He sat up, sheets bunching at his waist, and faced her completely. “Christ, Nat, stop.. You’re not going to ruin me! You’re what makes me _whole_.”

Natasha did stop, at that. She froze in her movements and turned to face Steve with wide eyes. He took her silence and attention to mean he should continue. He kept his eyes locked with hers as he did just that.

“And I don’t care that this is what you do. I mean, of course, I _care_ , especially about things that happen to you, and people touching you, but … Doing this job doesn’t make you a horrible person. Am I totally okay with it? No, and I don’t think I ever really was. Of course I don’t _want_ you giving those people such easy access to your body … I wouldn’t be a good person, let alone a good boyfriend, if I did. but I don’t judge you for it. Listen to me —“ he made sure she held his gaze — “I don’t think any less of you because of this choice of profession, because that’s really _all it is_.”

“I would stop, though, if you told me to,” Natasha whispered after a beat, breaking eye contact and letting her gaze drop to the floor. 

Steve sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Natasha… if there was something better out there, I’d want you to take it, sure, but I would never tell you to. I don’t own you — no one does. I can’t — I _won’t_ — tell you what to do. And that includes what to do about your job. It’s your life, Natalia. I may be your boyfriend but you don’t belong to me — you’re not a piece of property. You are a strong, independent woman who has freedom and choice, and I will support you no matter what.” Steve finished in that calm but commanding way that left no room for argument. 

Natasha wiped at her eyes that were suddenly watery again and huffed out something that was a mix between a scoff and a laugh. “God, you’re a feminist icon, Steve.”

He cracked a little smile and held out his hands, calling her over. She didn’t go at first, still being stubborn and fighting with herself and, in turn, him. But then she obliged and as soon as she was within arms reach, he pulled her down and into a tight embrace, wrapping his arms around her and burying his head in the crook of her neck. Natasha hugged him back, but Steve still felt her hesitance and remaining mixed emotions, so he spoke softly just below her ear, “Tell me what I can do to make it better.”

Natasha pulled away and roughly ran her hands up and down her face in frustration. “I don’t know.” Steve waited for her to think. “Maybe this is just something I have to deal with on my own. That’s how it’s always been, anyway,” she murmured, arms crossed over her chest as she was still trying to figure out what she wanted.

Then Steve spoke softly. “Yeah, but you’re not alone.”

Natasha suddenly shifted her eyes up from the floor and peered directly into Steve’s, like a clarity had come over her. “Kiss me.”

So that’s what Steve did. He kissed her lips, made it last, and when he pulled away, murmured against her lips, “where did they touch you?” 

Natasha read his mind and guided his mouth to every place another man’s hand had touched, and Steve painted each spot with brushes of his lips and gentle, reverent touches of his fingertips until every memory of grotesque touches was erased and replaced with a loving one. 

She was visibly more relaxed, feeling a bit lighter by the time he was pulled away for the last time. Before she could fully drift off into the realm of sleep, she pulled him back up and kissed him sweetly, trying to say everything she couldn’t put into words. Steve sunk back into the bed, body covering half of hers and arms holding her secure, head in the space between hers and her shoulder. Natasha exhaled deeply, finally letting go of everything and sinking into the feeling of bliss and content she had at Steve being so wrapped around her. 

However, he knew it wouldn’t be so easy as that to move past this. It would take time and probably more discussion, which meant more argument, and most likely more of Natasha’s own mind turning against her. Steve sighed at the thought. But for now, they could have this moment. Maybe it was step one on the way to healing and a more permanent fix.

Not much later, they both fell into a deep sleep, not realizing they’d just passed second base anyway, because there were more important things in life, in this relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry
> 
> promise I'll make it up to you all in the next chapter, but I just felt like this was the only authentic way to deal with the fact of Natasha's occupation  
> also I hope you enjoyed the date part of it!! don't forget about those little joys in life


	21. Retreating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in honor of the 10th anniversary of The Kiss, I wanted to do something special  
> hope you enjoy!  
> also, rating is being bumped up to E

Natasha was gone by the time Steve awoke the next morning. A note left on his kitchen counter read, “thank you, and I’m sorry,” in curvy, flowing penmanship. Steve sighed, thinking of Natasha. He wanted to know if she was okay, or, not as bad as the night before because obviously she wasn’t going to be okay just like that. However he knew her leaving before he woke up was her telling him, without using words, that she needed time to herself, so he would give it.

When they did see each other again, the very next day, actually, because Steve couldn’t hold out for that long and had texted her that evening to check in, it was as he expected it to be. Natasha seemed withdrawn and like she was still having negative thoughts about herself that made her feel she wasn’t good enough for him.

Actually, Natasha was still a bit hesitant around Steve for several days following their second date, but he tried his best to make her feel comfortable and _valued_. She kept herself at arm’s length, physically, and Steve took this to be a boundary she was setting. For the time being, he complied and only touched her when she put herself close to him — he was following her lead.

Sometimes she really needed it — his warmth, and to know that he was still there — so she leaned into him for a hug or even a kiss on the forehead, and he willingly obliged.

Other times, she put noticeable space between them — those were the times she seemed very in her head, most likely listening to thoughts of how she was not good enough, and when Steve noticed her drifting off into her thoughts like that, he would reach out with just a gentle touch on the knee or arm, non-threatening but letting her know he was there, he hadn’t left her, because she _was_ good enough.

Those little actions helped, and as time passed, he could see Natasha winning the war inside herself. She smiled more, maintained eye contact with him for longer, and sought out his touch and conversation like she used to. It was even more of a testament to her amazingness that she essentially healed herself all on her own. Sure, Steve helped by being there, but the convincing was done within her own mind.

She hadn’t seen as much of him as normal, though, due to his free period meetings with Kristen and her increasingly busy schedule as the end of the year approached. Before they both knew it, they were boarding the bus to leave for the senior retreat.

Natasha was already on the bus when Steve stepped in. She was sitting alone in the front, basically where the teachers were supposed to be sitting, and at the introspective look on her face, he didn’t have the heart to move her.

He looked down the bus and saw Clint sitting close to Laura, and presumed that might be why Natasha seemed a little bluer than normal. The other teachers were taking their seats and soon the only one left available was next to Natasha. He looked around, pretending to look for another seat though he knew there were none. Sure enough, his fellow chaperones on that particular bus just shrugged at him, so he sat.

Natasha felt a body brush against hers and pulled her gaze away from the window to see who it was. She was pleasantly surprised when she saw it was Steve, and her features lifted into a little smile to reflect that as she scooted over a bit to make room, as a proper student would do when her teacher sat next to her.

Steve smiled too, then engaged her in a short, normal conversation.

“Ms. Romanoff,” he nodded at her.

“Hi, Mr. Rogers,” she returned, voice a bit softer and more forlorn than when they normally talked.

“Excited for the retreat?”

She nodded, taking note of one chaperone’s head turned slightly towards them, as if listening to their conversation.

“Very. I think I definitely need it after the last month I’ve had. It’ll be a good break, if nothing else.” There, that was a normal student answer! And it wasn’t a lie, either.

Steve chuckled. “Well, then I think you’ll very much enjoy what we have planned for you.”

Natasha smiled politely and took that for the end of the conversation that it was meant to be. They were so in tune with each other it was kind of ridiculous, at this point — even after not spending as much time together lately. They were both glad that aspect of their relationship was still intact.

The drive was quite long — almost four hours — and Natasha had been up late the previous night, working, because no, she hadn’t quit her job. She simply couldn’t afford to, unfortunately. That of course meant that she fell asleep not long into the drive — the gentle hum of the vehicle lulling her to sleep.

She chose the window as her pillow, not wanting to risk anything being seen sleeping on Steve’s shoulder, but smiled to herself when she felt his hand brush her elbow, not worrying that someone could’ve seen that.

At some point, Natasha’s body betrayed her and her head lolled to the side on a sharp turn of the bus to land precisely on Steve’s shoulder. And there it stayed for the remainder of the drive.  
Steve froze when he first felt her head lean onto him, not knowing what to do. His brain worked quickly, though, and he decided that in this instance, a normal teacher with his normal student would probably just let her rest, but not touch her. So he relaxed his body and then kept as still as possible, flipping through articles on his phone with his left hand, leaving his right arm for her to rest her head on.

A few chaperones did notice when they looked back to do their visual checks, lifting an eyebrow in a silent question, but Steve just gave them each a helpless look and his best lost, puppy dog eyes. It must’ve worked because they sent him sympathetic and understanding smiles back and didn’t bring it up ever again. Just the role of being a teacher, that’s why they understood, Steve told himself.

Still, he kept his eyes on them. So when they seemed to relax more, and the last time they checked on the students was 45 minutes before, he risked pulling Natasha a little bit closer and situating her in a more comfortable position. He let his hand brush her waist lightly and she hummed quietly, snuggling further into him. Steve glanced down to find a small smile gracing her features. She looked more peaceful than she had at all in the past week, and he found himself smiling softly at that realization. He was happy to see her free of her internal struggle, even if just for a little bit. Hopefully this would be the start to a healing three days.

He squeezed Natasha’s knee to wake her up when they were getting close. The other chaperones were readying their packets and he didn’t want her to panic in front of them — because he knew she would panic when she woke up leaning against him. And he wasn’t wrong. She inhaled as she woke up and then sat up quickly when she was surrounded by the scent of Steve. She turned her head, peering up at him with wide eyes, scared and inquisitive at the same time. Steve returned her look calmly, trying to tell her not to worry.

He held her gaze, steadying her with just his eyes, then directed her eyes to the chaperones by shifting his in that direction. He then turned back to watch as she completed her inspection and could tell when she decided everything was okay. She let out a breath and her shoulders relaxed. Then she turned back to him and smiled, gaze a mix of soft and mischievous, before tucking her head down into his arm, where no one behind her could see, and pressed a kiss where she could reach.

Steve looked around quickly and quietly chuckled all at once. Before he could lean down to press a kiss into her hair, though, she had returned to her upright position, sitting a bit further away from him and looking out the window. However, he caught her stare through the reflection and saw a little smirk playing on her lips. He smiled in return before going to prepare his own materials before they arrived.

Suffice it to say, they were both very much looking forward to the next three days, and very happy the other was attending as well.

* * *

The retreat began and Natasha was swiftly swept up into the madness of collecting her things, getting her materials, finding her room, settling in, and then rushing back into the main meeting room.

She barely had time to think, let alone to feel sad or ashamed of herself, and when she sat and finally took a breath, she found herself actually feeling glad for that. She sat in the back of the sea of her fellow classmates on the floor and looked towards the front, where the chaperones were gathered, and immediately caught Steve’s eyes. She smirked as she realized that meant he had definitely been staring at her already. Then the lead chaperone started talking and Steve was totally saved by the bell.

As it turned out, that kind of surveillance would become a pattern over the next three days. Once, when Steve was speaking in the kitchen, helping to cook and Natasha was sitting with Laura, trying to get to know her a bit better. But as she was listening to Laura speak, Natasha’s eyes kept wandering over to Steve and she ended up staring at him for an extended moment before becoming aware of what she was doing. Steve could feel Natasha’s eyes but never turned his head to meet her gaze.

It happened again when Natasha was sitting on the couch in the main room, curled up, reading a book, during their hour of free time. Steve had just come up the stairs to get some water after going for a run and nearly stopped in his tracks when he saw Natasha — curled into the couch, hair splayed out, the sunlight coming through the window making her look like a literal angel.

Natasha could feel Steve’s stare even as he continued moving through the room to get to the kitchen, but there were a few other people in the room and so nothing could be done. She sighed and nearly looked over to Steve but stopped herself, instead pouting a little bit and then biting her lip just the way she knew Steve simultaneously loved and _hated_. It wasn’t meant to tease — well, not totally — but she just wanted to let him know that she knew, that she understood, and was feeling the same way.

The next time was when everyone was sitting in a circle, sharing their reactions from a talk they’d just heard. Natasha was speaking, really trying to reach into her heart and get something out of this activity, and felt Steve’s gaze boring into her. She continued after pausing for less than a second, not even glancing over at where she knew he was sitting, but she was sure her face was turning red — she could feel the heat rising on her cheeks as she spoke.

So she wrapped up and handed it over to the next person before the flush went too far and became too visible to everyone. Now that she was done talking, the urge to look at Steve became even stronger, but she resisted with all of her might. She didn’t want to risk people seeing and coming to their own conclusion.

At the dining table over dinner and then breakfast the following morning, as conversation went on around them, they’d sneak glances at each other and actually ended up making eye contact a few times from across the table, which resulted in tiny smiles and light blushing each time. When they did catch each other’s gazes, they held it for longer than was normal, because it was just too hard to look away. Each time felt like a secret, sacred few seconds and neither of them had the heart to ruin it. In fact the only reason they did was either because one of them came to their senses and broke the connection, or someone else got their attention.

Natasha helped with the dishes after breakfast and was acutely aware of Steve brushing past her or sliding behind her to put away the leftover food. The domesticity of it struck her and she almost dropped the dish she was washing when Steve whispered, “you look pretty good in the kitchen” as he leaned next to her to place a dish into the sink, purposefully brushing his fingers against hers as he did so.

A vision of the two of them some years from now, doing the same thing, in the same exact position, came unbidden into her mind’s eye as he said that, and by the time she shook herself out of it, he was long gone and the water was turning cold against her hands.

It was getting to be too much for her, and something needed to be done if she wanted to make it through the rest of the retreat.

Luckily, before lunch that day, another chaperone sent her and Steve to get more utensils and plates from the other cabin. Natasha tried to maintain her distance from Steve, aware of how on edge she was, and was practicing deep breathing the entire way over to calm herself. As soon as Steve shut the door behind them — and locked it, if Natasha heard correctly — her personal space was suddenly being crowded from behind. She could feel Steve’s warmth, which was nice, but not his body, so she turned around to fix that.

In one coordinated motion, she pulled his face down to hers and kissed him with all the feelings she’d been pushing down for the last 36 hours. They both sighed at finally making physical contact, and smiled into the kiss. Steve’s arms came to wrap around her waist and he pulled her infinitely closer, growling a little as he did so, making Natasha giggle.

Eventually they pulled away for air and as Steve brushed his fingers through Natasha’s hair, she buried her face in his chest, inhaling deeply and soaking up this brief moment of respite for all it was worth. They stayed that way until Steve decided they’d stalled long enough and people would start wondering about them, soon. He tilted her chin up with his finger and leaned down to kiss her one last time, running his fingers down her arm as he pulled away.

“Come on, we’ve gotta get this stuff back soon or people are going to get suspicious,” he intertwined their fingers and pulled her close as they walked to the kitchen. It was enough for now, they both thought as they went about their designated task.

* * *

It did seem to calm that initial desperation, but by the end of the day, they were both antsy once again.

While this retreat was doing them both some good, it was also tougher than they’d expected to be in the same vicinity as each other but not be able to be close like they normally were.

But it wasn’t just physical. There was this _pull_ , this increasingly strong desire to be near each other simply because they were used to sharing everything with one another. And that’s what they were missing, being deprived of, more than anything — the conversations and whispered words that both displayed and built trust and intimacy.

That feeling carried into the evening and held Natasha back from rest when it was bedtime. She tossed and turned for many minutes, trying to sleep, but to no avail. After multiple attempts, she gave up and decided to take action.

Channeling her inner spy, Natasha quietly got out of bed and tiptoed out of the room, all the way to the front door, and snuck out, softly shutting the door behind her.

She made her way to the main cabin, where she knew Steve was staying, and walked around the perimeter, looking through the windows until she spotted him. Finally, she did, and thanked whatever gods were above that his room was on the bottom floor. The window was open a little, probably to let in cool air because she knew how hot he got when he slept. But tonight, it was serving as her perfect way in.

She jumped up and balanced herself on the window sill, nudging the window open with her foot a little more, and then she maneuvered her body to slide inside, landing with a soft thud. First she turned back to shut the curtains, making a note to tell Steve to be more conscious of that — she didn’t want people looking in on him as he slept, after all. Then she made her way to his bed, climbed in next to his sleeping form and smiled when he immediately shifted and pressed his face into her neck, throwing an arm around her waist at the same time.

She turned her neck to pepper his face with kisses, smiling as he hummed when she ran a hand through his hair. Natasha exhaled, finally feeling like everything was as it should be. Apparently it was a bit too loud, because then Steve’s eyelashes were blinking against her skin and he was sleepily uttering her name in a question. “Nat?”

She hummed as she continued running her fingers through his hair and had to stifle a chuckle when he abruptly pulled away and up to look at her. “What are you doing here?” He asked, much more awake and alert now.

Natasha just smiled. “I missed you,” she shrugged like it was nothing.

Steve breathed out a chuckle that sounded more like a sigh at the end. “I’ve been here, Nat.”

Natasha’s demeanor transitioned into a less playful one and she quietly responded, “I know you have.”

Though he may have just been talking about the last few days, Natasha was thinking of all the time that had passed since the night of her breakdown. She knew she’d been keeping Steve at a distance, and that he wasn’t expecting that, especially after the adoration he’d shown her body and how she’d responded so enthusiastically. But this was something she had to deal with on her own, a battle to fight in her own mind.

However, she couldn’t have had the courage and strength to do that if Steve hadn’t been there for her, believed in her, told her that she was good in the first place. And she knew he probably would be feeling like he hadn’t been much help, because she hadn’t acknowledged it, which made her feel even worse about the whole thing. So suddenly her mission for the night became to convince him that he had been — to say thank you.

As Steve laid back down next to her, she turned to face him and brushed her knuckles down the side of his face in a gentle motion. Then she locked her eyes with his and let her emotion show through as she whispered, “I know you’ve been here, Steve.” A shaky breath escaped her and she closed her eyes for a moment before returning them to gaze into his. “Thank you.”

Steve smiled softly and his eyes flitted around her face before he responded, pride filling his voice, “I didn’t do anything, Nat. You did this all on your own.”

Natasha immediately shook her head and Steve’s lips lifted up in a more amused smile, this time, but one that was still heavy with emotion. “I didn’t, though. I never would’ve been able to get past this without you, Steve. So let me thank you.” And before he could protest anymore, she was pressing her lips against his in a tender kiss.

Steve let himself get lost in it — trying to memorize the feel of everything Natasha — her lips, her tongue, her scent, the feel of her breath as it puffed against his face when they finally separated. His eyes were closed, dazed and amazed, and Natasha took advantage of it. In a flash, her lips were trailing down his jaw to where it met his neck, leave a fiery blaze in their wake. Steve was so surprised that a choked sound left him before he could stop it.

Natasha grinned against his skin and doubled down her efforts, more determined than ever before to express her emotions through this method. She took her time learning him, testing him to find out what and where he wanted her. She nipped at the tender flesh on his neck at his pulse point and felt more than heard Steve let out a harsh breath. Taking internal note of that, she soothed the area with her tongue and continued downward.

She let her instinct take control, kissing gently then biting but not hard enough to leave any marks — she was still aware of where they were. Steve was breathing heavily by the time she made it to his collarbone. She rolled over to straddle him and pushed him back by his shoulders when he leaned up to touch her. This was about him.

Steve looked like he was about to protest so she sent him her best un-moving look. His eyes, which were already blown wide, visibly darkened. Natasha took that as a sign. She flashed him a smirk and ducked her head to suck at his adam's apple as it bobbed when he swallowed thickly.

She could feel the groan vibrate against her throat and she swiped her tongue across it before lifting her head to shush him gently. She pecked his lips then whispered before he could speak, “remember where we are,” and swiftly returned to her previous position. As she leaned over his collarbone, mouthing kisses over it, her hair fell over her and Steve giggled softly as the ends tickled his skin.

Natasha paused for a moment to look at him with an amused, surprised grin. He blushed but took advantage of her brief break and lifted his head up to kiss her soundly, grinning through it at his own cleverness and then the feel of Natasha giving into it. He let go, though, when he needed to breathe, and plopped his head back down with a dopey grin adoring his features.

Natasha just chuckled and shook her head, hands moving to the hem of his shirt and then up and under it, fingertips mapping the skin there. Before long, she was tugging it up and over his head, with his help of course. When it was free and clear, she had to pause just to take in the image of him. She’d seen it before, yes, but never really felt like she had so much time to _explore_. And explore she did.

Her fingertips danced across his chest and pressed in at the dips of his chiseled abdomen. She followed Steve’s choked noise at that and kissed and licked with the tip of her tongue all across his upper body. She could feel as Steve tightened his muscles, trying to retain control of himself, against her lips, and she smirked just before she moved lower, pressing a kiss to one side of the V-shaped dip formed by his hip bone. Her tongue swirled lower and her fingers had almost reached the hem of his boxers when Steve stopped her with a hand on her arm.

“Natasha,” he sounded rather breathless, but commanding nonetheless. She lifted her head just enough to quirk an eyebrow at him, to which he continued, “Tasha, wait. You don’t have to...I don’t —“

She cut him off with a gentle kiss and made sure he could see the sincerity in her eyes when she said, “I want to do this, Steve. Let me do this for you.” Upon hearing the almost pleading tone in her voice, Steve conceded, promising himself he would return the favor and he wouldn’t let this be a one-sided thing.

Not hearing any further protest from him and unwilling to wait any longer, brimming with a slew of emotions ranging from excitement to apprehension to contentedness at having found her place, Natasha hooked her thumbs around the top band of his boxers and pulled them down in one coordinated motion.

The sight of Steve lying before her was something Natasha never could’ve imagined. He really was just as beautiful as he was kind. She couldn’t resist running her palm down the length of him — staring in awe at the way his muscles tensed and released in a steady pulse at the contact.

She sat for a moment, simply admiring the view, before a tiny noise from Steve prompted her back into action. She pressed little kisses to the sides that had Steve biting his lip to refrain from making any noticeable sounds. He kept his eyes open and trained on her, though, refusing to look away no matter how much he wanted to shut his eyes and lose himself to the sensations.

But then Natasha flattened her tongue and licked a wet stripe up one side to suck lightly on his balls and Steve let out a gasp, taken by surprise and unable to stop it. Natasha stopped immediately and peered down at him, waiting until he looked more in control before returning to run her tongue along the other side of him.

Steve was glad he’d had that chance to silence himself because before he knew it, Natasha was closing her mouth around his now-swollen, reddened tip and swirling her tongue wherever she could reach. He almost shouted but refrained, instead letting out this low, guttural sound in the base of his throat.

He could feel Natasha’s small smirk against his skin before she took him in even deeper and began to back off slowly, repeating the motion to create a pattern of bobbing her head. She followed his lead and started moving faster when he became thicker in her mouth and more breathy in sound. Her teeth accidentally scraped Steve on one pull back and he let out only the first bit of a high-pitched moan before Natasha hushed him by smothering his lips with hers.

Natasha moved back down to resume her actions but only got so far as one long and wet lick upwards when Steve was whining again. She looked up while taking him in her hand and squeezing slightly, feeling Steve throbbing and hot against her skin. And then, still watching him, wanting to see his face, read the emotions in his features, she moved her hand up, then down. Steve’s eye’s widened and darkened infinitely more at the same time as she felt a bit of moisture leak onto her hand.

Suddenly she understood. She leaned further over Steve, her hair providing a curtain to the outside world as she kissed him soundly. His lips moved against hers desperately and she picked up the pace with her hand. She brushed her lips across his jaw, making her way to his ear where she whispered, “I’ve got you, babe.”

She felt Steve’s forehead press into her neck and decided to stay where she was, letting him have this. As she flicked her wrist and increased the pressure, and thus the friction, Steve’s hips bucked and his breathing became more labored in her ear. She continued, easing off every few strokes to give him a break but returning with gusto. With each motion, Steve pressed his lips (and sometimes teeth) into Natasha’s skin to keep from making too much sound, and she was sure that she would have a bruise there tomorrow, but truthfully, she couldn’t find it in herself to care.

She decided she’d tortured Steve enough and scratched her fingernails lightly up the length of him, causing Steve to buck his hips wildly and moan into her skin. Then she grasped him and moved with ever more purpose. Steve was practically thrusting into her hand at this point and audibly panting into her ear. She paused, licked her hand, and returned to her movement.

And then Steve became a mess of sweat and motion and muttering. “Natasha, N’tasha, Tasha, Tash, Tashhh, Nat, ohfuckohfuckohfuck, fuck Nat, please, Tasha, Talia. Natalia—” he had a moment of clarity and blinked his eyes open in a split second just before she tugged one last time and he fell apart in her hands.

White, hot liquid spurted up and onto Natasha’s shirt as she worked Steve through his release and then down from it, peppering soft kisses all across his face, neck, collarbone.

Steve shuddered at her continued but slowing ministrations, and when he regained control of his movements, he pulled her in for a deep kiss — one that had her threading her fingers through his hair and bringing herself closer. When they pulled away they were both wearing soft but wide and genuine smiles. Natasha couldn’t help but look one more time down the length of his body, admiring what she had access to, and then she caught sight of Steve’s slightly sticky mess and chuckled.

“What?” Steve asked, still fairly dazed or maybe he was just sleepy.

“Nothing,” Natasha smiled and shook her head, “just going to need a new shirt to wear to bed.”

Then Steve looked down and at least appeared a little sheepish when he saw what she was referring to. “Whoops,” and then his mischievous sexy little smile popped up. “Maybe you’ll just sleep in no shirt at all,” he said, that expression never leaving his face, before he moved both hands to grasp the shirt. Then he locked eyes with Natasha and pulled, effectively ripping the shirt in two and tossing the pieces across the room. Natasha squealed, though still careful to be quiet, “Steve!”

He just grinned and leaned up to kiss her, pulling her down into him before rolling them both so they were on their sides. His arms wrapped tight around Natasha, keeping her warm and safe and enclosed. She practically melted into him and snuggled up closer, shimmying until she was completely pressed against him. Then she let out this content little sigh and Steve pulled the covers up over both of them.

“You know I can’t stay here the whole night…” Natasha mumbled against his skin.

“I know,” he kissed the top of her head, “but at least for a little bit.”

“Mkay,” he heard her respond.

Then Steve tightened his embrace. “Thank you,” he said in the most sincere voice she’d ever heard anyone use in her entire life. “You’re incredible.”

She just smiled against his chest in response and rested her head more against him. Steve smiled in turn and they drifted off to sleep, the warmth that now filled both of them pulling them under.

When the sun rose, Steve gently removed himself from Natasha’s embrace and retrieved a t-shirt from his duffel bag. He pulled it over her head and maneuvered her arms through it, then picked her up bridal-style, placing one of her arms around his neck. She woke up slightly at all the movement and Steve whispered to calm her, “I’m just taking you back to your cabin. You’re going to have to tell me which room is yours.” She nodded against his shoulder.

A few minutes later, Steve was shutting the door softly behind him and tip-toeing through the cabin to Natasha’s room. He tucked her into bed and pressed one last kiss on her forehead. He turned in the doorway to find her already fallen back asleep, with a small smile on her face. Steve didn’t think his left his own face for the rest of the day.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast made it apparent that they were now in an undeniably different, new, amazing place, because they couldn't quite keep their eyes off each other. However, Natasha made a concerted effort not to get caught looking at Steve. That didn’t mean she didn’t look at him — because that couldn’t be helped, after the night before — but she just tried to be less obvious about it. She would glance over at him but then quickly turn away.

Steve, it seemed, was not trying at all. He probably thought he was — she chuckled at that thought— but she could feel his eyes on her no matter what they were both doing. He was much more drawn out about it.

He just kind of gazed after her as she smiled shyly and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear in conversation with someone she didn't know very well. Natasha would be helping cut fruit for breakfast, and she felt his gaze from where he was flipping pancakes on the stove. She walked away to wash her hands, he followed her with his eyes.

She was sitting across from him at one of the smaller circular tables, listening to another teacher talk; she could feel his eyes burning holes into the side of her face. She laughed at something Clint said, next to her, and she could see out of the corner of her eye how Steve's features transformed into a soft smile, in turn, as he watched her. He seemed to be unable to take his eyes off her.

She glanced at him a few times and found him, well, starry-eyed was the only good way to describe it; and maybe turned on, too, if his slightly glazed over and darkened pupils were anything to go by. He had this soft little smile on his face and blushed when he realized she’d caught him. He was just too in awe and filled with wonderful memories of the previous night _not_ to gaze at her.

So in the end, it seemed that it didn’t matter what she did, because someone noticed anyway — damn Steve and his staring.

As they were dismissed to go pack up their things after breakfast, Clint approached Natasha just as she was about to open the front door to return to her own cabin.

“Barton,” she greeted as he jogged up to meet her.

“Nat, I gotta talk to you.” The serious look on his face scared Natasha a little but she covered with a bit of humor, as always.

“What’s wrong, Clint? Someone find your stash of arrows that I know you brought with you?” she teased.

“Wha — no. I didn’t —” Clint shook his head, “that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.” Without giving her a chance to speak again, he continued, “I think you need to watch out for Mr. Rogers.”

Natasha was visibly stunned, blinking as her mind went racing. With all the fears that ran through her head, all she could get out was a baffled, “what?”

“I know you really look up to him and see him as a mentor or whatever, but…” Clint looked down, beginning to feel slightly uncomfortable as Natasha just stared on, still a bit stunned, “I noticed him staring at you, Nat,” he glanced back up at her, “a lot. Like multiple times in the last two days. Like he wants to devour you or something and I just.. I know that look, Nat, and I just want you to be careful.”

Natasha sighed and smiled softly at her friend, touched that he cared so much about her. “Don’t worry, Clint,” she squeezed his arm, “I’m sure he was just spacing out or something. I feel safe around him.” At his look of argument, she continued before he could open his mouth, “but if I ever don’t, you know I can take care of myself.” She gave him a pointed look and he sighed.

“I know you can, Tasha. I just.. I worry about you, you know that.”

“And I’ve told you you shouldn’t. But thank you for the concern, really.” She gathered him in a hug to really get her point across and smiled as she felt Clint return her embrace. It was good to be with her best friend like this.

When they pulled apart, Clint had a genuine smile on his face. “I’m just trying to protect you. Gotta fulfill my older brother role, you know,” he joked as he slung an arm around her shoulders and they walked out the door.

Natasha laughed and elbowed him in the ribs, “you’re younger than me, idiot,” she teased.

“Yeah, but more mature,” Clint argued.

“Ha! You wish,” Natasha scoffed and Clint chuckled.

“Okay, okay, fine.” He lifted his arm from her as he opened the door for her with a flourish.

She gave him a look to which he responded, “what? Just doing my duty holding the door open for a little old lady.” He winked and Natasha shoved him even as she smiled.

“Jerk. Go get your stuff together Barton.”

Clint smiled, “See you later, Tasha.”

She smiled as she shut the door behind her but as soon as she plopped onto her bed, a heavy sigh escaped her. She reached for her phone immediately before remembering they’d all given them up at the beginning of the retreat. Cursing silently, she decided she’d just have to find a way to talk to Steve in person sometime that day. 

* * *

 

The only problem was, Natasha and Steve weren’t left alone at all that day. She had him alone in a hallway for a second and then another chaperone joined them, and her opportunity was gone.

Even when they were on the bus later that day, they didn’t get to sit together again — Natasha was next to a girl she’d seen only a few times and Kristen was occupying the seat to Steve’s right. So she had to settle for the only thing she could think of — they’d been given their phones back as they boarded the bus, so she pulled hers out and texted him what she knew would get his attention.

Steve felt his phone buzz in his hand and glanced down to see Natasha’s name on his phone. He resisted the urge to turn around and went to open the message when a voice sounded from his right, “your girlfriend?”

He stopped himself from opening the message just in time to see Kristen peering down at the screen. Shit, that must mean she saw Nat’s name, he thought. He let his thumb hover over the screen before falling back. "Yeah, she's in New York - long distance, you know?" he lied. 

Kristen nodded and hummed her understanding and turned to look out the window to give him some privacy. As soon as Steve saw her look away, he opened the message, tilting his phone so she wouldn't be able to see the screen if she glanced down. 

_Clint noticed._

Steve was amazed he didn’t drop the phone but he was sure he stopped breathing for a moment.

 _Noticed, what, exactly?_ he texted back.

_This morning, he told me to watch out for you. That he noticed you staring at me_

Then another message came before he could even argue back on his own behalf

 _Which I know you were. I could feel it. Don’t try to deny it_ , Natasha said, complete with an expression that mirrored her own - 

After that, Natasha saw the three dots appear, then disappear, then a pause and they reappeared and finally a response from Steve.

 _Well sorry if I can’t help it that my girlfriend is stunning and wonderful_   

Natasha rolled her eyes but felt her chest warm, nonetheless. _You just have to be so smooth, don’t you?_ she responded.

She heard Steve chuckle and smiled to herself. _Last I remember, you liked smooth ;)_

_Oh my god. Is this how it’s going to be now?_

_Oh yes, it is._

She was about to respond telling him how ridiculous he was when another message came through. Sorry, gotta go. Chap stuff. Talk later

She looked up to see, indeed, the chaperones were starting to gather, and then back down at her phone when it buzzed with another text.

It was just a stupid emoji, but even as she rolled her eyes, she smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahaha so that was long, wasn't it? It totally got away from me and I apologize..I've just been writing so much lately! In case you didn't see, I posted two new fics inspired by the A4 set pics of Chris and Scarlett, and the next installment of this is also almost done! anyway, I do hope you enjoyed this!  
> I know I always say this, but please please tell me what you thought! This was my first foray ever into writing anything remotely smutty, and I don't really think it's my forte. So your honest opinions and suggestions would be much appreciated.  
> thanks for reading!


	22. Returning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... to home/school .. the favor. you can fill in the blank on what comes next in the sentence after the title and it'll probably be in here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E rating remains. fair warning.

When they got back, Steve and Natasha both hung around until they were the only ones left -- the students and chaperones alike both so exhausted that they went home as soon as they could.

Once it was finally just the two of them, Steve looked over to where Natasha was pretending to look through her bag and, without making a sound, walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. Natasha froze for a second but relaxed as she felt Steve's breath puff against her skin in the space where he'd pressed his face. "Hi." She could feel his lips lift into a grin just before he pressed a kiss to the curve of her neck. She barely suppressed a shiver, then turned in his arms to face him and responded, "hi," with an equal smile. 

Steve leaned into her and tilted his head down to kiss her properly. Natasha wound her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer, falling into the moment. When they pulled apart, they leaned their foreheads together, smiles never leaving their faces. Natasha couldn't resist going back in for just one more taste of him and Steve smiled, grabbing her hand as she came back down and letting her see the sparkle in his eye before he said, "come here." He tugged on her hand and started walking backwards, returning indoors. She followed, curiosity taking over, as he led her down the hallway to his office. 

She quirked an eyebrow when he let go of her hand to unlock the door but stayed put. And when he opened it and held out a hand for her to enter, she did, for once not able to see where he was going with this. She was opening her mouth to ask when suddenly Steve placed a finger over her mouth. "Shh. Let me --" and then, at a lack for words, Steve stepped closer and pressed his lips to hers in a kiss that carried so much passion it took the air right out of her lungs.

Her heart thudded in her chest when the realization finally dawned on her. Steve pulled away and blinked once, then stared at Natasha with wide, questioning eyes. She looked right back at him with equally wide eyes, saw the anticipation in his gaze, and couldn't help the flush that started creeping up her neck, turning her face a lovely shade of pink. 

Then Steve was smiling that gorgeous smile at her and Natasha unconsciously licked her lips and that was all he needed to take a step forward, place his hand on her waist, and move his lips to her collarbone, brushing his nose against her cheek and nuzzling her neck on his way down, whispering sweet nothings into her skin.

All Natasha could do was stand there and let it happen, watching him through unblinking eyes as he went. He gently moved her into the pillowed and blanketed area she'd set up on his floor months ago, before they started any of this. Steve bent his head lower and lower until his lips were hovering over her chest, heaving but still clothed. He peered up at her, silently asking if this was okay, so Natasha leaned forward and kissed him as her response -- yes. And then Steve moved in and proceeded to worship her body. He pressed open mouthed kisses, laving his tongue across one breast at a time and, even through her shirt and bra, Natasha could feel the heat burning through to her core. 

And then continued his journey south, lowering to his knees, and running his fingers up then back down her sides, stopping to rest them on her hips. He brushed his thumb under the hem of her shirt, lifting it slightly, and then paused, smiling at the way goosebumps arose on her skin with each of his exhales. Then he leaned forward and pressed his lips against her belly, hard enough and low enough that it made her body thrum with desire. He sucked and nibbled on the spot, eventually dragging the skin between his teeth as he pulled away. He soothed the area with his tongue and looked up to see Natasha's eyes flutter shut as she took a shaky breath.

He let the tips of his fingers fall on the waistline of her yoga pants to express his intent and Natasha let out this little whine from the back of her throat that had Steve lifting her up bridal-style and moving her to the floor. He arranged her against the pillows quite comfortably and Natasha sighed in content, wiggling into them as she watched Steve move over her. 

He kissed right below her belly button, drawing a soft giggle out of Natasha that turned into a choked "oh," as he moved upward, drawing her shirt up to brush his lips all over her abdomen. He let his fingers wander, brushing across her arms, hips, thighs, back when she arched it as he took a bra-clad breast into his mouth... he wanted to feel her buzzing before going any further. And feel it he did when she pulled him up for a long kiss. His palm rested against her chest, right where her heart was, and he could feel her pulse literally buzzing against his skin.

So he pulled away and slid back down her body, pressing a chaste kiss atop each breast, then pulling her shirt back down as he went, effectively covering her back up. As he reached his desired destination, he peered back up one last time, to be sure, and Natasha returned his gaze with half-lidded eyes as she uttered almost forcefully, "Yes, Steven."

He flashed her a dopey grin and hooked his thumbs around the waistband of her pants, pulling them down with her underwear all at once after Natasha lifted her hips to help. Steve followed his hands with his lips, brushing everywhere he went, literally adoring Natasha's body. His hands slid down from her thighs to her ankles in a gentle caress that had Natasha winding a hand through his hair just to have something tactile to ground her. And then he pressed a kiss to each ankle bone and gripped one, placing it on his shoulder, leaving the other to her choice. He made his way back up kissing and nipping and licking at her skin, loving getting to know the taste of her, until Natasha was panting beneath him.

He paused just next to where she wanted him, and where he truly wanted to be, to pay a little attention to the insides of her thighs, pressing hard kisses and then immediately replacing that with his tongue, laving at the soft, warm skin there. He tasted a bit of wetness on his tongue and glanced to see that, sure enough, she was already leaking with desire. Steve grinned against her skin and pressed one last kiss to that spot, moving to hover over her heated core. 

He inhaled, taking in the sweet scent of her arousal mixed with her natural amber and vanilla scent. And without warning, he moved in and pressed too sweet of a kiss for the circumstances right atop her clit. Natasha's hips jumped at the sensation and he moved his right hand to hold her steady, his left occupied by holding her leg up and rubbing soothing patterns into her skin. 

She was just beginning to calm down from that initial surprise when Steve flattened his tongue and licked a wet stripe all the way from her entrance to her clit, flicking it when he arrived. He took her subsequent breathy "oh my god" as a sign and continued, taking notes from her along the way. All he wanted to do was please her.

He licked up and down, then drug his tongue in circles around her entrance, slipping inside after a few motions. She gasped and tightened her grip on his hair, but he didn't mind.

He pleased her with his tongue for about a minute before he felt her tightening already. He knew as well as she did that she wasn't going to last long, so he removed his tongue, replacing it with just one finger as he didn't know how much she could actually take. 

Once he was inside her, he could feel that she had room for one more, though it would stretch her a little, so he went back to working over her clit with his tongue as he slid a second finger inside. Natasha's eyes squeezed shut as he began to move inside her, scissoring motions at first and then little come-hither motions that brushed that spot inside her each time. 

He could feel her walls fluttering around his fingers so he pulled out, plunging back in whole-heartedly with his tongue so deep inside her that his nose brushed her clit with each new plunge. He could hear her breathing become ragged, feel her muscles tensing infinitely more, so he pulled out, re-inserted his fingers, and took her clit between his teeth, running a circle around it with his tongue then tugging. He lifted his head up just enough so she could feel his breath and hear him say in a very low voice, "come on Natasha." 

And that was what pushed her over the edge. She came with a throaty moan that turned into a heavy exhale, her entire body shuddering as intense pleasure washed over her. It was an expression that had Steve capturing her lips in a searing kiss in mere moments. She moaned again at the taste of herself on Steve's tongue. When he pulled away to let her breathe, she murmured against his lips in that gravelly, low voice that Steve was quickly coming to love, "потрясающий."

He didn't know what it meant but he was sure it could be nothing bad as he felt Natasha's smile when she leaned back in to kiss him again. Steve laid down next to her, essentially draping himself over her body, wanting to shield her from the cold air-conditioned atmosphere. He continued to slide is hands up and down her sides, a calm falling over the room that lulled them both into a sense of peace. 

Eventually, Natasha shifted under him, turning her head to glance at Steve. Her lips quirked into a grin and she broke the comfortable silence.

"I'm never going to be able to look at this room the same way again," she dead-panned. 

Steve broke into a long, full laugh, kissing her temple, the smile still on his face, before standing and pulling her up, both of them having decided without speaking that it was time to go home. Once she was standing he placed his hands on her waist to ground her and asked, "can you walk?"

He was being totally serious, and had the best intentions - he truly wanted to make sure she was good to go. But at the glare she gave him, he knew she took it as him being cocky and teasing. So he gave a sheepish smile and let go of her, moving to recover her discarded pants. However, as soon as Natasha took a step, her knees wobbled a bit and Steve returned to her side immediately, smoothly sliding an arm around her waist to help her, but not making it too obvious, so as not to damage her pride.

Maybe Natasha knew what he was doing, but she kept quiet as he walked her to her car. She unlocked the door and opened it a little, then turned back to Steve. He swayed on his feet, leaning in closer to press their lips together again -- he was a lost cause when it came to this girl. 

When they parted, Natasha smiled softly at him, "I had a great time, these past few days."

"I'm glad, Nat. You deserve a little break," he responded as he tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. 

Natasha said nothing but nuzzled her face into his hand a little bit more and kissed his palm before straightening back up. "I'll talk to you later," and then she was inside the car, door shut, and driving away as Steve watched her go.

Finally, he turned, shaking his own head at himself, thinking _you are so whipped, Rogers_.

* * *

Natasha went straight home to see if her parents were there. They weren't, so she grabbed her gym bag and a change of clothes and headed to the gym, finding that she needed to work off some pent up energy and emotions, and this was the best way she knew how. 

Once she was finally sweating and panting enough to call herself satisfactorily worn out, she made a split-second decision and texted Steve that she'd be at his place in fifteen minutes. After all, her parents weren't home, and they did still need to have a talk. 

He responded saying he wasn't home, he was out getting groceries, but she could make herself at home and he'd be back within the hour. 

Natasha grinned to herself when she realized what this meant - she would have the golden opportunity of snooping in Steve's stuff. And with that, she packed her things and headed to Steve's. 

She let herself in and decided that, before anything else, she was in need of a shower. She felt a bit like she was intruding on some private part of his life, but she didn't think he'd mind. After all, he said make herself at home...

So with that, she shrugged, turned on the water and exited the bathroom. She peeled off her sweat-soaked clothes, dropping them in a pile outside the door before wandering back in to the now-steamy room. 

She borrowed Steve's body wash and shampoo, and smiled when the smell reminded her of him. She would be pleased to keep that with her now that she was using it, too. 

Steve walked in and immediately called "Nat?" as he closed the door behind him and put the bags of groceries on the counter. At hearing no response, he ventured further into the apartment, picking up on the sound of water running as he approached his bedroom. 

"Nat?" he tried again, just as his eyes landed on a pile of clothes by the door to the bathroom. So she was in the shower then -- interesting. He picked up the pile of clothes, trying his hardest to ignore her bra and underwear, well, what there was of it, anyway - it looked more like some strings stitched together than..no, no, he wasn't looking. He placed the garments in with his own dirty clothes in his laundry basket and was just about to knock on the bathroom door when it opened and he nearly collided with Natasha. Clad only in one of his towels, hair wet, water droplets still sliding across her collarbone and disappearing beneath the towel at the top of her breasts, she looked like a treat, and Steve swallowed hard and used all of his will-power not to take her right there. 

She, of course, noticed his inner turmoil, and quirked an eyebrow. "Hi!" she said cheerily and innocently, "I didn't hear you come in." Steve was unmoving, though, and she needed to get dressed if they wanted to have a mature conversation, so she leaned up and pecked him on the cheek, squeezing his arm before sliding around him and to her bag that was on the floor near his bed. 

Finally, Steve returned to the present and cleared his throat, turning to face her.

"Yeah, I just got back." 

Natasha smiled easily, making him relax with just one look.

"Actually, I better... go put the groceries away," he voiced his realization aloud. 

Natasha nodded. "Good idea. I'll go get changed and be out in a few minutes." As she brushed past him to return to the bathroom, she leaned up for a real kiss, this time. 

Steve sighed as it was over too soon - Natasha pulling away and smiling brightly at him before slipping into the bathroom. 

As promised, Natasha padded out into the kitchen only minutes later, hair curling as it dried and face bare of any makeup in a way that made her look, to Steve, like an angel sent straight down from heaven. 

"Hey," she greeted, for the second time, as she leaned against the counter. 

Now Steve seemed to be back to himself and he leaned down to kiss her. 

"Hey," he returned with a smile.

"So what's for dinner?" Natasha was joking, but Steve answered enthusiastically nonetheless.

"Well, you texted me just in time. So I got stuff to make beef stroganoff, risotto, curry, or tacos." 

At Natasha's amused look, he continued, "well, I wasn't sure what you'd feel like, so I just got all your favorites." Steve looked rather sheepish, but Natasha thought it was sweet, so she made sure he knew.

"Thank you," she said sincerely before leaning up to kiss him again and then grabbing his hand, tugging him to the couch. "Come on, we have things to talk about." 

It was vague, and it scared Steve, and it must've showed on his face because when they got to the couch and she plopped them down and turned to look at him, she laughed. 

"Don't worry, it's nothing bad," at his still unsure look, she continued, "I promise."

Steve sighed and leaned into the cushions, pulling Natasha's legs into his lap as she leaned against the arm of the couch, body perpendicular to his. "If you say so," he acquiesced and began absentmindedly brushing his thumb across her ankle bone. 

"I swear. I just think we should probably talk about our... behavior.. when in the presence of others," Natasha began. 

Steve smirked a little but nodded, silently telling her to continue.

"Well, so, I think it's saying something that Clint noticed. Granted, he's pretty observant, probably more than most, but still."

Steve sighed softly, seeing where she was going with this now. "You're worried other people noticed, too, or might notice if we don't be more careful."

"Yeah," Natasha breathed, a tentative look crossing her features.

Steve dropped his head back on the couch, blowing out a breath, then shifted to look at her. "What do you think we should do?"

Natasha chewed on her lip, hesitating for a moment before answering. "Well, I think we maybe need to be around each other less, you know, at school mainly." She pulled her legs from his lap, crossing them under her as she played with a loose string on the cushion, waiting for his inevitably argumentative reaction.

She didn't have to wait for his response for long, because then Steve was sitting up straighter and protesting, "What? No, no we don't have to do that. I'll.. I'll exercise more self-control, I'll keep it strictly professional."

Natasha sent him a dubious look and Steve scoffed. "I can! I can do it, Nat. Please, I just want you around me." He reached out for her and pulled her flush against him in one motion. 

Natasha snuggled into his embrace and buried her head in his chest, running her hand across his solid abdomen. "It's not that I don't want to be near you, Steve. I just think... well, Clint said he noticed you giving me *eyes* and as much as I believe in you, I just don't know if that's something you can control."

Steve sighed and stroked her back as he thought it over. "Well, we could just tell him, if he's mostly who you're worried about."

Natasha's head popped up so quickly he was worried she might've given herself whiplash. "No! Are you serious? Absolutely not, Steven Grant Rogers. As far as Clint knows, you are my teacher, and I have no love life, and you are not into me whatsoever. And it is going to stay that way, okay?" She emphasized her last sentence by poking his chest with each word, hard enough that he was forced backwards each time. 

She looked so serious and commanding, to anyone else it probably would've been scary, but Steve simply found it cute. He grabbed Natasha's hand before she could attack him with it again and stilled her movements, bringing it to his lips and then not letting go. 

"Okay, we won't tell him --"

" _You_ won't tell him."

"Yes, _I_ won't tell Clint a thing. If and when you decide to tell him, well, that's your decision. He’s your friend."

"That's right." Natasha looked smug now and Steve wanted to kiss the grin right off her face, but he was going to show her that he could be very much in control of himself.

He pulled her back down to his chest but didn't show any affection other than lightly stroking her back, fingers dancing all the way up to her neck and across her shoulder blades, then back down again. He repeated the pattern to put her more at ease and was happy to see it working. 

"I can't help it that when I see you my feelings are strong enough to show through," he said charmingly, "but I will try harder, okay?"

Natasha seemed satisfied with that and murmured an "okay" into his chest as she snuggled in further. 

Steve smiled, kissed the top of her head, and resumed the show they'd been watching the last time she was over. 

They settled into a quiet calm and before he knew it, Steve could feel Natasha's breaths evening out against his skin and knew she was falling asleep. It filled him with a warmth he couldn't describe and he slipped further down the couch, maneuvering them both into a more comfortable position to settle into a little cat-nap. 

Over an hour later, he awoke to find Natasha completely on top of him, probably partially due to his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, holding her to him. 

Steve smiled and thought to himself, _I could get used to waking up this way_. Her hair had fallen in her face and with every little puff of air - which she would deny were snores until the bitter end - the strands lifted up and fell back down. She was, to put it simply, adorable. He tucked the hair behind her ears, giving him a clear view of her face, and kissed the crown of her head before sliding out from underneath her. 

He remembered an earlier thought and grabbed his laundry basket, starting a load so that Natasha would have clean clothes to take home with her. She woke up not long after he left, unable to sleep without her human heater, and was rifling through his cupboards when he returned. 

"Hungry?" 

Natasha jumped, not having heard him come in, and turned to find Steve leaning against the counter, one hip jutted out, hair mussed, looking quite delicious. 

"Mmm, yes," she responded, stalking towards him, "in more ways than one." She threw a wink in his direction but Steve seemed unaffected, laughing and leaning down to kiss her forehead before brushing past her to open the refrigerator. 

"Food first, then other things," he said when he looked back at her, winking just the same.

"Ughh, fine, if you insist," Natasha playfully countered. 

"So what do you want?"

"I was thinking I'd like to see your attempt at a stroganoff, Rogers."

Steve grinned cheekily. "I was so hoping you'd say that."

Natasha sat on the counter and watched Steve while he cooked, chatting about the world, themselves, the future, but the conversation was kept light, for which they both were appreciative. When he left briefly to switch out the laundry, Natasha took over, stirring but stopping herself from tasting it, truly wanting to know how close he could get it to a real Russian dish. 

And when they sat down to eat, she was pleasantly surprised. Her praises and statements that it tasted like home made Steve blush a little, but he was happy to be able to give her that. 

They finished and Steve went immediately to clean up, but Natasha beat him to it. She shooed him away and went to clean while he surrendered and left to do the laundry. 

The domesticity of it went by completely unnoticed. However, when Natasha entered the bedroom to find Steve folding her clothes, it hit her, and she couldn't help but smile at the fluttering feeling in her chest that arose at watching him. 

She came around to sit on the bed and just as he was bending to put the clothes back in her bag, she took them from his hands, walked to his dresser, and opened the drawer she knew was empty, placing them inside and closing it as if nothing extremely momentous had just transpired. 

She turned back to find Steve gaping at her and had to suppress a laugh at the expression, because she knew it was big, what she'd just done. She was half-expecting him to go take them back out, tell her no, they weren't there yet, but he didn't, and she smiled. Those few garments would be the first of her things to reside in his apartment, and they both were overjoyed at what this meant. 

Still, to be sure, Natasha simply asked, "okay?"

Steve grinned widely, nodding. "Definitely."

Natasha smiled and kissed him, letting him deepen it because, honestly, it was the kind of moment that called for it. She pulled away first, when her phone buzzed, and sighed when she read the text. 

"I'm sorry, my parents are home and asking where I am. I gotta go."

Steve seemed unfazed. "No worries," he smiled, "I'll see you tomorrow."

He walked her to the door and Natasha leaned up to kiss him, then turned and left him smiling after her. And as he walked back into his bedroom and glanced at the drawer that now contained some of her things, Steve thought to himself that life was pretty good. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I just kind of realized this whole chapter is fluff? which is good because I have accidentally written in some angst to the next so... soak this up, folks. 
> 
> in other news, I love these two so much god my heart expanded three sizes I think when I read back over this. 
> 
> please let me know what you thought!! also sorry for the less frequent posting.. I have two problems: 1) work has been crazy, and 2) I have too many ideas rushing at me that I am having trouble just sitting down and writing one of them. ugh. hopefully it'll stop soon
> 
> also: here's your Russian translation/pronunciation for this chapter  
> потрясающий - pronounced "potryasayushchiy" (potré-sigh-yuh-she)  
> roughly translates to - tremendous, terrific, breathtaking, incredible


	23. Parent-meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a montage of moments between everyone's fav couple, and later, meeting Steve's mom!

The next days passed in a flurry of stolen moments. In Steve’s office, at Steve’s apartment, even once at Natasha’s house when she thought her parents wouldn’t be home for a while. Some of those times were to make out and release the energy that built up, sizzling inside both of them each time they caught sight of the other. But other times were to simply take a breath, to relax and be with each other. Natasha thought those moments might be her favorite… Cuddled on Steve’s couch, his hand softly carding through her hair as they watched a movie or read their books; having picnic lunches on the floor in his office and pretending for a while that they were out on a real date in the sunshine ( _in public_ , her brain helpfully supplied before she squashed that down).

Or the one time that they were at her house, in the evening two days after they got back from the retreat. Steve had driven her home and ended up staying, Natasha’s offer to cook dinner an opportunity he just couldn’t pass up. While she cooked, they conversed about everything and nothing at all. And when the food was gone and the dishes had been all put away, Steve stayed.

They’d moved to the couch and Natasha had immediately shifted so her back was pressed against his chest, his arms coming around her to clasp loosely and keep her in place. She reached her arm out to grab the book that was sitting on the coffee table and Steve smiled when he saw the cover — it was the book he’d assigned to their class last week, and Natasha was already two-thirds of the way through it.

She opened it, resting her hands on her belly just above Steve’s, and in a quick but gentle move, he took the book out of her hands, opened it, and began to read aloud. Natasha smiled, pointing to the paragraph she left off at, and settled into Steve with a sigh, turning so her cheek was resting against his chest. 

That, mixed with the feel of Steve’s other hand passing through her hair, sent Natasha into a deep state of relaxation. She could simply listen to Steve read, and absorb what was happening, feeling the steady beat of his heart … it was absolute tranquility. Every once in a while she would ask a question, voice low but nonetheless inquisitive, and Steve happily answered, the two of them engaging in the intellectual conversation that they both so cherished for a little while.

They’d just settled back into reading after one of these conversations when Natasha heard the unmistakable sound of keys in the lock. She moved immediately away from Steve, to the complete other side of the couch, with wide eyes, muttering curses as she frantically re-arranged everything, though nothing had really been moved in the first place.

“Fuck, fuck, I didn’t realize how late it was.”

Truthfully, Steve didn’t realize it either, but when he checked his watch, it was only 7:30. He touched Natasha’s arm, trying to calm her down. “It’s only 7:30, Nat. I’ve tutored students until later hours…” he half-whispered, hoping she would get the idea.

Her eyes changed and he could see that she understood, as she visibly relaxed, and especially when she arched an eyebrow at him and said, “Other students, huh?”

Steve chuckled and shook his head, about to respond when the door finally opened and he and Natasha both turned around, smiles dropping a little when her father entered and looked directly at them. There was a pause, where time felt like it had stopped altogether before the yelling began.

“Natalia! What is going on?!” her adoptive father shouted in Russian as he stomped towards the couch. Natasha slid as far away from Steve as possible before moving to stand up just as her father yanked her by the arm off the couch completely.

“Who is this man?!” he glared at Steve, who was clueless as to what was being said due to his not understanding Russian but could tell it was nothing very pleasant. “I knew it!” Natasha’s father turned back to her, voice dripping with animosity, “You are a little whore. I am always right!”

Natasha’s eyes widened and Steve saw the signs in her body language that she was recoiling, her walls were going up — she was hurt, and apparently, she’d had enough of this.

She wriggled out of her father’s grasp as she shouted back at him “Papa!” It was evidently loud and forceful enough for her father, Ivan, if Steve was remembering correctly, to stop his tirade long enough for Natasha to speak again, in English so Steve would understand what was happening.

“He is my _teacher_ , Papa! Mr. Rogers — he is here to offer me some extra help.”

Steve finally stopped looking between them and stood, offering his hand a little hesitantly. But then _Ivan_ (he’d stopped internally referring to him as Natasha’s father as soon as he’d seen her draw into herself — a real father wouldn’t treat their child that way) — Ivan’s whole demeanor changed and he took Steve’s hand, shaking it enthusiastically, laughing off the previous few minutes in broken English, “I’m sorry, about all that. You see my daughter didn’t tell me she would be having a guest tonight. .. But you are helping my Natalia receive her A’s?”

Steve retrieved his hand and shifted uncomfortably on his feet, not liking how quickly the man had just turned his whole attitude around. He risked a glance at Natasha, who just smiled weakly and shrugged.

So he turned back to Ivan and gave his most polite, unassuming smile. “Yes, sir. You have a very bright daughter.”

Ivan grinned at that and moved closer, dropping his voice an octave so Natasha wouldn’t hear. “If she is so smart as you say, then tell me why does she need a tutor?”

Steve pulled away, taken aback, and saw that Ivan seemed to think he was being funny, that he was joking, but Steve had a feeling there was some honesty behind the question, and he didn’t like it.

“I don’t think she needs one, sir. It’s just the fact that she will be taking more AP exams than there are classes offered at the school, and I happen to be well-versed on a few of them. It has nothing to do with being smart. In fact, it’s _because_ she’s so smart and driven that I’m even here.” 

Steve was definitely bristling at this point, but he couldn’t help it. This was his _girl_ , and everything he said was true. Natasha was prepping for seven AP exams, and the school only had actual classes for three of them, so Steve had been helping her study for the others. It was the only way the school would pay for her to take them.

Ivan seemed to stop at that, realizing maybe he’d been found out, and smiled a fake smile at Steve. “Well, I thank you for all your hard work. You must be tired, and I’m sure your wife is waiting for you.”

He’d walked back to the door and was now holding it open, an unmistakable sign of asking someone to leave. Steve spared another glance at Natasha, who met his eyes with an apologetic and sad gaze, a little bit of fight flickering in her eyes before she ultimately cast them downwards. 

Steve sighed and walked to the door, nodding politely at Ivan, offering a “pleasure to meet you, sir,” and then cast one last look at Natasha, eyes flicking over her to try to understand the state she was in and settling for “see you at school tomorrow, Ms. Romanoff,” as light but forceful as he could make it. He wanted her to feel better, but he also wanted her to come to school tomorrow and see him and based on her body language right then that didn’t seem so likely. Miraculously, though, she met his eyes and nodded once, silently communicating her thoughts with a small, tight grin.

Steve accepted that and left, and he did see her at school the next day. In fact, she made extra time in her schedule to spend time with him because she just needed to be held for a while, to know that they were still okay. She had never planned on him meeting Ivan, ever, if she could help it, and she told Steve as much as he held her close and buried his face in her neck, needing this as much as she did. 

He laughed at that and told her the one truth he thought might make her smile — “well at least now I know I don’t need to worry about his approval. Because fuck him.” His tone was not joking, but it did the trick and Natasha huffed out a laugh against his collarbone, turning her head so she could look at him. She smiled, her little low spell now broken, and kissed Steve sweetly, thinking about freedom and the future.

Other than that, the last few days had been pretty good. Sure, Natasha hadn’t seen Steve as often because she was getting busier (hence _stolen_ moments), but when she looked back, the time they had spent together had been great. A warm, golden sort of aura tinted the memories she had of those moments, and Natasha had a seemingly permanent little smile at all times because of it, because of him. She wondered idly as she got ready for bed one night if this was what love was … and immediately shook the thought away. 

Love was for movies and children and women and men who were desperate and lonely and would take a beating time and time again if their partner professed their love for them after. No, Natasha had seen enough in her young life of people saying they loved her and their actions speaking far differently, to know that love probably wasn’t real. Maybe they loved the image of her, or what she did for them, or what they saw her as … but never the real her.

Still, as she heard her phone buzz and saw the screen alight with Steve’s name, the smile that automatically graced her features and the flutter she felt inside made her wonder if this was the closest she might get to the kind of thing that happens in fairy tales….

However, when she picked up the phone and unlocked it to read the message, those thoughts left her mind immediately. Suddenly the only thing flooding her mind was panic. Because the three consecutive texts staring up at her were not what she was expecting. At all.

_So my mom just called and told me she’s coming this weekend..._

_she’ll be here tomorrow afternoon_ …

_Nat, I want to tell her._

She just stood there, frozen, stunned, for a minute. And then her phone was buzzing again, breaking her out of her moment.

_Nat?_

She didn’t respond right away, still processing everything and trying to think straight, and then he was calling her. She answered but didn’t say anything so all he could hear was her light breathing.

“Nat?” Still no answer.

“Natasha, we don’t have to. It was just something.. I just thought maybe it would be .. no, you know what, never mind. Stupid idea, I’m sorry for worrying you. It’s too soon, god, what was I thinking?”

His rambling was cut off by a quiet voice over the phone. “Steve.”

“Yeah?”

“Okay.”

“What? Natasha are you sure—“

“Yes.” And she was. Hadn’t felt so strongly about something in a while, since they first decided to give this a go, actually. She wanted to meet his mom — as his girlfriend. “Yeah, Steve. I’m sure. I would love to re-meet your mom.” She was smiling now, nodding with certainty, and wished Steve could see so he wouldn’t be so hesitant to agree.

As it was, he trusted her enough to go with what she was saying. He blew out a breath, “okay. Thank you, Nat. I promise, it’ll be great. She’ll love you. Oh man, I’m so excited.” She laughed, absorbing his energy through the phone. “Hey, don’t be nervous, okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” she replied with a facade of confidence.

Steve laughed a little, gleeful as ever. “Okay. Wow, you’re incredible, Nat. Ok. I’ll see you tomorrow. I don’t want to tell her right away but… maybe Saturday. I don’t know, you sleep on it, ‘kay? We can decide tomorrow.”

“Mkay,” Natasha responded, his voice making her feel comforted and, thus, sleepy.

“Hey, Nat?”

“Hmm?”

“You really are the best.”

She smirked and even though she knew he couldn’t see it, she was sure he could hear it in her voice. “I know.”

Sure enough, Steve chuckled softly. “Goodnight, baby girl, sleep tight.”

“Night Steve,” she whispered, warmth spreading through her body. She smiled softly as she hung up the phone and drifted into a restful slumber.

They decided the next day to meet up Saturday like normal, but just with the addition of Steve’s mom, and Steve would introduce Natasha as his girlfriend this time. She would let Steve have a night with just his mom, that night, and occupy her Friday night with work since she’d been skipping out on that lately in favor of nights in with Steve.

So instead of their normal weekend, that’s how Natasha ended up sitting alone in Steve’s bedroom while he and his mother had a talk outside. Because he did it, they did it, they told her, all shy but happy smiles and holding hands and Mrs. Rogers’ eyes had widened but, to her credit, she didn’t say anything with Natasha still in the room. No, she’d nodded once, then asked in a way that left no room for disagreement, “Steven may I please speak to you outside? Alone,” she added with a pointed though not harsh look towards Natasha.

That had been approximately fifteen minutes ago and Natasha was beginning to get nervous. She somehow thought it had been a good idea when Steve asked her the night before and _fuck_ , now it was all going to go to shit because of course they shouldn’t be together. This was wrong, and his mom was never going to be okay with it, and then he would end it right then and there because she knew him, he loved and obeyed his mother. As soon as he heard her reasoning for them to break up, he would leave Natasha alone just like everyone else and — a knock interrupted her panicky train of thought.

“Nat?”

It was Steve. She could handle this, she told herself. She’d been alone all this time, and she would be just fine alone again. Natasha took a deep breath, ran a shaky hand through her hair, plastered a sweet smile on her face, and opened the door. But it wasn’t just Steve. Sarah was right. there.

Natasha swallowed thickly, looking quickly between the mother-son duo, and then she was being pulled into a hug. _What?!_ She tried to pull away, confused, but the arms around her held her in place and as she inhaled, the unmistakable scent of an older woman’s perfume mixed with tea and something sweet filled her nostrils. _So this was what a mother smelled like_ , Natasha idly wondered as she was being let go after Steve chuckled and said, fondly exasperated, “Mom, you can let her go now.”

When she was back in a standing position, she met Steve’s eyes. They were sparkling with happiness and she was helpless to stop her own smile from growing. Then she looked to Mrs. Rogers, who was smilingly her own knowing little grin at them both.

“Welcome to the family, dear.”

Natasha smiled softly, but then confusion took over her features. “Thank you … but, I don’t understand, I mean, how can you be on board with… this?” Natasha asked tentatively.

Mrs. Rogers motioned for them all to sit at Steve’s small kitchen table. “Steven explained everything to me and, well, I could see how happy you make him, happier even than when he was with dear Margaret,” Natasha’s mouth formed a little O. 

Steve had told her about Peggy once in a whispered confession when they were lying together in comfortable silence, and she had since secretly feared she would never be able to compete, but there was Steve’s own mother telling her she made him even happier, and Steve was blushing, which meant it was true... “I am of the mindset, Natasha, that anyone who can bring some light into my son’s life is absolutely welcome. No matter what.”

Natasha, still slightly shocked, asked again, “Are you sure? Our .. situation … how can you support this relationship, knowing that?”

Mrs. Rogers smiled softly, knowing that Natasha would ask that and feeling even more certain in her opinion seeing how concerned the young woman was. “Let me tell you something, Natasha. You too, Steven. The only thing that truly matters in life, I think you’ll come to understand or maybe already do, is finding a way to be happy. After all, if one is not happy, what’s the point in living at all?” she shrugged, casually brushing off a thought that Natasha had profoundly struggled with for the last few years, and Natasha stared in amazement, enraptured for the rest of the little speech.

Sarah explained that she supported their relationship wholeheartedly because they made each other happy, and didn’t they realize how _rare_ it was for two people to find one another as they had? To be so perfectly fit together like gloves? (Because yes, she did notice, even back when she first met Natasha, and she knew it just from what Steve had told her.)

“So really, the question to be begged is how can I not support something like that?” She said it like it was the simplest thing in the world, and, Natasha thought, maybe it was.

“For anyone, really,” she went on, “but especially considering my son is involved. How could I _not_ want him to be part of one of those rare couples that are really right for each other? One of those rare individuals who are actually content with his life? And the same goes for you, darling. From what Steve has told me, you deserve this just as much. So my point is … who am I to stand in the way of happiness?”

Natasha nodded, understanding, and accepting that Mrs. Rogers really didn’t have a problem with them, and suddenly it was like a weight was lifted off her chest. She looked from her to Steve, who was regarding her with a soft look in his eyes, one that she only saw when he was feeling exceptionally sentimental, and she sent a small smile his way before turning back to his mother.

“Well, then I guess all I can say is thank you, Mrs. Rogers.”

“Sarah, dear. You’re part of the family now. It’s Sarah, please.”

Natasha smiled, “Sarah, then. Thank you,” she sent a warm smile to the woman.

“It’s nothing, really,” she waved it off like letting this happen was the obvious thing to do, even though all three of them knew it was not.

Still, Steve stood, gave his mother a kiss on the cheek, and moved to stand behind Natasha, letting his fingertips brush her shoulder lightly. “Well, now that that’s all settled, what would my two best girls like for lunch? My treat,” Steve grinned, as pleased and relieved as Natasha at how the recent events had just unfolded.

And with that, the three spent the entire day together, Sarah and Natasha getting to know each other and Steve on the receiving end of his fair share of embarrassment. He couldn’t complain though, as the two most important women in his life bonding was enough to make up for all of it. To be honest, Sarah knew she liked Natasha the moment she met her all those months ago. And finding out that they were together hadn’t been all that much of a surprise, so she had no real strong reaction when they officially came out and told her as much.

They dropped Natasha off at home, pausing for last goodbyes in the car, and Sarah made sure to remind Natasha as she was opening the car door, “remember I’m a doctor, dear! Give me a call if you ever need a prescription for the pill or something like that!” She winked and Natasha knew she was teasing (well, maybe half-teasing) but it did strike her as interesting. 

Clearly, Steve had left out the part about her job, or else Sarah, like most people, would assume she was already on the pill (they would be correct). It didn’t matter — Steve’s omission was surely intentional and Natasha felt no inclination to tell his mother that her son was dating a stripper. She was perfectly fine being the student he was seeing — that was complicated enough, for crying out loud. Natasha was going to say something clever in response but then Steve was stammering out, face flushed a bright red,

“Ma! We aren’t — we haven’t — oh my god,” he seemed to shut himself up and buried his head in his hands. Sarah and Natasha shared a laugh at this silly, adorable man’s behavior, and then Sarah was shooing the couple out of the car.

Steve walked her to the door like a true gentleman and kissed her sweetly, knowing his mom was watching.

“Thank you for today,” she whispered, peering up at him as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I didn’t know I needed this but… I’m so happy, Steve,” she admitted softly.

“Me too, Nat. Me too..” he drifted off.

She smiled and pecked his lips one more time before sliding around him and waving to his mother. She and Steve exchanged their last words, with promises to talk later, and Natasha disappeared inside the house.

As Steve returned to the car and drove him and his mother home, he was feeling on top of the world. Little did he know, Natasha was feeling the same. They were both thinking to themselves how amazing it was, that they’ve just surpassed this huge obstacle. It was one thing less to worry about, and they cherished the feeling of a weight being lifted off their backs while they could. After everything, they deserved a win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok soo there was more angst in that than I planned? I'm sorry bc I love my angel Nat but. it felt right for the story. ugh. but anyway what did you think? I love Sarah Rogers so much it's ridiculous and I hope that came through! thank you for reading <333


	24. Together-ing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Steve and Natasha share some more important moments

It turned out that having Sarah’s approval and knowledge was amazing for Steve and Natasha’s relationship. They felt freer, more fearless and happier, more secure, and it showed. Natasha found any excuse to see Steve, and their times together (mostly in his office) consisted of Natasha waltzing in, straddling him, and the two of them making out for a good few minutes before they were interrupted by a knock or voices in the hallway (they kind of stopped locking the door in their new fearlessness), upon which Natasha would slide off and grab a makeup wipe from Steve’s locked drawer to clean his face of any evidence before sitting in the chair opposite his desk. She’d taken to doing that, as well — keeping makeup wipes, concealer, and a hairbrush in her locker or backpack or Steve’s office (or all three) at all times. Everything was under control and normal and it was like they were walking on air. 

Happiness infected them and affected everything they did, but especially when they were together. Once, they were making out later in the evening after most of the staff had gone home. Natasha was wearing a skirt (half because it was warm that day and half because she just wanted to torture Steve a little bit — he was just too easy), and apparently the kissing had become a bit too heated. 

Steve’s hand started creeping up her thigh under her skirt and she pulled away while squealing “Steve!” She swatted him on the chest, making Steve laugh and duck his head. “Hey!” he protested while chuckling all the same. It wasn’t really a sexual moment at all, well by nature it was, but it was more playful, evidence of their comfort levels with each other. They ended up laughing together, feeling light as had been the norm recently, and Natasha pecked his lips before sliding away to sit on the floor space and read the chapters he’d assigned for homework. 

However, these were the only two times they were really able to be together at school in the beginning of the week. See, after the joyous weekend with Steve’s mom, they barely saw each other once Monday morning had come around. Steve was busy grading and in meetings, and Natasha had graduation rehearsals, study sessions, and some of the same meetings Steve had. So they _saw_ each other, but they didn’t really _see_ each other.

Finally, halfway through the week, they caught a break and were able to be alone with each other for a long(ish) period of time. Natasha was straddling Steve, her head resting in the crook of his neck so with every exhale, he could feel her little puffs of breath. Her fingers were playing with the hair at the nape of his neck while he read out loud. Only this time, it wasn’t anything he’d assigned to their class… it was poetry, and Natasha felt like she was living in some sort of dream. 

Steve’s hand was pressed lightly against her lower back, thumb running up and down slowly, over the material of her shirt, but she could feel the heat of it anyway, warming her up and melting away all the stress of the week. It was quiet, save for the sound of Steve’s low voice and the beating of both their hearts — a serene moment that was so rare for the two of them. 

They only parted when the bell rang signaling the end of lunch time. And then the longing set in. It was like the closer they got, the more they bonded and the stronger their relationship became, the more painful every second apart was. Steve was aware of this and thought it was probably too soon to be feeling that way, so he tried to lighten up their interactions and focus on making this last month for her the best it possibly could. 

However, the very next day that resolve sort of … went on the back burner. 

Steve was in his classroom, just after a class had finished, packing up before he was going to head to the teacher’s lounge. It happened to be the class Natasha was in, and seeing her had sparked the idea to steal away some bagels from the box he’d seen that morning teacher’s lounge to have something for her when she came to his office that afternoon. 

His door was still open, enough for him to hear the commotion in the hallways. Normally all his ears could comprehend was a jumble of high school conversation and occasional laughs, curses, or lockers slamming shut. However, on this day, at this time, he heard one voice above all the others, cockily saying, “yeah, you know Natasha Romanoff?” 

Steve froze in his movements. There were some interested mumbles, then “well she might go with me to prom and then I am definitely going to tap that,” ego filling the voice of the speaker, who Steve realized was none other than Brock Rumlow. 

Righteous anger filled him, and only grew as he listened to the responses of Rumlow’s captive audience. 

“No way, dude!”

“Fuck, you’re lucky..”

“Damn what a little slut!”

“And you’re not gonna share? What the hell bro?! Call us in when you’re done man.”

Rumlow only laughed and shut his locker, the group walking away after that, Steve presumed upon hearing their voices fade. 

He just sat there for a moment, trying to collect himself, to stop himself from doing something that would no doubt get him fired like pummeling those boys until they wouldn’t be able to do anything with their lower parts for a long long time. Instead, he took some deep breaths, unclenched his fist, and went to find his girlfriend. 

Natasha was standing just past her locker, back to him as she was talking to Maria Hill. 

Before Natasha could even see him, she felt a presence behind her, and glanced up when Maria turned slightly, greeting “Hi Mr. Rogers,” in a cautious manner. 

“Ladies,” he responded politely, though his voice was tense and thick. 

Natasha finally turned to look at him and noticed why Maria seemed a little nervous — Steve looked dark, angry, maybe a little murderous if she knew he wasn’t such a softie. 

And then he looked right at her and spoke, “Ms. Romanoff, if I could see you in my office.” It wasn’t even a question, left no room for argument, and Natasha glanced to Maria, giving her a scared look before turning back to Steve, expression neutral again. “Sure, of course.” 

She slung her backpack further onto her shoulder and muttered a “see you later” to Maria before following Steve. She could see the muscles in his back, meaning he was tense, also evidenced by the clench of his jaw. She spent the entire walk to his office wondering if she really did do something to anger him. 

As soon as the door was shut behind her, though, Steve turned and in a flash, he was pressing her to the door, kissing her, hard. 

Natasha grunted but responded not much later, winding her arms around his neck and pulling him even closer so he was pressed entirely against her. Steve’s hands fell to her hips, holding so tightly that she thought she might have light bruises the next day. 

When he finally pulled away, resting his forehead against hers, Natasha was breathing heavily, lips swollen and red, and Steve didn’t look much different. When he opened his eyes, Natasha was expecting to see desire, and she did, but it was overshadowed by something much more innocent, maybe a little sad, too. 

“What was that for?” she couldn’t stop herself from asking. 

Steve blinked his eyes slowly. “Guys are dicks.” And then he leaned back in to kiss her again, much shorter and sweeter this time. 

Natasha giggled and put a finger on his chest to keep him at a reasonable distance, their faces still only centimeters apart. “What?”

“Nothing,” Steve’s head shook against her skin, their noses rubbing together. “Just… they’re not ..  don’t let yourself get fooled by them, okay? You’re valuable and not a piece of meat and you are so much better than them and, god, you deserve so _so_ much more.”

The way his head hung low and his eyes were downcast, blinking slowly as if in deep thought, made him look very much like a puppy, and Natasha’s heart squeezed. He was too sweet. “Steve,” her voice came out soft, filled with affection and he could sense a little smile, so he looked up, guided by her hand under his chin, and sure enough, the her lips were turned up in one corner. Her hand moved to cup his cheek, “you don’t have anything to worry about, okay? You’ve got me, and I can take care of myself, if that’s what you’re thinking about.”

Steve sighed and nodded a little. He reached up and took her hand from his cheek, bringing it to his lips and squeezing once before letting it drop gently. “I know.”

Natasha smiled brightly and kissed him sweetly, leaning into him just to let him have a little more contact. “I’m glad. Now can I go…” She batted her eyelashes in that playfully flirtatious way a schoolgirl with a crush might, “Mr. Rogers?”

Steve laughed and shook his head, making Natasha smile with glee and genuine happiness. “Yes, Natasha, you may go,” Steve said, amused smile never leaving his face and seeping into his tone of voice, as well. She leaned up and Steve pressed one last kiss to her forehead. “Just remember what I said, okay?” His voice was earnest and his eyes matched it. 

He clearly wasn’t over whatever had possessed him earlier — he was trying, but the worry wouldn’t go away. And that’s just because he cared about her so much. It would probably never go away. Natasha understood all this to some degree, so she took him into her arms and hugged him tight, whispering “I will” into his ear when he leaned his head down so his forehead rested on her shoulder. 

Eventually Steve pulled back, ever mindful of the time and her responsibilities. He laced their fingers together, for one last moment of contact, and then let her go, smiling gently, and turned around to his desk to write something on a piece of paper. When he turned back to face Natasha, she was watching him with her backpack on, one eyebrow arched with an amused inquisitiveness. 

Steve handed her the paper, and while Natasha looked it over, he explained “I figured I probably kept you here long enough that you’ll be late to your next class. And if not.. save it for a rainy day,” he finished with a shrug and a boyish grin.

Then Natasha’s features turned into one of absolute delight. “Why Steven,” she feigned shock, “I didn’t know you were such a rule-breaker!”

Steve laughed loudly, face contorting into barely contained hysterics. “Oh Tasha, you have nooo idea,” he finally breathed out, lips forming a softer smile. 

Natasha smirked, “well I can’t wait to find out.” Then with a wink and a flip of red hair over her shoulder, she was gone and Steve was left smiling to himself and, as always, looking forward to later that afternoon when he would next have her alone. 

As fate would have it, he did not get to see Natasha after school that day, as she was called in to cover for someone at work last minute. She’d apologized profusely and Steve had waved it all off, but he missed her, of course he did. He’d see her at school the next day, she made sure to promise that before kissing him goodbye and running off, but he just wanted to spend all his time with her, okay?

So here he was, lamenting and wallowing and missing her and wishing, as always, that things could be different. Little did he know, Natasha was also in the midst of her own distress just a few miles away. 

It was 10pm and she was about to go crazy, sitting on her bed just staring at the two envelopes in front of her. Her scholarship letters had recently arrived and she couldn’t seem to bring herself to open them. Finally she gave up, grabbed her phone, sent a quick text before she could talk herself out of it, and waited, biting her lip nervously. 

Steve had just settled on a TV show he expected would be mind-numbing enough when his phone buzzed on his nightstand. Natasha, he realized with a smile. 

 

_Can you come over?_

 

_Now?_ he sent back.

 

_Parents are away today and tomorrow._

Steve sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and debated the pros and cons of going over this late, on a school night, but his mind was made up quickly after the next text.

 

_Please. I need you._

His heart squeezed in his chest and he grabbed his things before rushing out the door, sending a quick _be there in 15_ as he walked to his bike. 

 

_Door is unlocked. See you soon :)_ she replied before running downstairs to make sure that was the case.

 

As soon as Steve arrived, he opened the door in a hurry to find Natasha standing staring at the two envelopes on the table with her hands on her hips, looking half-dubious, half-angry at the pieces of paper. He had to stifle a laugh because he really didn’t think that would make her feel better, so instead Steve wrapped his arms around her from behind and pressed a kiss to her temple, knowing the warmth and pressure of his body would help. 

He was right, as she sunk into his embrace, a little of the stress melting away as she sighed. “Hi,” she finally said, leaning up for a quick kiss that turned into a longer one than either of them meant for it to. 

“Hi,” he responded when he finally pulled away. And then just as quickly, he reached around and opened both envelopes for her. Natasha gasped and watched his facial expressions as he read. Her eyes may have wandered elsewhere, just a little bit, as she took in his lounge-y clothes and messy hair. She was feeling a little guilty that she’d disturbed him so late, but then she caught his eyes widening and all was forgotten. 

“What? What?!” she pressed, watching him still. 

Steve looked up at her and smiled that smile he got when he was thinking about how amazing she was, like she hung the moon and the stars herself, like she was the most incredible person he’d ever met. And then he blew out a breath and informed her, pride and awe filling his voice, “Nat, you got near full rides.”

At her disbelieving and shocked look, he clarified, “to both.” Natasha continued to stare dumbly for a moment before her eyes lit up and her face turned bright as could be. “Oh my god!” 

Now Steve couldn’t help the large smile that broke out on his face - it simply wasn’t possible. He stood to draw her in for a hug but she was nearly jumping in excitement, exclaiming “oh my god, Steve!!” So he wrapped his arms around her and hoisted her off the ground, twirling her around, sharing in her happiness with a large smile on his own face. 

Natasha was laughing and smiling and absolutely joyous as Steve spun her around. “Haha!” - it sounded like a sense of achievement bubbling out as a laugh — “I did it!”

He set her down, holding her steady, and tucked her hair behind both ears because it had gone free and a little wild - just like her. He grinned widely, “yes you did.” And then he planted one on her, full of emotion and passion, because he couldn’t stop himself. Natasha smiled as she kissed him back, a little force coming through just because of her excitement. 

She pulled away after a moment, the both of them still soaking in this feeling and new reality, and then the silence was broken. “Oh god, now this is gonna make it even harder to decide,” she muttered and dropped her face against Steve’s shoulder, so she could feel the rumble from his chest when he chuckled lowly. He brought a hand to her lower back, moving his thumb in soothing circles absentmindedly. “You’ll know when you go, I think,” he offered, kissing the top of her head. 

“What do you mean when I go?” she pulled back to peer up at Steve, an eyebrow arched in question. 

Steve swallowed thickly, pink dusting his cheeks — he was caught. “Well, uhhm, I thought — if you want, of course,” he added in quickly, “maybe I could take you on a college visit road trip.” He shrugged and sent her a small smile, trying to let her know she absolutely didn’t have to, that it was just an idea. 

But Natasha’s lips turned up in a soft smile and then it was her turn to look sheepish. “I would love that, Steve. But you don’t have to, you know. I mean, don’t feel like you have to do all this for me…”

“Nat,” she looked up to find Steve smiling, excitement seeping through, “I want to. I really really want to. If you want to, then definitely I’m in.”

She grinned, “well alright then. I guess it’s settled.”

Steve pulled her back into his embrace and she could feel him smiling against her forehead as he brushed his lips there. 

“Thank you,” she spoke softly into his shirt, and was rewarded with the pads of his thumbs running across her bare arms as he held her a little tighter in response. 

That prompted a thought to come to her mind and she was voicing it before thinking. “Hey,” she pulled her head away and craned her neck up to look into his eyes, fingers brushing random patterns where they now rested against his chest. 

Steve hummed his reply and Natasha continued, “you want to stay?”

He sighed and stilled his movements, “I don’t know, Tasha…”

She put on her best mischievous grin and walked her fingers up his chest, stopping to lock together behind his neck and play with the little hairs there. “Come on Steve,” she attempted to persuade him, “think about it - a whole night, a whole house to ourselves, alone…you, me, my bed,” now she was batting her eyelashes and it was too much for Steve.

He chuckled and slipped his thumb from her waist to just under the hem of her shirt. “Fine,” he pretended to like it was a big sacrifice, “if you insist.”

Natasha laughed and stepped away, letting her hand slide down to grasp his, her other reaching around to lock the door. Then she tugged, turning to walk to her room, “come on you big dork,” her voice teasing but affectionate.

All they really did that night was sleep, with a little bit of a heavy make out session because hey, they were in a house alone with what felt like all the time in the world and there was no way they weren’t going to take advantage of that. But in the end, Natasha yawned and Steve chuckled, pulling away with one last peck to her lips. He patted his chest, signaling for her to rest where he knew she wanted to. She went happily, snuggling up to him and using him as her personal pillow, laying nearly on top of him, with one leg thrown between his, and Steve just wrapped his arms around her loosely and fell asleep with a smile on his face that matched Natasha’s. 

That was the best sleep they’d both gotten in a while, and Steve couldn’t help thinking that this was definitely how he wanted to wake up every single day for the rest of his life, if he could. He carried her down to the kitchen that morning, despite her weak protests, and made her coffee and blueberry pancakes - just the way she liked. And Natasha ended up thinking much the same, watching Steve’s back muscles move as he moved through her kitchen and admiring the way his sweatpants hung low on his hips and how his heart was so clearly on his sleeve for her. Yeah, she could get used to this.

They got ready for the day together and Steve drove her to school, leaving early enough to stop at his place so he could change and still arrive at school before anyone would see them. It was still dangerous, and they both knew it, but neither wanted to break the spell that had fallen over them in the last 12 hours. Luckily no one was around, since Steve parked in the motorcycle section, and that was the good start to their equally as good day. 

They spent the rest of the morning together before class, since they’d arrived fairly early, and Natasha promised to come by after school since she had a mandatory study session during lunch. They’d parted and then saw each other again in his class during second period, but that was over far too soon and then she was gone again. 

Luckily, she had study hall that day, and managed to convince the moderator that her time would be better spent studying for AP exams with Mr. Rogers. Poor guy was none the wiser and let her go with very little argument or questioning. Steve was surprised to see her in his classroom but nonetheless happy. They did make some progress, but they were tackling (something fairly easy or just easy for her) so she didn’t need all that much help. 

Eventually, their conversation turned to the weekend which is when Steve brought up one of his best ideas ever. “So got any big plans for the long weekend?”

Natasha shrugged. “I was just planning on studying, relaxing, probably hanging out at your place a lot if that’s okay.”

“‘Course,” Steve responded easily before an excited boyish little grin appeared, “but what if I gave you something better to do?”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, silently telling him to continue.

“Okay. So.. what if this weekend, since it’s long and everything, is the weekend we do our road trip?”

Natasha’s eyes lit up a bit and widened, so Steve continued. “I mean, I know we just barely talked about it but I feel like this is the perfect time, since we’ll have that extra day, and if you really did want to go, this would be before it gets really really stressful for you so I just.. thought it was our best option and.. what?”

He’d noticed the change in Natasha’s features from one of a little hesitance to amusement and ease. She held in a chuckle and told him all he needed to know with a smile and “yes.” 

Steve had been concerned about the situation with her parents, but she waved him off. “Meh, I’ll talk to them when they get home, not like they care anyway,” she shrugged casually. At the look on Steve’s face - his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets — she clarified, “I’m not going to tell them anything more than they need to know,” laughing a little, “don’t worry.”

So that was how the plan was made. It was their first real time alone together and they both could barely contain their excitement. Steve made the plans that evening, a little smile present the whole time, and Natasha packed up her things, throwing in something from her stripping wardrobe just in case. This was going to be so good for them — they could both feel it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ty for reading!! i know this probably felt like filler but it did have a few things in it that I've wanted to write from the very beginning. plus I had to set up the next chapter ;) (can you guess what it is?)
> 
> and as always, please let me know what you thought!


	25. Road-tripping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> road trip time!! and other things..
> 
> this is rated E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait and long length of this, but hang in there - I think you guys are really gonna like this one :)

It was Memorial Day weekend and the sun was out shining brightly, setting the tone for a wonderful weekend for Steve and Natasha.

She’d told her parents the night before that she was planning on going to look at colleges that weekend, and her father had only lifted his head up from his book to ask if she was expecting them to go with her, to which she responded with a casual but confident "no." Her mother had nodded once, not saying a word, while her father responded, “very well.”

Natasha took that for the acceptance that it was, and was not surprised nor hurt when she walked out the front door with nothing more than a wave and “I’m heading out”, and received only a grunt in response.

Instead, she practically skipped into Steve’s waiting arms. He took her bag, and Natasha greeted him with a smile and a kiss, not caring who could see. He pecked her lips once more, smiling, her energy infectious, without a single glance back to the house.

That had been the start of Natasha’s great sense of success, and now, they finally had a weekend where they could get away — her parents clearly didn’t care and Clint was going away with Laura and neither she nor Steve had any pressing obligations— and it just so happened to be a 3-day weekend. _Could they get any luckier?_ Natasha reflected as Steve pulled onto the highway after leaving her house.

But Natasha preferred to think of it not as luck, rather as the universe paying them back — karma. After all the sacrifices they’d made, all the time they’d not spent together when they could’ve, she thought this might have been someone’s way of apologizing to the both of them.

They were currently heading to Georgetown. Steve decided they should go there first, then to New York, so they could spend more time in the city that was newer to Natasha. The university wasn’t all that far, and it was early enough in the morning that they got there with enough time to grab breakfast at a nearby restaurant. It was incredible. Nobody gave Steve and Natasha a single glance. They could even be all couple-y, and still nothing.

Eventually breakfast came and went, and it was time for the tour. There, they were greeted with a slightly suspicious-looking admissions director, but Steve just held Natasha’s hand tighter and played up the boyfriend role more. It helped, and she relaxed, and then the tour started.

It went by without much event, and she was impressed and feeling even more confident in herself after hearing how difficult it was to get into the school, how smart she must’ve been and how proud she should be of how hard she must’ve worked. However, after a morning and afternoon full of much more than she’d expected, Natasha was feeling a bit overwhelmed. She didn’t feel like she needed to make a decision right that second, but suddenly everything was much more real, and she for some reason hadn’t anticipated that when thinking about this weekend. Probably focused too much on it being a weekend with Steve and not enough on it being a weekend with Steve, _looking at colleges_.

No matter. Now, they were headed to New York, driving down the road in Steve’s red ’57 Chevy Bel Air with the top down. Natasha was in a state of ecstasy, she thought, with her hand enclosed in Steve’s near the gearshift and the wind blowing through her hair. She was relaxed in her seat, taking in the sights and letting her mind wander — though just drifting as far to the man next to her. She turned her head to take him in. Steve was softly humming to whatever song was playing on the radio, his soft dirty blonde locks occasionally moving with the breeze, expression and body language one of absolute content — Natasha had never seen him look so… free.

Sensing her eyes on him, Steve spared a glance in her direction and upon finding her so intently studying him, flashed a quick slightly puzzled grin. “What?”

Natasha’s gaze softened, brought out of her head for the moment, and she responded with a small but steady smile. “Nothing… just, really glad to be with you.. I’m really happy we’re doing this.”

Steve turned to face her again, mouth humbly turned up at the corners. “Me too,” he concurred sincerely. Then Steve lifted their joined hands up and brushed his lips over Natasha’s knuckles, eyes closing for a second and re-opening to hold her gaze steady, before bringing them back down to the center console and returning his attention to the road in front of him.

Natasha was deeply affected by that simple, rather innocent act. Her cheeks took on a lovely shade of pink as she fought a losing battle against some unquestionably not innocent thoughts that were now rushing through her mind and causing _feelings_ in her body.

“Steve.”

“Yeah?”

“Pull over.”

Steve peered over at Natasha, then back to the road, then back to Natasha and so on as he tried to figure out what was the matter. “Are you okay?”

“Just.. pull over. When it’s safe.”

“Okay…” Steve still seemed concerned and pulled off into a little turnout he saw ahead.

He no sooner put the car in park and turned to fully face her that Natasha had unbuckled, leaned over, placed her hands on either side of his face and pulled him in for a searing kiss. Steve instinctively and immediately responded, parting his lips to allow her tongue inside. She explored his mouth and he couldn’t hold back a groan when she climbed fully into his lap, now straddling him, and nipped his bottom lip in the process. He could feel Nat smile into the kiss before she purposefully drug his bottom lip between her teeth, then let it go and soothed it with her tongue.

Steve’s hands fell to Natasha’s hips as hers clasped together behind his neck; they pulled each other impossibly closer. Steve’s hand brushed back and forth under the hem of Natasha’s shirt, eliciting a small gasp and prompting her to run a hand through the hair at the nape of Steve’s neck and hold tight. Steve’s head lolled forward in pleasure and he dragged his mouth away from her lips to travel across her jaw and down her neck. Natasha seemed to suck in air and sigh at the same time — the resulting sound only further spurring Steve on to press his lips on her pulse point — hard.

It was too much for Natasha — her body responded of its own accord and she rolled her hips. Steve moaned loudly and then Natasha pulled away, eyes wide, causing Steve to come to sudden awareness, eyes taking in her demeanor and then seemingly coming to a decision.

He brushed his lips over the spot one more time before making the journey back up to her lips. He pressed one chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth, squeezed her hip, and pulled away, only to have Natasha chase after him. She molded their lips together again and only retreated when they were both struggling for air. They leaned their foreheads together, breathless, but not moving away. Natasha loosened her grip in his hair and settled instead for running her fingers through it slowly. Steve’s hand remained on her hip.

Natasha could feel Steve’s eyelashes brush her as he opened his eyes. She could feel his breath on her lips as he quietly asked, “what was that for?”

She moved her hand from his hair to stroke his cheek and was pleased when he nuzzled into it. “That - was for being you,” she answered sweetly as her thumb brushed his cheekbone. “You bring out these feelings in me that I’ve never experienced, that I didn’t even really believe existed but.. I notice them, when I’m with you and it’s a lot, it’s new, but it’s really really wonderful and … I ..… thank you.”

Steve was sure he’d never felt so much raw emotion radiating from a person, even a lover, before. His eyes were watery and his voice came out in a hoarse whisper as he moved closer and told her, “you deserve it all.” He planted a chaste, feather-light kiss on her lips and though it was much softer than its precursor, Natasha felt more cherished in that flash of an occurrence than at any other point in her life.

She moved back into her seat and settled in, waiting for Steve to do the same. He did, and then they were on the road again. It was peaceful for a while, quiet. And then a new song came on and Steve turned to Natasha with the biggest, dorkiest grin, eyes alight with excitement. Before she could speak, or figure out why he was suddenly like this, he turned back to the road and turned the volume way up, and started to sing.

Natasha busted out laughing, but ended up joining him after she could breathe again. And that’s how they ended up shout-singing 80s music for the next 20 minutes, only stopping when their voices went hoarse.

When they reached New York about three hours later, Natasha was asleep, head leaning against the window. Steve took a moment to just look at her — her face was so relaxed, she looked so young, and the way the setting sun was casting a golden glow over her made her look like a goddess.

To Steve, she was. He smoothed her beautiful auburn hair away from her face, then paused, reflecting on how blessed he truly was. Natasha began to stir, eyelashes fluttering open slowly, and Steve watched with a beautiful little smile, waiting for her to become aware of him. Eventually, her eyes opened and found him right away.

“Hey there, sleeping beauty,” Steve quirked with a wink.

Natasha groaned but smiled nonetheless.

“We’re here,” Steve informed her.

At that, Natasha finally took the opportunity to look at her surroundings. Peering out the window, she saw a small brownstone that looked like it had been turned into an apartment complex — really beautiful, actually, and turned back to give Steve a questioning glance.

He shrugged, “figured we may as well stay somewhere homey.”

Natasha just kind of stared after him as he got out and started getting their bags from the car. That got her into motion and she hopped out to join him. But her curiosity was not satisfied.

“So this is….” she prompted.

Steve glanced down at her as he shut the trunk. “Mine,” he answered matter-of-factly.

“Wow,” Natasha responded, voice barely a whisper as she continued to stare up at it.

Steve clarified as they entered the lobby and walked up the stairs, “I mean, I don’t own the whole thing. But yeah I kept the apartment after I moved, just in case I ever come back … there’s no way I’d ever find a better place than this.”

Natasha nodded as he unlocked the door to his place.

“So this is it,” Steve held the door open for her, extending an arm out in a welcoming gesture. He followed her in and let the bags drop to the floor as the door swung shut. “I’ve been renting it out, so I’m not entirely sure about the state of everything, but I did ask Bucky to swing by, so it should be alright…”

His rambling was cut off when he saw Natasha step closer, crowding his personal space. He watched her, remaining silent, as she lifted her arms. Then she was wrapping her arms around him, pressing her face into his chest and hugging him tightly.

It was one of the most innocent and expressive gestures he’d ever been on the receiving end of, and he felt his heart thud with emotion for the incredible girl in front of him. He easily returned the hug and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before removing her arms from around his torso, instead sliding a hand down one to grasp her hand. “Come on, time for the grand tour.”

It was a small apartment, but Natasha thought it was perfect. She’d never felt more at home, and she could absolutely see why Steve didn’t want to let it go. It was definitely his type of space — with the brick in the walls exposed and a large space perfect for an art studio or lounging area. The bookcases were filled with titles he loved, and the pictures all around the apartment made it feel like his presence exuded from the entire apartment.

They made it back to the entryway and Steve dropped her hand in order to pick up a few of the bags. “Why don’t I go put these bags away and you can freshen up, if you want.” He pecked her lips after she replied “‘kay” and headed for the bedroom.

After Natasha emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered and feeling quite refreshed, Steve took his turn, and then seven minutes later was back in the bedroom.

“So I was thinking,” Natasha jumped at the sound of his voice and turned from her place on the bed to find him standing in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. Her eyes widened unconsciously. “That for dinner I could take you to the best pizza joint in town,” Steve continued, not noticing Natasha’s jumpy reaction as he entered the closet.

“Sounds perfect,” Natasha answered sincerely.

Steve walked out of the closet now clothed in dark jeans and an off-white henley to find Natasha sitting cross-legged on the bed. He walked right up to her and as he leaned down to kiss her, Natasha was surrounded by the intoxicating scent of Steve. No cologne, just his body wash and natural fragrance, and she found herself chasing his lips as he pulled away.

He finally was at a distance where he could take in her appearance, and god was she stunning. Wearing no makeup, hair damp and curling up as it dried, dressed in a simple t shirt with high waisted jeans and chucks, she was the most perfect thing he’d ever seen. And when he asked if she was ready to go and she replied with a disbelieving “now? when I’m dressed like this?”, he didn’t hesitate one bit in his response. “Nat, you look amazing.”

The intensity in his voice caused a bit of pink to dust Natasha’s cheeks, but she stood up confidently and walked out the bedroom door anyway, calling out behind her for Steve to hurry up.

The pizza place was indeed the best place in town, or, at least, the best Natasha had ever had. They ended up ordering a second one just because they couldn’t stop eating. That was another thing Steve loved about Natasha — she wouldn’t try to be dainty or overly delicate when she ate.. it was just food and eating was a normal thing, and she treated it like that.

They returned to his apartment stuffed out of their minds, after finishing the second medium pizza (that one was mostly Steve… his appetite was like the eighth wonder of the world) and splitting a cannoli because how could they not?

So as soon as Steve locked the door behind them, Natasha flopped on the couch with a very unladylike groan, Steve not far behind her. They lay still for a few minutes, dazed and listening to the sound of each other’s breathing. Then Steve stood, pulling Natasha up with him, and headed to the bedroom.

They each changed and got ready for bed — it was quite the domestic scene — and when Natasha came out of the bathroom just a few minutes after Steve, he already had The Hunchback of Notre Dame queued up and ready to go. She smiled at his proud and excited expression and crawled right into his arms.

The rest of the night went by just like that — cuddled together, watching movies. The NYU tour was scheduled for the next morning and Steve wanted to relax Natasha as much as possible. She hadn’t said anything, but he’d seen earlier that day how overwhelmed she became, only evident in the tightening of her hand where it was held together with his. So he made it his mission to have her as unwound as possible heading into tomorrow. He really wanted her to like the school, and if she was stressed, that would taint her memory of the experience.

However, he couldn’t do much more to make that happen, because as soon as the opening sequence to Hercules began, he began to doze off. He really couldn’t be blamed — he was exhausted from the drive and the feel of Natasha’s skin where his head was nestled just above her hip was so soft, her scent lulling him to sleep.

As she felt Steve’s breathes even out against her skin, Natasha marveled at how amazing it was that they were able to do this with zero worries about going home, or what they would do the next morning. It was wonderful. She fell asleep not long after Steve, his steady heartbeat against her palm pulling her right into that deep slumber with him.

They awoke the next morning wrapped around each other, Steve's body covering Natasha's almost completely. He was clutching her tightly, his head buried in the curve of her neck, and he slowly awoke to the feeling of something fuzzy against his nose. He inhaled deeply and realized it was Natasha's hair, the scent of her shampoo filling his senses.

He really didn't want to move, it was one of his favorite moments of all time, but the sunlight coming through the curtains told him it was time to get up. He smiled to himself as a thought popped into his head. And then he got to work waking Natasha up as pleasantly as possible. As he peppered her face, neck, and top of her chest with kisses, he could feel her begin to wake up. And on the next brush of his lips on the corner of her mouth, Steve felt Natasha's eyelids flutter against his skin, and pulled back to watch her wake up, grin never leaving his face. She had the cutest way of waking up.

She cracked a solitary eye open to send him a glare, which he was expecting, and then the other one opened, and she blinked a few times until she was staring into his eyes, little grin forming on her face as she came to full awareness. Once he saw she was present, he leaned back down and kissed her softly and slowly, drawing back to breathe "morning, beautiful" onto her lips. Steve flicked his eyes up to hers and found Natasha looking happy and alive. She held his gaze for a brief moment before looking up to the ceiling, yawning and stretching not unlike a cat. Steve rolled off her, laughing and nuzzling her neck once more before rolling off the bed, taking her with him, to get ready for the day.

The tour went well, Steve thought. Natasha seemed more relaxed, and more excited, possibly due to the perfect weather, possibly due to him remaining close at all times, but he hoped it was because she liked the school. Walking through the campus, watching Natasha look around, a bit of awe and wonder filling her features, he thought she looked very much like she belonged there.

After it was over, as they were walking back to the car, Natasha confirmed Steve's thought. Remaining excitement seeping through her voice, she let go of his hand to walk to the passenger side of the car and told him, "I really like it here" with a smile that she really had no control over.

Steve paused, peering over the car at her, and grinned. "I'm glad." He didn't want to say anything else, afraid of influencing her decision too much, so he left it at that.

Since this was where Steve was from, he'd decided they would spend the rest of the day on a mini tour of his hometown and the larger city. But first, lunch, with a surprise that, now that he was thinking about it, probably shouldn't be a surprise.

"Hey Nat?" he glanced over at her, finding her staring out the window in thought.

"Hmm?"

Steve turned his eyes back to the road. "Uh, I probably should've asked you this before.. but, my mom is going to meet us for lunch, if that's okay" he said a bit cautiously. They'd gotten along fine the last time they were all together, but maybe Natasha felt uncomfortable still and wasn't letting it show and he was definitely worried now. He kept darting his eyes back and forth between the road and her, and then finally she turned to face him.

"Okay!" was her cheery response.

He let out a breath and sent her a grateful smile, "okay."

His mom still lived in the house Steve grew up in, which meant they were headed to his neighborhood for lunch. It was strange being back after having been away for such an extended period, but as soon as they pulled up to the small home, any and all apprehension disappeared. It was so good to be home, and to have his girl with him, he thought as he squeezed said girl's hand, just to let her know he appreciated her.

Sarah was so pleased to see Natasha again, and Steve was only embarrassed for maybe half the conversation with stories from when he was a kid, running amuck in the surrounding area. The other half was talking about how school was going, how Natasha liked the colleges they visited, what she wanted to do for a major, and of course, making sure Steve was treating her right, to which Natasha had squeezed his thigh affectionately and kissed his cheek before confirming with a smile directed at Sarah, "he is."

Lunch passed quickly but very enjoyably after that, and soon Sarah was hugging Steve and then Natasha outside before they continued on their way. Steve drove Natasha around the neighborhood, pointing out the 60's-themed diner he frequented as a high-schooler, the street corners where he got beat up, and sharing the stories that went along with each place. Natasha learned that Steve was quite the stubborn kid, despite his small stature, and never backed down from a fight. For some reason, she wasn't that surprised.

He took her to his school, where they actually got out and walked around. He showed her the place where he had his first kiss - he was blushing the entire time, but he told her the entire story. As the day went on like that, Steve sharing little bits from his past with her, Natasha felt amazed the whole time because this was really the first time he was opening like that, to her, without any prompting. It was such a small thing, but it felt momentous to Natasha, and she couldn't wipe the smile off her face.

They went to a not-yet-completely-gentrified part of the borough for dinner, after stopping to change at his apartment, and Natasha found herself with an excitably rambling Steve, standing outside a mom-and-pop brick building. There was no indication of what it was on the exterior, but as soon as they stepped through the door and velvet curtains past the lobby, she knew. Steve had somehow managed to find the _perfect_ spot - a small restaurant joined by a dance hall. And not any dance hall - judging by the music, it was a jazz dance hall. Suddenly the night got a whole lot more exciting.

Natasha gasped when she got a full view of the place, and looked up at Steve with wide eyes, "how did you _find_ this place??" she asked, disbelieving.

Steve was grinning like mad and it only grew at her reaction. "You like it?"

"Yes! I love it!" Natasha abruptly pushed herself into Steve's side, hugging him from the side in hardly contained excitement.

She could feel Steve's chuckle before he wrapped his arm around her. She leaned her chin on his abdomen and tilted her head up to gaze at him, and he quickly took advantage of it and kissed her forehead. Their little moment was only partly interrupted by the waiter coming to seat them -- they followed him, but didn't move apart.

Once they were seated, Natasha took a moment to glance around and noticed how packed the place was. She got worried for a split second, but then remembered they were far away from DC, and then she realized it, maybe the best part of the night. They were out on a date, a real date, where anyone could see them, and they didn't care, because they _could_. And that was just ... incredible.

Steve's expression mirrored Natasha's as he was venturing down the same line of thinking, and to an outsider, they looked like two people so incredibly happy that their lips were permanently turned up and eyes were shining with the feeling of it all.

They ate, they drank, they danced - a lot - and laughed until the place closed down. Natasha was breathless as they walked out the door, still giggling from the adrenaline and twirling herself around Steve, who was also laughing, until he caught her in his arms and swung her around, pulling her close as he set her down. She was laughing, trying to catch her breath, all the way until Steve captured her lips with his. The passion in it made her even more breathless, and when he pulled away, she had to bury her face in his chest, fisting her hands in his sweater in order to ground herself.

Steve was breathing hard, too, and when she finally glanced up at him, she noticed he was staring intently at her, eyes darker than they'd been before, lips swollen and pink, and a light blush rising from his neck. Natasha swallowed thickly, and then Steve cleared his throat to state in a still-low voice, "let's go home."

She smiled brilliantly at him and nodded, taking his hand and leaning into him as they walked to the car. She knew - or, she had a fairly good idea of what was about to happen when they got home - and she probably should've been nervous, but, rather, she felt an all-encompassing sense of calm and being nothing other than absolutely alright.

When they got back, Steve popped into the bathroom and Natasha headed for the bedroom. When he came back out a couple minutes later, she was lying on her back, gazing up at the ceiling, hands folder atop her stomach. Steve stopped in his tracks, he was frozen in place, unable to look away.

The black velvet skater dress she'd worn had ridden up a bit, one shoulder slightly bared, the top of her black sheer stockings just visible under the hem, and with her red hair splayed out across the pillow, well, she looked like ...

"What?" Steve was so lost in his stupor he didn't notice she'd turned her head, clearly having noticed him staring. His eyes tracked down her face and upon seeing her gentle and curious smile, his own mouth turned up a little at one corner. Natasha patted the bed and Steve obliged her unspoken direction, her eyes tracking his every move as he climbed onto the bed until he was hovering over her. It was silent for a moment until Steve finally answered her question. "You look like an angel," he whispered.

The slight smile dropped from Natasha's face at the same time as her eyes widened and she swallowed thickly.

Steve was nervous he'd said something wrong, but then he was being pulled down by the neck and Natasha was kissing him -- deep, bruising, passionate. He responded right away, exhaling into her mouth as she swiped her tongue across his bottom lip, asking for entrance. When he needed to breathe, he pulled away, but only to then attach his lips to her neck, brushing ever so lightly and then sucking, all the way down to the base of her throat. He paused there, working the spot and very much enjoying the hum he could feel against his lips as she reacted to his efforts.

Eventually Natasha couldn't handle anymore, and tugged on Steve's hair to get his attention. What she saw when he was back at eye level... she was not expecting. His hair was a mess, lips shiny and puffy and red, eyes dark, face flushed a wonderful shade of pink, and he was breathing hard. She had to take a moment to remember what she was going to say.

"Steve," she breathed out while taking his hand and guiding it to her stomach, bunching up her dress as she went. His thumb automatically began brushing back and forth, causing Natasha to hold back a shiver. Other than that, though, he was still, so Natasha decided she had to be the one to take control.

She let go of his hand to grasp the bottom of her dress, and then in one coordinated move, it was over her head and tossed to the floor.

Steve inhaled sharply. Clearly he knew where she was going with this, now. His eyes traveled down the expanse of creamy skin now in front of him, taking in the sight of her black lacy lingerie set, and then back up, meeting her eyes with a fire blazing in his. But his voice came out soft, low, when he asked, "are you sure?"

Natasha's heart fluttered at his concern and she couldn't help the affectionate smile that grew as she looked up at him. His eyes were full of desire, yes, but also consideration and tenderness. And that, more than anything, was what had made Natasha so certain about this. "Yes."

Steve observed her for one more moment, and apparently decided she was being honest, because then he nodded, more to himself than her, telling himself it was okay. And then his mouth was on her, _all over_. Natasha was sure he must've kissed every inch of skin available to him, and then he unclasped her bra and suddenly there was even more to experience. They'd done this before - sort of - but she'd never been completely bared to him, never had the freedom and opportunity to do so. But now.. oh, this weekend was going to be one for the history books.

His teeth scraped her breast and she gasped, lifting her head up to watch him work, and what a beautiful sight it was. As he moved to the other, she took note of the light purple marks that littered her torso. She knew she should've been alarmed, or scold him, but she just couldn't quite find it in herself to care. Instead, she flopped her head back down on the pillows and let out a content, though shaky sigh, a genuinely happy smile on her face.

He kissed his way back down her belly, pressing his lips on the top of her black lace panties and then he paused, looking up at her in a silent question. _He was so perfect, what did she do to deserve this?_  her mind had wandered in its haze of bliss. Natasha pulled him back up for a rather gentle kiss, considering what they were in the middle of doing, but it conveyed what she was feeling. His eyelashes blinked slowly against her skin when she pulled back just a little. "Go slow," was the only thing she had to say to him. And he did, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips before sliding back down her body, taking the damp fabric with him.

She'd had his mouth on her before, yes, but that paled in comparison to what she was feeling now. He seemed to know exactly what she needed and when, and with his tongue doing the wonders it was doing, she was lost in no time, breathes coming faster and shallower. Steve flicked his tongue once over her swollen nub and then she was gone, falling over the edge, his name escaping with every harsh exhale.

He gave her a second to breathe, coming up to kiss her, which she returned lazily. He was nuzzling her neck, brushing his lips lightly over the marks he'd left earlier, when she came back to full awareness and promptly realized, "you are far too overdressed."

A laugh escaped Steve before he could stop it and he kissed her cheek to quiet himself. "Well then we should probably remedy that, hm?" He stood up again, remaining close by the bedside.

"It would be my honor," Natasha winked before kneeling in front of him and yanking his shirt over his head and then running her fingers down his bare chest to reach his pants. Steve could feel goosebumps rising where she touched him, and Natasha must have as well, because then her lips were on his skin, blowing hot air while moving further and further down, licking in just the right spot that had him failing to suppress a shudder before his pants were even off.

That didn't last for long, though, as Natasha's nimble fingers worked quickly at his button, lowering the zipper next, and then his pants were on the floor, gathered around his ankles. He kicked himself out of them and knelt back on the bed, gently pushing Natasha to lie back down.

He kissed her then, strong and full of everything he couldn't voice yet, and when she moaned into his mouth, he moved down, checking to see if she was ready. Her hips bucked against his hand and he had to hold back a chuckle, instead settling for a fond smile.  
"Stop me if it hurts, okay?" he was hovering above her again, not about to make another move until she consented.

"You're not going to hurt me, Steve, I know you won't," Natasha said in that soft confident voice that came from her immense trust in him. It warmed him to his very bones, and he had to kiss her again for that.

His lips left hers only for a moment, to grab a condom from the nightstand and roll it on. And then he was back, kissing her as he guided himself into her, pressing the tip against her just to let her adjust for a minute. Then she rolled her hips a little and he was enveloped in the tight, wet, warm sweetness of Natasha. She gasped into the kiss and Steve made sure not to move forward until she was ready. After only a few moments, he felt her relax around him, and when she murmured into his lips, "more," he obliged, pushing in further, bit by bit, until he was completely inside her.

And it was incredible. They both had to take a moment to soak the feeling in, to savor this new sensation. Natasha was the first to move, pushing herself impossibly closer to Steve, causing a strangled sound to leave him. "Nat, Nat wait.." he breathed out, eyes squeezing shut, trying to control himself.

"What? Steve, are you okay?" she asked, voice filled with worry.

"Yeah I'm -- _god_ , I'm more than okay." He opened his eyes to find her blushing. "I just, I want to take it slow," he told her, cupping her cheek tenderly.

"Oh," she smiled softly, "okay."

Steve grinned and then went back to kissing her as he started to thrust slowly in and out.  
He could already feel himself pulsing and Natasha's walls tightening around him, and he knew they wouldn't last for long. So he made every stroke worth it - long, slow, and deep. Natasha was soon clinging to Steve, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and keeping him close to her. Steve had taken to kissing her neck and collarbone, wanting to be as connected as possible, clutching Natasha to his body so they were attached in practically every way possible.

He could feel when her breathing became shallower, when her heart started thudding in her chest, and knew she was close. He was torn between wanting to kiss her through it, or watch her face as she came undone, but the decision was made for him as she tossed her head back and arched her back, not quite shouting his name but letting it out in more of a loud moan as she tumbled over the edge .

Watching her face contort in pleasure, hearing his name on her lips, feeling her clench around him, Steve was right behind her, dropping his head to her shoulder. Natasha let out another noise, smaller this time, as she felt something akin to an explosion inside of her, Steve's release setting her off again.

Steve collapsed on top of her, breathing hard, and they remained like that for some time, in what could only be described as a daze. Eventually, Steve pulled out of her and discarded the condom in the bathroom, coming back with a warm washcloth which he used to gently clean her up. He then disappeared to clean himself up, and when he came back, Natasha's eyes were closed and her lips were slightly open, a sign Steve recognized to mean that she was asleep.

He brushed her hair back from where it had become matted to her forehead with sweat, and kissed her forehead, drawing a quiet hum from her. He crawled into bed behind her, pulling her into his arms and drawing the sheets up over them. He kissed her cheek before snuggling up to her, pausing to really look at her before he deposited his face into his favorite spot in the curve of her neck.

"I love you," he whispered, the words coming out before he could stop them.

Natasha's eyelids fluttered and he worried for a second she'd heard him, but she only pushed herself closer to him and mumbled something unintelligible. He breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't that he didn't mean it - he knew it was the truth - but he didn't want to burden her with that quite yet. Still, it was incredibly freeing to say it, even if she didn't hear. It was good for him just to get the words out.

Steve returned to his favorite spot and inhaled, the unique scent of Natasha and his being recently sated swiftly drawing him into slumber.

 

* * *

 

 

Steve's car:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOOOOOO I can't stop smiling ahah
> 
> I wrote this over the course of a week and a half, where I had a lot of different moods, so hopefully you couldn't tell, but that's why for this one especially, and considering all the content, please please please let me know what you thought! god i feel like this got away from me.. I almost split it into two, but for timeline and fluency's sake, I kept it as one, and hopefully it worked out. 
> 
> hope you enjoyed! also, tried to put the pic of Steve's car in the end notes, but it wouldn't let me, so sorry if that messed up anything for anyone! I thought the visual was incredibly important when I first had this idea many moons ago lol


	26. Home-coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post-amazing-weekend action

In the morning, they woke at about the same time, Steve's breathes tickling Natasha, causing her to squirm lightly against him, resulting in him fully waking up.

"Morning," he murmured into her ear, voice gravelly and low.

Natasha turned around in his arms to face him and smiled at the sight she was greeted with. He looked, for lack of a better term, thoroughly fucked. She was both proud that she had a part in that, and happy that he looked so relaxed and content.

"Good morning," she returned, voice quiet as if not to disturb the peaceful environment. Her eyes were shining with something words couldn't describe, her face glowing and not just from the golden sunlight coming in through the window.

Steve brushed a piece of hair from her face and let his palm rest against her cheek. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, and then looked surprised, as if he didn't realize he'd spoken or didn't mean to.

Natasha gave him that appreciative but also somehow knowing smile and then responded easily and honestly, "and you're gorgeous," before leaning in to kiss him.

Steve blushed at her words but pulled her closer and kissed her back. It was lazy, slow, gentle, and absolutely perfect. When they came apart, they were wearing matching smiles, soft and more than a little caught up in memories. They stayed like that, just gazing at each other, until Natasha's stomach rumbled and interrupted the silence. Steve chuckled and kiss the tip of her nose, throwing the sheets off himself and rolling out of bed. "How bout some breakfast for my princess?"

Natasha's whole body warmed and her smile grew. "Sounds wonderful."

Twenty minutes later she was sitting on one of the barstools at the small island in the kitchen, sipping on fresh hot coffee, wearing one of Steve's dress shirts that she found in the closet, watching as he flipped the last pancake onto her plate. He came to join her and they both nearly devoured their first couple of pancakes, slowing down after that so they were able to have a conversation.

Steve had just finished eating and was watching as Natasha cut into her last pancake. They'd been talking about school, kind of subconsciously mentally preparing themselves to go back - it was Monday, after all, and that meant tomorrow they'd be back at school. As Steve flipped through his calendar to look at his schedule for the week, a thought popped into Steve's head.

"Hey, isn't prom this weekend? You excited?" he asked Natasha.

She stopped the back-and-forth motion of her knife for a moment, sighed, and then continued cutting. "I wasn't planning on going," she replied casually.

"What?!" Steve exclaimed. He didn't mean to have that reaction, but.. he was surprised.

Natasha just shrugged in response. "I mean.. it's supposed to be a night for people in relationships or with close friends and I -- I'd rather just spend the night with you," she explained, looking down at her plate as she moved a piece of pancake around with her fork. "It's not a big deal," she tried to convince him.

Steve left it at that, with an "okay, if that's what you want," but an idea had already begun forming in his mind.

They finished breakfast not long after that and Natasha insisted on doing the dishes, so Steve let her. He left to get cleaned up and came back out a few minutes later, finding Natasha humming to herself as she scrubbed a pan. He smiled to himself and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He kissed her cheek and playfully asked, "having fun?"

Natasha leaned into his embrace and tilted her head back and up for a kiss, which Steve willingly gave. He looked at the time and saw it was already getting close to the time he'd wanted to leave. "Why don't I finish this and you can go get ready," he suggested, covering her hand with his and taking the sponge from her grip.

She made a show of turning his arms and sighing, "fine," drawing out the word before winking and kissing him, drying her hands on his shirt with a mischievous smile and then sauntering off to the bedroom.

They left around 11, only a little later than Steve had wanted, and the drive back was just as nice as it was on the way there, except they knew they had to go back to their lives and roles and responsibilities, instead of getting away from them. Still, not much could knock them down from this new high they were both feeling as a result of the gigantic leap they'd just taken in their relationship.

And that wasn't just from having sex.. this whole weekend, Steve accompanying her on a journey involved in a major life decision.. Natasha felt like they were a lot closer, the bond a lot deeper, and Steve was thinking much the same.

He drove for the first half of their journey, until they stopped for a late lunch when Steve’s stomach started audibly growling. Natasha was still laughing as they pulled into the parking lot of a small sandwich shop.

When they opened the door to return to their car after they'd paid, it had apparently begun raining. They looked at each other, communicating without words, and then made a run for it, a mixture of laughter and screams accompanying them. Luckily Steve had put the top up, out of habit, before they went into the restaurant, so nothing was damaged.

Natasha had noticed at lunch how tired Steve still seemed to be and had offered to drive the rest of the way home, so she slid into the driver’s seat while Steve jumped into the passenger side and quickly shut the door behind him.

His eyes were wild with glee when Natasha glanced over at him, and with his hair wet and messed up, shirt practically soaked through, he looked so young, boyish… and ridiculously attractive. Instead of doing anything, though, Natasha simply smiled and rolled her eyes at nothing in particular, feeling content in knowing that he was hers.

She reached back to his bag to grab two t-shirts, tossing one at Steve and keeping the other for herself. She could feel Steve’s eyes on her as she changed tops and pinched him with her free hand while using the other to pull his t shirt over her head. He helped and she smiled victoriously when she was finished, finding him changing his own shirt, following her unspoken instruction. She tossed her wet shirt over the back seat, hoping it would dry in the hour and a half there was left to go, grabbing the blanket Steve always kept in the back.

She returned to her seat and faced Steve, unfolding the blanket and laying it over him. He watched her with increasingly soft eyes as she made sure he was tucked in tight. She caught sight of his expression when she glanced up at his face while she was tucking the blanket around his shoulders. He smiled when he saw her face, looking adorably pleased with herself, and she returned it easily, patting his face and pecking his lips before sitting back in her seat and facing front.

She glanced out of the corner of her eye to find Steve lying sideways and still gazing at her. She was about to say something, but he beat her to it. “Thanks,” he said quietly, with his lips quirked into an unreadable expression.

She didn't say anything back, just gave him a questioning glance, and then pulled back onto the road. They drove in relative silence, the pattering of rain and low music coming from the radio filling the air. Steve stayed in that position for a while, lying on his side, puffy blanket pulled over his shoulders, just watching Natasha. Finally, he closed his eyes and fell asleep, feeling at peace.

Natasha could feel his gaze on her, and so also when it stopped. She glanced over at him then, and found he had finally succumbed to sleep. She noticed, not for the first time, how he looked so open and untroubled, so young. She couldn't help but smooth a hand through his hair in a gesture of affection.

Her attention returned to the road after that, though she would glance at Steve's sleeping form every couple of minutes. He woke up when they were a half hour from home, the sunshine that finally appeared drawing him from his slumber.

"Have a nice nap?" Natasha asked when she saw him come to full awareness out of the corner of her eye.

"Mmm," Steve confirmed, body taking its time in waking up. He rolled flat on his back and rolled out his neck and shoulders, stretching just slightly. "I had the best dream," he answered, eyes blinking slowly, lazily.

"Oh? What about?"

Steve smiled, it seemed automatic, then focused his gaze on Natasha from the side of his vision. "That I spent a wonderful weekend alone with my girl, and that we'd see each other every single day after that."

Natasha couldn't help but smile, too. Sometimes Steve was just so adorable. "Well, that does sound nice," she replied with a soft wink when she caught his eye.

Steve only nodded, then, re-visiting all the amazing memories they'd made over the weekend. They were beautiful, incredible, powerful things, and he felt amazing just knowing it all had happened.

Natasha pulled up to her house sooner than either of them wanted, but she had to go. She had to get working on a lot of projects and homework assignments that she hadn't yet had the chance to do. So she put the car in park and leaned over to kiss Steve with everything she had, pouring every amount of gratitude and emotion she had into it. When it was over, she slid out of the front seat and grabbed her bags from the trunk, setting them on the floor to hug Steve one last time.

"Your parents.." he whispered into her ear as both a warning and a question. Indeed, their car was in the driveway, and they were probably watching this very exchange... though then again, maybe not, considering they hadn't cared one bit when she stated her plan to go away for the weekend, alone, as far as they knew. Either way, if they were watching, she was glad. She pressed her entire body into Steve's and squeezed him a little tighter before letting go. He watched her walk all the way to the door and inside before he left to return to his own home. 

* * *

The return to school the next day was about as difficult as they were both expecting. Natasha had been busy with school work since she got home, and had only spoken to Steve quietly on the phone before going to bed. (Where simple texts once sufficed, phone calls were now a necessity. The desire to hear one another's voice was too strong to be ignored.)

So for once, Natasha was actually looking forward to going to school, and when she arrived that morning, she had a good feeling. It was validated when Steve texted her before school started that morning, asking if she had time to stop by his office before her first class. He knew she got to school a half hour early, normally, to finish work or print things or just get things done she hadn't had time for the previous night. Of course, Natasha had also made a habit of it so she could start her mornings with Steve, if they both had the time, and that day just happened to be one of those.

She sent an affirmative reply and appeared there not even five minutes later. He smiled as she walked in and made herself at home, dropping her backpack by the door, locking said door, and coming to lean against the edge of his desk, knee brushing his thigh where he was sat in his desk chair.

He was tempted to take more advantage of this time they had, but he really didn't ask her there for that.

“What's up?” she asked with that breathtaking smile he fell for so easily.

Steve’s smile turned rather sheepish. “Umm do you think you could help me with… well.. I need to cover,” he motioned to the hickey she'd left on his neck and Natasha blushed just a little at the memory.

“Ah… of course!” Natasha replied cheerily. He really had thought she was going to tease him, but it seemed he was wrong.

“Wouldn't want an old man to cause a scandal now, would we?”

Or maybe not. Oh well, he did love her like this, didn't he? Steve chuckled to himself and lightly shook his head.

Natasha just grinned and grabbed her concealer from where she'd noticed it out on his desk.

“Come here,” she slid to the center of his desk, fully sitting now, and motioned for him to move closer. He did, sliding his chair so he was positioned between her legs.

Then Natasha set to work, fingers applying the concealer until the discolored spot was perfectly covered. At the feeling of her soft skin gently brushing against his, Steve became heated, and when she was done, signaling so with a pat on his cheek, he pulled her down onto his lap for a slow kiss.

Natasha squeaked into the kiss, surprised at the sudden movement, but quickly returned it. The sound of the 10 minute warning bell interrupted them and they pulled apart reluctantly, Natasha resting her head on Steve’s shoulder for a minute, not wanting to leave the comfort of his arms quite yet.

Eventually, she had to go, but they didn't have to wait long to see each other again. She had Steve's class her second period, and it was quite something...

Steve glanced at her far too often, and with far too much hidden in those little looks, to be considered normal for teacher-student. Natasha had trouble fighting off a smile not even just every time they made eye contact, but also at every little joke he tried to tell or slightly embarrassing thing he did or, basically, every second he breathed, if she was being honest with herself.

And when she caught him looking, she'd toss a wink in his direction and bite her lip to stifle a laugh as he automatically turned a light shade of pink, even as he smiled in return. Class passed quickly that way, with stolen glances and significant shared looks, and Natasha felt light as the bell rang and she left for her next class.

Ironically, as soon as Natasha and the rest of his students were out of the classroom and Steve sat down at his desk to check emails, his mind finally a bit freed, he was thinking of her again.

That plan he’d begun ideating on Monday? Well, it seems all the stars had aligned, and now it was actually going to be able to happen. The email he was reading was a request for a last-minute teacher chaperone for prom. He quickly replied that he would be happy to help, receiving a very appreciative response not a minute later. A smile appeared on his face that was secretive, clever, proud, and excited all at once. He sat back in his chair, hands folded, and basked in the newfound belief that his plan might actually work.

For lunch that day, Natasha ate with Steve, but they moved outside, though still to a more secluded area. The weather was nice, they were both feeling rather gutsy, and it wouldn't look to an outsider like anything more than lunch between teacher and student. Sure, Steve may have sat a little closer than necessary, and rested his hand on her leg under the table, but it made sense for them to be together now, so neither of the pair was all that worried.

A few weeks back, Steve had been in a faculty meeting where they were talking about graduation. He hadn't really been paying attention, opting to doodle on the edges of the meeting agenda handout, but looked up when he heard his name.

"Steve," they were being divided up into sub-groups for specific parts of graduation, "we think it would be best if you met with Ms. Romanoff, just to make sure she's ready, and help with whatever she may need.. seeing as you've become a kind of mentor to her this year."

Principal Fury had meant it innocently enough, but Steve still had to fight back the blush he felt coming on. He really didn't want to give away where his mind had gone in front of a table full of his colleagues, when they already thought he was too young to be teaching at the school.

He nodded, "sure. That makes sense."

And since then, he'd been helping Natasha edit her speech, though the process had been slow-going since they were higher priority things to get done first. However, it allowed them to spend more time together, since it gave them the perfect reason to be be seen together. So naturally, they took advantage of this little blessing and were more public and frequent with their 'meetings.'

Hence, how that day found Natasha with Steve again after lunch -- taking Study Hall in his classroom, even though there were a few other students there. He smiled in surprise when she walked in, and as soon as she was settled, went straight for her where she had taken a seat in the back of the room. They spoke quietly, and occasionally did talk about graduation-related things, but mostly just enjoyed being able to do this, sharing hushed laughter and sitting close together when there were still other people around. It left them both feeling exhilarated and giddy with adrenaline when the final bell rang, signaling the end of the school day.

Maybe that high was why Natasha made the split-second decision to go to Steve's after her dance practice finished. She texted to let him know she was coming and received his usual excited response ( _ok!! :) can't wait to see u_ ). All she did once she was there was some homework and reading, Steve having his own things to grade for a freshman level lit class he was also teaching. But they simply enjoyed each others company, plus Steve cooked up another delicious dinner, over which they talked about everything ranging from school to the news to one another's habits and behaviors in a teasing manner.

And that was how the days found Natasha in Steve's office, his classroom, or the library, and the evenings (except one) found her in his apartment, finishing projects and studying until she passed out or had to leave for work (and even then she would often return and stay up in the kitchen until she finished, only then crawling into bed with Steve).

Her parents had long stopped asking where she was sleeping at night, either just not caring or not wanting to know the answer... but it worked in Natasha's favor and she was not about to ask them which it was and risk putting a stop to that.

That first night, as soon as Steve had noticed Natasha falling asleep, he dragged her up to go shopping, under the guise of getting coffee. "Your head kept falling forward, Nat," he'd informed her between laughs after she'd protested that she was 'perfectly awake' with her eyes still shut, head resting on her open textbook.

She mumbled something but did get up, though still huffy. When they pulled up in front of Target, she was confused, but when Steve told her to get all her essentials, and that he wasn't leaving her side until she was done, she realized why he'd hauled her out of the apartment. She rolled her eyes but it didn't take away from how she felt, having sweet this man care for her.

Everything was retrieved within 15 minutes and then they were back in the car, this time actually heading towards their favorite coffee shop since Steve felt a little bad for lying to her. Once they were done there, they headed back to Steve's apartment.

That night, Natasha's favorite shampoo and conditioner, a spare toothbrush, and all her other necessary items (including a tub of chocolate chip ice cream) took up residence in Steve's home. It was clear that he was okay with her staying over, and she was clearly planning on doing just that.

They got ready for bed together, Natasha using one of Steve's large t-shirts as pajamas, and finished their work for the night side by side, wholly comfortable in their position in Steve's bed - in both body and soul.

Natasha didn't return Wednesday night due to a middle-of-the-night shift at work, but it actually worked out perfectly because it gave Steve a chance to ready everything. He would put his plan into action the next day, and he was ready as ever by the time he arrived at school Thursday morning.

However, when Natasha walked into his class, almost every thought flew from his mind. She was wearing his shirt! At school! Granted, it was tucked into a high-waisted pair of shorts, and it looked like she owned it, but it _was_ his. And damn if that didn't want to make him cancel the entire day just so he could spend it ravishing her.

He didn't even think about his next actions, but they were helpful to his (somewhat forgotten) plan, in the end.

"Ms. Romanoff." She looked up when she heard Steve's low voice closer to her than she was expecting, to find him standing right next to her desk, peering down at her with a dangerous look in his eyes. She smirked as she had a good idea of what was coming next. "Please see me in my office during lunch."

And she was right - she knew him too well. "Of course, Mr. Rogers." she smiled prettily and batted her eyelashes.

Steve had to resist the urge to roll his eyes (boy, she was really rubbing off on him, wasn't she?) both as he realized how transparent he was being and because her efforts amused him.

As promised, Natasha showed up only a few minutes after the lunch bell rang. He looked up with a smile as he heard the door shut and Natasha's scent wafted towards him.

"So the shirt, hm?" she started, her voice steady but the teasing glint in her eye and slight upturn of her lips betraying her.

"Well, yeah. What were you expecting?" Steve replied, voice gone a little lower than normal and eyes raking over her body before landing on her own pools of green.

Natasha tossed her hair over her shoulder, head tilting back slightly, and laughed. "Pretty much exactly that, but honestly I only wore it because I was going to return it to you" she answered, voice still thick with amusement, as she walked to where he was sat at his desk.

Steve turned while she was walking so it was easy for Natasha to put her knees on either side of his thighs, wrap her arms around his neck, and kiss him - soft and slow.

She pulled away to see Steve smiling, as if it grew there without him knowing, with a totally content look in his eyes.

"Hi," he murmured, face still glazed over in that expression.

"Hi," Natasha smirked just a little before hopping off and grabbing her lunch, settling on the floor, peering up at him.

Steve grabbed his own lunch and joined her, kissing her chastely once more just because she looked so damn cute. They chatted amiably for a few minutes, Steve calming himself enough to ask what he needed to ask. Finally, the opportunity presented itself.

He 'accidentally' spilled a bit of water on the blanket, so it wasn't unusual at all when he said, "shit, hey Nat can you reach and grab the napkins up there?" He motioned with his head towards the bookcase and she followed his gaze, standing up immediately to help. Her back was to him, and when she turned back around, Steve was on one knee on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> this is only bc I didn't want to give you guys 7k words again so I cut it here! on the bright side next chapter should be up in a couple days. 
> 
> share your feelings with me!!! thanks for reading <3


	27. Home-coming (part II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what follows when Natasha turns around to find Steve on one knee...

As soon as she caught sight of him, Natasha gasped and the stack of napkins fell to the floor. She looked from them back up to Steve, face expressing the shock she felt.

Steve was looking back up with her with so much fondness, and barely contained joy in his expression, his eyes absolutely sparkling. "Natasha Romanoff," a smile came unbidden as he said her name, "what'dya say..." he pulled out two tickets from behind his back and fanned them between his fingers as he finished, "prom?"

Natasha immediately moved towards him, laughing through tears and whacking him once just for being so dramatic. Steve laughed and pulled her to his body as he stood to his full height. As soon as she was close enough, Natasha pulled his face down to hers and kissed him, slow and sound. She only pulled away when her brain started functioning again and she realized something.

"I don't understand..." she breathed with a puzzled look to match her statement.

Steve looked a little sheepish now, the blush on his face not entirely from her kiss as he explained everything to her.

"Well, I didn't want you not to go to your senior prom, so I signed up to chaperone. And I know it's not the same, but I figured maybe we can sneak away, and even if not, at least we'll be in the same room together, and I get to take you home at the end of the night. Almost just like a real prom," he finished with a crooked smile."

Natasha was quiet for a moment, and when she finally did find her voice, it was soft, full of awe and wonder as she whispered his name, "Steve..."

He shifted on his feet, nervous at her lack of an answer. She noticed this and continued speaking, pressing her palm against his cheek in a gentle caress. "You're too sweet to me..." she sighed and flicked her eyes down and back up quickly, "but yes, yes I'll kinda sorta go to prom with you," her lips quirked up in a wry grin.

Steve was positively beaming, just gazing at her a moment before he picked her up and spun her around, kissing her through it. They were both smiling like complete dorks when he set her back down.

The rest of lunch passed quickly and they went about the rest of their days in positive spirits, parting at his door with a chaste but no less emotion-packed kiss.

Natasha didn't see Steve again until after 10pm that night. She had meetings after school, and then a shift at work from 6-10, but she couldn't imagine going home that night, especially after the day they'd had.

When she let herself in, the lights were all still on, which meant Steve was still up somewhere. She shut it softly behind her and quickly went to shower and change, to get the sweat and stench of the club off her. She knew Steve didn't exactly love what she did for work, so she made an effort to not remind him of it, which included not letting him smell other men's cologne on her.

She heard some rumbling where the laundry machine was located and figured the source of the noise was Steve. She called out to him that she was home, and then headed to the shower without waiting for his response. When she came into the bedroom, clad in nothing more than a pair of boy shorts and an old t-shirt, he was waiting for her on the bed.

She stopped in the motion of towel-drying her hair. "Hi," she said, lips quirking up.

Steve returned her smile and her greeting, copying her "hi" with a bit of amusement in his voice. He was sitting in middle of the bed, cross-legged, so Natasha tossed the towel back into the bathroom and moved until she was sitting right on top of him, wound her arms around his neck and then just stayed there. Steve was the one who made the move to kiss her, though Natasha put up no fight. When they parted, Steve pulled her closer, resting his face in the curve of her neck.

Suddenly he was surrounded by the scent of her shampoo, and he inhaled deeply, trying to soak as much of it up as possible. He probably had a bit of an unhealthy obsession with it, but it just reminded him so entirely of Natasha, there was no way to stop it.

Natasha chuckled when she felt Steve take in a deep breath and knew exactly what he was doing.

"Babe?" Natasha rarely used pet names, so he looked up immediately.

"Want to do me a huuuuge favor?" she gave him those big pleading eyes just to play it up a little more, knowing he would love this just as much as (or maybe more than) she appreciated it.

"Course," he answered simply, thumb now running over the exposed skin of her inner thigh.

She smiled sweetly, and then asked, "braid my hair?"

"Sure," his eyes were bright, "but you're gonna have to teach me.."

"Okay," Natasha gave in easily. "But with how good you are with your fingers, I think you'll pick it up pretty quickly," she smirked and winked as Steve let out this little sound and squeezed her knee in reaction.

"Jesus, Nat," he blew out a breath, but before he could say anything else, Natasha was laughing and it made Steve forget about everything except her, in that moment. He indulged her with a smile before spreading his legs and turning her, pulling her closer so she fit snugly in the space he'd created.

"Okay," Natasha started, "first divide my hair into two halves, straight down the middle if you can."

Steve immediately jumped into action and followed her instructions. He was being just the right amount of gentle, brushing through her still-damp hair with his fingers as he went. She grinned to herself - she knew he would be a natural.

She told him what to do after that, and then guided him for the first couple of movements, covering his hands with her own. He got the hang it of it fairly quickly, and eventually Natasha let him go and just sat there, enjoying the gentle feeling of his hands stroking through her hair. She sighed as he got to the more sensitive part of her head and Steve chuckled, taking care to go extra slow there so she would feel everything.

Finally he was done and looked proudly down at his work, patting Natasha's head almost like a pat on his own back. She kissed him on the cheek as a thank you before climbing over him and burrowing herself under the sheets. Steve chuckled as he watched her and went to quickly get ready for bed, joining her just a few minutes later. She immediately snuggled up to him and he welcomed her with open arms, left hand dropping to her waist to keep her close. They stretched out and just stayed that way for a while, watching something on Netflix until Natasha started dozing off, eyelashes fluttering shut against Steve's chest.

Gently, he moved them both down to lie flat under the covers and turned off the TV, then the light, before turning to kiss Natasha's nose lightly, the little gesture causing her to squirm and end up even closer to Steve. He hummed in delight and fell asleep not long after.

  
The next day followed much the same pattern, save for his dramatic prom-posal, and she didn't wear his shirt again, but that was because she had actually returned it to him like she said she would.

They drove to school together, assuming they'd be going home together later that evening again, and not really caring if anyone saw. It was perfectly normal for a trusted teacher to drive a student to school if, for instance, the student's car wasn't working, so it didn't raise any eyebrows when they walked in together.

However, what did catch one eye as they walked through the double doors into the hallway that led to his classroom and her locker was how they were very close together, brushing shoulders every once in a while, and smiling way too much for 7:30 in the morning. He watched as they stopped in front of her locker and Mr. Rogers glanced around quickly, thankfully not noticing him, before quietly saying something to Natasha. She smiled and opened her locker, calling out as Mr. Rogers began to walk away, "have a good day, Mr. Rogers." There was a flirtatious lilt in her voice that had the spectator narrowing his eyes at her in suspicion as she smiled to herself while grabbing a few books from her locker.

He didn't say anything as she passed, but made a note to himself to keep a close eye on her going forward.

Natasha knew they were probably walking the line a little to thinly, but it was harder than she expected to control her smaller behaviors and tone of voice. They hadn't raised any suspicions yet, though, so as the day went on, she allowed herself to indulge a little. A wink when they made eye contact during class, sitting a little too close during their lunch meeting-slash-date out on the patio, catching his eye from across the hallway and smirking almost imperceptibly.

It was what got her through the day, and when the last bell finally rang and everyone rushed out to get started on their weekends, she made her way to Steve's office. He wasn't there, but she wasn't expecting him to be since he normally straightened up his classroom on Fridays, so she made herself at home, kicking off her shoes and settling into the pillowed area on the floor with a book, perfectly content.

She was lying on her back, legs stretched out, with one arm behind her head, the other holding her book up when Steve walked in.

The first thing she heard was a chuckle, then the door being shut and locked, and she smiled behind her book.

"Hey legs," he jokingly greeted, and then he was there, slowly kneeling next to her and crawling up her body, sneaking his head into the space between her chest and where her book was in the air. His hands moved up her body as he went, and came to rest at her upper arms, palms running up and down in slow movements. She looked at him with an amused expression, one eyebrow arched and lips slightly quirked up in an unspoken question. He just grinned, then leaned down and kissed her breathless.

When he finally pulled back for air, Natasha's book had fallen to the floor in favor of wrapping her arms around his neck and her face was flushed. He grinned again, couldn't seem to stop that lately, and simply said, "hi."

She rolled her eyes but returned the greeting as he sat back on her legs since his knees had ended up on either side of her. "Ready to go?"

She nodded, reaching for the discarded book as Steve stood up and then leaning over to put her shoes back on. When she was done, Steve offered a hand to help her up, and she was reminded of a similar time, a moment that had ended up with them here, and for a moment she was caught up in reflecting on their journey together.

When she snapped out of it, Steve was standing with his messenger bag on and she quickly grabbed her backpack, smiling softly and shaking her head in gentle dismissal when he asked her what she was thinking about.

Steve was curious, but let it go, opting instead to squeeze her hand before opening the door and checking the hallway. It was clear, as expected, so he risked placing his hand at the small of her back while they walked to his car. It fell away as soon as they heard voices, but Natasha felt warm at the gesture the entire ride home.

They relaxed for a bit when they got to Steve's apartment - Natasha launched herself over the couch to plop down and Steve joined her, walking (like a normal person) and sitting on the far end so she could place her feet on his lap.

They laughed over the show together and debated with each other and then got onto other conversation topics, but eventually stopped as Steve's stomach growled. After a quick discussion about what to eat for dinner, Steve left to go to the store, since he decided he wanted to cook for her that night.

When he returned 30 minutes later, Natasha was no longer on the couch. He set the groceries down and wandered to the bedroom, where he found her lying on her stomach, legs in the air, a book open in front of her and a few pieces of paper scattered on the bed... presumably doing homework.

He smiled gently and, without saying a word, moved towards her, ultimately crawling onto the bed and positioning himself on all fours above her. He brought his head down so his breath was hitting the side of her neck, moved his hands to her sides, under her shirt, and squeezed. Natasha shrieked and nearly jumped off the bed, held there only by his body locking her in place.

She was ticklish in that spot and he damn knew it. He continued tickling her even through her laughter and squirming, flipping her over and pinning her in place, and never letting up all the while. Finally, after her laughter and shrieks of his name had made _him_ laugh himself breathless (the state of Natasha the same, but with tears in her eyes from the intensity of it), he stopped.

Natasha inhaled and exhaled long, deep breaths and Steve did the same while never taking his eyes off her. She was flushed from head to toe, hair splayed out on his bedspread, eyes wide and shining, looking quite honestly, delicious. He chuckled once more to himself and then leaned down to kiss her, stealing away whatever air she'd regained.

She pulled away when she really couldn't breathe, and Steve smiled down at her once more before climbing off the bed.

"Come on, time for dinner," he held out a hand to her but she stubbornly shook her head, devilish little smile telling him everything he needed to know.

He rolled his eyes but gave an indulgent smile, then turned around, bent his knees a little, and braced himself. Sure enough, he felt a weight settling against his back and limbs wrap around both his neck and waist. Natasha would never admit it to anyone, but she loved getting piggy-back rides from Steve. No matter the short distance, she always laughed her heart out from the exhilaration of it. There was just something about getting to be like a kid again, plus getting to work Steve a little harder, that she enjoyed so much.

He sat her down on the kitchen counter and she never moved, watching him cook dinner for the next 20 minutes. After they'd eaten and cleaned up, Natasha sauntered back to the bedroom, completely bypassing the couch, where they normally spent their post-dinner time. Steve followed her like a young puppy, completely falling for the sway of her hips and look in her eye as she glanced back at him over her shoulder.

He thought there was a million secrets held in those eyes, and he was set on discovering each and every one of them.

Natasha changed into pajamas (his t shirt, and his t shirt only), so Steve followed suit, both of them ending up in the bathroom to go through their bedtime routine. Neither of them were all that tired, though, and they knew this... they just wanted to get comfortable and have a nice night in.

Steve put on a movie and Natasha immediately cuddled up to him, leaning into his chest while he wrapped one arm around her waist, thumb dipping below the elastic waistband of her panties to trace over her hipbone -- it was comfortable. That only lasted so long, though.

A scene in the movie came on that prompted Steve to start talking, telling Natasha in a quiet almost dream-like voice how he wished for that to happen -- a chance at freedom, acceptance from everyone in the on-screen couple's lives... basically, happily ever after.

He didn't seem like he was really talking _to_ her; it was more like he was just muttering thoughts that had been occupying his mind for a long time, and she happened to be there. That was what got to Natasha the most -- the knowledge that these were sincere desires, that he truly wished that for them.

So she turned around in his embrace, gently pulled his face down so he was looking into her eyes, and then pressed their lips together. It was soft and said everything Natasha couldn't yet say aloud. Steve sighed into it and gave in, melting into her touch. It was more than either of them were expecting, but they were absolutely okay with that. Without breaking away, Natasha moved to straddle Steve, the new position allowing him to pull her closer, wanting as much physical contact as possible.

They pulled apart to breathe and Steve gave Natasha a significant look. She returned it with a soft smile, certainty in her eyes, and he took that as the consent she meant it to be. He moved his lips to her neck, and his hands up and under her (his) shirt, stroking the soft skin there, drawing a quiet groan from Natasha.

They made love for the second time that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY IT WASNT A PROPOSAL but I hope this was sufficiently cute <333
> 
> stay tuned! thank you all so much for reading and commenting. you make me smile like the sun :)


	28. Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alone time + prom

They awoke the next morning wrapped around each other, Natasha waking first, stretching and smiling as she recalled the events of the previous night. Steve stirred in her arms and blinked his eyes open, a slow smile forming as he breathed her in and felt her skin against his.

"Morning," he croaked, voice rough with lingering sleep, and Natasha's smile turned soft in response. They lay there for a while in this relaxed, half-awake state relishing the presence of the other before Steve's bladder called him away.

When he came back from the bathroom, he grabbed the sweatshirt that was hanging off his chair and threw it on, chilly from the sweat that had cooled on his body overnight. As soon as he was settled back in the bed, Natasha moved closer to him, snuggling up and burying her head in the softness of the sweatshirt, humming in contentment. Her eyes fluttered shut as a result of the combination of how comfy Steve was and his fingertips running lightly up and down her still-bare shoulder, back, and arm.

It was as they lay in peaceful silence and Natasha's mind drifted that she thought back to a topic discussed in one of her classes earlier that week. She felt bad for even thinking it, but it had been weighing on her mind, and now with being so relaxed, she couldn't stop the thought from rising to the forefront, over-taking all else. And she had to ask, all that uncertainty from the week suddenly overwhelming her.

"Steve?" she broke the silence.

He responded with a "hmm?" but never stopped tracing patterns on her skin.

"Are we bad people?"

There - it was out. A quiet, almost fearful voice, but she had asked, and there was no going back.

Steve stopped his movements and pulled away enough to look at her. He tried to catch her gaze but she wouldn't meet his eyes.

"What?" he voiced, disbelieving and also wanting to make sure he heard correctly because it was so out of nowhere.

Natasha sighed, the air suddenly heavy. She felt fragile as she asked again, "Is this.. what we're doing.. is this wrong? Are we bad people?"

"Nat.." Steve began to respond, his voice serious and calling her attention. He smiled gently when she finally looked at him and continued, grasping her hands to emphasize what he was about to say. "No, of course not, Nat. Why would you even ask that?" His eyes flicked over her face in concern as he simultaneously brushed her hair back in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

Natasha's gaze dropped down again and she took her hands out from Steve's grip, opting instead to play with a loose thread on the pocket of his hoodie.

She shrugged, "I don't know. It's just... in my health class we've been talking about relationships and what we decided from a bunch of books and movies is that, relationships where there's a big age difference or some.. questionable circumstances - you know, like ours... that those are not healthy, not.. that they're inherently bad." Her shoulders slumped as she said the words aloud. "So.. are we bad people.." It didn't sound like much of a question that time, more like another iteration, a summary of everything she'd let out.

She appeared so small in that moment that Steve didn't know what to do. So he reacted the only we he could think of -- honestly. He ran his palms up her arms and squeezed.

"No, oh God, no, Nat." He brushed his thumbs on her jawline, "Sweetheart, look at me."

She did, the pet name helping to comfort and warm her, and he made sure to be completely transparent as he continued, "those.. the basis of that statement was on the kinds of relationships that are unhealthy and not good, but not just because of their ages or the situation or whatever. It's because the people in those relationships were in it for selfish reasons, for purely physical reasons, and if you know where to look, you'll see that they each never really loved the other person for who they were, but instead for whatever image or ideal they fulfilled. And we -- we.. care about each other," his voice softened, his emotions spilling over, "we share more than just the physical, and we're equals, and I admire and respect your whole person, flaws and all," he tried for a soft smile. "Unless that's not true for you.." he trailed off, teasing her just a bit to lighten the mood but fearful of that for a minute, as well.

Now it was Natasha's turn to smile. She searched his eyes and leaned a little more into his hand on her cheek. "No, Steve. I mean yes, of course that's true," she indulged him. "Steve you're -- you're amazing," her voice had turned slightly breathy, "and I feel like, like you said -- we're partners. I don't want anything from you or from this relationship for myself, I'm not setting any expectations or anything. There's no specific thing that I had in mind, I just.. I got involved, I did it because I.. like spending time with you and, I don't know," she ducked her head and Steve could detect her cheeks tinged a light shade of pink, "you just.. make me happier and better and it's just this feeling!" She became more flustered as she spoke, and sped through her last point, her voice raised almost in frustration by the end.

Steve chuckled even as he leaned in to brush his lips against her forehead. Natasha let out a sigh of relief and comfort at the feeling, and leaned back into him when he pulled away, returning to her place nestled into his side. Steve let out a breath as well, pulling her a little closer and holding her a little tighter, dropping another kiss on the top of her head. "See, there's no way this is wrong.. no way we could be horrible people just for finding someone with whom we fit."

And she believed him. For the first time since the thought had come into her mind, she felt fully at peace. And if she snuggled a little further into Steve, inhaled a little more deeply than was necessary, took advantage of the warmth he was offering, she really couldn't be blamed.

  
After sitting like that for a while longer, they both felt the need to shower. Steve, ever the gentleman, let her go first, not wanting to offer to go together and risk upsetting the equilibrium he'd just so carefully established. He made the bed and then fresh coffee for her to have once she was done, and then checked his email. When Natasha appeared at the table, he slid her cup of coffee in front of her and left her with a kiss on the cheek as he headed to the bathroom.

Natasha was feeling especially vulnerable that morning, and so the appreciation she felt for the man singing in the shower, where he didn't think she could hear him, was amplified. So much so that she felt driven to do something to express her gratitude. She puttered around the kitchen, knowing he would be hungry, probably already was, and decided on chocolate chip pancakes.

When Steve came back, Natasha had just finished flipping the last pancake onto the plate and was turning off the stove. Her back was to him but she'd heard him come in, so when she turned around and saw him, she simply smiled and brushed by him on her way to put the plate of pancakes on the table. As she walked back, his arms reached out and grabbed her waist, pulling her back to him and spinning her around. He leaned down to kiss her and his hands on her waist worked on untying the apron, letting it fall to the floor before he pulled her flush against him.

When he finally pulled away, his arms still holding her in place, she was smiling brilliantly up at him. She took advantage of his momentary stupor to wriggle out of his grasp, grabbing the can of whipped cream and bottle of syrup from the table and grinning at him when he noticed all the sugar he'd be consuming and arched an eyebrow at her.

Breakfast passed enjoyably - with sticky sweet kisses shared very frequently and the pancakes almost entirely gone by the time Natasha was on her back on the table, whipped cream being sprayed on her stomach and Steve's tongue following the puffy white line, licking it in a way that had her squirming. She complained that she was going to need another shower but Steve didn't let up, instead smirking devilishly at her from under his lashes and going right back to it.

She did in fact, end up needing another shower, and so did Steve, after he'd taken her skin between his teeth in a quick and gentle nip, resulting in Natasha squealing and launching herself against him. He couldn't stop laughing even as he tried to avoid being attacked by a wild and very messy Natasha.

Eventually they'd both ended up on the floor, Steve hauling her over his shoulder only when they both had calmed down enough. It got another shriek out of her and she protested the entire way to the bathroom. However when he ran the bath, instead of the shower, she softened and wrapped her arms around him, smiling, pleased, when he stripped the rest of her clothes and gently lifted her into the bath.

"Aren't you gonna join me?" she'd asked when she was warm, slipping into the water, and noticed Steve remaining outside, only his shirt missing.

He gave her an indulgent smile and shook his head lightly. "I'm afraid if I get in, we may never make it out," he answered with complete honesty.

Natasha's eyes widened minutely but she saw his point, softly nodding her understanding. After she got out and got dressed (again), she grabbed whatever she thought she might need - for prom was that night.

He drove her home, dropping her off with a kiss inside the car, and then went to go pick up his suit from the dry cleaner's.

He was hoping they matched at least a little bit, but he really had no idea if they would. He hadn't wanted to ask what Natasha was planning to wear, selfishly wanting it to be a surprise, and Natasha hadn't told him.

Now, that was partly because she wasn't even sure yet. She obviously didn't have a dress picked out like everyone else, since she hadn't even been planning to go, so as soon as she got home, she set out rifling through her closet, hoping something in there would be good enough. Her hand touched something covered in plastic and she made space to look at it.

Sure enough, she'd found just the thing. In front of her was a floor-length, thin-strap black dress. It was simple, and she'd worn it once before to a dance recital, but it was perfect. It was her. She smiled to herself as she pulled it out and laid it atop her bed.

The rest of the day was spent getting ready for the dance -- it was already noon by the time she arrived home, and prom was supposed to start at 4:30 to allow time for dinner and dancing and still have the students going home at a decent hour.

She was ready by 4, looking simple and beautiful in an old-fashioned sort of way, she thought as she looked at her profile in the mirror. Her hair was curled just slightly, looking soft to touch, and was done up in a low bun, some tendrils left loose that she had tucked behind her ears. With the time left, she decided to watch some TV to relax a little bit. All this getting ready had suddenly made the approaching hours very real, and she was feeling anxious for a reason she couldn't quite figure out.

By the time the episode was over, it was nearing 5, and she thought it was about time to head out.. fashionably late and all that. She had calmed considerably, and now was actually looking forward to the night, though maybe that was just her looking forward to seeing Steve all dressed up, she thought as she walked out the door.

* * *

Steve didn't take Natasha there, couldn't even though he'd wanted to, for her parents were home and he had to be at the venue early to help set up some last minute things. So he hadn't seen her, had no idea what to expect, really, other than that she would look beautiful.

He was stationed near the entrance with another older teacher, Erskine, if he remembered correctly, the pair of them being assigned to be the second check as the students moved into the hall after passing security. He was in the middle of a conversation with the older man when she walked in.

He laid eyes on her and immediately froze mid-sentence. It became suddenly difficult to get air into his lungs, and then his breath completely left him when they made eye contact, a secretive smile gracing Natasha's already beyond beautiful features.

She held his gaze as she moved, looking away after a moment, a light blush rising to her cheeks upon observing Steve's reaction, and Steve's eyes tracked her as she walked further into the hall. An elbow nudged him and he was brought suddenly out of his trance. He glanced down at that and found the elderly teacher giving him a significant look, then gently pointing out, "you're staring."

Steve's eyes grew wide at that, and his mind raced as he quickly looked around. It seemed as if no one else had noticed, and he let himself breathe a little easier. Still, though, he was alarmed and disappointed in himself at how blatant he'd been. This could definitely be a problem. Dr. Erskine said nothing further, though, only looked at him with a knowing sparkle in his eyes, and Steve was extremely grateful. He ran a hand through his hair and then excused himself, muttering some excuse about needing to check on something.  
  
The night went on and after dinner, the party got into full swing. Natasha found herself genuinely having fun as she was pulled onto the dance floor by Maria Hill. After a few songs of shaking it like Shakira and singing along, Natasha was breathless and ready for a break. She headed to the punch station with promises to Maria that she'd be back in a bit, after she had a chance to catch her breath. What she didn't realize was that Steve was now positioned right next to the refreshment area.  
  
She smiled to herself when she noticed him standing there and looked up at him when she came to a stop with a bright expression on her face. "Mr. Rogers, Dr. Erskine," she greeted politely, professionally, with a smile and a nod to each of them.  
  
"Good evening, Natasha. Having fun?" Steve replied, trying to keep the conversation as light and normal as possible what with another person there.  
  
Natasha poured some punch into her cup and took a drink, humming an affirmative answer as she sipped and looked up at Steve from under her lashes. She gulped the drink down, then asked, "you?"  
  
Dr. Erskine slunk away, sending Steve a knowing smile as he found somewhere else to be for the next few minutes, as Steve floundered for words. The innocent look on her face he knew meant she was feeling anything but, and he was lost for words for a moment, until he swallowed forcefully and just replied, "yeah, good," nodding a little excessively.  
  
Now that they were (somewhat) alone, she stepped a little closer, taking her time refilling her drink and pouring a second. Steve let their fingers brush together as she handed him a drink. Glancing around quickly and finding no one watching them, he laced their fingers together and squeezed once before letting go, looking directly into her eyes as he whispered, "you look stunning."  
  
Natasha let the blush rise to her cheeks, knowing she could blame it on the warmth from dancing, and and her gaze softened as she maintained eye contact, trying to speak without sound. "Well, you look quite dapper yourself," she replied with an easy smile, stepping a bit closer to Steve. Just as she was about to reach out to touch him, Maria appeared seemingly out of nowhere, breathless as she slung an arm around Natasha's shoulder and pulled her in.

"There you are! I've been waiting forever... come on, you're missing all the fun!" She was evidently here to retrieve Natasha, to bring her back to the dance floor.

Steve gave Natasha a playful look and Maria seemed to finally notice him standing there. "Oh, hey, Mr. Rogers," she cheerfully greeted before turning back to Natasha. She was nearly bouncing when she looked at Natasha with pleading eyes and asked, "ready??"

Steve chuckled and dismissed them with a not-entirely-professional "have fun, ladies."

Over the next hour, Natasha danced more than she had at a school event in a long time, and found herself glad Steve had persuaded her to come to this. She was thankful she wasn't missing out on her last and biggest school dance.

She'd spent a decent amount of time with Maria, and later Clint once he'd spotted her. That lasted a while, until they each went off with their dates - Clint with Laura and Maria with some guy Natasha recognized from their science class. Immediately, Natasha was approached by more than a few boys from her class for a dance. She'd turned them down, knowing exactly what they meant, and opting instead to share glances with Steve from across the room.

The first time she was approached, by Jack Rollins of all the douchebags, she'd caught Steve's gaze from across the room and smiled widely at how tense he looked watching the boy even be near her. And since then, every time someone else had come up to her, she made it a point to look at Steve instead, holding his gaze and sending him a soft look that conveyed her decision and feelings for him, all while turning the boy down. It was a sort of way for her to tease him but let him know all the same that he needn't worry, that all she was thinking about was him.

That, of course, turned into catching each other's eye even when Natasha was not being bombarded, as well. It seemed that the entire night would be spent sharing looks across the room, soft and so very telling.

It helped both of them get through a night that they wished they could spending together, the beautiful way they could converse without words helping alleviate some of that pain. Steve knew that Natasha was devoted to him, still thinking about him, and Natasha gathered from Steve's expressions that, well, he was completely and utterly captivated by her. The blush on her cheeks seemed permanent, thanks to the way Steve was looking at her. It was persistent, not predatory or sexual, though they both felt an element of that pull towards each other, but gentle, as though she was the most special thing he'd ever encountered.

At one point, a student accidentally spilled his drink on Steve, who was still manning his post near the refreshment area. It wasn't a huge commotion, and Steve kindly brushed off the student's apologies before excusing himself without many people noticing.

Natasha, of course, had seen the whole thing, always having an eye on him, and noticed when he started walking away. She knew immediately where he must be going, and decided to follow, muttering an excuse to Maria before slipping off the dance floor.

Steve was halfway through scrubbing at the stain on his white dress shirt when he heard the sound of the door opening. Right then he very much regretted his decision not to wear an undershirt (a decision originally made in the hope that he would get to spend time with Natasha after the dance), and prepared himself to make an awkward greeting to whomever was now in the bathroom with him.

He looked up at the feeling of someone standing directly behind him, and there was Natasha, features twisted in a way that meant nothing but trouble (and really really good things).

He turned around to face her, eyes wide, and she just smiled, walking forwards until they were chest to (bare) chest. He barely got out a "Nat, what --" before his lips were being smothered by hers. It was the kind of kiss that took his breath away, told him exactly what she wanted, and it tested all his restraint to not give in right there.

She could evidently sense his inner turmoil because then she pulled away and spoke, with that same mischievous expression, her tone of voice now matching in its suggestiveness. "Come on Steve. Hooking up in the bathroom, like a real prom," her smile turned wicked then before she continued, "I thought that's what you wanted for me..." finishing with a pretty pout and quick batting of her eyelashes.

It didn't really take much to convince Steve. He was hopeless when it came to the girl in front of him, he was too far gone. Once Natasha's eyes softened and he saw the real emotions lying underneath, he pulled her close and pressed their lips together again. She exhaled into it and as soon as he felt her lips turn up into a smile, he knew he made the right decision. She didn't know it yet, but she wasn't going to be getting exactly what she wanted. Nevertheless, Steve knew she'd still be very happy with the outcome.

He let her nip his bottom lip a few times before snaking his tongue inside her mouth, causing Natasha to let out a quiet groan. He smirked just a little and moved his lips to her jaw, then neck, whispering against her skin like an admission just slipping past his lips, "you're all I think about."

It was barely a whisper but was spoken with such utter sincerity that her heart constricted in her chest. It was so sudden and moving she ached but then Steve moved on, sucking at the spot he knew made her go weak. And sure enough, she drew in a sharp breath at the sensation, warning him in a tight voice, "Steve.. no marks.."

He frowned slightly and then smiled again as an idea hit him. He moved lower, brushing his lips along her collarbone until he reached the top of her breasts that were not covered by her dress. He mouthed the bare skin there and simultaneously reached behind her to unzip the top half of her dress. As it fell down her shoulders, he immediately moved in, the soft touch of his fingers followed by the press of his lips and slightly sharp feeling of his teeth making Natasha shiver.

After a while of this, he leaned back and grinned at what he found -- his girl was satisfactorily marked, faint purple shapes scattered across her torso where no one could see. His eyes flicked up to meet Natasha's, and what met him - a dark and wanting gaze - had him wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her deeply as he lifted her up and set her on the bathroom counter.

He kissed her once more, chastely, and flashed a grin before falling to his knees. At that point, Natasha had figured his plan out, but she wasn't complaining. He kissed her ankles, grinned at her, and slowly moved up her body, head disappearing under her long dress as he went. The inability to see him made the sensations even better for Natasha, and when he finally reached where she wanted him most, she nearly jumped off the counter as he licked a wet stripe over her panties.

She squirmed and forced out a breathy "Steve.." that was quite pleading but was damn close enough for Steve to stroke her skin softly in an attempt to calm her. It worked, and she relaxed, and then he lifted her hips and pulled the useless fabric off, putting his mouth back on her in an instant. Her hips jolted forward and Steve had to hold her in place with one arm across her waist, the other going to work on her most sensitive spot.

That, mixed with his unceasing tongue, caused Natasha to shout his name before she could stop herself. Steve immediately stopped, coming out from under the cloak of her dress to remind her, "try to stay quiet, baby," in a gentle voice that did not at all match the dark, thunderous look in his eyes.

Natasha couldn't seem to find words, caught by his gaze, and nodded minutely, biting her lip as he disappeared again. He knew exactly what brought her to the edge, and it didn't take long before she was there, falling over it with her legs wrapped tight around his neck and hands gripping the counter so hard the skin turned white, whimpering his name as he didn't let up until he felt her tremors subside.

Finally, her body relaxed and he removed her legs from his shoulders before wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and coming back out to face her. He couldn't help his soft smile when he took in her appearance -- face flushed, hair messy, chest moving visibly up and down. She grinned when she opened her eyes and saw him, and he was sure he looked equally, if not more disheveled, at the way her smile contorted into one that he knew very well as meaning something like 'so adorable.'

He let every emotion show in his expression as he leaned in to kiss her. When they came apart, she rested her forehead on his chest and blinked lazily up at him, stars in her eyes and that little smile seemingly a permanent fixture on her face now.

Steve brushed her hair back into place while smiling gently down at her. He was sure his eyes made his inner emotions very apparent right then, but he found that he didn't care. He loved her, he knew it for certain, and he could feel the words wanting to practically burst out. But he knew it wasn't the right moment, in the bathroom at her high school prom, so he held it in and settled for a tender forehead kiss and soft-spoken, "we should probably get back out there.."

Natasha sighed but nodded and let Steve help her off the counter. He zipped her dress back up for her, brushing her skin lightly as he went, and smoothed her hair. He attempted to fix her makeup, but it hadn't gone all that askew in the first place, so Natasha waved him off and wiped some mascara from under her eyes, blotting her face with a tissue before turning back around to face Steve.

He had his shirt back on and was in the process of buttoning it up. Natasha reached up to fix his hair as best she could, running her hands through water and then through his hair to re-style it. Her hands moved down a bit when she was finished and she expertly tied his tie, while Steve just watched with pure adoration in his eyes. She gave him a little pat on the chest and pecked his lips when she was finished, and Steve smiled that mysterious and all the same open smile that held something Natasha couldn't quite figure out before putting his suit jacket back on.

They took one last look at themselves in the mirror and decided they looked good enough to head back out to the hall. Steve opened the door slightly and glanced around to see if the coast was clear. Finding that it was, he ushered Natasha out first and told her to go sit and rest. He came back into the hall about 5 minutes after her, having taken a short walk so that their arrivals would be more spaced out, to avoid suspicion.

The party went on for another 45 minutes as it had been - Natasha rejoined the dance floor after resting, though she was now wishing to be with Steve more than ever. But she knew she couldn't and so tried to be satisfied with their time together earlier, and tried to enjoy herself on the dance floor. That is, until the DJ announced it was time to slow things down.

 

As couples began joining each other on the floor for a slow dance, Natasha stepped off to the side, having no one to share that kind of dance with - or, at least, no one accessible at the moment. She listened to the beginning words of the song ("when we're finally alone, boy you feel like home") and watched her classmates dance, and a great feeling of melancholy washed over her. Everything in that moment just made the reality of their situation really hit her, went straight to her core, and she slipped out to the balcony for some much-needed air.

Steve, of course, had been keeping an eye on her, and so noticed when she disappeared outside. He glanced around quickly and, finding no one watching him, followed.

Natasha was leaning against the railing in a semi-lit corner of the balcony, letting the cool air blow through her and settle the sudden blaze of emotions that was consuming her, when she heard the door click shut. She tensed. and prepared herself to politely dismiss the unwelcome guest.

But then she felt a warm, firm, familiar body fall into place next to her, arm brushing hers just so, and a deep voice softly call out to her, "hey."

Natasha inhaled deeply and turned to face him. She tried for a smile and prayed for her voice not to sound so melancholy when she responded in kind, but it faltered and she returned her gaze to the city below. They could both hear the muffled melody of the same song still playing, could feel it through the floor, and it moved Steve to place a hand on her shoulder without thinking and gently turn her to face him.

"What's wrong?" Concern was evident in Steve’s voice. "I thought you were having fun..."

Natasha exhaled all the pent up emotions and let his touch soothe her. Still, she couldn’t quite meet his eyes as she gave him her answer. “I was…. but then, I don’t know,” she sounded deflated, her voice quiet, “they started playing this song and everyone was dancing together and -- listen to it – it’s us, Steve. So I guess it just.. hit me.. that the one person I want to dance with, I can’t.” She had met his gaze at one point, when she felt particularly impassioned, but let her eyes drop to the floor again as she finished.

It was a simple, singular problem that stood for a much larger theme in their relationship - the one thing really holding them back from going at this fully. Steve recognized that it wasn't just about a dance and was lost for words for a moment, feeling the emotion flow out of her, but eventually managed a breathy, “Nat..”

He began running his thumb across her skin unconsciously and Natasha moved out of his reach, still not meeting his gaze. Steve tracked his eyes over her and just stood there, lost in thought.

At the same time, he subconsciously listened. The female vocalist sang “I know you wanna hold me the right way” and it sunk into him, too. This song perfectly described their situation, their emotions, and he could easily understand what brought Natasha to her current state. Hell, it was bringing him there, as well.

Suddenly, but gently, Steve grasped her face in both his hands, brushing strands of hair away, and she met his gaze in surprise. “Natasha Romanoff,” his voice was very low, “may I have this dance?”

He didn’t plan to ask her to dance when he followed her out there, but the moment was right, it was dark and secluded, and it was what Natasha wanted. And he was glad he asked, as he watched her face turn into the softest, most unsure but hopeful expression he’d ever seen her wear. She looked up at him from under her lashes and bit her lip, as if she was hesitant to take him up on his offer. But then he sent a crooked grin her way and she nodded just slightly enough for Steve to see it.

He pulled her close, wrapped his arms loosely around her waist, and let her react, brushing his lips against her forehead ever so gently. Natasha's palms came to rest on his chest, and then after a few moments of Steve softly humming and barely moving, slid up to clasp together behind his neck. She closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the moment that she knew without a doubt was stolen and rare, and then rested her cheek against his chest, tucked just under his chin and pressed against his beating heart, as he began to slowly sway.

The song went on and Steve turned them in slow circles, feeling just as overcome with feelings as Natasha. He pulled her impossibly closer as a particular lyric struck a chord with him - “maybe after midnight, you could let me hold your hand."

They were both trying to find solace within each other, to glue themselves together to be bonded forever because they were so profoundly affected and caught up in the moment, and the only possible cure to that feeling was being with one another.

Not a word was uttered as they moved with each other, warm and unhurried. Rather, they danced and let the music wash over them, the lyrics sink into them, resonate within them both and pull them closer. The singer sang “and I'll meet you in a secret place, kissing in the dark is safe,” and they held more tightly to each other.

For reasons she couldn't quite understand, tears pricked at Natasha’s eyes, probably just so deeply impacted by this moment, and she pressed further into Steve, who held her tighter. They were sharing a moment of understanding and conversation without words at how they both felt this song in their very souls.

Lost in his own mind and the moment, at “I’m never gonna give you up”, Steve bent his head and pressed it into Natasha’s neck, inhaling deeply and making Natasha draw him in further. He backed away a few long moments later with the most feather-light brush of his lips against her jaw. When he was back to full standing position, Natasha returned her head to his chest and not a moment too soon, as the singer sang “I’ll keep it hush” and Natasha inhaled sharply before holding him as tightly as possible, at the same time as his tightening arms pulled her in infinitely closer, the two of them clutching at each other as if someone was going to come and rip them apart.

After the song had ended and the last words had been sung, they remained there for a few moments longer as they had been for the last couple lines — not moving, but just breathing each other in. The words of the song and feeling that had fallen over the two of them had gotten to him, and at the last “and I'll keep it quiet,” Steve’s heart had swelled beyond return, the words that had previously been swirling inside him now pushing against his rib cage, threatening to burst out. Now, though, he felt they were ready to be spoken aloud, to be shared with the world and the girl in front of him.

He took a steadying breath, tucked some loose strands of hair behind her ear, leaned into her just that bit more, finding strength and courage in her as always, then looked directly into her eyes and whispered, “I love you.”

  
Natasha's whole body froze for a few moments and her eyes went wide. Unable to say it back for some unknown reason, as words had completely left her, she did the only thing she could think of - pulled him down for a kiss that she hoped with all her heart made her feelings clear.

Steve responded enthusiastically, losing himself, pouring his entire soul into that kiss, not thinking for once and just being.

It was incredibly passionate and when they pulled apart to breathe, they didn't go far, unwilling to part and instead resting their foreheads together. They stayed connected, reveling in the slightly warm air of the almost-summer night, trying to commit everything to memory.

Eventually, they heard the music turn back to upbeat sounds and Steve pulled away in spite of Natasha's protesting noise. He squeezed her waist once in a familiar and comforting act.

“We should probably get back in there before someone notices we've both gone missing again,” he said with a smile that was both apologetic and a little amused.

Natasha’s lips turned up just slightly at the corner and Steve knew she was ready. He smiled at her one last time and turned to head back inside, Natasha following easily, thanks to the incredibly good place she was in right then.

She did re-enter the dance floor for a bit but if it hadn't been before, her attention was definitely elsewhere now. Maria and Clint both left a couple songs later and Natasha was finally set free from being social with her classmates. The last song of the night was finally announced and Natasha, who had stepped off the dance floor and had been wandering the venue, spotted Steve stacking chairs as she walked back from a hallway she'd found. He was probably beginning to clean up early with the other chaperones she'd seen milling about, and that's how she knew they were safe to talk.

He saw her coming, so he wasn't surprised to see her, but raised an eyebrow as she approached nonetheless.

“Need some help?” she offered as she came to stand in front of him, knowing he was paying attention even though his back was to her as he lifted another chair.

Steve was smiling knowingly when he turned back around, and Natasha had to fight to keep her own grin down.

“I'm alright, but thank you, Natasha,” Steve responded loud enough for other staff to hear if they were listening, and in that professional, assertive voice that Natasha absolutely loved to hear.

“Alright, you caught me,” her voice dropped so only Steve could hear, “I just wanted to get a close up look of where all the action was happening,” she finished with a wink and pointed look towards his ass. It wasn't a lie, when she had first spotted him he was bending over and she smirked to herself before moving in his direction.

Now, Steve rolled his eyes even as a little smile appeared on his face, fighting a losing battle with the pink that dusted his cheeks. Natasha grinned victoriously and let out a little giggle when he fixed her with a half-hearted glare.

She didn't say anything more, though, and after a quick look around the room, stepped closer to Steve. When she fixed her gaze on him again, he looked oddly nervous.

He shifted his weight and looked up at her from under his long beautiful lashes that drew Natasha's attention until he quietly spoke.

“Hey, I want to take you somewhere, I mean, if you want to, of course.”

Her smile turned that mix of sneaky and knowing, and so bright Steve thought he might need sunglasses. It caused his own features to lift into an expression of nothing but happiness, especially as she responded, “I’d love to.”

Steve exhaled then. "Okay, great, great. My car? Or do you want to take yours?"

"Let’s take yours," Natasha responded, the grin on her face now a permanent fixture.

"Okay," he fished his key out of his pocket and glanced around quickly before stepping closer and placing it on the table just within her reach, brushing her hand as he moved back. "Why don't you head there when you're ready to go, and I'll join you as soon as I can."

“Mkay sounds good,” Natasha said, then paused. “Steve?” He looked up at her from where he had resumed stacking chairs. “Don't work too hard, wouldn't want you to use up all that arm strength on something so menial,” she winked and sent him that little mischievous grin, and sauntered away.

She stepped outside not much later, trying to get lost in the sea of students exiting the venue and succeeding, as she glanced around quickly before slipping away to the staff parking area. She unlocked Steve's car quietly, keeping her senses sharp just in case. She thought she remembered seeing everyone still back in the hall helping to break things down, but one could never be too careful. She exhaled in relief when she was able to open the door and hop inside without incident. She snuggled into the dark car, grabbing Steve's flannel from the back seat where she knew he always kept it and throwing it over herself before sliding down the seat to stay hidden from view.

* * *

 

Steve picked up his pace after that little exchange and joined Natasha in the car maybe twenty five minutes later. The most beautiful little smile Natasha had ever seen appeared on his face when his eyes took in how softly pretty she was, lying there with his flannel covering her and her eyes warm when she looked up at him. The recognition came over him that they were finally alone and that expression only intensified, making Natasha feel warm and comforted inside.

“Okay, buckle up. Hope you're up for a little late night surprise.” Steve broke the silence, excited to take Natasha to this special place.

Natasha grinned at him as she clicked her seatbelt into place and responded in a way that had Steve laughing and shaking his head in no time.

"Steven, my middle name is late night surprise."

A little over twenty minutes later, Steve pulled off the road and drove a little while longer until they stopped in a clearing. Natasha raised one eyebrow and Steve knew immediately what she was thinking. He rolled his eyes and huffed out a laugh, “no, Nat, I didn't bring you here because it's the perfect place to hide a body.”

She smirked at that and responded with a cheeky “if you say so.”

Steve just shook his head and squeezed her hand.

“Come on, I want to show you something,” he said before hopping out of the car and going round to her side to help her down.

He took her hand and wrapped his free arm around her shoulders, holding her close and trying to keep her warm at the same time. He pressed his face close to hers and whispered into her ear, “look up,” pointing his free hand towards the sky. She did as he instructed and gasped softly when her eyes took in the multitude of stars above them.

She leaned back into his embrace and exhaled into the night air, “its beautiful.”

Steve smiled against her skin and kissed her temple before unwrapping himself from her and, taking her hand, led her to the bed of the truck.

“Come here,” and she went willingly, still glancing up in awe every couple of seconds.

Her attention was rapidly dragged back to Steve, though, when he lifted her up and sat her on the bed of the truck in one motion. She would deny it if anyone ever asked, but she squeaked a little at his sudden action, and he chuckled at that before lifting himself up to sit beside her. Natasha may have gulped a little as his arm muscles bulged when he did that, but then he was next to her and their legs were swinging in sync, hanging over the back of the truck, and she felt suddenly like a young girl wanting over a perfect, amazing, but older man and she felt oddly nervous. It was as if her brain had forgotten she was in a relationship with Steve.. Steve who definitely picked up on her sudden change in behavior.

He turned to her and she looked away quickly, “hey, what's up?” he asked, voice laden with concern. “Nat..” he pressed when she didn't respond, only fidgeting with her hands, which he then clasped with his to get her attention.

That little bit of contact seemed to help, as they both felt her posture relax, so he went for more, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling himself closer to her so his chest was pressed against her side. She leaned into him, then, and let out a shaky breath, finally letting herself be comfortable again.

She pressed her face into his shoulder and relaxed fully as he gently ran his fingers through her hair. It was then, as she opened her eyes, looking behind him, that she noticed the blanket that she could've sworn hadn't been there before. No matter, it was perfect for the night. Afraid to completely break the peaceful silence that had fallen over them, she lightly squeezed his bicep to get his attention.

He turned towards her with a noncommittal “hmm?” And then noticed what she was looking at. He smiled, stroked her hair one last time and then released her so he could lean back and grab the blanket. He spread it out and laughed softly as Natasha immediately took to lying down. She patted the space next to her and he went willingly, a look in his eyes that rivaled the twinkle of the stars in the sky above them.

As soon as he was settled, he scooped her into his embrace so her head was resting on his chest, just above his steadily beating heart, her palm curled over his shoulder, fingers wandering across the skin from his cheek to the nape of his neck. Steve ran his palm down her arm to eventually wrap around her waist and felt her goosebumps for the first time. Slightly alarmed, he sat up and took off his jacket, somehow maneuvering lying back down and placing the jacket across her so she would stay warm.

Natasha, who was jostled from her comfortable position when he sat up, watched with an amused but appreciative expression as he took action, unable to control her small smile when she was covered with his suit jacket. She didn't say anything but as she settled back into her spot on his chest, stopped at his lips to give him a chaste kiss that expressed her gratitude for her. She was aware of his eyes on her as she nestled back in and so when she was settled, she leaned her head back enough so she could get a good look at him.

He was back to gazing at the sky and so she took the opportunity to simply look at him. He looked comfortable, hair a little mussed, clearly lost in thought as his eyes tracked across the vast sky, his arm tightening probably unconsciously where it was wrapped around her waist.  
She smiled to herself, her previous weird mood now almost completely gone as she basked in the feeling of his embrace and the wonder of the world above them. It was silent for a while, both of them enjoying being with each other and getting lost in the balls of gas burning on above them.

Eventually, Natasha’s quiet voice broke the silence as her curiosity got the better of her, “hey - what are you thinking about?”

Steve’s lips lifted into a half-smile as he tilted his head to glance down at Natasha. His grip tightened on her waist as if he was trying to pull her infinitesimally closer. When he answered, his voice was soft, and a little rough as though emotion was flooding him.

“My dad.” When Natasha said nothing for a few seconds he continued, grounded in her touch and presence, “he died when I was young, but, he always told me ‘look up at the stars, Steven, the ones who love you will always be watching over you, let their light guide you.’”

He was looking back up at the sky now. “Of course, I didn't really understand or care back then but when he passed, believing what he said was true was just about the only thing that kept me from losing a bit of myself. And now… now I just always think about him when I see the stars. I like to think he was right, and that he's up there still guiding me even though he might not be here anymore.”

Natasha was stunned into silence. This was the first time Steve had opened up about his dad and she'd never even really asked, but always had wondered where he was, since the only parent of his that he'd met was Sarah. So for him to be telling her this, she didn't quite know what to say, but she could empathize with him. Steve noticed her silence and shifted his head to glance back down at her, sliding his palm up and down her side as if silently asking what was going on in that head of hers.

She pressed closer to him and flicked her eyes up to meet his. "That's beautiful," she said in that so soft voice.

He could feel the hum of her voice and it warmed his soul, brought him out of the memories he'd gotten lost in. He shifted slightly and pressed a loving kiss to her hairline, maybe out of habit, maybe to encourage her, maybe to thank her for just being there.

Either way, it gave Natasha the last bit of comfort she needed to let the words flow out of her, feeling understood and emboldened by his own act of sharing. She looked at him at a moment longer and then back up to the sky, her voice quiet as she started speaking but gathering strength as she went on.

"I used to be able to see the stars from my bedroom, back in Russia. It was normally too cold to go out like this and spend time just looking at them but... I could see them, from my bedroom window. My dad," she took a moment to clear her throat from the lump that had suddenly appeared in it — "my dad would come to tuck me in and instead of finding me in bed," a reminiscent smile grew on her lips, "I would be sitting on top of my bookcase, the best view in the house, and he would never get mad but he would just kneel on the floor and tell me, 'Natalia, moya solynshka, you are far brighter than those little stars above. Now come, get to sleep so you can give them their turn to shine.’”

She was quiet again for a while, lost in the memory, and when she sniffled a little Steve squeezed her gently. It brought her out of her head and she laughed but it lacked any real amusement.

"Sorry, sorry. Guess I just.. miss them. I'd like to think your dad was right, that they're up there somewhere, watching over me. If they are, I... I hope I've been making them proud. I know I haven't probably made the most admirable decisions but I still.. I just want to prove them right."

Her voice sounded so small, so unsure, but simultaneously so hopeful and Steve wanted to do whatever he could for her.

"Natalia," his voice sounded, sharp and sure and commanding in a way that had her paying attention immediately. "Don't you doubt for a second that they would be proud of you. You are smart, kind, beautiful, wise beyond your years, caring, and absolutely full of potential. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know; the way you can understand and relate to anyone constantly has me in awe of you; your intelligence astounds me. It doesn't matter the job you've chosen, or even will choose, or that you.. you're dating me. Because you have this great possibility in front of you to do whatever you want, and that in itself is incredible. And if I'm right about your parents, from what you've told me, they would -- no, I'm sure they are incredibly happy with who you've become."

By the time he was finished, Natasha's eyes were filled to the brim with tears and then he looked straight through her eyes into her soul and uttered a simple and soft, "ok?" and the flood was released.

Steve immediately became worried and tried to soothe her, to see what was the matter, but Natasha only hid her face in his chest and let his gentle touch and tender voice wash over her. Eventually her tears subsided to sniffles and a few hiccups and she lifted her face, letting Steve see her so he would stop worrying. She wiped a few more tears from her eyes and laughed at herself before hitting Steve (but not too hard) and finally responding to him. "You always say the right things..."

Steve smiled in that way when he was both touched and a little embarrassed and very pleased with what she said, then shrugged it off like it was nothing. "Just being honest."

Natasha's expression was warm and undoubtedly fond as she responded, "you always are," and leaned over to kiss him.

When they pulled apart, Steve took a few seconds to get the air back in his lungs and noticed how chilly he'd become and realized she must be even colder and decided it was time for the night to come to an end, no matter how he wished it wouldn't.

"Come on," he sat up, keeping an arm around her waist to secure her, "I think it's high time I get you home. You ready?"

Natasha sighed and leaned into him, "ughh. No.”

She felt more than heard Steve's resounding laugh and it made her smile in turn.

"Well how bout this - I'll take you in, all the way in, and we'll meet tomorrow like usual."

He probably should've thought over what he was offering but he didn't want her to feel alone, especially now, and, really, he'd do anything for her.

"Well alright then. You make a convincing argument, Rogers."

He smiled wide like the big dork he was and Natasha finally stood and got back in the car, Steve joining her a moment later. She intertwined their fingers where they met in the middle and Steve smiled lovingly at her before driving away.

 

When they arrived back at her house, far too soon for both their tastes, Steve followed through on his promise and even beyond, carrying her up to and then through the door after she unlocked it. As soon as they entered, however, they were greeted by Ivan and her step-mom, looking as shocked as they probably both were.

But then Steve expertly covered, explaining "she had a bit of a rough night" while motioning to her clearly tear-streaked face. The couple stayed silent while Natasha put on her best sad face and burrowed further into Steve, then they nodded, and that was all Steve needed.

He carried her up the stairs and straight to her room, and was lucky that her step parents didn't care much since that meant they didn't continue watching them, or else they would've been suspicious of how he knew exactly where to go. He set her down on the bed gently and waited for a moment but Natasha did not seem to be in any hurry to move, so he set about grabbing some pajamas (a large t shirt which looked oddly familiar) and turned back to find her with the most subtle smirk on her face.

He couldn't help but smile and roll his eyes in return, even as he stepped to the bed and lifted the dress over her head when she raised her arms expectantly. He replaced it quickly with the t shirt and grabbed a makeup wipe from her nightstand, sitting next to her and wiping her face clean and probably staring a bit more than normal at her bare face. She was so stunning, and he was so, so lucky.

Apparently he was staring too long because she got that slightly insecure and guarded look on her face and asked, "what?"

Steve looked at her with an unreadable expression before shaking his head, "nothing.. just, sleep well.. have a good night, Nat. I l—"

"I know," Natasha interrupted with a soft smile. "Thank you for tonight," she said sincerely, squeezing his hand where it rested next to her side. He looked about ready to brush it off like nothing, as was his habit of doing, so she stopped him before he even started.

“Seriously, Steve. I... I know I haven't always admitted it but,” she spoke quietly, voice tight with emotion, “I miss my parents, a lot. And you — you've become... you're my family, Steve. All I've got. I can never thank you enough."

At that, Steve could think of nothing to do but lean down and kiss her, touched beyond what words could describe. When he looked back up at her, there was a sort of wild look in her eyes, as though she was frightened by something her own mind had concocted. “I don't want to lose you, too, Steve,” she confided in a whisper that betrayed her utter desperation.

Steve's heart tightened in his chest and he squeezed her arm where his hand was resting. “You won't, Nat. Never. You'll always have me.” His voice came out strained and rough, due to the emotion practically choking him. "Always," he punctuated with the press of his lips to her forehead. He paused for a moment and then, sounding stronger than ever, told her for the second time that night, “I love you.”

It was declared in a way that left no room for argument or doubt, his gaze filled with a focused passion, an adoration that made Natasha ache.

She smiled a little, though she was sure he could see the quiver of her lip and tears brimming in her eyes, and pulled him in for a tight hug, pressing her face into his chest and holding him as tightly as she physically could.

She finally relaxed against him and when Steve pulled back enough to get a good look at her, Natasha's expression was warm, in awe, and so completely open. Her hair had fallen out of her bun and he tucked the loose strands behind her ear before whispering, "goodnight solnyshka. Sleep well, my incredible girl."

He kissed her gently, causing a sigh to leave Natasha, then gave her one last meaningful look — an understanding, a statement and a promise all in one, and shut her light off on his way out once he saw her eyes flutter shut.

He nodded to her stepparents again before making his leave and spent the night dreaming of a future that looked awfully good, thanks to the woman he imagined to be by his side forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry it's been forever. I was almost finished with this way back at the beginning of November and then there was a shooting in my town and then fires and I had to evacuate and then I was gone for a week and then came back and work was crazy and then I've had holiday stuff and literally just yesterday got the chance to finish this
> 
> and I know those are excuses but I want you to know I have absolutely not forgotten about this. In fact, I thought about it every day, it just took me clearly a long time to get back into my groove. It is still slow-going and I don't want to make any promises on when the next will be out but I AM continuing this. absolutely. I love it and I love them and I love you and I'm taking some time off for the holidays so hopefully I'll be able to crank some good stuff out. 
> 
> thank you all from the bottom of my heart for sticking with this. I am so so grateful. I sincerely hope you're enjoying this.
> 
> PS - sorry this is so long - I didn't have the heart to split it  
> PPS - the song they dance to during prom is Quiet by EXES and you should absolutely totally listen to it. It is their relationship exactly and I get emotional no matter how many times I listen. LISTEN!!! make it your holiday gift to self.


	29. Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they say if you love someone, you should let them go

Natasha awoke late the next morning, fully rested and an unstoppable smile still on her face from her dream. It was so so good. She kept her eyes closed, still trying to hold on to the last tendrils of semi-consciousness and stay in that wonderful world.

She dreamt of a beautiful life, full of soft colors and autumn tones, freedom and joy. She could still remember the touch of arms around her waist as a gorgeous man lifted her and spun her around, still hear the echo of the giggle she let out from being in a state of pure happiness, still feel the warmth that bloomed inside her when his lips pressed against hers and he kissed her breathless.

They were in a homey environment, a small house from what she could remember. It may not have been big and glamorous, but it felt like enough, like something to be proud of. She remembered a pot of something delicious-smelling on the stove and being crowded from behind, a kiss being pressed to her neck after a door shut somewhere behind her.

The scene changed and she was being lifted over someone's shoulder, playfully kicking and screaming trying to get away, but to no avail as she was thrown on the couch and the man appeared over her, lowering to kiss her as she wrapped her arms around his neck, both smiling all the while.

The scene changed again — it was clear what this was. She was being carried through the front door in a simple off-white dress by the same man, face still slightly obscured, bridal-style, and she finally decided to open her eyes when that sense of absolute security came over her again. She might not have seen the man's face exactly, but she had a feeling she knew who it was or, at least, who she wanted him to be.

Her mind wandered with the possibilities for a few more minutes, a soft smile on her face that she didn't realize was there, until her phone buzzed on her nightstand. She turned, staying under the covers and reveling in that pleasant feeling as she sleepily grabbed her phone. The corners of her mouth lifted further when she saw who it was — speak of the devil — and even more when she read his message — _morning, beautiful_.

She quickly typed out a response, _morning :)_ and set her phone down to run her hands over her face and try to wake up fully. When it buzzed again she stopped her small stretches, giving up on getting ready for now because she knew this would turn out to be a full conversation. Steve never did anything half-heartedly, after all.

_Sleep well princess?_

_Very_ , she sent back, rolling her eyes before sending another text, _and I'm not a princess_.

_Mmm you might think so, but you are to me 😘_

She'd normally deny the blush that drifted up her cheeks, but with the way the last 24 hours had gone, she didn't even want to. So she replied honestly - _and you're my Prince Charming :)_

He quickly responded with a playful _more like Prince Philip, I like to think ;)_ and then another quick follow up - _anyway, I'm glad you slept okay. Sorry for keeping you out late last night :/_

_Don't be_ , she responded easily, _I had a really wonderful time. :) thank you again_

_Babe you don't have to thank me- you know I'd do anything for you. My very best girl <3_

And with that, Natasha decided to stop texting, and immediately pressed the call button. Steve picked up even before the first ring and greeted her with an amused-sounding, "yes Nat?"

She breathed out, "can you say it out loud?" It was wanting and needy and she knew it, was annoyed with herself a little, but really just wanted to hear him say it, in that deep voice of his that made her feel warm and breathless and like she was standing on the sun all at once.

Steve chuckled softly on the other end of the line and then did as she asked.

"My best girl," he repeated, the smolder and deep timbre of his voice doing to Natasha exactly what she knew it would.

Even as she sat there, basking in the warm glow coming from ten miles away and getting lost in her own short moment, she could recall the smile in his voice, genuine and filled with love (she was sure of this now that he'd told her), and she wanted more.

So she let the sensation flow over her and jumped into their conversation anew.

"Thanks," she started, voice soft and a bit shy before she thought of him sitting there, shirtless and hair messy from sleep, and smiled. "So what have you been up to this morning? Has it been good?"

"Better now that I'm talking to you," Steve didn't miss a beat and Natasha just had to laugh softly and fondly at that. "But yeah it's been okay. I've been up for a while.. had a dream that woke me up earlier than normal. But I don't mind — I woke up thinking how lucky I am to have you, how much better my life is now with you in it — and that's not a bad way to wake up I don't think."

Hearing Steve say that in such a casual tone, but absolutely sincere and real, as if it was the most regular thing in the world... it made Natasha's heart thud in her chest. Her throat constricted and her world flipped upside down for a split second because everything she'd previously believed was now untrue, because she knew — in that moment she was sure of it — she loved him.

And she was going to tell him, that very day. She smiled to herself in triumphant resolution and carried on.

"Well," her teasing voice sounded, "I'm glad you had such a nice morning. I honestly haven't even gotten out of bed yet. I might be coming over later than planned."

"Nat.." Steve whined, "I want to see you, though." She could practically see his pout and sad puppy dog eyes. "If I hang up will you please start getting ready?"

Oh and now he was pleading with her? Well, she did want to see him too..

"Fine, fine. I'm gonna go take a shower and I'll try to be over by 1."

Steve sighed on the other end, it was clearly too far a time away for his liking, but he accepted it. "Alright, I'll see you then. Enjoy your shower ... and think of me." Natasha could _hear_ when his face turned from slightly pouty to smirking with overconfidence.

"Mmm you wish," she teased back.

They said their goodbyes and Natasha did as she promised, finally leaving the comfort of her bed to get ready for the day.

* * *

She ran downstairs and scarfed down a bagel, then went back up and twenty five minutes later emerged from her bathroom, freshly showered and still warm. As she was throwing on a t shirt, the final piece of her outfit, her phone buzzed where it sat on her nightstand. Thinking it was Steve again, she picked it up and unlocked it, the message that came into focus as her eyes finally glanced at the screen one that rocked her world.

  
It was not Steve, but Brock Rumlow, and the message was not one she ever, ever wanted to see. She read it over and nearly dropped her phone in shock.

What stared back up at her was a picture, clearly blurry and not purposefully taken, but dangerous all the same. In it, she was backed into a corner, the side of her hair and dress the only thing distinguishable, a dark-blonde-haired man looming over her and leaning close to her face. She glanced at it again and felt a lump arise in her throat. It was Steve and her at prom, outside, hidden partly from the light but not completely.

The accompanying message helped clarify things but also scared Natasha half to death and caused her breathing to become labored as she read over it again.

_Morning beautiful_ , it started out, and that was where the niceties ended.  
_Bet you're wondering what this is and where I got it and why I sent it to you, well let me explain._

_I was going through videos from last night and swore I saw someone in the background, so I zoomed in and look at that, it's little ol' you! I'd know that hair anywhere_ (Natasha cursed her unique hair color not for the first time). _Looks like someone had fun last night ;)_

With tense fingers, just like every other muscle in her body, she tapped out a reply though she was deathly scared of the answer. _Why did you send this to me?_

_I'm glad you asked, the response came quickly. This is going to the whole school, unless we can work out an agreement._  
_If you don't want everyone finding out you have a secret boyfriend, you're going to give me every study guide you've made for finals and APs and help me study from now on, in public, where people might see us and think it's a date. And if they do, you're going to act like it is._

Natasha couldn't hold back the few tears that ran down her face. She was strong, but this terrified her. She was powerless here, and she hated the helpless way it made her feel, how she became frozen with fear.

Before she could respond, another text came in.

_And for the record, I'm pretty damn sure I know who it is._  
_Anyway, the choice is yours._

"Fuck," Natasha cursed in a whisper. There went her only hope for this impossible situation. She should've not gone, should've just stayed home with Steve, should've turned him down and not let his sweet words and pleading eyes convince her, because now look where they were. She was about to break his heart, and lose hers forever, leaving it right there with him.

Even though one of Brock's stipulations wasn't that she had to break up with said secret boyfriend, she knew it was what she had to do, for both their protection.

So when Steve texted her a minute later, asking if she had left yet, she let out a single sob and replied with shaky fingers that she would be there soon, tears falling on her phone as she wondered just when and how her life had gone so wrong. She thought about that dream she'd had last night and it was beautiful, yes, but it was just that — a dream.

She got up from the floor, took some deep but shaky breaths, looked in the mirror, wiped the tears from her face, and steeled herself. She brought back up that cold, indifferent, closed off person that seemed so far away now, because she knew she'd need it if she were to get through this without breaking completely.

She didn't bother bringing her books or backpack because she knew she wouldn't need any of it, she wasn't planning on staying. And when she took off for Steve's place, she was unable to stop her hands from shaking the entire way there, all the way up to his door.

She raised her hand to knock but paused briefly, remembering all the wonderful times they'd had there, and nearly turned away but forced herself to follow through, knocking twice before lowering her hand and her head.

The door opened and Steve stood there, confusion on his face turning to excitement at realizing it was Natasha who had knocked. "Nat! Love, you could've used your key, you know, but come in" he cheerfully greeted. She followed him in and waited for the moment when he turned back around, knowing once he did there would be no going back. Then it came.

Her eyes met his and at the way his posture and expression changed to something more sullen when he recognized her steely gaze, she nearly turned back, but she remembered that she loved him, and that was why she had to do this — for his sake. After all, all good things must come to an end.

"Steve—" _might as well just get to the point, rip it off like a band-aid, Romanoff_ , she told herself, then looked directly into his eyes, making sure to give none of her emotions away, and informed him, "I think we need to take a break."

The shock on Steve's face shone through clearly, in his wide eyes and slack jaw. "What?" his voice came out as a whisper and he was clearly as affected by it as she was as he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to reach out for her. She moved out of his grasp.

"Nat.. why?" Steve's eyes were large and pleading. "Is it because of what I said? That I l—"

She cut him off with a shake of her head. "I—" she hadn't really thought this far ahead, so she went with the first excuse that came to mind — "I just, I've had time to think and..it's wrong, Steve. It's not right and we both have known that, we were just enjoying it too much but I can't have you risking your career and I don't want to jeopardize my future."

It was a good argument, and Natasha knew it, that's why she went with it, but maybe it was too good, as Steve seemed to see the validity in it, as well. He took a few steps backwards, as if shoved by the force of it all, and sat on the edge of the couch when he reached it. His head dropped and he ran his hands over his face, a gesture Natasha recognized as frustration and confusion.

"Okay.. but Nat, where is this coming from? I mean," he exhaled heavily, "You were good. We were good," his voice broke a little at the end and Natasha's heart went right along with it. "Did someone say something to you?"

Natasha sighed, "no one said anything, Steve. This is just me. Okay? All me."

His eyes met hers and she was surprised by the fire blazing in them. "Then I don't understand!" His voice increased in volume and desperation, too, as it cracked under the force of his emotions. "Everything was fine! It was perfect! This isn't fair -- you have to tell me WHY."

"I'm ending things, Steve!" Now her voice was raised, too, and she cursed herself even as she continued — she really hadn't wanted things to get this way. "Just accept that! Maybe we just weren't meant to be together," her voice cracked and tears filled her eyes, her conviction faltering for the first time.

She ducked her head, trying to gain back control over her emotions and when she picked her head back up to look him in the eyes, he saw a desperate pleading stronger than he'd never seen before, which he felt even more as she spoke one last time in a voice so soft it burned him to his soul.

"Please, can't you just let me go?"

Steve's head dropped, the volume of his voice, too, and she knew he'd given in when his shoulders slumped and he took a steadying breath. "Of course, Nat," he surrendered, unable to meet her eyes at first. "If this is what you want, then of course." He lifted his gaze to meet hers and let every deep, strong, overwhelming emotion show through. "You know I'd do anything for you," he reminded her, voice soft and certain.

He reached out to touch her shoulder one last time with a gentility that didn't match the circumstances of the motion, and dropped it just as quickly when he felt her body tremble under his touch and she looked down again. She couldn't meet his eyes and it broke him even more to know that they wouldn't be able to have a proper goodbye.

But he meant what he said, he would always respect her wishes, and if this was one of them, then he would let her go, like the age-old saying went, even if it absolutely tore him apart inside to do so.

Natasha seemed satisfied with his answer as she inhaled and picked her head back up, that cold expression coming over her once again. She nodded once and gave him a last look before she spoke again.

"Goodbye, Steve."

It was said simply enough, but the weight of it hung over the room, bearing down on both of them, what it really meant. The end of all things.

Steve felt hot tears rising to his eyes and he refused to cry in front of her, so he clenched his jaw once, twice, and then calmly responded, "bye, Natasha."

He moved to the door and opened it, watching as she hesitated for a moment before turning and walking out, sparing him one last glance that would haunt him in his dreams for the next week (she looked apologetic, reminiscent, and like she was trying to send him a message all the same.. like she loved him).

As soon as the door was shut, Natasha felt her facade completely fall away — honestly she was surprised she'd held out for that long — and she ran to her car.

She barely made it to the driver's side handle before she broke down with a choked sob, a continuation of which would leave her voice hoarse tomorrow, tears rolling down her face over and over again for what she'd just shattered into pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
> Just know, this made me as depressed writing and editing as it probably made you reading so, know that we're in the same boat.


	30. Aching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it is sad to say,  
> but somewhere
> 
> between who we were  
> and who we are now
> 
> there's a lonely place...
> 
> where ghosts whisper  
> and relive
> 
> what we once had.
> 
> Damn.
> 
> \- r.m. drake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not much dialogue here
> 
> also, TW for some mentions of symptoms of depression

Monday morning came quickly and upon waking, Natasha decided she would not be going to school that day.  
She was annoyed with herself considering it was two weeks til finals and AP exams, but it didn't deter her - rather, only added to how awful she felt and how little she cared about her academic standing.

The situation, essentially, sucked. Brock Rumlow was terrible, yes, but what was worse was how Natasha hated herself. She wanted to blame Brock, logically knew that he was in part to blame, but couldn't stop berating herself for letting it even get that far, for agreeing to go and for not being stricter in enforcing their rules from the beginning. As far as Natasha was concerned, she alone was at fault for it all, for breaking Steve's heart and even for her own hurt.

And there was the other thing which kept her from going to school, the realization that she tried not to let into awareness, but slipped through anyway — Steve would be at school, and she just couldn't see him, not yet anyway.

  
When Steve first called out Natasha's name for roll and heard no response, he worried and his immediate reaction was to want to call her or rush over to her house to see if she was okay. He knew she would never voluntarily miss school. but then the events of the previous night came to back to him and all he felt then was that he really needed a drink.  
Unfortunately, he was at school, and there were no drinks around, so he went on with class and the rest of his day, all the while trying to ignore the knot in his stomach and weight in his chest.

  
After half the day had passed with Natasha barely moving from her bed, pillow damp with tears and at this point just lying numbly staring at the wall, she arose suddenly - in a panic. Eyes wide, she rushed around the room, quickly throwing on some clothes and putting her hair into a ponytail, grabbing her keys before rushing out the door.

Letting her brain flow, lying there, she'd suddenly remembered her things at Steve's apartment. She only had a few hours left in the day before he got home and she was going to use those to retrieve her belongings. She knew he would realize it later, remember that her stuff was still there, and use giving it back as an excuse to see her, and she couldn't let that happen.

So she let herself in, using the key she still had, and grabbed a large trash bag from under the sink to throw everything into. As she stepped further into the apartment, she tried not to let her mind wander to the beautiful times they'd shared there and how comfortable she always felt, like she was truly at home. She tried to just focus on packing, removing any trace that she'd ever been there, and leaving.

But the moment she stepped into his bedroom and inhaled, as she took it all in, she nearly fell back with the force of the emotion that came over her. It was the simple things — seeing his bed unmade, sweatshirt and pajama bottoms tossed lazily over the sheets, breathing in the scent that seemed to linger in the air of the room - it smelled like him, it _felt_ like him, and it was all too much.

She hurriedly took her clothes out of the drawer he'd made for her, then out of the laundry basket, out of his closet, and her items out of his bathroom. Once she had it all in her possession, practically ran out of there.

She got all the way to the front door before a singular tear escaped, sliding down her face and causing her to pause. She rested her forehead against the front door for a long moment before she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and walked out for the last time, sliding her key under the door after she locked up and not looking back.

She knew it would hurt him more to see that first thing when he got home, but she had to. She had to _protect_ him. And she knew if he saw the change, he would know it was really over, and he wouldn't come around asking questions or trying to return her things. It was better this way, there risk of being seen together was fully minimized.

* * *

When Steve got home from school, he immediately felt that something was amiss. And then when he unlocked his front door and saw the key sitting there on the floor in the entryway, he knew.

The door shut behind him and he fell to his knees, taking the little piece of metal in his hands and finally crying out for what had been lost. He'd let his anger take the forefront of his emotions that day and now he was home, being bombarded with memories of their relationship, and that strength, however incorrectly sourced it had been, was gone.

Curled up there in his entryway, knees and elbows digging into the hard floor, head buried in his hands, Steve didn't know if he was mad or sad or both but he found himself almost leaving consciousness with the sobs and cries of despair that seemed to take all his strength away.

When he did come back to himself, when he was able to pick himself up off the floor and do a walk-through of the apartment with nothing more than sniffles and shallow breathing, his suspicions were confirmed. He found no trace of her, like she'd never been there at all even though he _knew_ she had. It was driving him crazy and he knew he needed to distract himself or he would be dragged further down the rabbit hole.

He tried to relax and find something to watch, to numb his brain enough for him to be able to sleep, but nothing worked. He felt uncomfortable in his own skin; nothing felt good and definitely not right. Eventually he fell into a fitful sleep and found himself dreaming of her.

 

Steve pushed it aside on Monday in favor of giving into his own hurt, but on Tuesday when he called Natasha's name during roll call and again, was answered with silence, he began to worry. His mind raced with 'what ifs' - _what if she was truly gone and had left the city or something had happened?_ He may have been hurting, and maybe he wanted to hate her, but he couldn't. After all, love was not just a switch he could turn off; his concern was still there.

So at the end of class he called out, "Mr. Barton, if I could see you in my office at the end of the day?"

The teenager looked up and casually responded, "sure."

  
When Clint came to see him, Steve kept it casual, professional.

"I know you're close with Ms. Romanoff, and since she's been out, I was hoping you could bring her the material from yesterday and today. I know she doesn't like to miss school so whatever is keeping her, I'm sure she'd appreciate being able to keep up."

Clint accepted the small stack of papers. "Uh, sure..." He looked like he was trying to figure something out but then shook his head, seemingly choosing to forget about it. "I was actually going to see her today to see what's up - it is weird that she's missed two days of school, especially so close to the end - so yeah, anyway, I'll bring these."

Steve smiled but there wasn't much enthusiasm behind it, "great, thank you. That's all."

"Okay. Sure. Have a good night, Mr. Rogers," Clint replied and left before Steve could respond in kind, not that he really cared — he was too tired. He just hoped Clint would check on Natasha or help her if she needed it, and maybe even convince her to come back to school. He'd already promised himself not to bother her or be anything other than her teacher - distance being the key - and as such he wanted to make sure she wasn't falling behind this close to the end.

  
People always said to be careful what you wish for, and Steve really should've heeded their warning. For when Natasha finally did show up on Wednesday morning, Steve breathed a brief sigh of relief, but it ended there, as she appeared sullen, mind and heart most definitely not in it, and never lifted her gaze from the notebook in front of her. Where she used to linger until the last minute, she was now the first person out of the classroom, looking righteously angry and tense with her jaw clenched and eyes cold like he'd never seen before.

It was hard to see her, to even be in the same room with her. His heart positively _yearned_ to reach out to her, to talk to her, to even just share a meaningful look with her. And it broke him to pieces again to have her right in front of him, but to know none of that would happen, possibly ever again.

It went on like that for the rest of the week — Natasha would show up to class, but that was the extent of her involvement in her studies. The air surrounding them was one of indifference, pretend as it may have been, and a mutual attempt at appearing strong that came only from the immense pain each was in. It was not a situation any recently broken up couple should've had to go through, but unfortunately, it was unavoidable.

Perhaps the most painful part of it was the contrast between where they were at present to where they had been even just a few days ago. The building and especially that classroom held so many lovely memories, that they could both still feel in their very bones, as if it was just moments ago they had occurred.  
And that, that feeling and reminiscence, when compared to the circumstances now — not even on speaking terms or even _looking_ , only existing in the same space — it was nothing at all compared to before, and that realization just amplified the pain and made it even more difficult to get through each day.

  
Natasha, upon entering school Wednesday morning, instantly wished she had stayed home, had not let Clint convince her to come back. He'd made a convincing argument, worrying over her and when she gave up no information on what was wrong, he switched it up and took on the older-brother role all too well, telling her she needed to at least finish the year out, that she _had_ to go to school, she simply couldn't skip anymore.

She ultimately gave in because she knew he was right. Hell, she'd been thinking it herself since Monday when she'd made the decision to stay home, but she'd apparently just needed an outside push. So she told herself she would go, but she would just drift by. Her grades were high enough already and she would study the following week for exams. She would show up, but she would take the time she needed.

After her first day back, she was greatly regretting that decision. Not only did she feel even worse than before, after having to be in the classroom with Steve for an hour, but Brock had cornered her as she was leaving her locker after lunch.

He backed her into the wall of lockers, placing a threatening arm beside her and looking at her with a smugness and clear sense of ownership that she _hated_.

"Hey sweet thing," his disgusting voice had spoken, breath hitting her face and making her want to vomit. "Missed seeing you around the past couple days. Something got you upset?"

He sounded so confident, absolutely basking in his power over her, and she would punch him in the face if she wasn't so terrified of what he could do not just to her, but to Steve. Still, she smiled but with unmistakable venom in her eyes and responded, "everything's fine, thank you Rumlow," cleverly slipping out of his grasp, none too gently, either, before heading to her next class.

The rest of the day, she couldn't stop thinking about all of it — the way Steve looked utterly exhausted, all apparent enthusiasm lost; the way she hated herself more with every passing minute of his class, and still after; and if there were any potential ways to get out of Brock's blackmail with her life still intact.

_Fucking fuck can I just stop feeling for one second_ , she cursed her own mind sitting in Study Hall. She was tired of feeling so absolutely riddled with discomfort, guilt and sorrow and regret and helplessness and _heartache_.

By some miracle, her brain listened to her, and some minutes later she was able to take a deep breath and focus her energy on getting out of this mess, examining all possibilities to at least be free of Brock's control.

When the bell rang and she was finally able to leave, it felt like a weight had been lifted as she left the building - one of the first to do so. When she arrived home, she slammed all the doors and ran straight to her room, chest heaving when she reached it after taking the steps two at a time. She shut that door, too, and threw herself onto her bed, burying her face in the pillow and tried to let out a scream but all that came out was a few short whimpers.

She felt so _pathetic_ , she couldn't even control her outward emotions anymore, couldn't manipulate them — everything was too overloaded. She stayed there for a while, until she felt disgusted enough with herself to get up and change for work, not caring that her homework wouldn't get done ... not like it mattered anyway.

She had decided to go back to work more frequently now — may as well since there was no way else she could spend her time. It's not like she had anyone to keep her body for, her mind had supplied in a dark moment the day before. At least when she worked, or so she felt that night during her long shift, she could numb her mind for a while and focus on something else.

It was probably wrong and more than a little unhealthy, but Natasha made a concerted effort to turn her brain off so she wouldn't have to think about that, and it wasn't hard to do so when there were people touching her in ways she definitely didn't want to remember or dwell upon.

Before she knew it, her shift was over and the sun was coming up. She headed home to shower and get ready for another hideous day at school. Maybe at least she could try apologizing to Steve again. _Oh, god_. Even at the thought of him her heart squeezed violently in her chest and her whole body tightened in a mix of dread and longing. Nope, definitely not doing that. Strategy was still to avoid, then. _Jesus, everything hurt_ , she nearly cried at the pain in her heart.

She skipped breakfast again, couldn't even really remember the last time she ate, she just hadn't felt okay enough to try.. her stomach was too upset all the time. Oh well, she had coffee to sustain her, anyway. She took a gulp and headed out the door to face another day in her self-made hell.

Thursday was much the same as the previous day. Steve still looked as miserable as she felt, Brock was still a disgusting pain in her ass, Clint was still a little concerned, and Natasha still hated everything. But at the same time, that day was different — after her heightened emotion that morning, she hadn't really felt anything the rest of the day.

When she noticed, she shrugged, probably for the best anyway and not anything she wasn't used to from the past — she'd be back to normal in a couple days, maybe a week, max.

She wasn't too worried about it, but Steve noticed the dullness in her expression, how she just seemed to be drifting from day to day, and not for the first time wondered if she was feeling the same hurt he was. But then, again not for the first time, his pride got involved and his anger flared and that brief worry was forgotten about, pain taking over his rational functions.

That would turn out to last him the day and then he would go home and remember everything, and he would breakdown again. For the fourth day in a row, he nearly ripped a pillow in half with all the emotion running through him, though running over him was a better description of how it felt.

He just _missed her_ so much. He choked on another sob as he thought about that, as he recalled the feel of her skin under his fingertips, the sound of her voice as she ran her hands through his hair late at night, sharing pieces of themselves and creating a world of their own in the dark, with only the moon as witness.

A rush of wetness gathered in his eyes and he violently squeezed them shut, refusing to let the tears fall. He would not have another night of pain and suffering and absolute _despair_.

Staying in that apartment was pure agony, comparable to torture, but he always did have a bit of a masochistic side. So he curled up, let out a yelp at the utter wretchedness he felt inside, and screamed and growled into his pillow, clenching and unclenching the sheets until it was all out, leaving him empty, in the end.

Brain quiet, he finally got some rest.

 

Friday was there before either of them knew it, and it was actually kind of a testament to their respective personal strength that they'd made it this far without going totally insane.

Letting out all the emotion the previous night had finally worked for Steve, and he was able to actually deliver his lesson with a bit of passion, finding that filled the space left by, well, her.

He had a kind of realization upon waking that morning, and it set a tone of self-understanding and peace. He'd woken up thinking of her, and came to the undeniable, inevitable, sort of sad truth that he still loved her. There was no point in denying it, and he was comfortable living on with that knowledge. He still loved her, and he would respect her, and he wished her all the best. He would do anything to make her happy, whatever it took, even if that meant him being hurt, and perhaps that was the most heartbreaking part of it all.

Natasha, of course, noticed his newfound air of being _settled_ , and felt a bit of something rise up in her at the realization. She was relieved, maybe, if the wave of quietude that came over her meant anything. And she was sad, more truly and purely sad than she had yet been, because she hadn't wanted this to have to happen — hadn't ever wanted him to _have_ to get better or move on. She'd naively thought that they would tackle everything together and live happily ever after. _Ha_ , she scoffed at the thought and lifted her eyes to glance at him again. _Should've known, Natalia. True love is a fairytale, and in real life, there's no such thing as fairytales._

Steve looked like he'd finally gotten some rest, though, and she was glad to see that, glad he was taking care of himself. She hoped he would always be taken care of, even if she had wanted be the one to make sure of that. Oh well — she was beginning to be resigned to the reality of her situation. Maybe this was what unconditional love was — wanting him to be okay, to be in a good place in his life, even if it was without her.

It was an oddly comforting realization, and Natasha thought maybe it would help her, too. Maybe they'd both reached a turning point. Maybe the sad but glad feeling, her slightly sorrowful smile, caring for the other even through the pain, maybe all that would be their new normal.

  
As it turned out, she was wrong. And those feelings of well wishes and looking fondly from afar went right out the window at lunch time.

 

Steve had just stood up from his desk after his class ended, grabbing a few papers, and turned to head to his office when none other than his fellow teacher and admirer Kristen appeared in front of him. His eyes widened in surprise but no words came to him, so she smiled gently but there was a touch of something dangerous in it.

"Hey Steve," she greeted him.

"Uh, hi, Kristen. How are you?" Steve was polite, but seemed a bit like he didn't want to be there, and Kristen just had to remedy that.

She brushed him off with a wave of her hand. "Oh you know, same old me. But you, on the other hand... you seem down," she noted with a small frown. "Is everything okay?"

Steve sighed and looked away. "Yeah, my girlfriend broke up with me, so... you know," he said in a self-deprecating manner.

"I'm sorry." Kristen did look sad for him for a moment, when he looked back up at her. She really did, even as she placed a hand on his bicep and stepped closer, she did right up until her eyes changed - though Steve didn't notice because he wasn't looking, gaze focused on the floor again.

But he definitely noticed when she was suddenly in his space and whispering, "I can be a shoulder to cry on, if you want. Or maybe there's another way I can help make you feel better."

Finally, Steve's eyes flashed to hers, just before she closed the distance between them in a heated kiss.

 

It was by some horrible misfortune that Natasha happened to be walking by his classroom at that very moment. She noticed the open door and glanced inside, a simple force of habit, catching the two right in the middle of their very connected moment. She saw Steve's hand move up slightly, as if to reach out and touch Kristen's waist, and that was all she stayed long enough to witness. Bile rose up in her throat and she darted away, running faster than she ever had, out of the building and to her car.

Steve opened his eyes just in time to catch a flash of red hair passing by his door and immediately pulled away from Kristen. He'd gotten caught up in the feeling of mere connection, and told her as much when she made a protesting noise.

"I'm sorry, Kristen. I just don't think I'm ready for something else yet," he explained even though he logically knew he had nothing to be sorry for - she was the one who'd abruptly come onto him, after all.

Really, he should be scolding her, but it was no matter. Everything was up in flames anyway. So he made his apology and then made his escape, leaving her in his classroom to go lock himself in his office and curse the mess his life had become.

  
Natasha left school and went straight home, not caring that she was ditching, something she never thought she'd do in a million years. But then again, she never thought she'd date and then dump her teacher either, she thought bitterly.

As soon as she was in the door (after racing home at highly illegal speeds, feeling too shaky and wired to go slowly), she ran straight to her room and planted her face over the toilet, whole body lurching, causing her to empty to the contents of her stomach, only, there was nothing in her stomach, so she ended up pathetically dry-heaving and crying for a solid twenty minutes.

When it was finally over and she felt like she could breathe without wanting to explode, she turned to the floor and curled up in a ball, finally letting it all out. She must've cried for an hour, until she was out of air and hiccuping, but at least she was able to get herself off the bathroom floor and move to her bed. From the moment the first tear had fallen, she just let it all come over her, no strength left to fight her feelings or block the emotion with her sky-high walls.

Still, as she moved to the more comfortable bed, she couldn't stop the tears from continuously rolling down her cheeks, staining them and standing out in stark contrast to the redness of her skin. Her breathing had calmed for about ten minutes and she thought she would be able to bring herself out of it, but then that image flashed again in her mind and she was right back to the start - choking, gasping for air as she clutched the sheets, dampening them to no end with her tears. She hated herself, but she could feel nothing else besides the grief.

She was hyperventilating, dangerously on the brink of a panic attack, and then she had a breakthrough for a brief second, enough to realize exactly what was happening. She was _hurt_. For the first time, she was allowing herself to fully experience the emotional torment. She cursed herself for even feeling that way, to be upset, because she had absolutely no right — it was her own fault, after all — but it did nothing to diminish the actual pain she was feeling.

  
There was a commotion downstairs but she ignored it. She'd lost all track of time, only able to think on repeat, _look what you've done Natasha_ and _GOD it hurts, it hurts_. Another round of this was beginning when Clint burst into her room, looking so concerned it just caused another sob to rip from her chest, feeling sorry for causing him to feel that worried. _Just another thing she'd fucked up_ , her traitorous mind told her.

"Oh my god Nat! What happened?!" Clint practically shouted, eyes quickly scanning over her to make sure she wasn't physically hurt.

He breathed a small sigh of relief when he saw she wasn't, and then gingerly sat down next to her and lightly touched her arm. "What's wrong, Natty?"

The tenderly used nickname caused a fresh slew of tears to escape Natasha even as she sat up and tried to catch her breath a little, to explain.

"At — at school," the words came out in bursts, each time she was able to gasp for air.

"Yeah? School? That's why I'm here, Nat. You never miss, especially never ditch in the middle of the day," Clint offered, voice caring and unmistakably laced with confusion and concern.

Natasha got out the only thing she was feeling, the panicked response she'd defaulted to, "I can't! I can't, Clint. I can't be there. I can't go back there. I thought I could but I can't!"

His heart broke at the outright _despair_ in her voice, the misery and desperation clear in her tone and posture.

"Nat, please," he pleaded with her grasping her by the shoulders, " _please_ tell me what's going on. I just want to help you."

She hardly cared anymore about keeping the secret from him, and she felt bad enough as it was, so she told him. "Steve —" her voice broke on his name and Clint immediately had a feeling he knew where this was going.

She took a deep deep breath and continued, voice but a whisper. "We were together, Clint. It was perfect, and wonderful," a wistful smile appeared on her face and disappeared just as quickly as she spoke, sentences still broken up by little sobs which eventually subsided to sniffles.

"I thought I finally found it — love — what everyone talks about. I changed, I honestly thought our future was going to be together" her shoulders slumped, "and then I destroyed it."

She told him a bit about prom and a picture being out there, not mentioning any names. "And I know, I _know_ that means I don't have any right to be feeling this way but I do and it _hurts_ , Clint, it hurts so much." She whimpered and buried her face in his chest. He welcomed her with open arms, wrapping them around her and holding her close.

"Oh Nat, I'm so sorry, _pauchok_. I'm so sorry." He tried to comfort her, shushing her and rubbing her back. "But Nat I need you to tell me, just one more thing, I know, one more, okay?" he persuaded her when he heard her protesting noise. "What happened _today_ , to leave you like this?" He finally got out, and waited with bated breath for her answer.

He felt her shudder against him and held her tighter, in turn, trying to pass on some of his strength to her. When she replied, it was in a quiet, small voice, no more than a whisper, really.

"I saw him kissing someone else."

Clint had to tilt his ear down to hear her, but when he did, his heart hurt for her. "Fuck. Nat...."

"I know." She shrugged, "but I guess it's what I deserve," she spoke, voice only a bit louder.

"No, Natasha. Don't say that. Don't even _think_ that. You — _no one_ deserves that. I'm so damn sorry, Nat. This is downright _shitty_." She lifted her head and his gaze immediately turned sorrowful when he took in her appearance — she'd stopped crying, but her face was left red and puffy, tear tracks visible all the way down her neck.

She met his gaze and he watched as water rose to her eyes again. "Nat..." he whispered, worry overwhelming his tone, and that was all he had to do for the flood gates to be opened.

She hid her face by looking down the other way, but she couldn't hide her shaking frame and when Clint reached out a hand again, she whispered, voice cracking with each word, "so you see, why I can't go back. I'm just not strong enough." Another tear slipped out and she felt weak.

Clint sighed behind her. "Nat, you're plenty strong. But this is a situation no one could expect you to get through with a smile. No one could expect that from _anyone_. And I do understand. Just tell me, how can I help?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cried while writing this one. 
> 
> please let me know your thoughts. thank you for reading <3 I promise it'll get better soon (:


	31. Mending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things will get better

Natasha's doorbell rang and she went to get it, though her movements were sluggish, a consequence of not moving, eating or drinking much over the past few days. A familiar and comforting face greeted her and let a little bit of sunshine into her dark day as she was reminded of her great appreciation for the friend in front of her.

"Hey! I gotta run to archery practice but here's the rest of your books and a list of everything from today. I'll scan and email all my notes when I get back later.... Nat, you don't look like you're taking care of yourself. What was our deal?"

Natasha looked away from Clint, turning her gaze to the ground, and shrugged, answering quietly, "you cover for me at school and bring me what I need and I try to get out of my 'slump.'" Air quotes were used around the last word as that was Clint's exact description of her attitude a few days prior.

After he'd paid her a visit on Friday and she broke down in his presence, he stayed with her and talked everything out until she finally told him what he could do to help her — that's all he'd really wanted.

Clint was the absolute best friend, Natasha was sure of it. She didn't know how she got quite so lucky. She'd eventually answered him and told him she only wanted him to help keep her from falling behind in school, and by some stroke of good fortune, he'd agreed.

He decided to accomplish that task by bringing some of her books over once school started again on Monday, and the rest on Tuesday, evidenced by his dropping them on her kitchen counter right then.

Natasha was decidedly not going to school until she felt strong enough, and Clint had understood that. He told her she'd been good all her life, doing the 'right' thing even when it didn't benefit her, and she deserved to take this time for herself.

In saying that and agreeing to help her in that way, Clint had been hoping she would take the time to try to rise from the downward spiral she was clearly in, but looking at her then, it didn't seem like she had.

As he left her house, after making her promise to take a bath and eat something and get to bed at a decent hour, the internal debate that had been going on since Friday surfaced again — whether to do something with the information he'd learned, or leave it, like Natasha had asked - practically begged, really.

_At her silent response to his question, he pushed again, still careful, though. "Come on Nat, why don't we start with this picture thing you were talking about... You said someone sent it to you, so you must know who it is. Maybe I can talk to them and work out a way to get them to delete it or, I don't know, something, so at least you're not dealing with that anymore.."_

_Natasha sighed, and then told him everything. She figured it wouldn't help to keep it to herself anyway; she hadn't been able to find a solution, so maybe Clint could._

_"It was Brock. He, he just texted me the morning after prom with this picture saying he would send it to the whole school and tell everyone about my secret boyfriend unless I agreed to his plan and — and.. I don't think he knew it was Steve but he said he had an idea who it was and I just got so terrified so I agreed and then immediately broke up with Steve because I thought it would protect him from any more suspicion and risk and, I ruined everything. ...God, I fucked up, Clint." Her voice was soft, reminiscent and full of self-loathing as she finished sharing the story with him._

_"Jesus, Nat," Clint’s response came after a second, voice full of disbelief and shock, accompanied by a tighter arm around her shoulders, "that's_ awful _! I don't know how you haven't gone completely bonkers yet — I would've gone nuts on him, I still might.." he scoffed out loud but the rest of his sentence was cut off by Natasha's frantic response._

_"No!! No, please Clint, you can't do anything. It'll just make it so much worse. Seriously — you can't even say anything. He can't know that I told anyone, please," her eyes begged and pleaded with him and though it went against every protective fiber of his being, he agreed, not liking the fearful expression on his best friend's face._

Thus, how Clint ended up in this predicament. He didn't want to make anything worse for Natasha, but he thought he'd figured out a way to help her without doing that. However, he wasn't completely sure. And that's where the indecision stemmed from.

When he was in Mr. Rogers' class on Monday, the debate came back full force, and it hadn't dwindled much since then. On the drive to practice after leaving her house that Tuesday afternoon, he deliberated more — should he tell Mr. Rogers?

See, on Friday, after making his promise, he'd told himself that he would keep the information to himself and decide what to do with it later. If Natasha was doing better, he'd keep it secret, since there would be no need to implement his idea. If she wasn't, he would further consider his idea and create a full plan to share the information if necessary. And now day 2 of the school week was done and she was still home, and she appeared to have made no progress, not that he blamed her.

Still, the inner conflict continued. Though the closer he got to the range, the more decided he became.  
And when he walked into class on Wednesday morning and Natasha still wasn't there, his mind was made up.

After Mr. Rogers' class, he approached his teacher, a bit nervous but once Mr. Rogers looked up at him, asked "How can I help you, Clint?" and Clint asked for an appointment after school, there was no turning back.

He would be going against her request, but he saw down she was, how she didn't seem to be getting any better, and this was the only real way he could think of to possibly fix everything in one go. It was for her own good.

  
He had to talk himself back into it several times that day, but soon enough the bell had rung and Clint found himself standing in front of Mr. Rogers' office, nerves eating at him, knowing the next few minutes could release a whole Pandora's box into their little world. He shook himself out of it and knocked, strong and sure, any hesitation disappearing as soon as he thought of Natasha's current state.

Then the door opened and Mr. Rogers ushered him in politely - his smile, Clint noticed, not quite reaching his eyes. "So what can I do for you, Clint?" Mr. Rogers asked as the door shut behind them.

Clint waited until it was completely shut before he responded, jumping right into it.

"Look, Mr. Rogers, I don't even totally like this, but Nat has been really down, and I'm her best friend, so I'm here to tell you something but you can't do anything stupid, okay?"

He looked to his teacher for agreement and found him staring with wide, surprised eyes. He waited, and then Mr. Rogers blinked and nodded, not yet able to find words.

"She only broke up with you because of some picture Brock sent her of you guys at prom. She's just been trying to protect you this whole time. And —" his anger started to get the best of him, he was going to tell Mr. Rogers off for kissing someone else but he remembered that he didn't know the full story then, and deflated a bit. "— And she asked me not to tell anyone, but I thought you should know."

Steve's mind jumpstarted and was now going a mile a minute, whirring with a commotion of thoughts firing at him from every direction. Distractedly, he remembered that Clint was still standing there, probably very uncomfortable with the whole thing but doing it anyway, for Natasha.

"Okay," he cleared his throat. His tone was sincere as he continued, "thank you, for telling me. I'm glad she has you as a friend."

Clint nodded once, shifted his weight, and then, feeling the finality of the conversation, made his leave, hoping with all his heart he'd just made the right decision.

As soon as Clint left, Steve swiftly gathered up his things and headed out, as well — only one destination in mind.

* * *

Natasha moved to the door soon after she heard knocking, which was rather incessant, assuming it was Clint. She swung it open lazily and began to speak, and when she looked up, her breath caught in her throat and her heart tightened almost painfully in her chest.

Steve was standing in front of her, looking breathless and like the world had just turned upside down. As she looked him over, she noted that he looked only slightly better than the last time she'd seen him at school, and felt another pang of guilt. That prompted her to come back to her senses and as she remembered everything, she hissed out, "what are you doing here?"

Steve was slightly taken aback at the anger flaring in her eyes but then saw a hint of fear behind it and blurted out, "I know."

Natasha gasped softly and her eyes widened just slightly before she took a quick look around the neighborhood then grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. "Come inside, you shouldn't even be here," she muttered in exasperation.

As soon as the door was shut, Natasha turned to face away from Steve and ran a hand through her hair. This was definitely not what she was expecting on her previously dull Wednesday.

She took a moment to gather her wits about her and Steve waited patiently, somehow feeling scrutinized and nervous in his own right, evident in his constant shifting of weight from one foot to the other.

Finally, she turned around, and his gaze softened almost immediately. His hand twitched like he wanted to reach out and hold her, but he stopped himself, knowing this was definitely not the time. They had a lot to talk about.

"What, exactly, do you think you know?" Natasha spoke first.

Steve sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I know about the picture," his voice came out softer, quieter, shyer than anticipated and though his words should've been alarming, Natasha was comforted by just the tone of his voice.

She ran a hand across her forehead and seemed to come to a decision. She gestured to the couch, "let's talk."

Natasha sat down on the opposite end of the couch from Steve, trying to put as much distance between them as possible, as she knew she would be unable to handle the feelings already attacking her when coupled with being physically close to him again.

She also spoke first. "How do you know?" She had a feeling she knew, and she would have a nice long chat with Clint later, but she wanted to hear the truth coming from Steve. It would set the tone for the rest of the conversation.

"Well, you can't get mad at him, but ... Clint came and talked to me," Steve admitted.

She squeezed her eyes shut in annoyance, but forced herself to breath. "Okay. So why are you here?"

The way she looked at him then tugged at Steve's heart so strongly he swore he physically felt it. She looked like she wanted to be unattached, indifferent, even annoyed, but behind all of that was a small part of her that pleaded with him to tell her what she truly wanted to hear.

So he did. He inched closer, taking the fact that she didn't flinch or move away as a good sign, though she did look at the space between them with uncertainty before meeting his eyes again. He reached forward and tentatively set his hand close to hers, just brushing their fingers together. "I want to help," he murmured.

Natasha's throat constricted along with her heart - it seemed her whole body had a reaction to those few words. Tears unexpectedly pricked at her eyes as she felt her carefully constructed walls cracking, concrete turning to rubble bit by bit.

She inhaled shakily and on the exhale asked just one question — "how?"

Steve jumped at the opportunity, thanking every god above that she was at least giving him a chance.

"So, hear me out, okay? It might sound dumb at first but I think there's a simple solution, and if you disagree, or you think of something else — we can come up with a plan together, okay?"

"'Kay," she responded quietly. Still, he looked into her eyes to make sure she really understood, was really listening, and upon finding her staring attentively back at him, he began.

"We tell the principal."

At the sight of Natasha's eyes nearly bugging out of her face, he placed a hand just above her knee and explained further. "I know, it sounds crazy, but — let me see the picture."

He turned up his palm and she quickly pulled up the conversation with Brock and deposited her phone into Steve's hand. His eyes flashed with something dangerous for a moment as he glanced over the text messages, but then he tapped to open the photo fully and his gaze focused, examining it closely.

After a minute of careful scrutiny, Steve handed the phone back to Natasha. "Yeah, you can't even tell that's me."

"Steve," Natasha argued almost immediately, "the connection could easily be made! We can't take it to the principal. Why do you think I gave into Brock and — ended things with you?! It's too much of a risk to have this see the light of day. If people saw it.." she dropped her face into her hands and when she looked back up, her voice had softened immensely. "If people saw this, Steve, you could get in so much trouble..." she trailed off.

Steve felt his heart shatter anew. She truly did do it all to keep him safe. The tenderness he felt prompted him to scoot closer and he gently lifted her chin to look at him.

The pain and fear in those beautiful green eyes went right to his core and he felt his love for her multiply, something he never thought possible.

And when he spoke, his voice was gentle, caring, thick with so much emotion that all he could get out was a whisper. "Nat... oh sweet, sweet girl... _thank you_ , thank you for always looking out for me. I promise you there's a way out of this — there has to be."

There was a silent pause as Natasha cast her gaze down. "I want to believe you, but.."

"Listen," Steve cut her off, feeling confident in his idea and not wanting her to feel any more trepidation, "I know you think it's too much of a risk, that it does look enough like me, but here's what I think - if I'm the one bringing it up, he'll never suspect that it's me, because think about it, like you even said — if it was me, wouldn't I be trying my hardest to not let that see the light of day?"

As he posed the question he could see Natasha's mind beginning to understand his point, to agree.

She added her own idea next, a turn of events that had Steve internally jumping for joy. "Okay... I think I get what you're saying, but just to take an extra step of precaution, maybe I need to come with you. I think, if Principal Fury sees how.. how scared I am, he'd maybe look even less and just pay attention to the blackmail part of it," she suggested.

"That is a very smart idea, Nat," Steve praised, then his voice became more wary. "As long as you're feeling up to it.."

Natasha nodded. "I might not be fully, but I can get over it to accomplish this. I'd do anything to get out of this hell."

"Okay, then," Steve blew out a breath, "I think we have a plan. But you let me know the _second_ you feel uncomfortable or at the slightest sight of danger, okay? Because I trust you to recognize that more than me."

At that, Natasha's lips lifted into the smallest hint of a smile and Steve's eyes shone. "And, after this works, because it _will_ , we, well if you want to, we could be together again, I think. But you don't have to, at all," he rushed to set straight, "It's up to you. No pressure, no obligations, it'll be your decision as a recently freed woman," he finished with a lopsided grin.

Natasha smiled, then, at that thought, and gave him a brief but sincere response. "Thanks, Steve."

They held each other's gazes for an unexpectedly long amount of time, until the moment was broken by Natasha suddenly moving close to Steve and wrapping her arms tightly around him. Steve's arms automatically came to wrap around her, holding her close, and they both sighed into the touch. They felt more complete, more at home than they had for the last several days.

"It's gonna work, Nat," Steve reassured her, chin moving on top of her head.

Natasha pulled back but kept her eyes on him. "I know it is. Because I don't know what I'm gonna do if it doesn't," she answered pensively.

Steve couldn't take the solemn expression on her face so he pulled her in for another hug, trying to convey all his confidence and emotion in his firm, secure embrace.

It was short-lived, though, as Natasha pulled away and cleared her throat, unable to look him in the eye as her guilt came back with a vengeance.

"Well, I guess I gotta get started on catching up now if I'm going back to school tomorrow.."

Steve took that for the dismissal that it was and stood, accepting it with grace, feeling thankful he'd even gotten that far with her. He gently squeezed her shoulder and bid her adieu with a fondly reminiscent smile, a "best of luck," and promises and reassurances that everything would be better the next day.

* * *

Natasha awoke the following morning feeling nervous, yes, but also calmer and, truthfully, more okay than she had in days. She got ready for school while mentally preparing herself for the potential battle ahead, and felt grounded in the knowledge that she still had Steve, and Clint, on her side.

As soon as the lunch bell rang, Natasha moved not towards the cafeteria, but to the administration building where Steve had apparently requested an appointment with Principal Fury.

Her stomach was in knots on the way there but as soon as she stepped through the doors and spotted him, hands in his pockets and rocking back and forth on his feet, those nerves disappeared. She felt... hopeful, a feeling recently so rare she almost couldn't distinguish it.

As he stepped up to her, Steve's name was called out and he motioned for her to follow him down a narrow hallway, stopping at the end, in front of what she assumed was Principal Fury's office.

The nerves came back a bit and she wrung her hands together, looking down at the floor just as the door opened and there stood the man with all the power - Nick Fury himself.

"Rogers, and .. Ms. Romanoff," his gruff voice greeted, slightly confused at the appearance of his valedictorian.

"Nick," Steve returned, voice conveying the seriousness of the matter that was soon to be discussed.

Principal Fury ushered them in and Steve gently moved Natasha forward with a hand hovering over the small of her back.

Once they were sat, Fury asked, "so what's this all about?"

Steve exhaled. "Well, sir, I believe we have quite a serious situation on our hands." He looked at Natasha to see if she was going to add anything but upon finding her silent, he continued, following along with their plan. "I'll get right to it — Brock Rumlow is blackmailing Ms. Romanoff."

It was silent for a beat and Natasha finally lifted her gaze, glancing between the men with a mostly-genuine frightened, vulnerable expression.

Fury arched an eyebrow. "That is a serious allegation, Rogers, especially involving a student. What evidence do you have?"

Steve looked to Natasha, who scrambled to pull out her phone and open the messages Brock had sent her. She placed it on the desk, sliding it towards Principal Fury, and felt her strength, her sense of justice returning.

"He sent me those the morning after prom," she explained and watched Principal Fury read over the messages, eyes widening minutely as he took in the threats Rumlow had made.

When he finished reading and examining the picture, he handed the phone back to Natasha. "Thank you," he addressed her directly, then both of them. "Now, there's no doubt that this language is threatening in nature, but I do have some questions I need to ask before any disciplinary steps can be taken."

Natasha swallowed, but nodded her consent; Fury jumped right in.

"When he says he thinks who knows who it is, Ms. Romanoff, I have to ask — who is it? Because he is clearly being threatened by this as well and —"

"I've dealt with it, Sir," Natasha cut him off, knowing where he was going.

Fury gave her a look, "and that may be true, but I think it's best if we—"

"With all due respect Sir," Steve cut in, not able to handle the interrogation any longer, "if Ms. Romanoff wishes to keep her relationship private, that's her prerogative. The issue at hand is Rumlow blackmailing a fellow student and making demands that border on sexual harassment — at the _very_ least, involuntary physical action."

Fury seemed to consider Steve for a moment, thinking over his argument, and then, at long last, nodded slowly in acquiescence.

"Very well. I apologize, Natasha," Fury said when he spoke again. She responded with a small-sounding "it's okay" and Fury continued.

"I want you to know I personally take this very seriously, and actions will be taken immediately to rectify this. In the meantime, please take the time you need and let me know directly if you need anything - deadlines moved, personal counseling, anything." Natasha nodded her understanding. "You're very brave for putting up with this, I hope you know that," Fury finished, voice more caring and sincere than she would've ever expected.

She looked up, wanting to make eye contact. "Thank you, Principal Fury," she replied with the utmost sincerity before standing with Steve to make their leave.

Fury nodded casually and Natasha found his sudden change in demeanor amusing, grinning to herself as she walked out the door.

Steve made to follow her but was stopped by Fury's calling out his name, "Rogers."

He turned back around, "sir?"

"Take a seat," Fury motioned with his hand while writing a note with his other. Steve took the opportunity to glance at Natasha and told her with a single look to go, not to wait up for him. When she was gone, he turned back to face Fury, meeting his gaze just as he looked up from his pad of paper.

"I wanted to thank you for bringing this to my attention," Fury began.

Steve nodded, "of course. I knew something must've been wrong when Natasha missed more than one day of school."

They both chuckled. "Good thinking," Fury admitted, followed by a brief silence until he spoke again. "She clearly trusts you, so, keep an eye on her, will you?"

Steve was slightly taken aback at the request - he'd never seen Fury show so much concern for a student.

"She's been through a lot in her life, and I don't want her to quit when she's made it so far, when she's so close to a huge accomplishment" Fury explained further.

Steve nodded a few times. "Yes, sir."

"Thank you," Fury replied, then it was back to business as usual. "That's all, shut the door on your way out."

Steve stood immediately and headed out the door, still processing everything but also internally jumping for joy.

He found Natasha waiting for him outside his office and smiled brightly when she looked up at him.

"All good?" she asked, apprehensive after Steve was called back to Fury's office while she was let go.

Steve sensed this, and adjusted his facial expression and tone of voice to be calm, to let her know there was nothing to worry about. "Yeah," his smile was one of relief and it spread to Natasha, too.

She nodded and shifted her weight. "Want to come in?" Steve offered, motioning to the door that he needed to unlock.

Natasha moved out of his way and considered his offer for a brief moment before shaking her head softly and shifting her gaze to the floor. "No, uh, I should probably get to the library but, thank you, though."

"Oh," Steve faltered for a moment, "okay. Well, let me know if you need anything. Um, yeah. Alright, see you," he stammered out before sliding into his office and closing the door again after flashing Natasha another smile.

Natasha turned and scuffed her toe against the floor before finally taking her leave and going to the library to catch up on more school work. She wanted to follow Steve and talk like they used to, but she was still having hang-ups about being seen together in anything other than a strictly professional capacity. That, and she was still shaken by seeing him kissing Kristen.

Of course, with all this on her mind, she did not end up getting much work done in the library, but instead thinking about him, about them. She did trust him, her faith in him was enough to cast doubt on his participation in the kiss, but still, she decided it probably required a conversation.

By the time lunch was over, she'd finished only one worksheet but had come to some decisions regarding Steve, so she counted that as progress.

The rest of the day, in the rest of her classes, Natasha finally started feeling a bit like her old self - a top participant in class, knowledgeable, and most importantly, strong. She would talk with Steve, set everything straight, and then make her decision, taking advantage of the time and space he'd allowed her.

Just before the final bell rang, end-of-day announcements were made, and the last one was a request for Brock Rumlow to go to the Principal's office before leaving for the day. Natasha and Steve, apart as they were in their physical locations, both looked up in surprise and barely concealed joy. They didn't expect action to be taken so quickly, but they were definitely not complaining.

 

When Natasha got home, sure enough, she found an email sent to both her and Steve from Principal Fury, informing them that Rumlow had been expelled, and reminding them both to please come to him with any future needs.

She inhaled, letting the feeling of freedom flow over her and allowing herself to really smile for the first time since all this happened. Of course, then Steve texted her - _got the email?_ \- and her smile softened.

_Yeah :)_ she replied, following that text up quickly with another. _Thank you for helping me._

His response warmed her from the inside out, _always, Nat_.

She was going to wait a day or two to do this, but she knew she wouldn't be able to successfully get any school work done if she didn't address this more important issue first.

_Is there somewhere we can meet? We need to talk_

As soon as she sent it, she cursed herself for using those words because she knew they'd instantly invoke his anxiety, and sure enough, she received a nervous response.

_Uh, yeah. Of course. Do you want to come over?_

_Or - no. Sorry, stupid idea._ He immediately followed his own text.

_No, it's okay. Would you be willing to come here?_ Natasha offered, not wanting to go there for the memories it held but ... in the comfort of her own home, where they'd spent less time together, she thought she'd be okay with that.

_If you're sure.. yeah, I can come now? Or later...whatever you want_ was his uncertain reply.

_Now's fine_ , Natasha sent back.

_Okay, then I'll see you soon._

_Yep, see you soon_ , Natasha responded, not knowing what else to say, until she remembered something important - _oh, and if you can, take the car.. don't want people recognizing the bike_

_You got it 👍_ Steve acquiesced.

_Thanks_ , Natasha sent a quick response and then left to go prepare herself by going over what she wanted to talk about, what she wanted to say to him.

Ten minutes later she was ushering him in the door, internally pleased when she took note of his baseball cap - at least he'd made an effort to go incognito.

She played the polite host, thanking him for coming and offering him something to drink, which he gently refused, before ushering him to the couch for their 'talk.'

It was silent for a moment as Steve didn't know what to say, since he didn't know exactly what she wanted to talk about, and Natasha was gathering her courage to be the one to start the conversation.

A few moments passed, and then she was ready.

"So you're probably wondering why I asked you here.." she shifted on her couch cushion. "I, well, I feel like I owe you an explanation for everything. I mean, I know Clint told you about the picture and Brock, but I wanted to explain the whole thing."

He just nodded, remaining silent, seeing how strongly she felt the need to do this, and letting her.

She took a deep breath, and told him everything.

"I want you to know that it wasn't like I had it the whole time that morning; I didn't already have that in mind when I told you I would be over later. I genuinely had planned on spending the day with you. The picture came while I was getting ready and I thought it was you, but obviously it wasn't, and I just got so scared so I agreed to everything and, then," she cleared her throat and looked away from him, "broke up with you. I know I should've just come to you and I'm really sorry, but, at the time... I thought it was for your own good. I was afraid that if we stayed together, Brock would somehow find out and expose us and you would at best get fired, at worst be.. completely ruined. And I let that rule over me."

Steve had figured as much, and though the break-up hurt, he did understand.

"And then at school it was just all a little too much, and I know it all could've been avoided if I'd just told you in the first place, and again I'm so sorry for that, for lying, but I guess.. I just wanted you to know why I did everything, so you would know that I didn't _want_ to end things between us. I only did it because I was trying to keep you safe, and I'm sorry for everything."

Another thought seemed to come into her mind and she continued speaking her thoughts. "And I know you said once this was all over we could be together again but, I don't want you just saying that for my sake, Steve. If you moved on, with someone closer to your age and your profession and lifestyle, I understand. Please don't feel like you need to propose something if it's not actually what you want."

Steve was preparing to give her some big speech, she could tell by the way his shoulders had rolled back and jaw tightened, but it was all replaced by confusion at the last minute and instead his response was much more concise.

"I understand, Nat, all of it. You don't need to apologize for anything... the situation you were put in was... awful. And I do wish you would've come to me sooner, if only so you wouldn't have to go through so much suffering the last two weeks, but you don't need to apologize for that. Now, as for moving on... what are you talking about? I would never offer something I didn't want. I'm honest, you know that.."

He sounded genuinely confused and Natasha sighed at the realization that she would have to spell it out for him. She looked down at where she was fidgeting with her hands in her lap and told him softly, "I saw you and Kristen last Friday."

"Wha — last Friday?" Steve still seemed lost. "I don't... ohh, oh!" His expression changed as realization came over him and then again as it was replaced with dread. "Oh god, it _was_ you. Oh sweetheart," a bolt of electricity shot through her body at the familiar pet name and then there were chills all over as he took her hands in his own, "no. There is absolutely nothing between me and Kristen. You don't need to worry about that."

She made a small noise, a little doubtful and maybe even self-deprecating, and he grasped her face with both his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes. Her own pupils widened minutely at the intensity she found there. When he spoke, his voice was certain and left no room for questions or skepticism — "I love you. That has not and will never change, Natasha. _You_ , I love _you_."

He spoke with such confidence that it made its way into Natasha, too, and really she hadn't planned for this when she asked him over tonight. She was going to take her time, like he'd instructed, was going to give herself some space to really think about it ... but there was no point.

She placed a hand over his where it rested against her cheek, her fingers just brushing his skin, and checked in with him again. Finding his gaze laser-focused and so, so sure, she leaned forward just enough so their foreheads were pressed together, leaving just enough space for their breath to mingle but not meeting his lips just yet.

She felt his long eyelashes flutter closed against her skin and that was it — she closed the distance and brushed their lips together in the most precious, chaste, _defiant_ kiss they'd both ever experienced.

It seemed to last forever, the two of them pressed together there on her couch, re-connecting and re-kindling the most beautiful thing they'd ever taken part in. That kiss spoke more than words ever could and neither wanted to pull away, frozen in time and forgetting about everything except each other.

It was the kind of thing poets wrote about and singers sang about; and when Steve pulled away to get some air back into his lungs, Natasha couldn't resist following him and pressing another kiss to the corner of his mouth, then his cheek, his nose, and his palm where it came to cradle her jaw.

Smiles came unbidden onto both their faces, the feeling so recently unfamiliar that it brought tears to both their eyes to be feeling it again. And then, as if he just couldn't stop himself, Steve whispered "I love you" into Natasha's lips and surged forward again, this time their smiles were felt through the kiss.

She was the one to pull away that time, feeling the urgent need to tell him something. She moved far enough back that she could let her gaze move over his face and then informed him, "I want to be together."

Steve's smile grew and his eyes positively danced with joy. Natasha couldn't stop a breathy laugh from escaping her, amused at how pointless that statement was — _as if her actions hadn't already spoken for her_.

Steve ran his palm down her arm until he reached her hand, and then laced their fingers together, squeezing in that way he did to tell her something without words. It was a practiced, tried and true method of communication, and it was another thing Natasha had sorely missed. Thinking of that brought her back to reality and she squeezed back before speaking aloud.

"I really am sorry, Steve." She'd felt guilty for breaking his heart since before she'd even actually done it. But Steve was having none of it.

"Don't worry about it," he waved her off with a disarming smile. "I have you back now," he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and peered through her eyes into her very soul, "and that's all that matters, _moya solnyshka_ ," he added with an affectionate grin.

"Now let's leave it at that, okay? Leave it in the past, and if anything like this ever happens again, please tell me," he implored.

When she nodded, albeit slowly, he gathered her up in his arms and held her tightly, reveling in the feel of her face pressed into his chest, her puffs of breath warming his skin even through his clothes. They felt like they were home again.

A desperate thought flashed through Steve's mind as he basked in that feeling, and before he could stop himself, he was speaking it into the top of her hair. It was muffled, but Natasha understood nonetheless. "I don't want to lose you again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp. this has officially surpassed 100K words. Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has stuck with me on this crazy journey!! I thought it was about time for things to start getting fixed. I truly believe this whole thing will make them and their relationship stronger and I can't wait to get it all down and show you :)
> 
> plz let me know your thoughts!! <3


	32. Restarting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things are finally getting back to normal :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love clint a lot

Natasha exhaled shakily as Steve rolled over to lie down next to her, sated and warm, and she moved closer instinctively. Her eyes flicked up to watch his chest, rising and falling with each breath, then up to his neck and face, flush slowly disappearing, and his eyes, closed but not yet asleep.

“I missed you,” she breathed out rather suddenly.

Steve turned to face her and moved his hand from where it lay across his chest to brush her hair back from her face. The sincerity in her eyes warmed him and prompted him to press a tender kiss to her forehead before pulling back and returning her sentiment in a low murmur, “I missed you too.”

Natasha maneuvered herself to lay on her side, chin resting on Steve's arm as she looked up at him. Her eyes shone with unshed tears as she looked up at him, the guilt returning once more for being the one that tore them apart.

But she would try not to let that win, try to follow Steve's clear instructions to leave it in the past; so she ducked her head into the space between his neck and shoulder and pressed her face there, squeezing her eyes shut and holding tightly to him, trying to focus on the fact that he was there, right then. Steve's arm automatically came to wrap around her, keeping her locked there, cuddled up against him, and he gently carded his fingers through her hair.

Not a word was spoken — it wasn't necessary. Steve knew what Natasha was feeling because he was feeling the same — the need to simply be close to each other, to be reassured that the other was actually there, to savor the moment after a too long period of being apart.

Eventually, Natasha released a long breath into his skin and made to move back. Steve wanted to keep her there, and his expression told her as much when she gave him a look when he wouldn't budge, but he let up after she kissed the corner of his mouth and whispered that she was just going to the bathroom.

She came back quickly, a sudden fear shooting through her that he might leave while she was in there, but found him lying in the same spot, and relaxed. She climbed back into bed next to him, aware of his eyes on her and basking in the intimacy of it all; when she was settled, sitting with her back against the headboard, she looked at him curiously and asked, "you staying?"

Steve turned his head and gave her a look that said 'seriously?' before answering verbally and entirely seriously, "yes."

The finality in his voice made Natasha smile to herself as she nodded and slid down the bed to come to rest next to him.

She scooted closer, wanting to feel the warmth that Steve practically radiated as the chill of the night finally made itself known and caused goosebumps to arise on her still-naked body.

Steve watched out of the corner of his eye as she tried to get comfortable and smiled a little to himself just before he moved and, in one motion, turned her on her side, pressed his chest to her back, wrapped his limbs around her, and drew the covers up over them.

It felt so right, for him to be holding her, for her to be in his embrace again. Every bit of stress melted away, and everything felt like it was the way it should be. They had their world back again.

* * *

When Natasha walked into school the next morning, she felt like she was walking on air. The threat of Rumlow was gone, she was back with Steve again, and she had a best friend who she knew would always be looking out for her best interests.

The morning passed quickly and before she knew it, she was back in Steve's classroom, watching him teach with renewed vigor, and lost in her own joyous mind. Of course, they would still have to be careful, but she wasn't too worried about that considering where they were at in their fresh start.

They had both agreed the previous night before falling into bed together that some new rules needed to be formed and, this time around, more strongly enforced.

There would be absolutely no going out in public together anymore, no more walking through the halls together, flirty comments in class, no driving anywhere together. They would work harder at keeping their distance while at school, and she would only go to Steve's apartment on her own, using her key and trying to keep visits to early or late hours. They could still text and call each other, but would change the name listed in their contacts to a nickname or fake name, just in case. Essentially, they were dating in super secret.

The rules might've seemed detailed and a little ridiculous to an outsider, but they were necessary, they would work, and, hey, that's what happened when there were two very smart people in a relationship together.

It was almost like starting over from the beginning, starting fresh, but the strength of the relationship was the same, or maybe even stronger - it was like it hadn't ever really broken.

Now, that's not to say there wasn't still healing to be undergone, there was — but it was starting already, and happening quickly. Being together seemed to be the best solution, and Natasha made sure to thank Clint for that when she saw him at lunch that day.

  
He looked slightly nervous when he saw her approaching, a power in her gait that he knew would have weaker men quivering in their boots.  
"Nat.." he began cautiously when she stopped in front of him on the other side of the table he was sitting at.

She stared him down for a moment longer, wanting to make him squirm just a bit, before cracking a grin and sitting down across from him. She heard him release a nervous breath in the form of a laugh and looked up, letting her true feelings show through her expression.

"Thanks, Clint."

To that, he grinned warmly and moved around to sit next to her just so he could nudge her in that brotherly way. "Course, Tash. Couldn't very well just leave you moping around now, could I? Someone's gotta look out for you..."

She rolled her eyes and he responded with a wink. They started eating their lunches in comfortable silence for a few minutes, until Clint interrupted it with a tone that was both teasing and serious, "so.. you and Rogers.."

Natasha didn't mean to, but a little smile appeared on her face at the very thought of him and she glanced sideways at Clint to try to get a read on his opinion on the matter as she replied, "yeah."

Clint's answering expression was hard to read, so she waited for him to tell her with words before jumping to any conclusions. He just nodded for a beat, seemingly thinking it over, and then finally gave Natasha her answer.

"I am happy for you, Nat, because you seem happy, and that's why I told him everything in the first place.. but I just, I know you're probably thinking the same thing but I would be a bad friend if I didn't worry, if I didn't tell you to be careful. I mean, _extra_ careful, Nat.. look what almost happened, and you're so close to getting the life you always wanted, I just don't want you to lose that."

Natasha took a moment to process his words before responding as seriously as she knew how, so he'd know she took what he said to heart.

"I understand, Clint, I really do. I've gone over it myself about a thousand times — all the reasons why it's wrong and dangerous and why we shouldn't be doing this. But like you said, I'm happy, _so_ happy. And you know, I never ever thought this could happen to me or was even real, so to have it.. I just can't let that go."

She paused for a moment before continuing, making sure to address all of his concerns, almost like she was convincing him to be on board with this.

"And we are being careful! We — he came over, last night, after we got the news about Brock, and we talked things over and agreed to give it another go but also that we need to be stricter with ourselves and enforce our rules more."

At that, Clint arched an eyebrow and she knew he wanted to hear what they were, so she told him. And when she was finished, she asked for any suggestions, and he gave them. And then, by some miracle, it all seemed to satisfy his worry and he nodded with finality.

"So?" Natasha asked tentatively.

Clint gave her a long look, as if making one final decision, and then smiled. "You have my full support, and I'm here for whatever you need."

Natasha's face shifted into a disbelieving but overjoyed expression and she threw herself onto him, wrapping him in a tight hug. He laughed and hugged her more tightly in return. "Thank you thank you _thank you_ ," came rushing out when she pulled back.

He laughed again and slung his arm around her shoulders, ruffling her hair a little bit before pulling her close and telling her fondly, "love you Tash."

She pushed him away and rolled her eyes but nonetheless responded, "love you too, my little archer prodigy," before wrapping her arms around his neck so he couldn't escape and planting a big sloppy kiss on his cheek.

He made an exaggerated protesting noise and escaped from her grasp even as he chuckled under his breath.

At that very moment, Steve happened to walk in front of them as he was making his rounds on the perimeter of the cafeteria and, upon seeing the two overcome with laughter and bright smiles, he couldn't help but smile himself.

Natasha caught him staring and quickly pushed away from Clint, laughter ceasing and smile turning shy but eyes beaming with happiness as a blush rose to her cheeks. Clint noticed her change in behavior and, still laughing a bit, looked up to see what had caused it. Upon finding Mr. Rogers standing there, his laughter diminished as well, but he held his gaze and nodded once, an understanding coming between them as Steve looked surprised for a second but then nodded in turn.

Natasha looked between them and rolled her eyes, catching Steve's eye again and smiling, one he returned easily before they shared a look and he continued on with his lunch duty.

* * *

From there on out, things were fantastic. Clint did support her, and it helped immensely that she could have someone to talk to about the whole thing, and she and Steve were just.. on another level. She knew she still loved him, that never went away from that morning where she'd realized it, but she thought it best to wait a few weeks to tell him.. maybe when school was over since that was only a couple weeks away.

For now, though, there were more immediate things to be worried about - like what she was going to wear to this 'date.'

Steve had wanted to take her out, see, but they couldn't exactly do that, and as she was lamenting to Clint about the difficulties of this situation a few days prior, an idea had struck him as he was reminded of a seemingly insignificant occurrence from many months prior. He'd stopped her mid-sentence to share his thought.

_"Hey Nat —" she paused and looked at his face where it was extra-large over the video call screen. He continued once he had her attention, "I have an idea."_

_She looked at him suspiciously, but was intrigued and told him, "go on.."_

_"Okay, so, remember a while ago when we were at the movies and saw him and some woman and they were on a date, but we ended up sitting together since we were seeing the same movie?"_

_Natasha smiled instinctively, "yeah, you told me he looked like he'd rather be there with me than her, how he seemed like he wanted to ditch her the moment he saw me," a light pink dusted her cheeks as she recounted that night._

_Clint chuckled, "yeah.. little did we both know," and Natasha laughed at the thought, too, falling silent again when Clint continued. "So anyway, what if that were to happen again, but.. you know, on purpose.."_

_Natasha sat up straight and pondered the idea for a moment, Clint falling silent and letting her go over it. "So.." Natasha started and Clint waited for the questions, "just to be clear, you're saying.."_

_"I'm saying we go, just like last time, but instead of accidentally running into him, it's pre-planned to meet up. I'll even call her Laura and see if she wants to meet there, if that'll make you feel better about me being a third-wheel."_

_She smiled at how well he knew her. "Okay. I mean, as long as you're willing.. yeah, yeah I think that's a great plan," she grinned, excitement coming over her at the realization that she and Steve could actually go on a date, in public, in their own part of town for once._

_"Okay, then it's a date," Clint winked and they shared a laugh before she hung up so she could tell Steve the good news._

_She got up off the bed and wandered into the kitchen where she'd left him cooking dinner. He smiled when she approached and asked how Clint was. She leaned her hip against the edge of the counter and grinned, excited to tell him the plan._

_"He's good.. had an idea I found interesting, thought you might, too."_

_At that, Steve stopped stirring and turned to look at her fully, "oh? And what might that be?"_

_A faint blush rose to her cheeks and she chewed on her bottom lip, but only for a second as Steve reached over to pull her lower lip away with his thumb and kiss her softly, a habit she'd almost forgotten about in their time apart - how much he couldn't stand her worrying her lip. She smiled as an afterthought, and finally told him of Clint's excellent idea, looking up at him afterwards in anxious anticipation of his answer._

_"So, just so I'm understanding correctly, we're just gonna meet up, simple as that?"_

_She nodded, "yeah! I know, it sounds so straightforward, like, why didn't we think of that, but yeah, that's it! I think it might be the best idea he's ever had," she laughed and he joined her, stepping away from the stove to pull her into him and dropping a kiss on her forehead._

_She gazed up at him as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pushed gently against her, swaying them gently in place. "I think, that it is a fantastic plan. I would love to go on a date with you and your best friend," Steve winked and then stepped away, leaving Natasha to chuckle and shake her head in fond exasperation before grabbing plates and silverware for the table._

So that's how she ended up in front of her mirror, holding up different tops, before finally shaking her head at herself and settling on a lightweight long sleeve, something comfortable but one she also knew Steve was a big fan of as it molded tightly to her skin in all the right places.

It was all in good time, too, as her phone buzzed just a few minutes later with a text from Clint saying he was waiting outside. She took one last look at herself, swiped on some lip gloss, strawberry flavored like she knew Steve loved, and tucked some loose hairs into her ponytail before heading downstairs and out the door.

Clint whistled when she got in the car and she simply rolled her eyes. "Clint, so inappropriate. And my gosh, I'm not even wearing something worth that."

"Mhm," he smirked, "we'll just wait until _Steve_ sees you."

At just the mention of his name, Natasha smiled and zoned out as her mind could only focus on how _excited_ she was to do this. She was nearly bouncing in her seat the closer they got, and Clint had to place a hand on her knee to settle her when they arrived, though he was laughing softly as he did so.

She took a deep breath and turned to face him, a bright smile that reached her eyes gracing her features.

"Alright, let's go," he said when she looked calmer, patting her knee before hopping out of the car and joining her on the passenger side.

As they entered the movie theatre, after purchasing their tickets and popcorn, they ran into Steve, who gave Clint a curt greeting before fixing his gaze on Natasha. He was seemingly unable to look away, transfixed as they exchanged quiet words, and Clint rolled his eyes, hoping he didn't look that lovestruck when he was with Laura. He let them have their little moment before breaking the silence as he felt his phone buzz with a text from his own girlfriend.

"Well, we have to get to our movie, but it was nice to see you, Mr. Rogers. Have a good night," he said, and Steve immediately understood, smiling a little and nodding, muttering "you too" before heading into Theater #7 to their right.

As Clint and Natasha made their way to meet up with Laura back by the entrance, where she'd texted Clint she was, he told Natasha, "God, he's always so nervous around me.. what does he think I'm gonna do, hurt him?" He scoffed, "don't think I could manage that even if I tried.."

Natasha giggled a little and bumped her shoulder against his, "he just wants to make a good impression, Clint. He knows how important you are to me and he wants you to like him," she explained, voice light with unexpressed laughter but going soft at the end as she thought of how sweet Steve was.

"Well, you can tell him I like him just fine. This weirdness makes me uncomfortable," and to prove his point, he gave an exaggerated little shudder, making Natasha laugh as she told him "fine, I'll talk to him."

Clint grinned at her as they approached Laura. He moved to give her a kiss and stand by her side, and Natasha gave her a quick hug hello before standing back and shoving her hands in her pockets, rolling on the heels of her feet.

Clint turned to Laura, "ready to go? I already got our tickets," he held them out to her. Laura nodded but then looked tentatively at Natasha, "are you sure you're okay alone, Natasha?"

But before Natasha could soothe the girl's worry, Clint was already speaking, "I'm sure she'll be just fine," sending a wink Natasha's way that had her rolling her eyes before confirming Clint's statement.

"I'm good, Laura, don't worry. You two kids have fun," she smiled, Laura returned it, and then Natasha watched them walk away. The excitement came back in a rush and her stomach fluttered as she made her way to the theater Steve had entered earlier. Popcorn bucket and drink in hand, she looked like any other movie-goer, and no one paid her any attention as she made her way to the very back row. Steve had put a lot of thought into this and pre-purchased the tickets to make sure they had privacy, and so she knew exactly where to go.

She met his gaze as she climbed the last step and her entire body relaxed, expression going soft as he smiled gently at her. He took the popcorn and drink from her so she could settle in without dropping anything. The smile seemed to be fixed to his face and when she looked up at him, she couldn't help but return it. It felt _good_ , to be here, doing such a normal thing, with the man she loved, and who she knew without a doubt loved her. It was an indescribable feeling.

The movie started shortly thereafter and Steve decided to be clever, to enjoy himself, and knew Natasha would appreciate it, too. He fake-yawned, accompanied by a fake-stretch, and his arm landed around her shoulders. She looked over at him with a straight expression but smile in her eyes and cracked a knowing grin before moving closer and resting her head on his shoulder.

She could feel more than hear his long exhale, which was followed by a tightening of the arm around her shoulders. With her head so close to his now, he took the opportunity to whisper in her ear, "you look amazing tonight."

She smirked to herself and then shifted to look up at him. "Thank you," she murmured before pressing a kiss to the strong line of his jaw. Watching the way he swallowed and how his eyelashes fluttered shut just from that simple action, she was tempted to blurt out her feelings right then and there, but she settled for brushing her lips against his throat as she moved back down.

As the movie continued, Natasha's breath against Steve's collarbone stayed steady, as did his fingertips brushing across her shoulder, upper arm, and nape of her neck. It was habitual and absent-minded — intimate — and left tingles of pleasure constantly running through both of them.

All of a sudden, about half-way through the movie, Natasha lifted her head up, and in one graceful maneuver, moved over the armrest to land next to Steve, squished between his body and the arm of the chair. He looked down at her with a puzzled and rather speechless expression, but then got the hint and moved over to make room for her.

She let out a content little sigh as she situated herself close to him. The chairs were the nice ones that reclined with a foot-rest, and Natasha opened it up so she could cuddle fully. Her head was pillowed on his chest, arm thrown across his body, legs mixed up with his, and Steve couldn't have been happier. He settled into the new position and wrapped an arm around her to hold her close.

Something neither of them considered, though, was how it would feel, what it would do them, to have the other so close. Their bodies were pressed so close together that Steve could feel the press of her breasts as her chest expanded with every intake of breath, the warm softness of her stomach where it rested against his, and the swell of her ass as his hand inevitably wandered lower in gentle sweeps over her skin-tight jeans.

Natasha found the movie entirely unexciting in comparison to the body that she had next to her, so she turned her attentions there instead. She busied herself with tracing the tattoo on his chest that peeked out of his Henley, and noted the way his breathing came in shallower bursts and the heat radiating from his body intensified. Still, she continued, until Steve stilled her with the placement of his hand over hers.

She looked up with innocent eyes to find his had gone dark, and she knew just what to do. He'd probably meant for her to stop completely, but if that was the case, he should've said so, because her next actions were completely the opposite. She used that same hand to grasp the side of his face and pull him down so she could kiss him properly.

He grunted in surprise and went to push her away but his hand on her shoulder lacked any real strength, and she knew then that maybe he was just trying to be cautious, but he wanted her. So she propped herself up a bit more, so they wouldn't have to strain to reach each other, and molded their lips together again. Not letting go, she got on her knees and nipped his bottom lip, muffling his groan with her lips again.

Without breaking the kiss or making much noise, she shifted so that she was straddling him. He let out a little noise from the back of his throat and Natasha laughed breathily before kissing the corner of his mouth again and pulling back. His hands came to grip her hips and she thought that was one of her favorite feelings of all time — his large hands wrapped around her waist, the strength of his arms and legs supporting her making her feel overwhelmed and secure all at the same time.

Still, not wanting to be too presumptuous or cross any lines, she waited patiently, only pressing light, teasing kisses down the side of his neck. "Nat," Steve's voice came out low and a little whiny, making her smile against his skin before she continued her journey downwards, now nipping a bit at the more sensitive flesh. Another soft strangled groan came from Steve's throat before he spoke again, clearly out of breath already, "the.. mm .. the movie," he finally got out.

She let up and sat up straight to look at him. Head tilted slightly, flush on her cheeks, and lips plump, Steve couldn't fathom why or how he'd ever stopped her in the first place. So when she pouted just a little and asked, "what about the movie?", he simply shook his head and motioned for her to come up closer, surrendering before the battle had even begun. But he didn't care, not when the skin of her cheek was so soft and warm under his palm, not when her lips tasted of salt and butter and a hit of strawberries, not when she was there, willingly and wholeheartedly.

For a while, there was nothing but the sound of blood rushing in their ears and the soft sound of the smacking of lips. The movie was long forgotten — all they could focus on was each other: His hands gently squeezing and releasing her waist, occasionally drifting over her ass or dipping under the waistband of her jeans... her fingers tangled in his hair and pulling enjoyably at the short hairs at the base of his neck... their lips and tongues expressing all their emotions, soft breaths escaping and causing goosebumps to arise on the other's skin... making out in the back of the movie theater was such a cliche, but it was perfect.

And then Natasha moved a little, trying to get closer, and Steve abruptly pulled away from the kiss, burying his face in her shoulder as he let out a quiet moan. She knew what had caused it, hadn't thought of it when she'd moved, obviously, but now... oh, this was shaping up to be a very memorable date, she thought as she smirked to herself.

She let Steve stay there, trying to catch his breath and calm the buzzing inside his body.. tried to help by running soothing fingertips through the hairs she'd been tugging on before. And when he finally lifted his head, wearing a sheepish grin and looking like he was going to apologize again, she returned the expression, though her grin was much more mischievous. Before he could utter a word, she closed the space between them again and as soon as she felt him respond, she rolled her hips a second time, immensely enjoying Steve's sharp intake of breath.

He didn't move away, though, and she figured he thought it was an accident or something and he was trying to control himself and still make her happy, so she did it again, and this time, he did pull away. She quickly schooled her expression into one of innocence, but when he asked in a sharp whisper, "okay, are you _trying_ to kill me?" ... well, she couldn't help it. She grinned wickedly and kissed his cheek before leaning back and looking him in the eye as she very slowly and deliberately ground against him.

The visual she got in return was almost worth everything they'd gone through in recent weeks. His eyes squeezed shut, the motion almost harsh, his grip on her tightened to the point that she thought she'd probably have light bruises later, and he breathed deeply through his nose. She couldn't help it, brushing her fingertips lightly over his abdomen, and relished in how he bit his lip to keep sound from coming out.

Finally, though, she let up, let him breath, and felt his body relax under her. He popped one eye open to glare at her, though it held no effect when she could see the light dancing behind it, and she blinked her eyelashes as if to say 'what? what did I do?'

His other eye opened and then she was faced full-on with the disapproving-teacher look that she never thought she'd be on the receiving end of. But she wasn't complaining... on Steve, it looked hot, and she wasn't about to deny herself this chance to be so normal, but only so long as Steve wasn't actually in opposition to it.

So she smiled, ran a hand down his chest, and then looked him in the eyes so he would see she was just having fun. He was hopeless when faced with that open expression, and soon he found himself leaning forward, responsible this time for connecting their lips.

He pulled away after a moment, when he felt her hesitant response, and leaned back to look at her. "I'm not actually mad at you," he confirmed with a gentle voice, "just... really wound up," he huffed out a laugh as he pressed his lips to her shoulder. "You don't know what you do to me, sweetheart."

Natasha shuddered as his warm breath hit her skin. He'd already pushed her shirt down one shoulder, calloused fingertips skating across her skin as he did so and promptly setting it on fire.

"Steve," she whispered in a half-whimper and squirmed in his lap, wanting to get to a solution already.

He pulled back to look at her and she knew that look, his eyes bright, alive, and dark at the same time, grin giving in but because he wanted to, because he agreed with her. And then he kissed her, pushing into her mouth at once and pulling her ever closer until she was right on top of his hardened length.

She didn't know if it was permission or whatever, but she went right back to her little game, taking pleasure in the noises Steve made and the way he held onto her tighter, as if his life depended on it.

She started a rhythm of slowing rolling her hips, making sure to press down with just the right amount of pressure, and then letting up, moving her lips against his until they both needed to breath. And then she would roll her hips again, holding his head to her skin when he moved to muffle his groans into her neck or shoulder. It was too much and not enough at the same time, but it was nice — more than nice, it could become addicting with how it felt.

It was like that for a while, Natasha grinding against him at tantalizingly slow speed, then easing up, a leisurely pace that was meant more for his apartment than the movies, but hey, they had to take things as they came.

And come they did — or, almost. On one particularly strong roll of her hips, Steve jolted up to press further against her and they both let out a high-pitched, sharp sound before Natasha muffled the sound by pressing their lips together. They were lucky they were both so breathless it wasn't a very loud noise, but after that, Steve placed a hand on her thigh to still her and whispered, eyes still closed, "Nat.. stop, stop. I'm too.. can't take anymore. _Jesus_ ," he quietly exclaimed at the end as her hand accidentally brushed against him while she tried to hold herself off him.

"Sorry," she whispered, sincere, as she really didn't want him to embarrass himself there, as much fun as it seemed in her head. She managed to scoot back so she could rest against his thighs instead of a more sensitive area, and despite his words, his hands reached out for her as though he didn't want her to go.

"S'okay," he opened his eyes and sent her a lopsided grin, "now I just can't wait to get you alone," he winked and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. "C'mere," he motioned to his side, where she had been cuddled previously, and she went willingly, climbing off of him to move to her previous position, snug against him, where she felt like she belonged.

They finished the movie like that, Natasha practicing deep-breathing for a while before settling, and Steve staring at her with stars in his eyes. Just before the credits rolled, during the last scene of the movie, he shifted his gaze from the screen down to her and looked her over. When she felt his gaze on her, she tilted her chin up to meet his eyes, and he played with a strand of hair that had fallen onto the side of her face. "I'm so lucky to have you," he whispered, pushing the hair behind her ear so he could lean down and kiss her cheek.

Natasha smiled softly and reached up to lace her fingers with his where his palm rested against her jaw, "not as lucky as I am to have you."

They shared another one of their understandings without words and Natasha moved back to settle against his chest, humming contentedly when he pulled her close and rested his chin atop her head. As this all happened, at the warmth that spread through his chest, Steve became clear-headed and came to the decisive conclusion that Natasha was the only one he wanted to be with... this was it for him. _She_ was it, all he would ever need, and he hoped Natasha was coming to the same conclusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy valentine's day loves <3
> 
> soo this is absolutely got away from me but I am not complaining (but seriously - can I ever write less than 5k words? lol
> 
> anyway I'm so happy to be back at this!! like, as equally happy as you guys or possibly more. I know this one was kind of Nat-heavy but going forward there will definitely be more of Steve's voice too :) can't wait for you to see what's coming!
> 
> much love and thank you for reading <3


	33. Getting (away)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back to the Big Apple they go!

"Ughhhhh" Natasha's tired and slightly annoyed voice sounded as Steve walked through the door. He'd had a meeting after school but wanted to go over one of Natasha's AP exams, and had asked her to wait for him at his apartment.

Dropping his keys on the table by the door and hanging his bag, Steve chuckled to himself before walking over to where Natasha was lying with her head on the arm of the couch, body stretched out. He leaned over for a quick kiss and pulled back with a breathy chuckle, "what's wrong now?" he asked as he came around to sit on the other side of the couch, pulling her ankles to rest atop his lap.

Natasha playfully pouted and tossed her head back further, a show of exasperation that had Steve arching an eyebrow with an amused glint in his eye. "I'm looking at housing," she finally said, motioning to her laptop where it rested on her stomach.

"And..?" Steve prompted.

"And it's _hard_ ," she frowned for real this time. "There's so many to look at and I don't know if I want a roommate or not and I don't really know what my budget will be or where the majority of my classes will be or what's closest to public transportation and food and stuff.. I just feel like I don't know anything but I have to start thinking about this and it's making it really difficult."

Steve's thumbs softly brushing over her ankles grounded her and she glanced over at him to find his expression sympathetic and, at the same time, distracted, as though he was lost in his own thoughts.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Natasha, and she grinned wickedly before speaking again. "Steve," his eyes quickly focused on her again at the familiar tone in her voice. She locked gazes with him and carefully closed the laptop and set it on the floor next to her. "Make me stop thinking."

That was the only propositioning he needed. Soon enough he was crawling over her, swiftly ducking his head down to connect their lips in a heated kiss. It wasn't long before they were both panting and Natasha was tugging at Steve's shirt, lifting it over his head when he leaned back slightly, and then his mouth was back on her skin. His lips trailing down her neck, sucking more roughly in all the right places, and her hands running up and down his chest, all made that impromptu mission a success. Natasha most definitely stopped thinking - about anything other than that very moment.

An hour and a half later, when they'd both found their release more than once and Steve had declared Natasha satisfactorily marked, just under the hem of her shirt and above the cup of her bra, he lay on top of her and gently brushed her hair where his fingertips rested. He was careful not to crush her completely, but Natasha mostly welcomed the familiar weight and held him to her while her breathing slowly steadied itself.

The air was filled only with the soft sounds of breathing and the occasional rustling of skin against skin as one of them shifted. It was peaceful, until it was broken by the loud rumble of Steve's stomach. Natasha laughed loudly when she felt the movement against her, and Steve huffed into her shoulder.

"Come on big boy," she patted his back, trying to get him up so they could eat dinner.

"Mmm, don' wanna move, s'comfy," he mumbled into her skin.

Natasha smiled fondly at the large child Steve sometimes was. "Steve you need to eat if you're hungry," she said gently but with a declarative tone, trying to tell him without words that it would be no use to argue.

He only shook his head, and then Natasha made her final move. Maneuvering her leg around his waist and lower half, she tightened her muscles and, in one swift motion, flipped them over so he was on his back beneath her.

When she looked down at him, his eyes were wide with surprise. Natasha grinned victoriously, flipping her hair out of her face with one breath before leaning down to give him a chaste kiss and then sliding off. She headed to the kitchen, calling out behind her, "I'm going to make tacos!" A grin rose to her face when she heard him fall of the couch in his haste to follow after her.

* * *

That sort of domesticity carried on as much as it could, so long as Natasha's parents weren't home, and even sometimes when they were. They never asked questions, anyway.

A couple nights into the week, he'd asked her to come over after work as he had something to talk to her about. She was slightly concerned when he'd said that because, normally, there was nothing so big that it had to have what basically amounted to an appointment. But Steve had reassured her it was nothing bad, and he just wanted her to come over instead of going straight home like she normally would when she worked in the evening.

  
"Hey," Natasha greeted as she entered the apartment.  
Steve's head peered around the corner as he returned her greeting with an easy smile. "Hey, dinner's almost done. I didn't know if you ate yet but figured I'd make extra just in case."

"Thanks," she smiled as she locked the door and hung her coat up. "I'm just gonna go shower and change and then I'll be out."

Steve nodded and went to kiss her, but Natasha stopped him with a gentle hand on his chest and small shake of her head. She knew she didn't smell like herself and though he tried not to, Steve really didn't react well when the scent difference was as noticeable as it was right then.  
He blinked once and his expression fell a little but he understood, and settled for squeezing her hand with a small smile.

Once she'd washed up and they'd eaten a hearty meal, she helped him clean and then they moved to the couch. The conversation during dinner had been so utterly normal, Natasha had nearly forgotten about the impending conversation.

The peacefulness lasted for a few minutes as they relaxed on the couch, her back to Steve's front, his hands wrapped around her waist and fingers brushing against her skin absentmindedly as they watched some primetime drama. But then a commercial came on and she remembered why she was there as Steve's voice sounded from behind her, "so I've been thinking..."

Natasha tensed a bit and waited for more to come, but none did, so she sat up and shifted to sit cross legged, facing him. He couldn't quite meet her eyes, and so instead took her hands in his and focused on where his thumbs began brushing over her knuckles. Natasha laced their fingers together and squeezed gently, patiently waiting for him to continue and giving him her full attention.

When he spoke again, his voice sounded uncertain, but hopeful, like he couldn't quite stop himself from going through with the conversation. "Remember when you were looking at apartments the other day when I came home, and talking about all the reasons it was difficult?"

Natasha nodded, waiting for him to get to the point. "Well, I thought, actually it's been on my mind for a while, that now would be the perfect time for me to move back. And since I've been keeping up on the apartment, I'd just live there...and I thought," he rubbed the back of his neck and felt how warm his skin had become, knew a nice blush was probably already in place, "if you wanted, you could live there, too."

He chanced a glance up at Natasha from under his lashes and found her wearing a rather blank expression. Surprise covered most of her features and she opened and closed her mouth a couple times, completely at a loss for words.

"Of course, I know this is a surprise," Steve jumped right in again, wanting to explain himself and relieve any pressure he'd inadvertently put on her, "I probably definitely should have consulted you on it a long time ago but then.. everything happened, and I didn't want to spring it on you right after we got back together so.. the timing just worked out and you were worrying so much about where you're going to live and I just got notice last night that I'd made it to the final round of interviews for a new job, and, so, I thought I should tell you now."

He finally stopped speaking and waited for Natasha to process everything he'd just dumped on her, not daring to look at her for fear of what her expression would tell him.

Natasha's eyes moved back and forth as though she was having a debate in her own mind, and then she finally inhaled deeply, seemingly coming to a decision. "I like the idea," Steve's head shot up to gaze at her intently, "and it's really nice of you to offer.."

Steve cocked his head sideways and smiled softly, "I'm sensing a 'but' coming.."

Natasha smiled a little and squeezed his hand where it was still joined with hers, " _but_ ," she emphasized and then took a deep breath, preparing herself to be completely honest, "I'm worried that it's too soon, and that, if we live together, we might get sick of each other. And I really don't want that."

"Oh," Steve's expression softened and his eyes returned to more of their normal sparkling state, "that's totally valid. I honestly hadn't even thought of that," he shook his head lightly, "I swear, you're so much more mature than me," he grinned and Natasha couldn't help but return it.

"Ok so how 'bout this  **—** maybe we can get away this weekend, take a trip up there - I know Bucky's been _dying_ to meet you, really won't get off my ass about it," Natasha giggled a little at that and Steve smiled knowingly, "and you can get a better feel for it being your own place since last time you didn't have that on your mind. And if the answer is no, well, I'm still planning on moving back there, so I will happily accompany you on your search for your own place, I'm good as long as we're still in the same city."

He smiled that lopsided grin at her and Natasha found herself grinning helplessly in return before pulling him closer so she could kiss him, mumbling "sounds good" into his lips just before he pulled her completely onto his lap.

* * *

Friday came before they knew it, and then at noon, Steve was heading home for the day while Natasha signed herself out for 'personal reasons.' She could do that easily now that Principal Fury had instructed the entire administrative staff to let her do just that at anytime, no questions asked.

Steve smirked at her as she was writing down the time, having caught her gaze as the front office assistant turned her back to get Natasha a drive-off pass, and Natasha just rolled her eyes even as she smiled back - it was near impossible to hold back nowadays.

"Okay, Natasha, here you go," they quickly looked away from each other as the woman turned back to Natasha. She looked up at her expectantly and Natasha shifted her backpack to take hold off the pass, looking it over before glancing back up at the woman and politely thanking her.

Just as she was turning around to leave, the woman called her name again, "I'm sorry, nearly forgot, we just need someone to see you out, you know - make sure you're actually leaving," she gave an apologetic smile.

"Oh, okay. Should I go find someone? Or..." Natasha tried to ascertain. But before the woman could respond, Steve spoke up from the back, slightly startling the poor woman who seemed to have forgotten he was there. "I can walk her out, Marianne."

She turned around to face him, "Oh would you? Is that okay Natasha?" She swiveled her head back to wait for Natasha's answer. Attempting to be as nonchalant as possible, Natasha shrugged and with a calm voice replied, "fine with me."

"Fantastic," the woman clasped her hands together. "Thank you so much, Steve."

"Sure, I'm heading out that way anyway," he sent that warm smile and Natasha had to hold herself back from rolling her eyes again when Steve looked over at her. "Ready when you are, Ms. Romanoff," he said with a twinkle in his eye that only she would notice.

They wished Marianne well and headed out, Natasha whispering to him as soon as the main office doors had shut behind them and his hand touched the small of her back, "what are you doing?"

Steve simply smiled down at her and squeezed her waist, "just having a bit of fun, doll."

This time, Natasha _did_ roll her eyes, "well look who's just Mr. Clever today," she teased with a smile.

The only response she received was a boyish grin that she wanted to kiss off his face, but she couldn't, so she pinched his leg instead as she pretended that her hands were swaying naturally as she walked. Steve let out a little yelp and Natasha laughed quietly to herself as they continued to her car.

She placed her backpack in the trunk and then went around to the driver's side, opening it and standing behind it while interlacing her fingers with Steve's on the other side, completely blocked to any outside viewers by the car door and their own bodies.

"So I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah," Steve answered quietly, "I should be at your place around 12:30 but I'll text you before I leave, too."

"'Kay," Natasha smiled brightly before squeezing his hand one last time, their replacement for kissing when in public, and then let go, sitting down in the car and shutting the door. She gave him a little wave as she turned the ignition and then backed out. Steve did his duty and watched her until she was safely out of the gate, then got on his bike and followed after her.

  
Natasha's parents were, as expected, not home when she arrived, and she quickly threw some last things in her suitcase before heading downstairs to make some sandwiches. She was just placing the last one in a reusable container when her phone buzzed on the counter.

Glancing over at it, she saw it was Steve, and upon opening it, found her suspicions confirmed - he was waiting outside. She texted back a quick _be out in a sec_ and gathered up all her things, scribbling a quick note to Ivan and her step-mom before heading out, making sure to lock the door behind her.

She motioned for Steve to open the trunk so he wouldn't have to get out of the car (the whole point of him picking her up was to avoid anyone seeing either of them leaving with the other), slid her suitcase in, and then joined him in the front seat.

"Hi," she greeted, eyes dancing with excitement. He returned her greeting with that warmth that soaked into her from the outside in, and she leaned over to kiss him breathless. And breathless indeed he became.

Leaning their foreheads together after they came apart, Steve chuckled breathily and told her, "oh man, I cannot wait for this weekend."

Natasha laughed, too, and pecked his lips before leaning back into her seat and buckling up so they could get on the road.

As they pulled onto the freeway and she watched their city drift away, her body relaxed, and then her stomach growled. "Oh!" she sat up quickly, reaching onto the floor for her backpack. "I forgot, I brought sandwiches," she grinned widely and handed him one when he replied with a hungry-sounding "mmm, you're the best, Nat," and held out his hand.

He scarfed down a couple sandwiches while Natasha ate hers and then sat back and let herself enjoy the moment - wind in her hair, classic rock playing over the radio, and Steve right there next to her.

"So, Bucky's going to meet us for brunch tomorrow," Steve said once he'd swallowed down his last bite, "said he wanted to give us a little time to settle in."

The butterflies in her stomach made a sudden return. "That's thoughtful of him," Natasha responded, not knowing what else to really say as her mind became unfocused.

To say that she was nervous would be an understatement. Steve had reassured her that Bucky already loved her and they'd get along great, but still, she wasn't so confident. He was the only other person besides Sarah who could disapprove and tear them apart, the only other person who had that strong of a connection with Steve, and she would be lying if she said that didn't positively terrify her.

As though sensing her train of thought, Steve grabbed her hand and squeezed lightly in that familiar, comforting gesture. "Hey," his voice was soft over the outside sounds, "stop overthinking it. You guys are going to get along great - I swear, you're two peas in a pod. I can see it already, Buck telling you all my most embarrassing moments and the two of you lording them over me for years and years to come."

Natasha's lips lifted up at that thought, "I do like to know all the embarrassing things about you and remind you of them at random moments."  
Her voice was warm with humor and fondness and Steve laughed loudly before bringing her hand to his lips then setting it back down. "Yeah, you guys are going to have a great time getting to know each other."

Natasha smiled softly at him and let the topic rest, choosing instead to lay her head back and hum along with the song playing over the radio while tracing her fingers up and down Steve's arm.

She must've dozed off at some point because the next time she opened her eyes, it was to Steve gently shaking her awake, and 3 hours had passed. "Hey," Steve smiled softly when he saw her eyes flutter open, "taking a quick bathroom break. Need anything from inside?"

Natasha shook her head, "but I'll come with you. Should probably go while I can, plus, I could use a stretch."

Nodding, Steve unbuckled her and quickly moved around to her side to open the door and help her out. On the walk over, Natasha took the opportunity to look around her surroundings and found that they were pretty much in the middle of nowhere. Mind suddenly whirring, she took Steve's hand and leaned into him as they walked, simply wanting to take advantage of their ability to be physically close in public.

When she re-emerged from the bathroom, she took a quick walk, and found Steve inside the small store. His eyes caught hers and he smiled immediately, motioning for her to join him. "Hey," he wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her forehead as soon as she stopped next to him. "I'm just getting some caffeine and candy, want anything?"

"Mmm no," Natasha decided after looking at what Steve was purchasing, "I'll just steal your sour patch," she informed him with a knowingly wicked grin. He rolled his eyes and directed his next statement towards the cashier, who'd been watching them with vested interest since Natasha had joined them, "can you ring me up for two of those?" The man nodded and Steve told Natasha to go ahead and get another bag, that way she could have one and a half whole bags to last the weekend.

While she was meandering the store trying to find the candy, Steve took the opportunity to talk to the cashier. In a low and unmoving tone, he told the other man, "listen, I don't know whether you're staring at us, or her, but either way, we're together, so you need to stop."

"Hey man, I was just wondering how you got one so young and hot.. wishin' I could have the same. I mean, whooo, bet she's a nice fuck, body like that?" He looked at Steve as if seriously waiting for an answer, and Steve almost lost it.

His breathing became labored with how much effort he was putting into _not_ lunging at the man, and his jaw clenched almost painfully. He felt his hand turn into a fist at his side and he stared the man down with the most threatening glare he'd ever used on someone.

When he finally did speak, his voice was but a hiss, lowered so Natasha wouldn't hear and the man would feel the full rage behind it. "Listen _pal_. That is my _girlfriend_ and I _love_ her." Steve's eyes shut and he forced himself to take a deep breathe before continuing, "and I would _appreciate it_ if you didn't talk about her like she was a piece of _meat_. I hope to god no young women ever encounter you because I would frankly be worried for their safety if they did. We have something real, my girlfriend and I, and you _clearly_ have some misconstrued idea - sexualizing young girls simply for being young. And that is disgusting. What you just said? That's not being a man, that's being a _disgrace_ to all the real men in the world. You don't say things like that, you don't even _think_ them. Got it?"

The man gulped and nodded, clearly frightened, and Steve leaned back into his own space. "Oh, and one more thing, if I see you leering like that again, I'm not going have this much control over my actions."

The cashier's eyes widened and then looked swiftly away, ringing up the second bag of candy just as Natasha approached. Her palm touched Steve's elbow gently as she came next to him to deposit the bag of candy on the checkout counter, and then her arm looped completely through his as she leaned against him. Feeling tenseness leave his body at her touch, she looked up at him questioningly, but he told her with a quick shake of his head to not say anything right then.

As soon as they were out of the door, with one last glance back to the cashier and shake of his head, Natasha barely asked "okay, what is up with **—** " before she was being pressed against the wall just next to the door and Steve was pressing his lips to hers in a searing kiss. She made a little surprised noise, which he just swallowed down, and then she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer and practically melting against him.

"Okay," she said, breathless and eyes still half-shut, head leaning back against the wall. "Not that I'm complaining," she opened her eyes fully and was met with his sharp blue orbs staring intently back at her from an incredibly short distance, "but what has gotten into you?"

Steve sighed and shook his head, the motion messing with the spot where their foreheads connected. "Nothing. I love you. and men are awful." He mumbled at the end. Natasha's eyebrows furrowed and she cupped his face in her hands, drawing him back enough to have his attention. "Not you," she smiled easily and pressed a tender and chaste kiss to his lips, pulling back after just a moment.

Steve's own expression changed and he cracked a grin, "glad you think so." He kissed her one last time before stepping back and grabbing the bag of snacks from where it had fallen to the floor. He stood back up and, in doing so, noticed something that needed to be rectified immediately.

He shifted the bag up his arm so his hands were free to quickly reach up Natasha's shirt a little bit and unfold it, bringing it back down to cover a patch of skin on her stomach that had been exposed. He didn't actually know when, but he was guessing it had been before their little make out session. It happened so quickly that Natasha didn't know what was going on until it was already over and he was patting the spot mumbling something about 'good' and 'much better' to himself.

She just shook her head again and took his hand, leading him back to the car. "My turn to drive?" she turned to him with her signature smirk and he was hopeless, tossing her the keys and chuckling at her subdued exclamation of "yes!" when he did so. Mood much better now that his own personal sunshine had soaked her rays into his very soul, Steve rested easier for the remainder of the drive, swapping seats with Natasha again when they got into the city since she didn't quite want to deal with New York drivers yet.

* * *

 By the time they reached his apartment, the sun was setting, and Natasha soaked in the beauty of it as they walked up the stairs to his place. For the first time since she'd decided on a school, she was really starting to feel excited about moving here and starting classes.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Steve's voice interrupted her train of thought. She turned to look at him and a smile immediately rose to her face. He was standing in the doorway to his bedroom with the most innocently curious expression and she couldn't help but imagine this scene, every day.

"Just.. you know.. everything that lies ahead," she returned warmly. "I'm excited to start school and be here more permanently. It's so beautiful here," she turned to look out the window again and Steve watched her expression soften even further as she took in the scenery.

He responded, voice gone soft, "yeah, yeah it is." Natasha turned around to look at him again and, sure enough, found him looking at her, and not the window. She smirked and entered his personal space in a few quick steps.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hung there for a moment. "Sap," she teased before pecking his lips and gliding around him to unpack her bag. Steve rolled his eyes but followed suit, bending down to kiss her neck as he reached for his own small bag of toiletries. "You know you love it," he murmured into her skin before removing himself and setting out to straighten up the place a bit.

Once they were settled in and the pizza had been delivered, they set themselves up with a movie and some blankets. As easy conversation was made or comfortable silence was sat in, Natasha couldn't help but imagine that as her life for the next four years. She had to admit to herself, it felt pretty wonderful, and she had a feeling this whole weekend would wear her down even more. Spending time with Steve was just so nice, and to consider the possibility of having that every day for the next four years? It was like some sort of wild dream come true.

He did offer his guest room once it was time for bed, but it was half-hearted and Natasha really had no desire to sleep alone, anyway. "Don't be stupid, Steve. Of course I'm sleeping with you," she told him, rather amused. "Plus I forgot pajamas and how else would I steal one of your shirts?" she added with a wink that had Steve shaking his head and chuckling.

"Nat, I would gladly give you any of my shirts at anytime for any reason. You look a helluva lot better in them than I do anyway," he remarked as she went searching through his drawers.

After changing and hearing Steve still in the shower, Natasha wandered back out to the living room, to the window she'd been gazing out of earlier. In the silence, the weight of all her thoughts came back, but this time clouded over with worries and negativity that she just couldn't push away.

When Steve re-entered the room, Natasha was sitting next to the window, looking pensively out at the city beyond.

“Hey, what’s on your mind?” Steve’s gentle voice startled Natasha out of her downward thought spiral.

She glanced out the window again before turning her gaze towards Steve. Sending him a small smile that didn't reach her eyes, she answered vaguely, “I don't know. Just.. thinking.”

His lips turned up in a slightly amused expression and he stepped closer, until he could set a warm palm on her shoulder. “Thinking about what?”

Natasha sighed and turned away from him to look out the window again as she gave her reply. “The future, college…. us.” She hesitated a moment, seemingly warring with herself on whether to continuing sharing, but ultimately decided to share her whole thought with him. “I, I know you said - I'm sorry, if it seems like I'm second-guessing or doubting you, but I just, I need to know you're not going to get annoyed or sick of me and leave me.”

It was her own thoughts feeding her those worries, he'd never given any indication to the contrary, she knew that and Steve likely did, as well, but she needed to hear it. To know that this wasn't all him just being nice or getting caught up in the moment.

“Nat, hey, look at me,” Steve's expression was soft as ever when she looked at his reflection in the glass. With the prompting of his hand closing over her shoulder and pulling just a bit, she turned to face him directly.

“Beautiful angel,” the words seemed to fall instinctively from his lips but Steve meant them nonetheless, the strength to his tone gave that away. He knelt and cupped her face between his large hands. Smiling a little, he told her in a way that left no room for questioning, “I am going to be here for you - with you - for as long as you let me. I _love_ you, I care too damn much about you to let you go. So as long as I have a say in it, I'm not going anywhere. You're amazing in every way, and there's no way in hell I would purposefully separate myself from you.”

His statement was final, and Natasha felt it, she felt better, and as he searched her eyes in an honest show of concern, a small smile came to her face. She wiped away a single tear before shifting just a bit closer, then pressed her lips to his. They were both clearly a little emotional but that was the kind of thing Natasha loved about their relationship. They were two people filled with passion, and that passion carried over to their relationship.

Steve had responded to the kiss immediately and held her ever closer. When she pulled away, his strong hold wouldn't let her go far.. not that she wanted to. She pressed their foreheads together and breathed out, “thank you.”

Her eyes were closed but she could feel the upturn of Steve’s lips as the muscles in his face shifted to accommodate it. She couldn't help but let her own grin return and Steve pecked her lips one more time, uttering “you’re welcome” into her skin before moving back and standing.

Natasha opened her eyes to find him smiling with that sparkle in his eyes, a hand outstretched to her. She shook her head lightly, amused, but took it. Steve immediately pulled her close and gruffly whispered in her ear, “let me show you how I feel.”

Natasha actually blushed at that, but recovered quickly and smiled brilliantly back up at him, “lead the way.”

He grinned and swiftly tugged her down the hallway by the hand. For the rest of the night, the only thing that could be seen, heard, and felt was the strength of their emotions when it came to their feelings for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW. I've been gone so long. I'm so sorry. This was sitting half-written forever and I just couldn't finish it, but finally just got something out. It's probably not the best because my brain has been very distracted with real life stuff (moving, job, boyz), but I love them and with all this depressing endgame stuff I wanted to at least put something out. 
> 
> Also, i don't really know what that middle part was so sorry if that was random. And I was debating *forever* whether to have the ending be fun or angsty and ultimately decided on angst because I'm an angsty person. But honestly, lmk if you hated it and I'm equally as happy to replace it with fun!
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


	34. Introducing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barnes. James, (Bucky) Barnes.
> 
> or, in which Bucky and Natasha are finally introduced (plus some extras)

Steve's alarm sounding the next morning woke them both from a deep sleep. Natasha grumbled and buried her face further into Steve's chest, pulling the covers further up over them.

Steve's arm flexed where it was wrapped around her waist as he came to full awareness, and he breathed out a soft chuckle at Natasha's unwillingness to wake up. Blinking his eyes fully open, he sighed when he took in the sight of her curled up next to him, the sunlight peeking through the curtains hitting her in a way that made her look like an angel on earth.

"Morning, beautiful," his still-scratchy voice sounded just before he pressed a kiss to her hairline.

The only response he received was a groan, followed by the flutter of eyelashes against his skin.

Checking the time, he knew they would need to start moving soon if they wanted to be ready in time for brunch. So he went about waking her up in the most pleasant way he could think of.

Trailing his fingertips lightly up and down her spine, then across her shoulder blades, he murmured soothingly, "come on Nat... time to wake up, sleepyhead." When she sighed and he could feel her inhale deeply, he knew she was getting there. With one more pass of his fingers across the backs of her arms, she turned her head to face him.

At the sight that greeted him, Steve sent her that beautiful, soft smile, and she couldn't help but return it with her own small grin.

"Well hello there," Steve lightly teased. Natasha looked down and a small blush rose to her cheeks, but she was soon looking back up at him - the sight too wonderful to avoid for long.

"Morning," she breathed out. The light danced in Steve's eyes and Natasha thought he might be some sort of god, just before he leaned down to kiss her gently.

It was chaste, but just what Natasha needed on such a slow beautiful morning. When he pulled away, she dropped her head back down to rest on his chest and traced the tattoo there with her fingers.

Steve took in the sight one last time before stilling her movements with his hand over hers, then laced their fingers together and softly told her, "we should probably get out of bed if we want to be ready by the time Bucky gets here."

Natasha's only response was a long exhale into Steve's skin. When she made no further act of disagreement, though, Steve kissed the top of her head one last time and then slid out of the bed. "I'm going to make coffee, why don't you hop in the shower?" he called out behind him as he left the bedroom.

Heaving one last sigh, Natasha rolled over and out of bed, and set about preparing herself for the day while trying to keep her nerves at bay. By the time she was ready, she'd replayed Steve's calming words from the day before about a hundred times and, while she was still a bit nervous, she found herself excited, too, to meet another person who was such an integral part of Steve's life.

She was watching Steve pour the last few pancakes when the doorbell rang. They looked at each other, and Natasha was helpless against the undeniable _beam_ that took over Steve's face. She grinned back before taking the spatula and ushering him towards the door.

She was just about to flip the pancakes over when she heard the door open, and a deep voice cheerfully greet, "hey, punk!" Natasha smiled to herself as the telltale sound of a male embrace floated to her ears, followed by Steve saying "good to see you, Buck," in that way that she just knew meant he was smiling.

The door shut and there was some more chatter from the living room, and then footsteps. Natasha had no sooner flipped the pancakes onto the rest of the stack and turned off the stove than Bucky and Steve entered the kitchen and she turned around to face them both.

Natasha smiled kindly from their first moment of eye contact, and then Steve jumped in. "Buck, this is Natasha. Natasha, Bucky," he introduced, and then waited, looking back and forth between them with a seemingly permanent smile.

"Hi, it's so nice to meet you," Natasha spoke first and extended her hand.

But Bucky just shook his head, grinned, and pulled her into an embrace that rivaled some of Steve's best bear hugs. She could hear Steve laughing while she was being literally smothered with kindness, until he finally said "okay, okay. Enough Buck, you can put her down now," with a wink directed to Natasha.

"Sorry, doll," Bucky apologized as he set Natasha down. "This one," he motioned to Steve, "has been hiding you away for far too long - sue me if I'm more than a little excited to meet you."

Natasha laughed and dismissed his apology with a wave of her hand, "don't worry about it. It's really great to finally meet you, too. Now - you boys hungry?" She looked between them and, right on time, Steve's stomach audibly growled. Smiling to herself, she turned to grab the food off the counter and muttered, "why do I even ask.."

At that, Bucky laughed loudly and clapped Steve on the shoulder, "oh, I like this one, Stevie."

Steve glanced at Natasha as she set the plate of pancakes down in the middle of the table and smiled gently, "yeah, me too."

Bucky just looked at his friend and shook his head lightly before taking his seat, a small smile on his face all the while.

"So, Natasha," he began as soon as the food had been served and everyone had started digging in. Natasha gulped down her orange juice and looked at Bucky with wide eyes. "How did you two meet?"

She set down her glass and looked over to Steve immediately, only to find him with his head bowed and shaking back and forth. She didn't know what to do, but luckily as she turned back to Bucky, her solution was presented to her as he started laughing and told her, "sorry, sorry. Steve told me, don't worry.. I was just bein' a pain."

Natasha released a breath she didn't know she'd been holding in and tried to laugh along with him but it just came out as breaths of relief.

"Jesus, Bucky - unnecessary," Steve shook his head disapprovingly and reached for Natasha's hand, squeezing once and letting go when he felt her squeeze back.

"Sorry, hey, sorry," Bucky said more seriously to Natasha, and again, she waved his apology off with a smile. "But I do want to know, and be honest with me, is he treatin' you okay? In case you didn't know, he's a bit of a punk," he winked at Natasha and she grinned in return.

"He's treating me just fine, despite his rather punk-ish ways," she answered with a wink right back. Bucky's eyes sparkled with amusement and he clasped his hands together dramatically, "oh, do I have stories for you.."

Steve sighed and shook his head in mock exasperation, as he muttered "I knew this was going to happen.." but the faint smile on his face and twinkle in his eyes gave away his true feelings.

And for the rest of the morning, Bucky happily shared stories of a young, troublemaker Steve Rogers, while, for those stories, Natasha swapped her own tales of a rule-breaking, occasionally block-headed, but usually sweet (and whipped, as Bucky so kindly pointed out) Steve.

The old pictures eventually emerged, and Natasha sure got a kick out of those. "Oh my god, you were so cute babe!" she called out to Steve, who had gone to retrieve a pitcher of water from the kitchen. Bucky had just shown her a picture of the two of them at six years old, all dressed up as superheroes for Halloween and posing in heroic stances for Steve's mom.

When Steve came back into the room to see what she was looking at, Bucky took the opportunity to smile softly at the couple, an almost immediate response when Natasha had called Steve by that particular pet name.

Steve settled back onto the couch next to Natasha, then placed his arm around her, and she automatically moved closer. Bucky's eyes shone with a sudden swell of pride and joy for his friend, and when Steve glanced over at him and gave him a funny look, he knew he'd been caught. So he simply smiled, to which Steve responded in kind, and pulled out another picture, returning to the matter at hand.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in much the same way. Bucky shared many embarrassing pictures and stories of Steve, much to Natasha's delight and Steve's chagrin.

"He probably thought I wouldn't go so far," Bucky had stage-whispered to Natasha after sharing a particularly mortifying story and finding Steve red-faced and spluttering. Natasha _giggled_ and Steve downright pouted.

All in all, though, he was happy. They were clearly getting along very well, even if it was at his expense, and the whole feeling of the apartment was... comfortable. It really felt like home, as Natasha sat tucked into his side and his best friend entertained them all with memories of their shared youth.

Seeing Natasha smiling as much as she was, and Bucky forming a bond with her so quickly, brought a rather emotional smile to Steve's face, and he relaxed.

At the next story Bucky brought up, Steve jumped right in and bantered back, reminding Bucky, "don't forget that you were the one who had that idea in the first place!" Natasha turned to face him and her eyes shone brighter than the sun, Steve swore. She was practically beaming at him, at how he'd playfully joined the conversation, and he couldn't even deny that he swooned a little more right then.

The sun eventually began to ducked below the horizon and Bucky checked his watch, "well, as much fun as this has been, I should probably get going. Becca's date is coming to pick her up at 7 and I gotta be there to play protective big brother," he grinned in excitement, and Natasha knew right then he was as good a man as Steve.

She stood and smiled, "alright, well it's been a great time getting to know you, Bucky."

He grinned back at her as he rose to full height, "you too, kid. Hey, actually, mind if I borrow you for a minute?"

Natasha's eyes widened slightly but she shook her head, "not at all. Give us a minute, Steve?" she turned to her boyfriend, who nodded and went off to the back room, muttering something under his breath.

"S'nothing bad, I promise," Bucky continued once Steve was out of earshot. Natasha smiled in relief at him and he continued, "I just didn't want to embarrass him more, but.. I wanted to tell you I'm really happy you two found each other. Steve seems happier than I've seen him in a long time, and I know that's because of you. So," he scratched the back of his head and Natasha smiled at the familiar motion, "I guess I just wanted to say thank you."

Natasha stepped towards him and wrapped him in a tight hug, holding for a moment before pulling back, "it's nothing at all. He's made me happy too, really happy" she smiled instinctively.

"Well, I'm glad to hear it. And hey, if he ever hurts you, you let me know pronto, doll. I'm not afraid to give him a good whoopin'"

Natasha had to bite back a laugh at that, but her eyes told the story nonetheless. "Thank you, Bucky, but I'm doubtful we'll ever be in that situation."

"Alright well, you're practically my sister now, so I'm here for you - whatever you need." Natasha only smiled in response, and Bucky called Steve back in the room.

They said their goodbyes with a strong hug and pat on the back, and when they came apart, Steve back at Natasha's side, Bucky told him "don't you dare hurt this girl, Steven Grant Rogers."

It was a thinly veiled threat, but Steve _grinned_ in response. "You have my word, James Buchanan Barnes," came Steve's serious but also smart-ass response.

Bucky just shook his head and mumbled something about Steve always being "suck a fuckin' punk-ass kid" before opening the door and then turned back around to face them.

"Well, farewell my friends. Take care of each other," Steve and Natasha both smiled gently at Bucky's well-wishes.

"Natasha," he picked up her hand and pressed his lips atop it, continuing, "a pleasure to meet you, beautiful," then letting her go. Natasha blushed and Steve rolled his eyes as Bucky headed down the hall, shouting "enjoy the rest of your weekend!" and shooting a wink their way when he reached the stairs.

"Bye, Buck," Steve shook his head good-naturedly as he shut the door.

"Well," Natasha breathed out, "he sure is something."

Steve chuckled and dropped his head to her shoulder, "yeah, sure is.."

Natasha stroked his hair a few times, until he pressed a kiss to her neck and lifted his head back up. "So, we have the rest of the night - what d'you wanna do?"

"Hmm, I'm actually pretty exhausted.. maybe we can just throw something together for dinner and watch a movie? And then," she turned to face him directly and began running her fingers up his abdomen, "I should have enough energy again," she paused for dramatic effect as she reached his chest, "for _other_ activities," she finished with a wink.

Steve laughed and tipped his head back. "Sounds good, sweetheart," he concurred when he looked at her again, and then kissed her chastely before going to get his tablet to look up restaurants.

  
Later that evening when they were settled comfortably in bed, Steve's voice sounded roughly, "hey Nat," and she turned on her side to face him. "Hmm?" she responded, eyes weighed down with satisfaction and sleepiness.

Steve reached out to move a stray piece of hair that had fallen onto her face, and as he tucked it back behind her ear, he kept his hand there, stroking gently. "You were great today. Thank you, for being so willing to do all that," he spoke quietly, lowly, voice betraying the gratitude and awe he felt towards her.

Natasha's eyes opened fully and he was struck by the vibrancy he saw there. "I was happy to, Steve. I had a really good day," she told him honestly, and smiled at the feeling of content within her.

"I'm so glad," he murmured, then kissed her anew. "I love you," he whispered when they came apart. At Natasha's content hum, he smiled and wrapped his arms around her, effectively enveloping her, feeling his heart swell to its limit when she sighed and snuggled further into his embrace. "G'night, angel," he whispered and, upon hearing no response, let himself drift into blissful sleep, as well.

Only after she felt the relaxation of his muscles, a sign of deep sleep, did she whisper back, "goodnight, Steve. Love you too," smiling to herself before falling into the land of dreams right along with him.

* * *

"Steeeve," Natasha's soft voice sounded somewhere near him. His eyelashes fluttered open just slightly and she knew that he was beginning to awaken. She pressed a featherlight kiss to his jaw and repeated the gentle, singsongy call of his name, "Steeve, wake up."

He shifted beneath her and she paused, keeping still in her position slightly above and behind him to watch him wake up fully. Natasha had woken first, and upon finding Steve still fast asleep next to her, took advantage of the rare opportunity to watch him while he rested. He looked so young when he slept, so peaceful, without the weight of the circumstances of his life bearing down on him. Natasha felt slightly guilty for being part of the reason he was sometimes so stressed, but more than anything, she felt privileged to be the one to see him like this, to bring this serenity out of him.

So after she went to the bathroom, she got right back under the covers next to him and gazed at his restful form. That is, until she felt herself getting hungry. She was going to throw a little something together for herself, but knowing her boyfriend, he wouldn't want to miss out, so she took it upon herself to wake him up.

"Mm, morning," his still-scratchy voice greeted her with lazy eyes and a sleepy smile.

"Good morning, lover boy," Natasha teased gently before placing a soft kiss upon his lips. "I was just about to go fix myself some breakfast and thought you might want to be awake to partake, too," she told him and smiled knowingly down at him.

Steve leaned in for another kiss, and murmured against her lips, "hmm, I think I'll have my breakfast right _here_." And on the last word, he swiftly pulled her up and onto his lap, sitting up now, resulting in Natasha squealing in surprise.

Steve only laughed and moved back in to kiss her quiet. Natasha's noises of surprise turned into short laughs and then breathy chuckles as Steve moved his lips down her neck, taking special care when he reached her pulse point.

"Steve," Natasha called, voice no more than a breath, and he didn't stop. Again, trying to be more firm this time, she voiced, "Steve, Steve stop, stop." He pulled away and looked her over with concern, but she waved him off and simply told him, "phone," before rolling off him and plopping down onto the bed.

He'd been so busy laving his attentions on Natasha that he hadn't heard the phone ring, but as it was about to stop, he grabbed it and answered, "Hello?"

"Well good morning son, I was wondering when I'd hear from you."

"Mom," Steve exhaled, and at that, Natasha turned to face him, interest piqued.

"We never finalized plans for breakfast so I just wanted to call and make sure it was still happening - did I wake you?"

"No, no, but I just woke up a little bit ago — give us about half an hour? We can meet at the cafe down the block from you."

Sarah agreed and hung up, leaving Steve to feel slightly guilty — "shit, I forgot my mom wanted to have breakfast with us before we got on the road," he informed Natasha. Looking at her with hope and an apology in his eyes, he asked, "is that okay?"

To his slight surprise, Natasha smiled widely back at him and almost immediately responded, "absolutely!" Sensing his thoughts, she kissed him firmly and reassured him when she pulled back, "you don't have to feel bad. I love your mom." She smiled warmly, and Steve knew all was okay - she was telling the truth.

"Okay, great," he grinned. "Well, we have a little less than half an hour now to get ready, so better hop to," he playfully slapped her ass and shot her a wink, kissing her one last time, and with that, he was gone.

  
Breakfast with Sarah was wonderful, as always. Natasha had really come to admire the woman, and it pleased Steve to no end to see the two most important women in his life getting along so well.

After their orders had been placed, Steve leaned back in his chair and instinctively placed an arm on the back of Natasha's, resulting in a brief but knowing look from his mother, before she turned her attention to Natasha. He was perfectly fine with that, in fact, most content when he played background to their conversation, as he could just observe them, always with a smile on his face.

"So, Natasha, are you excited for the last couple weeks of school? Feeling ready to graduate?"

Natasha was taken aback for a moment, as no one besides Steve had ever really shown concern with her school life. "Oh, um," she started, then smiled, and gave her answer, "yeah, actually, I mean, I know it'll be really busy with finals and APs and everything, but I'm excited." Seeing Sarah's soft smile and interested expression, she happily continued. "I just feel like I've been in school forever, and I know I'm not going to be done with it, but this is a big part of my life that... I'm over. You know, I've lived it out as much as possible, but I'm very ready to move on."

Natasha shared Sarah's soft smile when she finished and noticed the older woman looking meaningfully back at her. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, feeling suddenly shy, and looked down at her lap, until Sarah started speaking.

"Darling, you have every right to feel that way. From what I hear, that world hasn't been too wonderful to you so far, and you deserve to go out and explore... find somewhere, and someone," she glanced significantly at Steve who immediately turned a light shade of pink, "that really makes you feel whole, makes you feel like yourself." Sarah smiled at her like Natasha always envisioned a mother looking at her daughter - with pride, with genuine care, and with love.

Natasha was suddenly overcome with emotion, recognizing that this was her first time encountering an actual motherly figure showing real concern and interest in her life, in her well-being, in what was best for her. She blinked back a few tears and cleared her throat before responding with the most sincerity she could convey, "thank you."

Sarah clearly understood the weight of those words, as she took Natasha's hand in hers and held it tightly, looking directly into her eyes. "I'm happy for you, Natasha. Congratulations," she smiled gently across the table before patting her hand and letting her go, just as the waiter returned with their food.

Steve looked between them with immense pride and joy as his heart swelled even further, but said nothing as he didn't want to intrude on their personal, important moment. Instead, he opted for making a comment about the food, and the desired effect was had as both his mom and girlfriend laughed before the table went silent again as everyone dug into their food.

The rest of the meal passed quickly and before they knew it, Steve and Natasha were hugging Sarah goodbye and driving back to his apartment to pack, and then they were on the road again.

  
The ride was quiet and very peaceful - words simply weren't needed as Steve drove down the fairly empty highway, Sinatra playing over the stereo and Natasha's hand clasped in his. Plus, he figured she needed some time to decompress and process everything from the weekend, so he stayed relatively quiet and never stopped brushing his thumb over her skin in an unconscious, soothing manner.

Eventually, Natasha turned to face him with a content smile on her face. "I had a really good time this weekend," she said.

He glanced at her briefly, eyes crinkling at the corners with how happy he was, before turning his gaze back to the road. He squeezed her hand to emphasize his next words, "I'm glad."

Natasha continued, while never taking her eyes off him, "I mean it. I'm so happy I got to meet Bucky, and I feel like we got along really well. I don't know why I was so nervous, but I feel a lot better now. You guys are so alike it's ridiculous... but definitely different, too," she ruminated. "But anyway, my point is, between him and your mom, who you already know I adore — I'm really excited to move out here," and her smile showed it.

Steve glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, and grinned. "Me too, Nat, me too," he replied before bringing her hand to his lips then setting it back down and lacing their fingers together.

Natasha looked away and bit her lip to hold back the huge smile that was threatening to take over. Everything felt so _right_ in that moment, and she was tempted to give in right then and take him up on his offer to live together.

As if reading her mind, however, Steve spoke up, "you know, I'm not expecting an answer right away." Natasha swiftly turned back to face him as he continued. "Take all the time you need. And talk to me about it, if you want. I know it's a big decision," he smiled gently, "I want you to think about what will make you happiest and most comfortable, okay?"

Natasha returned his soft smile — "okay."

And with that, that topic was put away until she was ready to talk about it again.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while longer until Steve piped up again. "Hey, when we get back since it's going to be earlier than normal, wanna hang out for a bit? I just have some last papers to grade, but I can make us dinner, we can relax a little..."

"Yeah, sounds good," Natasha replied with a quick smile. She felt most at home at Steve's anyway, and at that point, it wouldn't be a surprise for her not to come home until later Sunday night.

For the remainder of the drive, they switched between comfortable silence, chatter about the upcoming weeks, and laughter when Natasha brought up some of the stories Bucky had shared with her. And neither of them could think of any place they'd rather be.

It was a noticeable shift, when they got back to Steve's apartment, from the moment they left the car. Being back in town, they had to remember to be careful again, with every action they took. Their freedom was gone, and it had them both immediately yearning to return to New York. Of course, once they were inside, everything returned to normal, but the seed had indeed been planted - they were ready to go.

And as they looked at each other over the counter where Steve was cooking and Natasha was gathering the dishes, they knew they were thinking the same thing. Natasha said it best when she broke a brief silence - "hey," she started, causing Steve to look up at her, "I can't wait to start my life with you." The resounding grins on both their faces spoke volumes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! it's been a while again, I know. and I'm sorry. This was ready earlier this week but my computer decided to stop working, so this is the first chance I've had to sit down and make final edits. I hope you liked it, though!
> 
> can you tell I love Bucky, and Sarah of course? :)
> 
> thank you for reading, as always. I half want to have this done by Endgame, and half want to continue it after so we can have happiness to hold onto. let me know what you'd rather have and I'll deliberate some more. love to you all!


	35. Finishing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we're in the endgame now

“Hi,” Natasha greeted as she shut his office door behind her, then leaned up to give Steve a kiss.

It was dead week, and Natasha felt that, but she'd also never felt more alive. See, it being the week before final exams, every last Senior ceremony, meeting, and event fell within those five days. And she and Steve were attached at the hip. She was at his place every single night studying (found herself practically moved in for that week, really), and those many events had given them the chance to spend even more time together.

It was still a school setting, sure, but there was something about it being the seniors’ last week of classes that had the entire faculty treating them much less as students, and slightly closer to equals, or, at least, adults. So it wasn't odd for conversations to be more casual, less professional, and Steve and Natasha took advantage of that.

"Hey, sweetheart," Steve returned after chasing her kiss briefly. "Hungry?" he asked, turning around to grab the lunch he made from the mini-fridge that had taken up residence behind his desk, and popping the dish into the microwave that sat atop the fridge.

"Mmm, very. Especially for your fettuccine alfredo," Natasha winked as she relaxed into the cushions on the floor, resulting in a warm smile from Steve. He joined her on the blankets once the food was done, and the conversation flowed easily from there. Natasha pestered Steve to no end about what he would perform in the faculty and staff talent show that Wednesday, but he wouldn't tell her - only smiled and shook his head, staying silent, when she asked. They also had the awards dinner on Thursday, and grad night Friday, which Natasha was very excited about.

_"I mean - Disney World, Steve! We're going to Disney World! Flying! to Disney World! I can't believe we've actually raised that much money over the years. Can you believe - oh my god, I need a picture with Mulan, and we_ have _to go to Toy Story Land, and Tower of Terror! Oh my god - I would wait in line for as long as I have to," she'd exclaimed, literally bouncing up and down, when the confirmation email had been sent out._

_All Steve could do was laugh, eyes bright with amusement and adoration, and hold her waist when she jumped into his arms to kiss him soundly. "I promise I will try to make it so you can do_ all _of that, Nat. After all," he paused, "if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will coooome true," he sang while moving them in grand circles around the room._

The memory of Natasha's gleeful laughter would bring a smile to Steve's face for years to come. For now, though, he just smiled at her as she talked about her speech for graduation, and thought of how lucky he was to have her, how insanely overjoyed he was that they'd made it so far and their time of hiding was almost over.

* * *

Wednesday came quickly and it was suddenly the end of the school day and all the students had assembled in the auditorium for the annual faculty talent show. Steve had still not told Natasha what he'd be performing, but she was now actually grateful for his secrecy. Still, she was antsy where she sat, leg bouncing until Clint rather firmly placed his hand over her knee to still her movements. She looked over at him with an apologetic look in her eyes, and just as he grinned back, the hall lights turned off, the stage lights turned on, and the show began.

It started with a song and dance put on by the entire faculty, a spoof on the popular song of a few years prior, Hotline Bling. The whole crowd was laughing and hollering by the second verse, and for good reason since they were all making fools of themselves, but of course, Natasha only had eyes for one person.

Her response to the whole thing was more subdued - a few soft laughs here and there as she watched Steve go through the movements, attempting to dance like Drake and utterly failing. Once, he caught her smiling and shaking her head and sent her a wink, which of course caused her cheeks to heat up even more and the grin to expand.

Clint leaned over and made some comment to Natasha about how ridiculous one of the teachers looked, but Natasha's only response was a hum that signaled she wasn't really paying attention. He followed her line of sight and rolled his eyes when he saw what was distracting her.

"Nat," he nudged her, repeating himself when she didn't respond, "Nat." That broke the spell and she quickly turned to face him, eyebrows arched in a question.

Clint smirked, "you're staring."

Natasha's eyes widened and she glanced around quickly before looking a little guilty at being caught, then turning her focus back to the stage.

After the group number, a few faculty members took turns performing individually or as duos, and to the students' collective surprise, they weren't terrible! Then, the lights dimmed, a single stool was brought out, followed by a figure. The spotlight turned on, and there was Steve.

He briefly tuned the guitar he was holding, and then began to sing. A hush fell over the entire audience, but Natasha's jaw was the only one that dropped. He was looking right at her as he strummed the guitar and sang, "I wanna stand with you on a mountain, I want to bathe with you in the sea."

Natasha's eyes became suddenly filled with pools of water, and she blinked furiously to push them back. When her eyes landed back on Steve's, he smiled ever so slightly and continued with purpose, "I want to lay like this forever, until the sky falls down over me."

In rhythm with his acoustic version of one of Natasha's secret favorite songs, the crowd began to hold up their flashlights and sway back and forth. Steve glanced around at them and continued, swaying in time with his own music, before letting his gaze fall back on Natasha. She was transfixed, that's the only way to put it — overcome with emotion and a strong flare of love for the man looking back at her.

She smiled at him, a truly beautiful one, then, never breaking eye contact, turned on the flashlight on her phone and lifted hers up as well, swaying back and forth with her fellow students. Steve's smile widened and he really got into it, having fun now, feeling light as air now that he knew Natasha was so touched by his surprise.

By the end of his performance, the crowd was roaring in applause and Natasha was subtly wiping tears from her eyes. Steve sent her one last, loving look, to which she huffed out a laugh through the tears that were still falling, and then he left the stage.

The act that followed made a joke about Steve always having to set the bar so high, and Natasha didn't pay much attention for the rest of the show.

The school day ended shortly thereafter, and she made a beeline for his office. When he finally returned, she leapt off the desk where she'd been sitting and not so patiently waiting, and wrapped herself around him tightly just as the door shut behind him.

"Well hello," Steve chuckled in that deliciously low voice as she jumped and he held her so she could wrap her legs around his waist.

"Hi," Natasha's voice came out soft when she spoke, and then she kissed him because she couldn't hold back any longer.

Steve reacted quickly and turned them so her back was against the wall. He sighed into the kiss and cradled her jaw with his hand as he pressed his lips against hers - passionately.

When they finally came apart - breathing heavily and leaning their foreheads together - Steve asked what he'd been dying to know since the moment he stepped off the stage, "what did you think?"

Natasha exhaled and pecked his lips one last time before leaning back to softly tell him, "you're amazing."

She winked, realizing her words could also be construed as pertaining to their impromptu make-out session, and just Steve chuckled and shook his head before setting her down but staying close with his arms loosely wrapped around her waist.

Natasha smiled warmly up at him as she locked her hands behind his neck. "I mean it, Steve. I had no idea you could sing like that, or even play the guitar! I think you've been holding out on me," she teased.

Steve looked bashful and did say, "sorry," though he didn't sound too sorry at all. He was actually very pleased with himself for keeping his plan a secret for so long, and Natasha's reaction just made it even better.

"No but seriously, you were amazing up there," Natasha continued, the tone in her voice conveying her sincerity. She played with the hairs at the nape of his neck and looked up at him, to make sure he could see the honesty in her expression, before uttering, "thank you."

Her voice was rough with the vulnerability and emotion she felt, and Steve recognized that right away. He pulled her closer and pressed a strong, lingering kiss to her forehead. "Anything for you."

Natasha let her hands drop and she embraced him in a full hug, burying her face into his chest and reveling in the tightening of his arms around her waist and the feel of his cheek atop her head.

"Come on," Steve spoke up after a moment, letting his hands slide from her waist to her hands, intertwining their fingers and squeezing gently. "Let's go home."

* * *

Classes went by quickly the next day, and before they both knew it, Natasha was leaving Steve's apartment to go get ready for the small awards dinner they would both be attending that evening. She quickly brushed on some light makeup - not much more than mascara and some lip gloss since her skin had been glowing lately - and threw on her black velvet dress and heels.

The entire drive over, though they were going separately, both Steve and Natasha were recalling their plan again in their minds. They obviously didn't want to arouse suspicion, so they'd come up with strict rules for how close they were allowed to stand, how they had to make an effort to talk to other people, and sit outside of each other's direct line of sight. It would be too difficult to avoid sticking with each other if they didn't have those policies in place.

However, when Steve arrived at the restaurant, he found, much to his dismay, that the seating around the circular booth was pre-assigned, and his and Natasha's name cards were right next to each other. It would obviously be weird if he tried to switch them, so he accepted it for what it was and just decided to make sure Natasha was warned when she arrived.

He was shaking hands with Dr. Erskine when she walked in, spotted them, and made her way over. Erskine gave her a quick hug hello, so Steve followed, whispering quickly into her ear, "we're next to each other," before pulling back and jumping into regular conversation, asking "so, ready for your big night?"

She showed no surprise or worry at his whispered statement, but smiled, nodded, and so the night began.

When everyone had arrived and it was time to sit, Steve and Natasha made a tiny show of realizing they were sat together. Well, mostly Steve did, as a teacher would do, and Natasha smiled and laughed along.

It was a large enough booth, but there were enough people that everyone was somewhat squished together. And if Natasha scooted closer to Steve to avoid being elbowed by the left-handed Mr. Samuels, well, that was understandable.

Of course, that meant that throughout the course of the night, Steve and Natasha were constantly brushing against each other every time one of them moved. The shared body heat made their area quite warm, to the point that Steve's cheeks were flushed by the time dinner was served, and not just from some light touching.

See, Natasha had decided to have a little fun that night, and had taken to running her fingers lightly up his thigh every so often, catching him off guard and causing him, more than once, to choke on his drink. Of course then Natasha would feign concern, and as soon as he'd gotten comfortable again, she'd move right back in. Steve eventually stopped drinking so much water, and so could move more quickly and still her movements by placing his hand over hers.

It wasn't long until the waiter returned with their food, and the conversation died down a bit as everyone enjoyed their meals. They did make one small mistake when they offered each other a taste of what they ordered - forgetting for a moment that other eyes could be on them. But the moment was over as soon as it began, and everyone else at the table seemed to be none the wiser.

After the food was cleared and dessert orders had been placed, Steve gave Natasha's hand a quick squeeze under the table and then stood, tapping his fork against his wine glass to get everyone's attention.

"Thank you, everyone. Big thanks to Principal Fury for putting this whole night on, and now to our esteemed graduates." He turned to look at Natasha and then Rachel, the Salutatorian who sat across the table. "Ladies, we're here tonight to honor you. You are both wonderful examples of the kind of individual we hope to mold at this school, and I for one couldn't be more proud to have had the chance to teach both of you."

Natasha and Rachel smiled at each other from across the table before turning their attention back to Steve as he began speaking again.

"Rachel, you've always been such a bright student, and a real pleasure to teach. I'm sad to see you go because you've provided a great role model for your fellow students, encouraging them with your actions to participate and improve themselves, too. But you're going to do great things, and I very much look forward to the day I see your name on the list of presidential candidates." Steve smiled and held his glass towards Rachel, who blushed but returned his smile nonetheless.

"And Natasha," he turned back to look down at Natasha and his gaze turned full of admiration, something deeper than when he was speaking to Rachel. "Natasha, you have overcome so many obstacles to get to this point, and I know your parents are so proud of you. Not only have you achieved something great with your grades, you have the respect of every single person at this table," he motioned around and Natasha's gaze followed, finding every faculty member present nodding his or her agreement. "You've shown yourself to be an incredibly kind, generous person, with a passion for what's right. I know you will go so far in life - to wherever you desire - and I think I speak for all of us here when I say, congratulations, and it's been an absolute pleasure."

As he finished, he stared directly down at her, and the rest of the group was drowned out for a moment. Natasha's eyes watered slightly and only when Steve smiled gently and turned back to the group, saying a final, "congratulations, you two," did she blink back into focus and quickly dab her eyes dry.

She and Steve were attached at the hip for the rest of the evening, not like it mattered or was noticeable, because everyone became more lively after that, and then with dessert, and everyone was squished against each other anyway as smaller conversations began to take place.

Steve took advantage of the distraction and reached under the table to lace their fingers together. Natasha looked over at him with a grateful smile, filled with some other emotion he'd rarely seen, and he didn't let go until it was time to leave.

Later that night they were back at Steve's place, lying together in peaceful silence, just cuddling — Natasha's head rested on his chest while Steve played with her hair. In a somewhat slow movement, she tilted her head to look at him, smiled, and simply said, "thank you."

She didn't need to say what for — he knew, and he gave her that wonderful little smile before he dropped a kiss atop her head and pulled her ever closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo - we're almost there, folks! I did have a third section to this event-filled chapter, but it would've made it way too long. I was a bit sad to cut it out, so I may add a sort of companion piece to this with one-shots that take place throughout the story, or who knows I might just add that bit in later! let me know what you thought!
> 
> the song Steve sang (read: serenaded Natasha with) is Yoke Lore's version of Truly Madly Deeply and I highly encourage everyone to listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qAzO8FbHn4
> 
> can't believe it's almost been a year since I first published this monster - the day after endgame will be the marker. thank you to anyone who has stuck with me all the way through - you are the definition of a trooper <3
> 
> and speaking of endgame! I am trying my hardest to have the last chapter posted before then. I have a feeling it's going to destroy my spirit, and I don't want this to suffer because of it. so look forward to that!


	36. Graduating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the end of all things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this chapter contains smut - if you want to skip it, stop reading at "as he moved them both to the bedroom" and you can pick back up again at "Sleepily, Natasha ran her hands through..."

 

Though Natasha had been studying for weeks, she still felt the need to review up until the day prior. She wouldn't be herself if she didn't. So that last and final week of school found her camped out in Steve's apartment.

She'd told her parents she was staying with Clint some nights and Maria others, so they could study all the way through the night. No surprise, they hadn't questioned it. She already felt like she was on her own, so it wouldn't be difficult to move out in a couple weeks as she and Steve had planned.

For the time being, though, Steve was helping Natasha in every way he knew how - being the ultimate supportive boyfriend.

"Thirty minutes left, Nat," he spoke up from across the table. He was currently keeping time while she practiced one of the potential essays for her US Government exam the following day.

The past few nights, Steve had switched between quizzing her, letting her teach him, and making sure she was well-fed and well-rested, as much as she would allow.

With two exams down and four to go, plus AP exams, Natasha was understandably stressed, as she wanted to make sure she was as prepared as possible. And so, she pushed herself. Steve was trying to be as helpful as possible, but he did have his own last items to take care of.

As of that moment, he was busy grading the round of first-year exam essays that had been completed the previous day while checking the timer every so often to keep Natasha updated. They were a good team - everything aligned so there was no conflict, as Natasha had been slightly worried about. She didn't know what she was thinking — _of course_ Steve would be completely understanding and helpful. It was _Steve_.

Another 20 minutes went by before Natasha sat back, set down her pencil, and exclaimed, though not with a ton of energy, "okay, done!"

Steve looked up with a big smile and then glanced back at the timer, "hey! and with 10 minutes to spare. That's my girl," he finished, pride filling his voice.

Natasha smiled gratefully back at him before asking, "will you read it over?"

"Mhm," he stood, "just as soon as I put dinner on," he said before moving towards her and kissing the side of her head.

"Mac n cheese?" Natasha called out as Steve headed into the kitchen.

"You got it, dude," Steve looked over his shoulder and threw her a wink at his own cheekiness.

Upon hearing Natasha's resounding laugh and joke about him being Michelle from Full House, he smiled to himself and, not for the first time, recognized how happy she made him.

"Alright, water's on. Let's see what you got," Steve said as he returned to the table.

Natasha shifted anxiously in her seat as he took the papers from her and sat back down in his seat. He read silently, and Natasha watched his face for any indication of his opinion. When a small smile appeared on his face, she felt both relieved and even more anxious.

"What?" she couldn't help but ask. "What is it?!"

But Steve only shook his head, smile growing, turned the page, and left her to wonder until he set the pages down and looked up at her.

"Well?"

"It was great, Nat," he finally answered.

"Yeah?" she asked, eyes wide and eyebrows raised in anticipation.

"Yeah!" Steve chuckled. "I know I could be biased, but speaking as objectively as possible, you hit every important thing. I even feel like I learned a little bit more from this than I remember from my Gov class. You make some really good points in here — are you sure you're not going to be a Poli Sci major?" he teased.

Natasha rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless, "I'm sure, but thank you for thinking I could be. Alright," she stretched her arms out, "if that was as good as you thought, I think I'm going to take a little break."

"Good, you deserve it. If you want, you can run the bath or hop in the shower while I finish up dinner. I'll come get you when it's ready."

"Thank you," Natasha said softly. She kissed his cheek on her way the bedroom and the next sound Steve heard was the water running and her quiet humming.

Natasha felt her exams had gone as smoothly as she could've hoped, so the next day, she went home and took a little time to make lunch for Steve as a thank-you for his help the past couple days.

She had his exam the following day, along with science which was just a two hour period of presentations, so she felt she could relax a little. And good thing, because just as Steve walked in the door, her phone buzzed in her hand with a reminder that she had to work a shift in a few hours.

"Hey," Steve's greeting caused Natasha's head to whip back up. "Hey," she returned with a soft smile before leaning up to kiss him when he moved closer.

"Something wrong?" he asked, nodding to her phone.

"No, actually," she smiled as she looked back up at him and it was one of peace, of resolve. "Everything's fine. Just work," she explained.

"Ah," Steve nodded in understanding, "you ready for that?"

Natasha looked at him, really looked at him, and smiled. "Absolutely."

"I'm going to be there with you, all the way." Steve reminded her as he laced their fingers together, then pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

"I know, Steve, I know," she whispered, moving closer until their foreheads were touching. "Thank you," she murmured, and then kissed him soundly.

They pulled apart when the timer went off in the kitchen and Steve looked over curiously, before turning back to Natasha with raised eyebrows.

She pecked his lips once more before sliding off her chair and around him. "I made lunch! Your favorite sandwiches," she explained with a grin while heading to the kitchen.

"Ugh! You're the BEST," Steve exclaimed.

"Mhm, I know," Natasha answered with a wink.

  
After lunch, there was a snuggling session on the couch during which Steve helped Natasha review for the Lit exam as much as was appropriate given his position as her teacher. But Natasha felt confident enough in that, so she was okay with only a brief review. He let her run through her science presentation, and then it was time for her to get ready for work.

Natasha stood in front of the mirror and ran her hands through her hair one last time, smiling when Steve appeared behind her. "Ready?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder.

She locked eyes with him in the mirror and leaned into his touch. "Yeah," she breathed out. "You?"

"Mhm," he mumbled into her skin before pressing a kiss to her neck. Natasha smiled and laced their fingers together, "let's go."

  
When they arrived at the club, Natasha left Steve at the front door with instructions to the bouncer to make sure he was in a comfortable seat.

"Hey, wait wait wait," Steve grabbed her wrist and pulled her close, tilting her chin up with one finger so he could kiss her. "Okay, go get 'em babe," Steve said when he pulled away after a moment.

Natasha smiled and rolled her eyes in mock annoyance. "See you in a bit. I'll come find you when I'm done," she nodded to the bouncer again and Steve was promptly ushered inside.

"Okay, Natasha. This is it," she whispered to herself as she walked to the back door. She briefly thought back to when she'd told Steve of her plan, and smiled instinctively at the memory of his bright, happy expression and how he'd swung her around before singing, "it's the final countdown" and dancing around her like a total dork.

As soon as she got into the dressing room and finished getting herself ready, she went to find Madame B. Turns out, she didn't have to go very far as the woman herself walked into the room in that very moment.

"Natalia, let's go! It is almost time for you to begin."

"Actually, Madame B, I wanted to talk to you about that," Natasha bravely began as she walked with her boss out the door. "See, I'm graduating, so I'll be moving soon. And -" she cleared her throat - "tonight is going to be my last night."

It was said so matter-of-factly that she was sure Steve would've been proud. Hell, she was proud of herself. And when Madame B stopped walking to look at her, she stood her ground. "Fine," the older woman eventually said with an exasperated sigh before turning the other way and leaving Natasha to smile to herself before striding with confidence out to the stage.

A rather short hour and a half later, Natasha was bounding out into the audience, back in regular clothes, straight into Steve's waiting arms.

He chuckled but held her close, nonetheless. "Hey, sweetheart! Good to go?"

She grinned, "one hundred percent," and then closed the space between them to lock their lips together. When she pulled back, she laced their fingers together and stood. "Come on, let's get out of here." She leaned closer to whisper in his ear, "I feel eyes," and Steve understood immediately.

He stood and pulled her closer until he could wrap one arm around her waist. "I got you," he whispered into her hairline as they began walking towards the door.

She slowed for a moment, enough to look Steve directly in the eye and tell him with a smile, "I know."

They stayed that way for a moment, gazing into each other's eyes like it was some sort of fairy tale. But it was the way they communicated, how they could instantly tell what the other was thinking, and in this case, they were both saying something important with a sparkle in each of their eyes.

When they returned home and were finally in bed, both on the brink of sleep, Natasha turned around in Steve's embrace and titled her head up to face him. "Hey," she whispered, waiting until he blinked his eyes open. She almost forgot what she was going to say with the sleepy, unfiltered adoring look he gave her, but shook herself out of it and continued speaking. "Thank you. For being there for me tonight."

He yawned and grinned tiredly. "Always," he murmured before kissing her forehead without much finesse and patting her shoulder, "now go to sleep."

Natasha's smile as Steve's eyes fluttered shut again could've made a goddess jealous. She snuggled further into his embrace and whispered, "night, Steve," before falling into a deep slumber herself.

  
When it came time for Natasha's Lit exam the next day, she was definitely feeling more nervous and stressed than she had the night before. She was still working on the multiple choice section as Steve called out that they had an hour and a half left, and Natasha's whole body tensed up. She stared down at the paper with a helpless look, anxiety getting the better of her, until her brain finally forced its way through.

She squeezed her eyes shut, shook herself out of it, and went back to work. But the tenseness in her body remained, and as Steve glanced up from his desk to check on the class, he noticed it - as soon as he laid eyes on her.

Frowning to himself, he put his pencil down and set the papers he was grading to the side, then stood. He began to walk up and down the rows of students, saving Natasha's row for last. It was time for a check-up anyway, so the pretense made sense.

When he finally reached her, he stood behind her, pretending to look over her shoulder at what she was writing. Her shoulders were drawn up - she was still stressed, Steve could tell. Luckily, she was sitting in the very last row, with no one behind her to potentially look up.

So he slowly and inconspicuously brought his hand to the back of her neck, brushing his fingers along the patch of skin that was visible, until his fingers reached the spot between her shoulder and neck. He pressed his fingers in a little harder, then moved them in slow circles, giving Natasha a small massage. After a few moments, he felt her muscles relax and her shoulders move up and down as a quiet exhale left her lungs.

He slowed and eased up the pressure until his fingertips were skating across her neck, then down her back and away until they were no longer there at all. As he walked slowly past her, he caught her small, half-grin, and gazed warmly at her for a moment before continuing on.

From there, Natasha was like a whirlwind, writing paragraph after paragraph, feeling confident and sure. Thanks in no small part to Steve, she ended up being the first one finished, and shared a smile with him before practically floating out of the room.

Her presentation in the next class went smoothly and before she knew it, she was home again, sitting across from Steve on the couch, her ankles in his lap as he drilled her on information for her AP exam the following day.

She felt fairly confident in that, and so moved onto the next after just a few hours. Steve got up to make dinner, cooked for about half an hour, and came back to find her still pouring over her study guide. He had to actually push the papers out of her hands to get her to eat, and, once dinner was over and she'd gone back to the couch, had to hold a glass of water in front of her to remind her to stay hydrated.

Eventually Natasha asked Steve to quiz her, which was a sign of progress. However, she seemed to be going hard on herself, pushing herself and really making sure she was ready, and Steve knew it wasn't good for her. She got practically everything correct when he asked her questions from the study guide, so even if she didn't think it, he knew she was ready.

After another hour of Natasha reviewing, she asked him to quiz her again. Only this time, Steve said no.

"What? But I need to make sure I know this!" She looked at him with wide, scared eyes and he almost felt bad, but he was confident in his decision.

"Nat," he spoke softly, "you know this like the back of your hand. You just got almost every question right. I think you're ready."

She looked slightly more convinced, but still nervous at the prospect of being done.

"Come on, you're going to do great. When was the last time you relaxed a little?"

She appeared thoughtful, and then a little ashamed.

"Exactly. So come to bed," his voice lowered an octave, "and let me take care of you."

At that, her eyes flicked up to meet his from under her lashes, and the faintest hint of a smirk appeared on her lips. Steve took that for what it was and didn't wait a moment longer before he was picking her up and molding his lips to hers as he moved them both to the bedroom.

He laid her on the bed beneath him and broke the kiss just so he could look down at her. The sight he found - Natasha with flushed cheeks, chest heaving, and eyes darkened - nearly did him in. But he had an idea in his head, and he was not going to be deterred from carrying it out.

He smiled lovingly at her and tucked her hair behind her ears so he could see her angelic face better. At his touch, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, only opening them again halfway. He pecked her lips again and then moved his lips down her jaw, up again until he reached her ear.

"Relax," he whispered, and she did. He felt her body sink further into the mattress as he began working his lips down her neck, kissing and suckling in the spots he knew she loved. It wasn't long before she was panting lightly beneath him and pulling him in for a sweet but telling kiss.

When she pulled back. he moved on. He kissed every inch of skin he could find while pushing her shirt up a bit at a time, until he tugged it up and over her head when they'd both had enough of it.

Before long, his tongue and mouth had worked over her bare chest and Natasha was squirming beneath him, enjoying the slow teasing but also needing more. Steve knew this, and so he obliged, but drew it out in a way he knew she'd hate on the surface but also greatly enjoy on the inside.

He hooked his fingers in her leggings and swiftly pulled them down and off her legs, then, tantalizingly slowly, ran his fingertips back up her now-bare legs. When he reached her hips, he gripped them tightly and pulled her down the bed so he could bury his face between her legs.

He pressed a kiss to the now very damp fabric of her panties and smiled when Natasha twitched beneath him. He moved his lips and tongue to every place _except_ where she wanted him most, and he waited until she was softly whining beneath him to give in.

But when he did, he didn't tease her a moment longer. He swiftly removed her panties, and dove right in. He groaned at the taste of her that he loved so much, after not having it for over a week.

He nearly lost himself in her, twisting his tongue inside of her and kissing her very sensitive nub, until Natasha made a noise above him and tried to twist her hips.

He pulled back then and let her breathe a moment, settling for letting his breathes wash over her until she was ready. After just a little bit, he heard her breathing calm down, and took that for the sign it was, going back in, but slower.

This time, he was completely focused on her - making her forget everything, every stressor, and only focus on the pleasure. He flattened his tongue and drug it up her still sensitive folds before snatching her swollen nub between his teeth and nibbling ever so lightly. He repeated that for a while, alternating between nipping and sucking, before suddenly plunging his tongue inside of her and pressing just roughly enough on her clit. He remained steadfast in that position, speeding up and increasing the pressure when he could feel she was close, until she was whimpering his name in a chant. Then, he switched his tongue and his fingers, hooking two of them inside her, and she came instantly with a shout of "Steve!"

He stayed there, slowly sliding in and out of her, lapping up every last drop until her breathing had slowed and he could no longer hear her heart pounding in her chest. When he finally pulled away, she whimpered a little and held her arms out to him, eyes still closed. He wiped his lips on the back of his hand and went willingly, pressing a light kiss to her inner arm as he went.

He knew just what she wanted, so he let her wrap her arms around his neck, and lowered himself onto her so she would feel the weight of him, but not be fully crushed.

Sleepily, Natasha ran her hands through Steve's hair and hummed contentedly. "Thank you," she managed to get out. A hand wandered down his side until it reached his waist, then wrapped around it.

He took hold of her and turned them so she would be completely tucked against him, able to feel his heart beat beneath her head, just the way she liked.

"I feel better," she mumbled into his skin. Steve's resounding smile was full of adoration and selfless happiness, but all he said back was "I'm glad." He tightened his embrace, and they both promptly fell asleep.

 

The next two days passed swiftly, and in much the same way - Steve continued to help Natasha study and take care of herself, and she finished each AP exam feeling fairly confident in her performance.

Only when it came to Friday night did she get extra nervous again, and that was because graduation was the very next day. She was proud that she was Valedictorian, and she felt her speech was honest and sincere, so she was happy with that, too. The only thing causing her nerves was that she'd never really been very close with her class, never been _in_ on things that had gone on. So she was worried that they wouldn't receive it well, or that it would be irrelevant to the majority of them.

After practicing it in front of Steve a couple times, though, and hearing him repeat that it was widely applicable and very relatable, and she'd captured the feelings of a large group of people, she began to feel better about it.

So she put it away, and spent her last night of high school relaxing on the couch watching High School Musical 3. Steve had thought it would be very apropos, and she kissed him soundly for that. _How did I get so lucky?_ she thought.

Natasha lay with her back to Steve's chest, stretched out and resting comfortable in his embrace, and when Troy appeared at Stanford and began to dance with Gabrielle, Steve stood, letting her fall back against the cushions.

"May I have this dance?" he flashed her a charming smile and held out a hand.

Natasha blushed a little but smiled, and took his hand.

Just as the characters on screen started dancing and the song started playing, Steve twirled her around and they danced in slow, grand circles. He began humming the song, and then lowly singing the words into her ear, while twirling her every so often and always pulling her back into his strong arms.

_Won't you promise me, that you'll never forget; we'll keep dancing, wherever we go next_   
_It's like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you.. it's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do. and with every step together, we just keep on gettin' better, so can i have this dance?_

By the time it was over, they had slowed to just a sway, until Natasha stopped altogether and rested her cheek on Steve's chest, relishing in the tightening of his arms around her waist. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and then returned them to the couch.

He held out his arm and Natasha snuggled in without a word. As the film moved on to another scene, Steve whispered "I'm so lucky I found you."

Natasha's heart stilled and jumped at the same time, and pressed herself further against him before finding it wasn't enough and turning to kiss him softly. "We're lucky we found each other," she whispered into his lips once she pulled away.

Steve just smiled down at her, love as present in his gaze as ever, and Natasha matched her gaze with his before turning back to the movie.

Steve held her closer and wiped her eyes when a few tears fell in the final moments of the movie, and carried her to bed when she was too exhausted to move. He changed her into one of his big shirts which had become her pajamas, stripped down to his boxers, and slid in next to her. Wiggling one arm under her and placing the other around her waist to pull himself closer, he looked down at her and quietly told her, "I'm so proud of you, Nat."

She'd been working so hard that week, and he was incredibly happy she was finished, and that all her hard work had paid off. Natasha knew it wasn't only that, though, that prompted his statement. Steve was able to see every part of her, every single thing she'd been through and had to put herself through, and he saw where she had gotten as a result - the tip top of the range of possibilities.

So she shifted slightly, enough to face him directly, and smiled. "I have you to thank for a lot of it. But, thank you."

Steve knew it was pointless to argue and so just shook his head lightly and kissed her forehead. "Before we get caught up in everything tomorrow, I want to give you something tonight. Don't move, I'll be right back."

Natasha sat up, interest piqued, and watched as Steve disappeared into the closet before coming back with a small box. Her eyes widened as her mind raced with possibilities, and Steve laughed lightly at her expression as he returned.

"Don't freak out, I promise it's not what you're thinking," he spoke gently. Upon seeing her calm a bit, he continued. "It's something I saw a while ago and, I think you know, you're pretty much it for me, Natasha. So think of this," he opened the box and took out what was inside, "as a promise ring."

Her eyes widened again and suddenly filled with tears, her throat constricted and all she could do was stare at him.

"This is my promise to you that I'll do everything I can to be good to you, that I'll never leave you again, that you have me - that I'm yours."

Steve held out the small, simple band to her and waited patiently. Shortly thereafter, Natasha reached out with slightly shaky hands, and Steve slipped the ring onto her finger.

Natasha just stared at it for a moment before looking at Steve again, and when she did, she couldn't stop the sincere, strong smile that appeared on her face. She took her newly ring-ed hand and cupped his jaw, kissing him fiercely for a few seconds before pulling back and pecking his lips one more time.

"Thank you." Her voice was strong and sure, and happy, and Steve smiled when he heard it.

He kissed her chastely and smiled into it. "Now let's go to bed."

* * *

It was a Saturday morning in late May, in a small town outside of Washington DC where Natasha Romanoff stood before her classmates, their parents, and almost the entire faculty and staff. They were about to be announced as high school graduates, and she was about to share her soul, her story with them all, though without them knowing it.

She stepped up to the podium and graciously addressed the crowd, thanking them for being there, for their support of the students, and to the students themselves. Natasha spoke about unity, about developing not just as professional learners but young adults going into the world. She looked out at the crowd as she spoke about how they "may not have been the closest of classes," but that they acted as one when it mattered, and would always carry the past four years with them.

Then, she moved on to the future. "I know we're all worried and maybe a little scared about what's next, but I've learned something from watching the classes before us go through this, and people all around the world moving on from things, or from people or places, every single day."

Natasha glanced out at her classmates and saw more than a few nods, and just like that, she was encouraged to go on, without any fear.

"There is a universal truth that we all must face - everything eventually comes to an end. Summer vacation, a carnival ride, relationships, or even a good book. It's hard, sometimes, to accept the ending of something wonderful, something we've become so comfortable in. But endings are inevitable, time doesn't stop, and we move on.

Today we're saying goodbye to four years of comfort, of growth, of memories, of families created both by blood and by friendship. It's hard, I think we can all agree on that. But I've learned something, and it's important for everyone to know — there are some people who are so much a part of us, they'll be with us always. Our solid ground, our North Star. And no matter where we go, they're there, the small clear voices in our hearts, guiding us and giving us a home.

So I ask of you, graduating class of 2019, one last and final thing. Find the people who are your home, who will be in your heart. Tell them. And be that person for someone else. It doesn't matter if you are everything to one person - you just need to show kindness, and love, to every person. That, my classmates, is how we can all change the world."

She paused, and let the thoughtful silence fill the air for a moment before closing with, "Thank you. And congratulations to the Class of 2019. It's been an honor."

As soon as she stepped back from the podium, the audience erupted with applause. But the first person to stand, to jump to his feet, was Steve. The crowed quickly followed suit, and Natasha felt her cheeks burning from the flush and the way her smile was stretching her skin. She smiled out at the crowd one last time and returned to her seat.

Several minutes later, she was turning the tassel on her cap as the president issued his final congratulations, and then she was a high school graduate.

Her parents did actually attend, but when they were let go and she went back to put her things away and pick up her real diploma, she knew it would be Steve who was there for her, waiting and watching with so much light in his eyes Natasha thought he might combust.

As Valedictorian, she was the last one to parade out, so instead of following the rest of the line, she darted away and ran almost full-speed towards a small hideaway in one of the brick walls that had become a secret place for her and Steve to meet.

And sure enough, as she rounded the corner, there he was, waiting, arms open. She ran right into them and he lifted her instantly, twirling her around until she was out of breath from his kisses and laughing so much and so freely.

Once Natasha's feet were back firmly on the ground, Steve pressed her back against the wall and kissed her deeply, brushing the hair from her face after a long moment so he could move his lips to pepper kisses all over. He was just so damn proud, so incredibly happy for her, and for what it meant for them.

When her giggles became too much and she pushed him away, Steve leaned his forehead against hers and breathed in the moment. "You did it, Nat," he whispered.

She pulled back a little and gazed up at him, then whispered back, "yeah, yeah I did," with a small smile, rather in awe that she was finally living that moment.

Steve smiled and pecked her lips again before pulling away. He quickly fixed her hair and clothes and told her with a wave of his hand, "now go! Take pictures, be with your friends, celebrate."

She laughed, almost drunkenly because of all the joy running through her - she was practically walking on air. She intertwined their fingers and kissed him once more for good measure, then pulled away, but not far. She whispered, "thank you," into his lips, then flicked her eyes up to his to make sure they were connected.

"I love you."

And if Steve didn't think his heart could soar anymore that day, Natasha just went and destroyed that assumption — crumbled it and turned it to dust. He didn't think his face could contain his smile, but then again, he didn't want to stop it.

"I love you too, Nat."

She giggled, happiness positively oozing out of her, before he pulled her in for one of his great bear hugs, enveloping her in everything _Steve_. He kissed the top of her head before resting his chin there, holding her close all the while - he just couldn't let her go.

It was a rare moment of privacy, tranquility, and simplicity that they'd never been able to fully achieve on school grounds before, and they deserved to savor it.

Footsteps approached and they both held their breath, watching as a staff member walked right past them, none the wiser.

Once she was far enough away, Steve laughed and leaned into Natasha, who then mirrored his actions exactly. "I can't wait to show you off to the world," he told her.

Natasha beamed up at him and uttered quietly, as if truly astonished, "we're free."

"Yeah," Steve smiled, "yeah we are. And now you're stuck with me forever." He intertwined their fingers and brought her hand to his lips before letting their hands fall, together.

"Good thing that's just what I want, then," Natasha winked and kissed him again, pulling away just so she could whisper "I love you" into his lips again, and again, and again.

And Steve never once missed an opportunity to say it back, just as he promised, for as long as she would have him, or as long as they both lived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End. 
> 
> so, damn. that's it. that's the story. the curtain call, the grand finale, the fade-to-black. 
> 
> thank you so much to everyone who has read this. and to those who've commented and left kudos, for one, written words fail me, as they cannot describe how deeply grateful I am and how much that helped and impacted me. 
> 
> it has been an absolute honor writing these two, and for you all. This story started out as a therapy session for me, and turned into one of my most proud accomplishments. this experience is something I'll always treasure. Thank you for coming along with me. I can only hope this ending is everything you and these characters deserves. I cried a little bit at the fact that this was ending while I was writing it, but I'm so happy that they're happy. <3 Going to see Endgame tonight - I'll see you all on the flip side.


End file.
